The Eight-Circuit Brain: Navigational Strategies for the Energetic Body

The Eight-Circuit Brain Navigational Strategies for the Energetic Body by Antero Alli

The Original Falcon Press Tempe, Arizona, U.S.A.

Copyright © 2009 C.E. by Antero Alli All rights reserved. No part of this book, in part or in whole, may be reproduced, transmitted, or utilized, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except for brief quotations in critical articles, books and reviews. International Standard Book Number: 978-1-935150-60-2 (hardcopy) ISBN 978-1-61869-600-7 (mobi) ISBN 978-1-61869-601-4 (epub) Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 2014952251

First Limited Edition (Vertical Pool Publishing) 2009 First Falcon Edition 2014 First eBook Edition 2014 Cover artwork by James Koehnline koehnline.com Address all inquiries to: The Original Falcon Press 1753 East Broadway Road #101-277 Tempe, AZ 85282 U.S.A. (or) PO Box 3540 Silver Springs NV 89429 U.S.A. website: http://www.originalfalcon.com email: [email protected]

Some Other Titles from Falcon Press Antero Alli Angel Tech: A Modern Shaman’s Guide to Reality Selection Angel Tech Talk (audio) 8 Circuits of Consciousness (video) An Interview with Antero Alli (video) Paratheatre: A Ritual Technology for Self-Initiation (audio) Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D. & Antero Alli A Modern Shaman’s Guide to a Pregnant Universe Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D. Undoing Yourself with Energized Meditation and Other Devices Radical Undoing: Complete Course for Undoing Yourself (videos & audios) Energized Hypnosis (book, videos & audios) To Lie Is Human: Not Getting Caught Is Divine Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D. with contributions by Wm. S. Burroughs, Timothy Leary, Robert Anton Wilson et al. Rebels & Devils: The Psychology of Liberation S. Jason Black and Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D. Pacts With the Devil: A Chronicle of Sex, Blasphemy & Liberation Urban Voodoo: A Beginner’s Guide to Afro-Caribbean Magic Peter J. Carroll The Chaos Magick Audios PsyberMagick Phil Hine Condensed Chaos: An Introduction to Chaos Magic Prime Chaos: Adventures in Chaos Magic The Pseudonomicon Joseph Lisiewski, Ph.D. Ceremonial Magic and the Power of Evocation Kabbalistic Cycles and the Mastery of Life

Kabbalistic Handbook for the Practicing Magician Israel Regardie The Complete Golden Dawn System of Magic What You Should Know About the Golden Dawn The Golden Dawn Audios The World of Enochian Magic (audio) Steven Heller Monsters & Magical Sticks: There’s No Such Thing As Hypnosis? For up-to-the-minute information on prices and availability, please visit our website at http://originalfalcon.com

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Books and Films by Antero Alli BOOKS verticalpool.com/books.html “THE EIGHT-CIRCUIT BRAIN” (2009) “TOWARDS AN ARCHEOLOGY OF THE SOUL” (2003) “ASTROLOGIK; Rewritten and Abridged” (1999) “THE VERTICAL ORACLE” (w/Sylvie Pickering; 1996) “LETTERS, ESSAYS & PREMONITIONS” (1993) “ASTROLOGIK” (1990) “PREGNANT UNIVERSE” (w/Dr. C.S. Hyatt; 1988) “THE AKASHIC RECORD PLAYER” (1988) “ALL RITES REVERSED” (1987) “ANGEL TECH” (1985)

FILMS AND VIDEOS (on DVD) verticalpool.com/dvd.html “THE BOOK OF JANE” (2013; 117 min.) “DREAMBODY/EARTHBODY” (2012; 80 min.) “FLAMINGOS” (2012; 90 min.) “TO DREAM OF FALLING UPWARDS” (2011; 130 min.) “8 CIRCUITS OF CONSCIOUSNESS” (2009; 87 min.) “THE INVISIBLE FOREST” (2008; 111 min) “THE MIND IS A LIAR AND A WHORE” (2007; 92 min) “THE GREATER CIRCULATION” (2005; 93 min.) “ORPHANS OF DELIRIUM” (2004; 84 min.) “UNDER A SHIPWRECKED MOON” (2003; 96 min.) “HYSTERIA” (2002; 83 min.) “TRAGOS” (2001; 105 min.) “ROADKILL” (2000; 27 min.) “LOADED VISIONS: VIDEOPOEMS” (2000; 74 min.) “CRUX” (1999; 80 min.) “LILY IN LIMBO” (1996; 27 min.) “THE DRIVETIME” (1995; 88 min.) “ARCHAIC COMMUNITY” (1991; 77 min.) Complete list of Vertical Pool products:

verticalpool.com/store.html

“Integrity has no need of rules.” — Albert Camus

Table of Contents Section 1: THEOREM “What Is This Book?” “Children of the Revolution” “The Circuits: Leary, Wilson, & Alli” “Metaprogramming” “Paratheatre”

Section 2: PRAXIS Week One: System Overview Week Two: Circuits 1 and 5 Week Three: Circuits 2 and 6 Week Four: Circuits 3 and 7 Week Five: Circuits 4 and 8 Week Six: Chapel Perilous Week Seven: Progress Evaluation and Week Eight: Review

Section 3: FORUM Q & A Featuring inquiries from those who completed the Praxis Course

Section 4: HOW I GOT THIS WAY “A Neurological Autobiography” “The Eight-Circuit Brain Interview” “The Magus and the Mystic” “The Cosmic Trigger Effect” Artist Credits Suggested Reading

Section 1: THEOREM “What Is This Book?” “Children of the Revolution” “The Circuits: Leary, Wilson, & Alli” “Metaprogramming” “Paratheatre”

“What Is This Book?” WHAT IT’S NOT This is not a self-improvement book. Self-improvement is a lie. You cannot improve who you are; you already are who you are. You are not some kind of apprentice to yourself who will someday, with enough “self-improvement,” become the real you. It is too late for that. You already are who you are. You can wake up to this truth and do the work to realize and embody who you are or, you can nod out trying to improve this thing called “self”, whatever that is. This is not a “new age” book of masked, soft-core Christian morals or any other foo foo philosophy of the next big 12-step program to enlightenment. You will not find any answers here to life’s big questions or any magical key to unlock the Grand Unified Field Theory That Explains Everything. WHAT IT IS This book advances the material of my first book Angel Tech (Falcon Press, 1986), which tested and applied Dr. Timothy Leary’s 8-Circuit Brain model through a heady mix of exercises, esoteric meditations, and rituals. After twenty-plus years of research and experimentation it was time to update my earlier findings and present this new body of work. This book has guts, a heart, and a mind. The guts can be found in the PRAXIS section, which presents an 8week course of study and practice using the 8-Circuit model. The mind resides in the THEOREM section where you can ruminate on this model’s basic ideas and principles. The heart and soul are hiding in the back section, HOW I GOT THIS WAY, where you can discover the open experiment I have made of myself. As a bonus, I have also included the FORUM section featuring a comprehensive Q&A between some of those enrolled in the Spring 2009 online “Angel Tech” course (sponsored by Maybe Logic Academy and me). maybelogic.org Last, but not least, this book is about you. The 8-Circuit Brain amounts to an empty vehicle ready for its test drive or a space suit hanging in useless repose until launch time. It is nothing without you. Whatever this book says may not be as important as how its words and images act on you, the ideas it spurs in your mind, the feelings it arouses in your heart, and the actions these internal events inspire. At the end of the day it may not matter how much we know or

think we know, as much as how honestly we have lived our lives and how openly we have loved, and been loved by, those who matter to us. This book is a labor of love and a gift to those who put it to use. — Antero Alli, 24 August 2009, Berkeley, California

“Children of the Revolution” “We Soared, We Crashed, We Burnt Out, We’re Tuning Back In” We are all walking through the pages of our own stories every day, stories that intersect the stories of others, dead and alive, as chapters in the larger Book of Life. If you are friends with writers, your story will probably end up in their writings or in their books some day, whether you like it or not. Even if you have never met the author of a book or read the book itself, your story is probably already captured. This happens all the time. And no matter how much certain authors write from their own personal experience, they cannot help but also reveal the greater truths innate to the collective milieu we are all expressions of. Some of these writers seem to have built-in broadband antennae for picking up those signals and decoding them for the rest of us— Timothy Leary was one of these big antennae writers. Larger collective shifts have ways of grabbing our personal lives by the scruff of the neck and tossing us about as if we were plastic action figure replicas of ourselves. Sometimes these greater forces erupt from deep within our own genetic make-up and shock us with diseases unexpectedly inherited from our ancestors. Other times, we get lucky and the chaos gods of the zeitgeist decide it’s our turn to win the lottery. Or when Aphrodite Love comes to town and turns our lives upside down in the name of Polymorphous Rapture. These “outside shocks” can be humbling to any naive ego still in denial of the objective truths (and shocks) of Ecstasy, Uncertainty, Indivisibility, and Impermanence. Thanks to Dr. Leary’s 8-Circuit Brain model I learned to see these shocks as activation points for what he calls fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth circuits, respectively. As it turns out, we all have antennas to pick up the big signals. We have only to learn how to unwrap them from ourselves, our self-absorption, and point them outwards again. In video-blogger Brian Shields’ interview with Lisa Ferguson (2/8/2009, Timothy Leary reunion party, 111 Minna Gallery, S.F.), she shares a startling message from Leary himself, spoken to her personally three days before his death. “We were right,” he told her, “all the ideas and dreams we had back

then, we were right. It’s time to tune back in.” Lisa took his message to heart as a boost to complete her documentary film, Children of the Revolution. Inspired by her own Millbrook childhood stories where her baby-sitters were none other than Tim Leary, Ralph Metzner, and Richard Alpert (Ram Dass), the film also features interviews with other sixties’ luminaries and what they are tuning into today. Watch for it! Those who were not alive to witness or participate in the sixties cultural revolution firsthand may feel a sense of having missed out on something important and/or harbor the more cynical belief that the world is worse off thanks to the Baby Boomers’ self-indulgent delusions of entitlement that got us into the mess we’re in today. As with many polarized views, the truth often lies somewhere in between. It is now well documented that the American media and government created and maintained the illusion that the sixties were a failed experiment in drug abuse, sexual debauchery and impossible utopian ideals. And in one sense they were right. Millions in this cultural experiment soared, crashed, burnt out and lost all perspective by pursuing overly inflated, narcissistic visions of changing the world with more peace, love, sex and LSD. I can only assume that most utopian visions fail from apathy due to a lack of the consistent self-discipline necessary to embody the vision and “become the change we want to see in the world.” Any full-blown spiritual event, with or without LSD, can naturally expose the futility of self-centered beliefs and the illusion of ego. In a naive attempt to preserve spiritual revelation, many egotrashing dogmas were created. Taken to heart, any anti-ego hippie belief can easily lead to a “why bother?” apathy masked by a “just mellow out and go with the flow” fatalism. As it turns out, a strong flexible ego is necessary to manifest our innermost dreams in the external world at large. Any attempt to hold onto a dream, without the self-work to embody it, keeps that dream alive in the mind alone. We become legends in our own minds. In the sixties, LSD opened up millions of minds and more specifically, millions of third eyes (sixth circuit). With all that synapse-popping electromagnetic energy charging up all those nervous systems, sex became the most direct outlet to anchor hallucinogenic psychic experiences in the body. The psychedelic cultural revolution also catalyzed the equally potent fifth circuit somatic hedonism in the sixties’ sexual revolution. LSD does not make us horny; the circuit six psychic intelligence that LSD

activates makes us horny. The sixties were not a failed experiment. The sixties wrote the first chapter in the post-atomic bomb era of how culture transforms itself starting at the level of the individual. In this justifiably self-centered chapter, for all new beginnings naturally start with unbridled self-discovery, an all-encompassing epiphany of self-awareness explodes in the brain and exposes the nature of reality itself. This event can easily overwhelm the existing means to contextualize, use, and apply this knowledge, especially if we are spiritually starved and cannot stop eating the fruit from the tree of cosmic knowledge. This is what happened in the sixties. We ate, we got laid back, we talked and dreamt of future societies and then, we ate some more and talked some more; we ate and talked and got more laid back. The more forbidden fruit we ate, the more our minds expanded and the more enflamed our search for what it all meant—ad infinitum, ad nauseum. The use of LSD and other psychoactive agents not only shocks the ego with exposure to the void but also shocks the very core of our being with a direct experience of void as true nature, who we are at essence, a stunning revelation brought to collective consciousness centuries ago by Gautama Buddha and given collective context through the creation of various schools of Buddhist meditation practice, doctrine and dogma. Buddhism saw a sudden expansion in the west during the sixties for this very reason—it provided a context through which to live with the expanded states of consciousness brought about by LSD. We must also credit philosopher Alan Watts for simplifying the more complex principles of traditional Buddhism for the western mind. Though it is not yet fully accepted, I believe that Timothy Leary will eventually earn the status of the MVP (Most Valuable Philosopher) of the 20th Century. Like other great philosophers before him, it’s reasonable to assume that his seminal contribution may take forty or fifty years to find its true collective and cultural context. Even though Leary indirectly turned (literally) millions of people onto LSD, that phenomenon was clearly beyond his control. LSD was not his central contribution. His seminal offering would be his Eight-Circuit Brain model, a user-friendly grid designed for anyone exploring higher consciousness as a means not merely to get high, but to design and create new contexts for their lives. At the heart of the 8-Circuit Brain model we find the two most important questions any self-aware person can ask:

1) What is intelligence? 2) According to your definition, how would you increase this intelligence? I first encountered Leary’s Eight-Circuit model in Robert Anton Wilson’s groundbreaking book, Cosmic Trigger. Leary’s grid struck me with awesome potential. Here was a way of redefining intelligence through eight different yet related modalities that—when fully absorbed, integrated and transmitted— might increase one’s intelligence; picture eight brains in a neurological clusterfuck of Eternal Humming Delight. Staggered by this vision, I was inspired to begin experimenting with ways to actualize Leary’s theories in a more reality-based metaphysics by drawing on my own background in theatre, ritual, and meditation (see “A Neurological Autobiography”; HOW I GOT THIS WAY). Berkeley, CA, 1979–1982. During one of Robert Anton Wilson’s many Discordian Salons, I shared with him my passion for Leary’s system. I told him I’d like to write a book about it and apply my background in theatre to create rituals to help activate these “circuits” for the reader. Bob laughed and said it was a great idea. He then proceeded to tell me that he was writing a book along similar lines called Prometheus Rising and that it might be the most important book he had written so far. I sat there dumbfounded as Bob’s gaze shifted away from me and towards his good friend, Greg Hill (author, Principia Discordia) who winked back at him. The Famous Published Author was writing his next masterpiece while an unknown theatre rat was in the wings scribbling notes for his, as of yet, unwritten and unpublished first book. A confusion of emotions. How could I feel so self-important and completely insignificant at the same time? Operation mindfuck was in full swing. I went home that night and started reading Leary’s book, Exo-Psychology. About seventy pages in, Circuit 3 intellect stuttered and choked before it finally shut down. Information Overdose! So many theories, so little application. If I can’t apply knowledge in some way, it feels useless to me. For all of Leary’s brilliance and innovation, I was annoyed by what felt like a serious imbalance between theory and praxis. I asked Bob about this and he said “people might understand Tim better if they knew his nickname during his Harvard days: Theory Leary; he had reams and reams of them.” I

decided that my book had to include numerous ways to substantiate a more direct experience of what these “circuits” symbolized. Direct experience trumps the armchair philosophy of abstract rationalizations. The Dogma of Direct Experience. I found my new dogma, though I didn’t know it was a dogma back then. Dogmas can be like that. Four years later, Prometheus Rising is published. Bob’s encyclopedic funhouse genius advances Leary’s theories by linking them to a web of isomorphic systems, memes, and paradigms like Quantum Mechanics, B.F. Skinner’s Behaviorism, Korzybski’s Semantics, Sarfatti’s Superluminal Physics, Alan Watts’ Zen, Freud, Rattray Taylor’s Patrist/Matrist Sociology, Toffler’s Third Wave. Bob also broke the Theory Leary barrier by slyly inserting a series of tasks, word games, and exercises aimed at triggering a more direct experience of the circuits. In this book, Bob begins the advancement of Leary’s theories for the postmodern Western nervous system. Bob’s breakthrough also meant that in writing my book I had to carry the ball further into terra incognita, and descend deeper into the flesh and blood embodiment of these ideas and memes. There was already enough talk about it, maybe too much talk. Though Timothy Leary is publicly credited with the creation of the EightCircuit Brain model, he actually did not originate it but popularized his own updated version of an ancient Eastern spiritual code and practice. In the preface of his 1976 book, What Does WoMan Want?, Dr. Leary explains how “Professor Adams,” a Hindu scholar from Rutgers University, arrived at his Milbrook estate in the early sixties and initiated him to an esoteric praxis of the Hindu Chakra System. Dr. Leary fully assimilated this new teaching by replacing “chakra” with the modern term “circuit” and adding Western scientific ideas plus recent breakthroughs in Genetics and Quantum Physics towards the transmission of his opus, Exo-Psychology (Starseed Press; updated to Info-Psychology, Falcon Press). The ancient yoga of the Hindu Chakra system aims at trans-substantiating consciousness through the energy centers aligned with the spinal column and brain. From the coarsest, densest and slowest vibrational frequencies of the Muladhara root chakra (the coccyx) to the most refined, subtle and fastest vibrations of the Sahasrara crown chakra (the skullcap), a vertical pathway was meticulously mapped out many centuries ago infusing a priori status to the

crown chakra as a final resting place for “The Enlightened.” Through years of meditation and yoga practice, the yogi or yogini learns to ignite the fiery kundalini coiled in the root chakra. When activated, its white-hot liquid fire pulses and blissfully hisses its way up the spinal column, burning through each chakra on its serpentine path to the crown where it explodes into a “thousandpetaled lotus,” a luminous fountainhead of cosmic consciousness, establishing spiritual Guru status for the aspiring yogi. This Eastern process of trans-substantiation fixates consciousness beyond the finite domain of the physical body towards communion with The Infinite and sanctions a disembodied spirituality in the Guru/Sunyasin traditions. The Guru’s expansive presence magnetizes scores of devotees who act as his “anchors” in the material world to assist the business of daily survival and to act as vessels for his vision, message and spiritual presence. A deep symbiotic bond develops as a mutually embraced dependency; the guru needs disciples as much as the disciples need the guru. Examples include Da Free John, Rajneesh (Osho), Mutkananda, Maharaji Ji, and many others. Far from these Eastern religious traditions of trans-substantiation, western classical mythology points to the wily Titan Prometheus who steals fire from chief god, Zeus and gives it away to mortals for their personal use. This “stealing fire from the gods” story also appears in Native American tribal dreams and myths. According to the Cherokees, when Possum and Buzzard failed to steal fire, Grandmother Spider used her web to steal the fire, hiding it in a clay pot. Fire was also stolen and given to humans by Coyote, Beaver, or Dog. In Creek lore, Rabbit stole fire from the Weasels. Timothy Leary was a Coyote figure who embodied the promethean mythos when he stole the fire from the Eastern gods and passed it on to the materialistic, rebellious Western mind. Besides updating archaic terms to postmodern scientific terminologies, Leary bridged the Eastern bias of trans-substantiation to the Wild West substantiation bias of materialization of energies. He did this by basing his very definition of intelligence on a dynamic process of absorbing, integrating and transmitting information and/or energy, a process reflecting the tertiary function of the most basic unit of biological intelligence, the neuron. Leary also suggested that consciousness could evolve itself by the absorption, integration and transmission of one’s experience through eight functions of Intelligence, as

symbolized by the Eight-Circuit Brain model. Leary goes on to suggest that intelligence can remain latent or repressed to the degree it is not fully integrated or, interpreted through the context and truth of one’s own direct experience, i.e., according to each Central Nervous System. Absorbing data or experience alone cannot advance intelligence. Who will know how intelligent we are until we have integrated our experiences enough to articulate them? When this trinary principle of—Absorb, Integrate and Transmit—is applied to all eight functions of Intelligence, the implications are unfathomable. What infuses this model with mystery and magick is its function as an empty vehicle awaiting the living presence of the user, that’s you dear reader, to define your terms according to how your own Central Nervous System absorbs, integrates, and transmits your experiences. I view perceptions as gambles. This outlook encourages my intuition to take flight and not be too weighed down by the quest for rock solid certitudes, proofs or dogmas. Though some perceptions can be very seductive and express very strident tendencies, I still prefer to view them as tendencies. This reminds me of something Robert Anton Wilson used to say: “The future is up for grabs. It’s too late for anything but Magick.” I think what he meant by this was what Joseph Campbell suggested years earlier when he said, “The best was to predict the future is to create it.” The future does not belong to those who predict it; the future belongs to those who create it. And to create, we need energy. We need energy to revolt and to subvert whatever has been undermining our innate integrity, autonomy, and authority. To do this, we must summon the courage to expose and bypass the sources of oppression and power loss in our lives. In doing so we restore and expand our capacity for direct experience—our true source of integrity, autonomy, and authority. This is also the overall arching aim of this book: to encourage and challenge your integrity, autonomy, and authority. It’s too late for any generalized analysis of the human condition. The world is burning and the planet is alive and well. The planet does not need saving. We need saving; we need saving from ourselves. It is time for the resurrection of the energetic body to regenerate the power for dreaming ourselves awake. The future has already happened. The future is now. Spread the word. Prometheus has risen. Life itself is the guru.

“The Circuits: Leary, Wilson, & Alli”

Here we begin the review of the 8-Circuit model as it has developed through the processes of three very different individuals—Leary the theoretical philosopher, Wilson the social scientist, and Alli the esoteric ritualist. All three approaches reflect the distinct biases of their interpreters and each one offers a valuable and unique contribution to the whole. Timothy Leary’s theories on the 8-Circuit Brain underwent a series of changes and adjustments that he published in several obscure booklets before arriving at his 1977 opus, Exo-Psychology (later updated to Info-Psychology). In 1983, Robert Anton Wilson’s Prometheus Rising stayed true to Leary’s basic ideas but linked them to a web of isomorphic systems, memes, and paradigms while introducing a series of exercises the reader could perform to activate the circuits themselves. In 1985, my book Angel Tech bypassed the theoretical route almost entirely by plunging the reader into immersive experiences such as designing your own Tarot, performing rituals, and doing psychic meditations, to directly engage states of consciousness symbolized by the circuits. Beginning with Leary, moving through Wilson, and ending with Alli, the Eight-Circuit Brain undergoes its evolution from abstract theorem into embodied existential praxis. We turn now to the following distillation of Leary’s interpretations of the eight circuits in his own words and turns of phrase.

Part 1: TIMOTHY LEARY “There is no death. Death is a Circuit Three symbol for fear. When the body stops functioning, consciousness advances to the nervous system where it belonged all the time. When the nervous system stops functioning then, consciousness goes home (via the neuron cell) to the DNA genetic code where it belongs.” — Timothy Leary 1. The Bio-survival Circuit is concerned with the earliest modes of survival and separation of objects and events into either harmful or safe. This circuit is said to have first appeared in the earliest evolution of the invertebrate brain. It is the first to be activated in an infant’s mind with the mother imprint. This circuit introduces a one-dimensional perception: forward and backward (i.e., forward towards food, nourishment and what is trusted as safe, and backwards away from danger, toxicity and predators). The oral stage from Freudian Psychology. 2. The Emotional Circuit expresses raw emotion and the separation of behavior into submissive and dominant. This circuit appeared first in vertebrate animals. In humans, it is activated when the child learns to walk. This circuit introduces a second dimension, up-down, linked with territorial politics and tribal power games (as in swelling body in size to represent dominance, and down, as in the cowering, tail-between-the-legs submission. The anal stage from Freudian Psychology. 3. The Symbolic Circuit; concerned with logic and symbolic thought. This circuit first appeared when hominids started differentiating from the rest of the primates. This circuit introduces the third dimension, left and right, related to the development of dexterous movement and handling “artifacts,” speech, writing, making maps in the mind. 4. The Socio-Sexual Domestic Circuit. This circuit is concerned with operating within social networks and the transmission of culture across time. This circuit is said to have first appeared with the development of tribes. This fourth circuit deals with moral-social/sexual tribal rules passed through

generations and introduced the fourth dimension of time. 5. The Neurosomatic Circuit is the first of the right-brain, “higher” circuits usually inactive in most humans. It allows one to see things in multidimensional space instead of the 4 dimensions of Euclidean space-time. It is said to have first appeared with the development of leisure-class civilizations around 2000 BC. It is associated with hedonism and eroticism. 6. The Neuroelectric Circuit is concerned with the mind becoming aware of itself independent of the patterns imprinted by the previous five circuits; also called “metaprogramming.” This circuit enables telepathic communication that is impossible to explain to those who have only left-brain activity. It is said to have appeared in 500 BC, in connection with the Silk Road. 7. The Neurogenetic Circuit allows access to the genetic memory contained in DNA. It is connected to memories of past lives, the Akashic Records, and the collective unconscious. This circuit first appeared among Hindu groups in the early first millennium and later reappeared in Sufi sects at the end of the first millennium (ca. 9th century). 8. The Neuroatomic Circuit allows access to the intergalactic consciousness that predates life in the universe (characterized as the Godhead, the Overmind). It lets humans operate outside of space-time and the constraints of relativity, and tunes the brain into the non-local quantum communication system suggested by physicists such as Bohm, Walker, Sarfatti, Bell, etc. Israel Regardie compared this to the Buddhist concept of Indra’s Net. Note: Leary claimed that this model explained the social conflict in the 1960’s where the mainstream of circuit 4 tribal moralists clashed with the counterculturists, the circuit 5 individualists and hedonists.

Part 2: ROBERT ANTON WILSON “Intelligence is the capacity to receive, decode and transmit information efficiently. Stupidity is blockage of this process at any point. Bigotry, ideologies etc. block the ability to receive; robotic reality-tunnels block the ability to decode or integrate new signals; censorship blocks transmission.” — Robert Anton Wilson Robert Anton Wilson and Timothy Leary were good friends whose written correspondences of letters will hopefully be published someday soon. Though Wilson remained true to Leary’s original circuit definitions as presented in Exo-Psychology, his contribution also included finding correlations between the circuits and Armenian philosopher and dance master Georges I. Gurdjieff’s work with the Law of Octaves and “vibration numbers” (later transposed into music by composer/pianist Thomas de Hartmann). The following parallels between these two systems are excerpted from Wilson’s second most popular book, Cosmic Trigger: Gurdjieff and the 8-Circuit Brain Vibration Numbers and Levels of Consciousness: 384 Movement Center—Circuit 1 Invertebrate reality 192 False Emotional Center—Circuit 2 Mammalian reality 96 False Intellectual Center—Circuit 3 Paleolithic reality 48 False Personality—Circuit 4 Civilized reality 24 Magnetic Center—Circuit 5 Hedonic reality 12 True Emotional Center—Circuit 6 Psionic reality 6 True Intellectual Center—Circuit 7 Immortal reality 3 The Essence—Circuit 8 Cosmic reality Bob Wilson’s encyclopedic brain continued to discover a myriad of additional contexts through which to grasp the 8-Circuit model. With great wit, humor and fearless audacity, Wilson wove the threads of Quantum Mechanics, Behaviorism, Semantics, Superluminal Physics, Zen, Freud, Sociology, and Political Science into a mind-boggling tapestry of how the circuits work. This complexity was distilled down to a series of “Winner” and “Loser” scripts

assigned to each circuit based on the degree each circuit was integrated or not; winners integrate, losers disintegrate. Wilson also includes some of Leary’s earlier drug references as “circuit catalysts.” In the end, Wilson advanced Leary’s theories by linking them with previously established philosophical, mathematical, psychological and social methodologies. What Leary initiated in abstract thought, Wilson remained loyal to while significantly expanding it to multiple systems theory. 1) The Bio-survival Circuit (Consciousness) Imprinted in infancy, concerned with suckling, nourishment, cuddling, biosecurity, etc. The imprinting of this circuit sets up the basic attitude of trust or suspicion that will last for life. First activated when a human being is born, and programs perception onto an either-or grid, divided into nurturing-helpful and noxious-dangerous (approach/accept vs. flight/flee). Leary thinks that this circuit is stimulated by opioid drugs. This circuit is said to have appeared in the earliest evolution of invertebrate brain. Winner Script: I will live forever, or die trying Loser Script: I don’t know how to defend myself 2) The Emotional-Territorial Circuit (Ego) Imprinted in the toddling stage, concerned with territorial demands, emotional power tactics, political domination and submission strategies etc. The first imprint on this circuit identifies the stimuli that will automatically trigger dominant, aggressive behavior or submissive, cooperative behavior. This circuit is activated with abundant quantities of alcohol. This circuit probably appeared first in vertebrate animals. Winner Script: I am free; you are free; we can have our separate trips or we can have the same trip. Loser Script: They all intimidate me. 3) Time-Binding Semantic (Dexterity-Symbolism) Circuit (Mind) Imprinted by human artifacts and symbol systems. Concerned with handling the environment, invention, calculation, prediction, building a “map” of the universe etc. If the environment is stimulating to the third circuit, the child takes a “bright” imprint and becomes dexterous and articulate. If the

environment is made of stupid people, the child takes a “dumb” imprint i.e., remains more or less at a 5-year old stage of artifact clumsiness and symbol blindness. Caffeine, speed, cocaine and high-protein diet activate this circuit. This circuit supposedly appeared first when hominids started differentiating from the rest of the primates. Winner Script: I am learning more about everything, including how to learn more. Loser Script: I can’t solve my problems. 4) The Socio-Sexual Circuit (Adult Personality) Imprinted by the first orgasm-mating experiences and tribal “morals.” Concerned with sexual pleasure, local definitions of “moral” and “immoral,” reproduction, nurture of the young etc. This circuit is basically concerned with operating within social networks and the transmission of culture across time. While Leary did not associate a drug with this circuit, some have hypothesized that oxytocin or MDMA might activate this circuit. This circuit is said to have first appeared with the development of tribes. Winner Script: Love, and do what thou wilt. Loser Script: Everything I like is illegal, immoral or fattening. (I wanna get laid but I feel guilty). 5) The Neurosomatic Circuit Concerned with neurological-somatic feedback, feeling high, somatic reprogramming etc. There is a marked shift from linear visual space to allencompassing sensory space. A hedonic turn-on occurs, a rapturous amusement, a detachment from the previously compulsive mechanism of the first four circuits. This circuit is stimulated by ecstatic experiences via physiological effects of Chemical yogas, tantra, hatha yoga and free fall. Leary describes that this circuit first appeared with the development of leisure-class civilizations around 2000 BC. Winner Script: How I feel depends on my neurological know-how. Loser Script: I can’t help the way I feel. 6) The Neuroelectric (Metaprogramming) Circuit Concerned with re-imprinting and reprogramming all earlier circuits, relativity

of “realities” perceived, cybernetic consciousness etc. The sixth circuit consists of the nervous system becoming aware of itself. Leary says this circuit enables telepathic communication and associates it with peyote and psilocybin. This circuit is traced by Leary back to 500 BC and he associates it with the Silk Road. Winner Script: I make my own coincidences, synchronicities, luck and Destiny. Loser Script: Why do I have such lousy luck? 7) The Neurogenetic (Morphogenetic) Circuit Concerned with evolutionary consciousness (past and future), DNA-RNAbrain feedback, Jung’s “Collective Unconscious,” etc. The first to achieve this mutation spoke of “memories of past lives,” “reincarnation,” “immortality,” etc. This circuit is stimulated by LSD, Raja Yoga etc. The circuit first appeared among the Hindus in the early first millennium and later reappeared among the Sufi sects. Winner Script: Future evolution depends on my decisions now. Loser Script: Evolution is blind and impersonal. 8) The Neuroatomic Circuit Concerned with Quantum Consciousness, non-local awareness (beyond spacetime), so-called PSI/magical powers, illumination, out-of-body experiences, astral projection, contact with alien entities (which does not specifically refer to creatures from outer space, but rather all beings) or with a galactic Overmind, etc. Some of the ways this circuit can get activated are shock, neardeath experience etc. This circuit has even been compared to the Buddhist concept of Indra’s Net from the Avatamsuka Sutra (which we discussed a while ago). Leary associated Ketamine and DMT with this circuit. Winner Script: In the province of the mind, what is believed true is true, or becomes true within the limits to be learned by experience and experiment. Loser Script: I am not psychic, and I doubt that anyone else is.

Note from Bob Wilson to Tim Leary Courtesy of Leary Futique Trust TimothyLeary.org

Part 3: ANTERO ALLI I’m not one of those people with their heads in the clouds; I’m one of those whose entire body has been consumed by the clouds. — Antero Alli With my background in writing and directing for theatre and paratheatre (see “Paratheatre” in this THEOREM section), my approach leans heavily towards engaging a more embodied experience of the states of consciousness the circuits symbolize. Another difference between my respected predecessors and me can be seen in my overall ego-positive bias. Leary’s and Wilson’s bias towards the first four circuits was ambivalent at best and often negatively referenced with terms like “the robot” and “domesticated apes,” whereas I suggest that we “make friends with the robot” and initiate a more positive image of the body, the ego, and our basic survival needs and habits. In a section of Angel Tech called “Mechanical Problems”, I present my analysis of how the first four circuits can break down and how they can be fixed. Wilson’s concept of Chapel Perilous, introduced in Cosmic Trigger, is played forward in Angel Tech’s chapter on sermons for lost souls. The upper circuits are given full experiential treatment while raising the entertainment value in charisma training, designing your own tarot, psychic trance meditations, an astrology primer, and rituals invoking the aboriginal dreamtime. What Leary initiated as Primary Idea and Wilson expanded into Interconnected Systems, I have ventured to bring home to the senses as direct firsthand experience. In the book you are reading now, you will find new ideas and applications for specific ways the upper and lower circuits act on each other (referred to hereafter as “verticality” and “vertical connectivities”) and notes on the distinct nature of outside shocks as they relate to upper circuit activations. Also included are new extrapolations of my early theories on Chapel Perilous featuring new rituals and other devices for escape. THE SURVIVAL CIRCUITS: FIXATIONS AND ANCHORS The first four “survival circuits” are driven by variations of the primary will to survive. Fixations refer to any concentration and investment of consciousness in those experiences that activate a given circuit. Fixation also demonstrates

how consciousness gets fixed, or “stuck,” in one circuit over others by overemphasis. Anchors refer to how a circuit has been integrated by the degree it acts as a stabilizing influence for absorbing and integrating shocks from the upper circuits (more on “Shocks and Anchors” in Week One of PRAXIS). C-1 Physio-Biological Intelligence; the will to survive fixations: food, shelter, self-preservation, material goods, safety and security anchor: degree of physical confidence earned and maintained to assure biological survival C-2 Emotional-Territorial Intelligence; the will to power fixations: territoriality, status, control, ego-strength, emotional honesty anchor: degree of emotional confidence earned and maintained to assure personal worth C-3 Symbolic-Conceptual Intelligence; the will to reason fixations: thinking, problem solving, analysis, semantics, talking anchor: degree of mental confidence earned and maintained to solve daily problems C-4 Social-Moral Intelligence; the will to socialize fixations: friends, domestication, courtship, tribal identity, ethics, religion anchor: degree of social confidence earned and maintained to form bonds with others POST-SURVIVAL CIRCUITS: CATALYSTS AND SHOCKS Catalysts refer to whatever triggers, stimulates and activates each of the upper four circuits. Shocks refer to specific impacts any activated upper circuit has on the lower circuits. Upper circuit shocks stimulate growth and evolution in their corresponding survival circuits—5 & 1, 6 & 2, 7 & 3, and 8 & 4. C-5 Somatic Intelligence of Body Wisdom Catalysts: whatever triggers the experience of rapture, communion with nature, tantra (yoga, meditation, ritual), charisma, second wind, falling in love (endorphins) and the expanding presence of simply

being here now. The Shocks of Ecstasy, Bliss, and Happiness (absence of suffering) C-6 Intuitive-Psychic Intelligence of the Brain, Spine, & CNS Catalysts: whatever triggers the experience of awakening the energetic body or aura, the second attention, intuition, clairvoyance and other psychic abilities, ritual magick, reality selection, direct perception of the relative nature of reality. The Shocks of Uncertainty and Freedom (absence of self-investment and dogmatic certitudes) C-7 Mytho-Poetic Genetic Intelligence of DNA and Gaia Catalysts: whatever triggers the experience of synchronicity, ancestral and past life memories, archetypes, planetary (Gaia) mind, cosmic consciousness. The Shocks of Indivisibility and Cosmic Unity (absence of dualistic mind and experience) C-8 Quantum-Nonlocal Intelligence of Subatomic Interactions Catalysts: whatever triggers near death events, out of body experiences, the dreambody/dreamtime continuum, experience of Void as true nature, and the singularity at the heart of subatomic activity. The Shocks of Death and Impermanence (absence of ego-identification and the release from physical body) HOW INTELLIGENCE CAN BE INCREASED All eight functions of Intelligence can be accessed through any experience allowing for the absorption, integration and transmission of each level. Developing alternative terms for this tertiary process is encouraged, i.e., receive, digest, eliminate; experience, process, communicate; study, interpret, articulate. All three stages are necessary for the advancement of intelligence. If you only absorb, nothing is integrated; if nothing can be integrated, we regurgitate and parrot whatever we’re absorbing. Each of the eight levels expresses its own innate way in which this 3-stage process occurs, i.e., C-2 emotional truths do not follow the same “laws” as C-3 reasoning and visa versa. THE VERTICALITY FACTOR All of the eight circuits exist within each individual at various degrees of expression and latency. They can be viewed and approached in a linear

sequential “evolutionary” way and/or in a nonlinear “radial” way; both vantages carry value. Any assumptions that presume one circuit as “better” or “worse,” or “higher” or “lower” than any other, usually indicate unconscious intellectual or moral biases that can limit greater Self-access. The circuits in this system symbolize simultaneously existing states of consciousness interacting and working together as a dynamic changing whole. To view any circuit in a hierarchical way can also perpetuate the insidious emotional plague, a term coined by Dr. Wilhelm Reich for the psychological syndrome marked by irrational insistence on beliefs and ideas that depend on dissociation of mind from body (also see Circuit Two Feature Article, “The Emotional Plague”; PRAXIS). Though there are countless ways in which all eight functions interact with and act on each other, we will focus on specific two-way vertical connections between the first four “survival” circuits and the second four “post-survival” circuits. We will discover how the upper circuit experiences act on the lower circuit experiences as “shocks” and how the lower circuits act on the upper circuits as stabilizing “anchors” that allow for greater absorption and integration of those shocks. This process obviously cannot be fully grasped in one sitting or reading and requires much firsthand experience of how their dynamics play out according to your own CNS. For now, it will be enough to memorize the following combination of pairs:

1 & 5, 2 & 6, 3 & 7, 4 & 8 Without a supple and resilient foundation of lower circuit integration, any significant force of expanded consciousness from circuits 5–8 can destabilize our physical, emotional, conceptual, and/or social survival. Once the bottom four survival circuits can be more fully experienced, integrated, and embodied, they are better poised to act as “shock absorbers.” Shocks arriving through the upper four post-survival circuits act to stimulate growth and development in the survival circuits, just as the survival circuits (once integrated) can help substantiate and “ground” the more ephemeral and subtle states symbolized by circuits five through eight. By tending to these specific verticalities of upper circuit shocks and lower circuit anchors (1/5, 2/6, 3/7, 4/8), the 8-Circuit Brain model can offer safer and more creative ways to expand consciousness and increase intelligence.

THE NATURE AND FUNCTION OF “SHOCK” How we respond to real life shocks often determines the degree our experience turns negative or positive, painful or joyous, destructive or creative, good or bad. Is it possible that shocks themselves are neither bad nor good but neutral by nature? To assume that shocks are not neutral but always negative or positive suggests a bi-polar universe that is either out to get us and burn us—the negatively inflated paranoid bias—or out to bless us and make us prosper—the positively inflated messianic bias. Though both of these biases have their place in human life, I think they also express self-delusion. If we value a choice-centered life of increasing autonomy and selfresponsibility, how we respond to shock may be more important and have more lasting value than any initial shock itself. Hereafter the term “responsibility” will be revised as response-ability or, our ability to respond. In context to the 8-Circuit model, shocks are only “shocking” to the degree of naiveté we show around the presence of the objective truths of ECSTASY, UNCERTAINTY, INDIVISIBILITY, and IMPERMANENCE (corresponding to circuit five through eight, respectively). Ecstasy expresses our most natural state of being when unburdened by the anxiety, over-thinking, and guilt complexes resulting from unsolved survival circuit problems. Uncertainty refers to the truly unpredictable nature of life, of not knowing what will happen next, as a liberating and highly creative state. Indivisibility expresses the experience following a dissolution of arbitrary divisions, revealing the basic unity shared between all life forms. Impermanence means all things pass; everything alive eventually dies. Real life shocks are innate to Life and can happen anywhere, anytime and to anybody; nobody is exempt. Examples include sudden housing eviction, falling in love, getting fired from work, marriage, divorce, childbirth, parenting, loss of loved ones, natural disasters, sudden kundalini activations, sudden death of parents and children, unexpected financial windfalls, terrorist attacks, any move of residence, police arrest, incarceration, big employment promotions, social betrayals, family reunions and disintegrations, automobile accidents, hospitalization, surgery, spiritual epiphanies, heart attacks, strokes, epistemological crisis, heroic doses of magic mushroom; the list goes on & on… Shocks can act as turning points for Self-initiation. When the separatist ego

engages in any direct confrontation with the archetype of the Self, it tends to respond in one of two ways. The ego either realizes its honest place as a substratum of a larger reality, humbles down and becomes receptive (not the same as passive or submissive), or it denies and defies the existence of a greater reality and succumbs to hubris, arrogance, and ignorance. The receptive ego tends to become more flexible in the face of greater realities and shocks, while the inflated ego tends to become more resistant and brittle in the face of greater realities and shocks. Regardless of which path we take, real life continues delivering shocks; nobody is exempt. The differences between these two paths—of greater receptivity or greater resistance—may be measured by the quality of life and the quantity of stress each direction produces at the end of the day. As more outside shocks are absorbed, integrated and put to work (applied and transformed), we become as initiates—men and women of power—capable of transmitting initiatic shock to others, if we so desire. Some of us undergo this Self-initiation process instinctively without any conscious plan or knowledge, while others approach it on purpose. Either way, when outside shocks are absorbed, integrated, and put to work, we are transformed by the transmission of their presence through us. CHAOS AS AN EVOLUTIONARY TRIGGER Shocks come in basically two forms: inside and outside. Inside shocks are shocks we can administer ourselves. For example, by choosing to intentionally inconvenience ourselves amidst daily activities, we can give ourselves small shocks to our habitual routines and go against the grain of habit by altering the expected. Any way that we are able to shock ourselves constitutes an “inside shock.” Implementing inside shocks can encourage more ego flexibility to help us navigate the influx of greater forces catalyzed by outside shocks. Any inner or outer-oriented shock results in some degree of chaos, which excites an internal emergency state triggering our senses to open up and gather more information to assure survival—physical, emotional, conceptual and/or social survival. Any state that triggers an experience of chaos tends to get our full attention. Chaos acts as an evolutionary trigger that dilates perception to the naturally incomprehensible complexity—the chaos—of the brain itself. Chaos accelerates perception of uncertainty by temporarily breaking down mental

fixations and certitudes. A sudden escalation of chaos can also occur in smaller ways, such as when we are emotionally upset, or momentarily lose physical balance, or are socially thrown into embarrassment, or become mentally bewildered. All of these states offer fluid opportunities for shifting to higher levels of functioning, if that’s what we want. It’s not the shock that’s important but how we respond to the shock that dictates what happens next. However, there is only so much we can do by our own efforts alone. With the right attitude, outside shocks can provide deeper opportunities for more long lasting change if we are willing and able to respond according to our most creative intentions. For example, the shock of impermanence can arrive with the sudden death of a loved one, which can either immobilize us for the rest of our lives or, given our full commitment to respond, can catalyze deeper gratitude for the existing bonds shared with the living. As our awareness of uncertainty increases, the shape of the ego, or self-image, wobbles. We may experience ourselves as more fluid, volatile, and unstable than before. In a state of chaos the organism naturally wants to open up to new sources of information, directives, and values. For any new direction to take hold, it must be maintained with applied effort and a supportive environment. “Set and setting” as Dr. Leary would say. Any newly emergent values or directions also need to be strengthened by challenges to test their mettle and integrity. In these ways, chaos and shock initiate highly creative states that provide opportunities for conscious evolution, given our full commitment to respond. With enough commitment, imagination and will, these creative conditions can also guide us into a sixth circuit process that John C. Lilly called “metaprogramming.”

“Metaprogramming” When the Self-Aware Brain Programs Itself “In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true is true or becomes true, within certain limits to be found experientially and experimentally. These limits are further beliefs to be transcended. In the mind, there are no limits.” — John C. Lilly “All human beings, all persons who reach adulthood in the world today, are programmed biocomputers. None of us can escape our own nature as programmable entities. Literally, each of us may be our programs, nothing more, nothing less. Despite the great varieties of programs available, most of us have a limited set of programs. Some of these are built in. In the simpler forms of life the programs were mostly built in from genetic codes to fully formed adult reproducing organisms. The patterns of function, of action reaction were determined by necessities of survival, of adaptation to slow environmental changes and of passing on the code to descendants. Eventually the cerebral cortex appeared as an expanding new high-level computer controlling the structurally lower levels of the nervous system, the lower built-in programs. For the first time learning and its faster adaptation to a rapidly changing environment began to appear. Further, as this new cortex expanded over several millions of years, a critical size cortex was reached. At this level of structure, a new capability emerged: learning to learn.” — John C. Lilly, Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer In his 1966 book, Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer, John C. Lilly outlines a scientific approach to reprogramming the human nervous system with the use of LSD and isolation float tank therapy, research that would later branch out to his interspecies communication

projects with dolphins. Lilly coined the term “metaprogramming” to reference a process wherein the self-aware central nervous system learns to redefine, instruct, and reimprint itself. Lilly’s (sixth circuit) insight saw beyond the mere capacity to learn, memorize and repeat data input and/or routines of activity. He perceived the underlying psychic infrastructure of how learning actually happens, how we learn to learn, and how we learn new ways to keep learning. This one insight seriously expanded the playing field of consciousness research—a major turning point that was not lost on Timothy Leary and his 8-Circuit Brain model. Leary uses the term “imprint vulnerability” throughout his writings on the 8Circuit Brain to refer to a profoundly malleable and dangerously open state of the psyche capable of being imprinted with new patterns and habits of behavior, thinking and belief. Leary discovered that imprint vulnerability occurred during the peak of any strong dose of LSD, a brief time when new patterns and programs could be introduced with highly therapeutic, life-changing results. His book The Psychedelic Experience: A Manual Based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead (co-authored with Richard Alpert and Ralph Metzner) was written as a detailed guide for those using LSD in this way to imprint positive life changes. Here’s an excerpt from “First Bardo: The Period Of Ego-Loss Or Non-Game Ecstasy”: Liberation is the nervous system devoid of mental-conceptual activity. Realization of the Voidness, the Unbecome, the Unborn, the Unmade, the Unformed, implies Buddhahood, Perfect Enlightenment—the state of the divine mind of the Buddha. If the subject is prepared to diagnose the symptoms of ego loss, he needs no outside help at this point. Not only should the person about to give up his ego be able to diagnose the symptoms as they come, one by one, but he should also be able to recognize the Clear Light without being set face to face with it by another person. If the person fails to recognize and accept the onset of ego loss, he may complain of strange bodily symptoms. This shows that he has not reached a liberated state. Then the guide or friend should explain the symptoms as indicating the onset of ego loss. Here is a list of commonly reported physical sensations:

1. Bodily pressure, which Tibetans call earth-sinking-into-water 2. Clammy coldness followed by feverish heat, what Tibetans call watersinking-into-fire 3. Body disintegrating or blown to atoms, what Tibetans called fire-sinkinginto-air 4. Pressure on head and ears, which Americans call rocket-launching-intospace 5. Tingling in extremities 6. Feelings of body melting or flowing as if wax 7. Nausea 8. Trembling or shaking, beginning in pelvic regions and spreading up torso These above physical reactions should be recognized as signs heralding transcendence. Avoid treating them as symptoms of illness, accept them, merge with them, enjoy them. IMPRINTING VS. CONDITIONING The terms “imprinting” and “conditioning” refer to very different yet related events. During imprint vulnerability existing ego structures become more fluid, malleable and open to the new impressions and imprints. Imprint shock can happen whenever we are exposed to any direct experience of very high levels of Ecstasy, Uncertainty, Indivisibility and Impermanence, ‘outside shocks’ that also activate circuits 5–8, respectively. Any of these exposures can destabilize us physically, emotionally, conceptually, and socially (circuits 1–4) until we respond—become responsible—and make the necessary adjustments to restore balance and begin functioning at higher levels than before the destabilization of our reality structures. Imprinting and conditioning express different stages of metaprogramming, a process used to redefine oneself in accordance with the direct experience of our most innate truths, rather than the “truths” defined by inherited programs hammered into us since birth. By programs, I mean family and religious moral codes, sociological and educational conditioning, and whatever values, ideas, and beliefs were passively absorbed from teachers, books, media and society at large. By innate truths, I mean our most honest and truthful responses according to the natural sensitivity and responses of our CNS to any stimuli, input or experience. Define yourself or be defined.

Imprinting differs from conditioning—the latter perpetuates whatever repetitive actions, affirmations, routines, and programs become necessary to maintain and preserve a given imprint over time or that attempts to combat, defuse, and break down a given imprint as with “brain-washing” and other deprogramming techniques. Examples of outside shocks that trigger imprint vulnerability: pregnancy, childbirth (for all infants and first-time parents), the first sexual mating experience, the first loss of a loved one to sudden death, the first achievement of objective or worldly success. Metaprogramming is an attribute of the integrated sixth circuit. The degree to which any awakened CNS is absorbing, integrating, and transmitting neuroelectric signals originating in itself, may be the degree the “self-aware brain” perceives, manages, and regulates its own reality. As more sixth circuit processes and attributes are experienced and integrated—second attention, premonition, precognition, intuition—sixth circuit transmission can give rise to many so-called psychic abilities such as telepathy, clairvoyance, psychokinesis, clairaudience, remote viewing, and other psychic linking capacities for connecting C-6 adepts with each other. Set, Setting and Leary’s Upper Circuit Bias Timothy Leary applied the 8-Circuit model as a metaprogramming tool with the psychotherapeutic use of LSD, where his famous theory of “set and setting” was put to test. “Set” meant the mindset each user brought to the experience and includes their thoughts, beliefs, feelings, attitudes, moods, and whatever psychological complexes they may be attempting to gain insight into or free themselves of. The “setting” refers to the actual physical and social environment where the LSD trip occurs. The setting can include music and art supplies but more importantly, a trusted guide who is not on LSD and who remains present for the duration of the trip as an optional source of spiritual and social support. The LSD experience itself is profoundly influenced by the specific elements of the set and setting. In this LSD-based context, Leary clearly exalted the upper four circuits over the lower four circuits, reflecting his later negative bias towards lower circuit realities. This bias imposes a hierarchy of values between upper and lower circuits that I find troublesome in its hidden assumption of a split between body and spirit, between our daily survival priorities and the promise of postsurvival adventures. This is where my own bias departs from Leary’s and

Wilson’s. My ongoing experimentation with the 8-CB model continues to demonstrate how lower circuit integration proves essential for safer and more creative upper circuit experience through specific vertical connections between circuits 1 and 5, 2 and 6, 3 and 7, 4 and 8. I have come to call this position an embodiment bias. The Embodiment Bias I have found the 8-CB model especially useful in its capacity for tracking and pinpointing where experience and intelligence may be lacking or absent. Used in this way, the grid can expose the limits of our existing knowledge and our ignorance—prerequisites for any serious inquiry into the nature of intelligence. As effective as the 8-Circuit model can be as a diagnostic, it falls way short as a treatment procedure. If we lack direct experience of the states of consciousness the eight circuits represent, nothing can be truly integrated. The grid becomes an armchair philosophy at best while we run the risk of becoming inflated legends in our own minds. My ongoing experimentations with metaprogramming have been mostly applied in the non-drug context of paratheatre, a unique ritual technology for Self-initiation. Here, I occasionally reference the circuits as a diagnostic grid to measure the degree of my access to the eight functions of intelligence, their various dimensions of experience and the internal landscape in general. The crux of this ritual technology, what I call No-Form, refers to a Zazen practice that can act as a catalyst for approaching imprint vulnerability (see the following chapter, “Paratheatre” and also the Circuit Five Feature Article, “The No-Form Technique”). Beyond my early use of LSD, peyote and psilocybin (1967–1977), my primary catalysts for approaching imprint vulnerability have been twofold: organic and synthesized. My synthetic knowledge of metaprogramming has been shaped by the self-work achieved in group paratheatre experiments since 1977. My organic knowledge of metaprogramming comes through responding to the shocks and traumas that Life itself unexpectedly delivers, events that result in heightened states of uncertainty and expanded awareness of impermanence. Imprint vulnerability can also follow any significant destabilizaton of the ego structure and its disconnect from the habitual routines that maintain its illusion of reality. Imprint vulnerability expresses a malleable and naked openness in the central nervous system, temporarily freed from social conditioning, that

becomes capable of being deeply impressed with new patterns and programs.

“Paratheatre” Towards a Ritual Technology for Self-initiation “Why do we sacrifice so much energy to our art? Not in order to teach others but to learn with them what our existence, our organism, our personal and unrepeatable experience have to give us; to learn to break down the barriers which surround us and to free ourselves from the breaks which hold us back, from the lies about ourselves which we manufacture daily for ourselves and for others; to destroy the limitations caused by our ignorance and lack of courage; in short, to fill the emptiness in us: to fulfill ourselves.” — Jerzy Grotowski, from Statement of Principles The term “paratheatre” was coined by the late Polish theatre director, Jerzy Grotowski (Aug. 11, 1933–Jan. 14, 1999), to address a phase of his group work executed indoors and in the forests of Poland between 1970 and 1978. If you saw Louis Malle’s unique film, My Dinner with Andre, this work is often mentioned by Andre Gregory whose firsthand experience of Grotowski’s paratheatre transformed his life. Generally speaking, paratheatre refers to a private, non-performance oriented physical process of group dynamics often involving rigorous kinetic and vocal exercises and techniques. Without any audience, the external pressures to perform are released and replaced by the self-created pressures of performing actions with total commitment towards the transformation and refinement of the human instrument. The No-Form Technique Since Grotowski himself claimed no legacy of paratheatre, the term “paratheatre” (like the term “theatre”), continues being redefined and updated to serve the various contexts of its many practitioners. The paratheatre medium I have been developing with others since 1977 introduces an asocial approach to group ritual dynamics that implements techniques of physical theatre, dance, song, and standing Zazen meditation. Though inspired by Grotowski, I do not fashion my work after him nor do I aspire to replicate his process. Probably the most significant departure of my paratheatre is the consistent use of a standing meditation posture I call “No-Form”, a technique

that begins and ends each and every ritual experiment in this process-driven approach to accessing and embodying the internal landscape. No-Form is the crux of this ritual technology for Self-initiation (see Circuit Five Feature Article, “The No-Form Technique”; PRAXIS). Without NoForm, this paratheatre medium can degenerate into pretension, play-acting, theatrical improvisation, and empty rituals. No-Form authenticates selfexpression by the receptivity it brings to engaging vital sources of energy in the body itself. With ongoing practice, No-Form can enable enough internal receptivity to access the living forces and realities symbolized by the eight circuits and enable their expression through somatic ritual processes. The quality and depth of these rituals, however, depends largely on the degree of personal commitment to No-Form AND to the four-phase physical warm-up process that precedes these rituals. Between feeling the body deeply (in the physical warm-up) and being nothing (via No-Form), a full spectrum of experience is initiated. For the purpose of this Eight-Circuit Brain course (starting with Week Two, Circuit Five; PRAXIS), this ritual technology has been adjusted to accommodate solo work. No previous experience in theatre, dance, ritual or meditation is required for the solo paratheatre work presented in this course. “Gifted actors find by instinct how to tap and radiate certain powers; but they would be astonished if it were revealed that these powers, which have their material trajectory by and in the organs, actually exist, for they never realized that these sources of energy actually exist in their own bodies, in their organs.” — Antonin Artaud The Contact Point From the state of No-Form any quality or force can be accessed through an existing contact point. The contact point is wherever direct, intuitive absorption of a particular energetic state is already happening; one has only to locate it. It already exists in the body as a source of energy. This is an important point to grasp, as the qualities and energies explored in this medium are not always of the imagination or a product of the mind. Our biology emanates a complexity of energy dynamics most of which, like the organs

themselves, cannot be seen yet remain vital to the organism as a whole. These energy sources express faster frequencies and emanations of their denser manifestations in the physical glands and organs themselves. The contact point can also be discovered outside of the physical body in the auric field enveloping the physical body. Take the element of Fire, for example. The energy of Fire already exists within us as electrical impulses; we do not need to pretend or make it up. By cultivating enough internal receptivity through the No-Form technique, we can detect its current within and let it expand from its initial contact point throughout the rest of the body. If you can allow this current to infuse your receptive state with its quality, color and intensity, you can discover how the energy itself guides the direction, rather than the personal will or ego. This subtle process requires that we relax the desire to control and direct the energy. By creating space for its expression within us (via No-Form), we can be impressed and moved by whatever energetic state or condition we choose to access and express. In this way we gain firsthand knowledge of the forces we are working with, which reflects the primary aim of this Eight-Circuit Brain course in PRAXIS: Self-access. This orientation takes practice and is nurtured by the authenticity of one’s No-Form state; the deeper the No-Form, the deeper we can be impressed and moved by a given force or state through the contact point. NOTE: This paratheatre medium is not derived from or related to Wicca, Gardnerian Magick, Crowley, O.T.O., Golden Dawn, Voodun, or Santeria. Since the archetype of The Self plays a pivotal role in this medium, it might parallel the workings of Austin Spare (who some consider the “grandfather of Chaos Magick”) and the writings of Carl Gustav Jung. This ritual technology is documented in my book, Towards an Archeology of the Soul and in several DVD’s at verticalpool.com/paratheatre.html. For more information and paratheatrical research updates: paratheatrical.com

Section 2: PRAXIS The Eight-Circuit Brain Course of Advanced Studies and Application

CAVEAT EMPTOR This section was designed with the intention of real-time application of the Eight-Circuit Brain through experiments of direct experience. If this is not your intention, you may wish to skip this section. Or, if you wish, enter anyway and proceed as a tourist. Either way, consider yourself warned. Fnord.

Week One: System Overview “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” — Philip K. Dick This course offers a reality-based curriculum for direct experience of the energies, states of being and real-life conditions that the eight circuits symbolize. The “real” course material emerges from the existing conditions of your inner and outer lives. The meditations, rituals and tasks in this course were designed as tools to assist these processes. If you experience frustration or boredom with these techniques, you are encouraged to view frustration and boredom as breakthroughs ready to happen, given your readiness to apply more commitment to the task at hand. The quality of your results can be measured by the depth and degree of your commitment—what you get out of this course depends on what you put into it. As of this writing (September 2009), this course has been taken by approximately 200 self-motivated individuals over a three-year period via an interactive online format sponsored by Maybe Logic Academy (maybelogic.org). Since then, this course has undergone considerable development and refinement before arriving at its current print version. Angel Tech (Original Falcon Press, 1986) was the source book for the online course. Though this current course can be taken without Angel Tech, some may wish to have it on hand as a reference; the troubleshooting chapter, “Mechanical Problems” (pp. 63–124; Angel Tech) may be especially useful when confronting problems that may arise for those who actually do this course. You can choose to do this course in whatever time frame you wish, however, I suggest setting an eight-week schedule. I have found that an eight-week period creates just enough pressure to minimize procrastination and maintain vital momentum. The first six weeks of this course include specific reading assignments and the all-important tasks and rituals for accessing the states of consciousness that the eight circuits symbolize. If you actually do the assigned tasks, you may notice a saturation point of information and experience around week Three or Four. If this happens, I suggest completing only those weekly tasks and rituals that resonate and/or mean the most to you at that time. The

final two weeks are intentionally void of new assignments, providing extra time to backtrack and catch up to speed with missed and uncompleted work. Though you are essentially doing this course for yourself, interaction with others on the same journey can be very useful. This kind of feedback and dialogue can be accomplished in several ways: 1) locate and organize a group of two or more like-minded, self-motivated individuals with a copy of Angel Tech and this book, 2) set up an online internet forum template structured for an eight-week timeline, OR 3) hold weekly in-person group meetings to discuss your processes, problems, and weekly progress. In the future I may train individuals as qualified instructors of this course. As of this writing I have not trained anyone to teach this course. Depending upon my availability, I can offer instructive course feedback at varying rates of payment. For details about my potential participation contact me at: verticalpool.com or paratheatrical.com

“The transition to a higher neural circuit—is often accompanied by considerable anxiety or a turbulence in personal life which seems as if the organism were falling apart or breaking up. This phenomenon of instability is really the way that every living organism —societies, human primates, chemical solutions, etc.—shakes itself, as it were, by myoclonisms or similar convulsions into new combinations and permutations for higher and new levels of development.” — Dr. Israel Regardie, from the Introduction to Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson ON DEFINING OUR TERMS Welcome to Week One, the ideational stage of this course. The workload of this week is fairly light with a primary focus on reading, conceptualizing and writing down your preliminary interpretations of the circuits. The pace picks up in Week Two through Week Five when you are engaging the circuits in real time through tasks, rituals, meditations, and exercises. These task-heavy weeks can require up to eight hours per week of your commitment. If you do the actual work, you will get actual results. If you conceptualize the work, you will get conceptual results. Discerning the difference reflects an ongoing theme in this course and indicates how effective your B.S. detector can be (B.S. also

stands for Belief Systems). COURSE TEXT READINGS Reread “The Circuits: Leary, Wilson, & Alli” in the THEOREM section. If you have Angel Tech, read pages 1–9 and pages 15–22. If you do not have a copy of Angel Tech, fret not. You can get by with the reading material in this book (or you can purchase Angel Tech at verticalpool.com or through The Original Falcon Press at originalfalcon.com). THE LAB BOOK You will need a Lab Book to record your experiments and research results. Delineate sections in your book to each circuit for easy reference and future access. Though you can use a computer to record your results, I strongly suggest the tactile immediacy of an actual (physical) blank book and pen to record your research results; to each their own. WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1: Define Intelligence Define intelligence in your own words. Now, according to your definition, how would you go about increasing intelligence? WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2: Defining the Circuits After studying this week’s reading material on circuit definitions, find your own words to define what each circuit means to you at this time, not in the general sense, but in a way that is personal to you. Keep it simple and direct. If you don’t know what to write, leave it blank or signify it with a question mark (?). Define these circuits as you know them now with the idea that your definitions will probably change. Example: 3rd circuit (figuring things out, speaking my mind, etc.), 4th circuit (how I behave around others, my personality, etc.), 5th circuit (getting high, being here now, bliss) and so on… WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3: Circuit Evaluations On a scale of 1–10 (with 1 representing the least experience and integration and 10 representing the most), evaluate the degree of access you have to each of the eight circuits. These numbers start the mapping process to track your development over these eight weeks, i.e., C-1/3, C-2/2, C-3/8, C-4/6, C-5/7, C-6/3, C-7/1, C-8/0. THE THREE SUB-PHASES

The term “circuit” refers to any conduit or medium capable of absorbing, integrating and transmitting information and/or energy. I am not attached to the word “circuit”; if you like, choose another word that suits your semantic sensibilities. For our references here, I will sometimes abbreviate the circuits as C-1, C-2, C-3, etc. In this 8-CB model, intelligence can be increased by the absorption, integration, and transmission of whatever experience is innate to each circuit. Any neglect or denial of the second stage of INTEGRATION can frustrate consciousness from advancing through that circuit. The second integration stage determines whether or not intelligence can actually be increased through our Physical, Emotional, Conceptual, Social, Somatic, Psychic, Mythogenetic, and Quantum Nonlocal experiences. For example, without C-3 integration (thinking for yourself) we can fall into the trap of parroting the thinking, writing, and talking styles of friends, teachers, authors and whatever mass media is selling us. If the word “integration” means nothing to you, choose another word that means the same thing. Though you will be assigned reading material in this course and from Angel Tech, your chief source material will not come from a book or anything you read. It will arrive fresh from your own direct experience of how you personally absorb, integrate and express the energies and states of consciousness innate to each circuit. As you continue testing and trusting your own firsthand experience, it can eventually become a more reliable source of personal integrity, authority and autonomy—the overall purpose of this course. Treadmilling: Getting Stuck in a Circuit Consciousness gets snagged or stuck in a circuit in several ways. Treadmilling can occur by: 1) any failure to sufficiently integrate your experience, 2) any lack of communication from not linking experiences with others, 3) any excessive inertia from absorbing more data than there is time or energy to assimilate and communicate. Generally speaking, consciousness remains fixated in a circuit until that circuit’s distinct priorities and conditions can be fully absorbed, integrated, and expressed. Integration cannot be overemphasized; whatever cannot be digested becomes constipated. As each circuit integrates, it is not left behind as “something we have overcome and are done with.” There are no final arrivals or graduations. Each integrated circuit serves the greater changing whole of who we are becoming.

HIERARCHY ALERT! All eight circuits will be presented in this course as equal in value. If and when you encounter any fixed idea of hierarchy within yourself—assuming any one circuit as better or more superior than another—examine this hierarchy bias more closely. For example, look for any intellectual, social, and/or religious morals and dogmas that have defined “the body” as inferior to “the spirit” or “the mind.” This split can lead to the faulty assumption that the first four circuits are “inferior” to the upper four circuits, a fatal error in judgment responsible for the two-thousand-year emotional plague (more on this in Circuit Two). As this course progresses you will discover how the bottom four survival circuits, and the realities they represent, are crucial to laying down the foundation for a safer and more creative exploration of the four post-survival circuits. To fly higher, plant both feet firmly on the ground. SHOCKS AND ANCHORS Once you discover which circuits carry a negative bias—either inherited (other people’s ideas) or learned (by overreacting to your own personal traumas)—you can begin defusing their negative charge yourself. We will examine how each of the upper four circuits acts as a specific kind of shock to stimulate development and evolution in the lower circuits by the exposure of specific needs. When real needs are exposed, they usually find ways to be met; unseen, repressed or buried needs create frustration. When the specific needs of each lower circuit are met, these circuits can then act as stabilizing anchors for realizing upper circuit experiences in the body. If the lower circuits are not integrated enough, they may fail to effectively absorb the upper circuit shocks of (5) Ecstasy, (6) Uncertainty, (7) Indivisibility, and (8) Impermanence. Without lower circuit integration, these shocks can cause various degrees of over-stimulation, scattered and fragmented attention, dispersion of energy, anxiety and fear, depression, obsessive behavior, unconscious aggression and hostility, etc. This is why integration of the first four circuits is crucial to a safer and more creative approach to the expanded consciousness symbolized by circuits five through eight and why, in this course, we will be working with all the circuits in these specific couplings: 1 & 5, 2 & 6, 3 & 7, 4 & 8. The Lower Four Circuits as anchors and specific needs

1st circuit anchor of Security; the need for physical shelter, safety, food, comfort 2nd circuit anchor of Power; the need for control, status, emotional honesty, personal territory 3rd circuit anchor of Sanity; the need for learning, thinking, solving problems, communicating 4th circuit anchor of Belonging; the need for friendship, love, sexual identity, community, ethics The Upper Four Circuits as shocks and catalysts 5th circuit shock of Ecstasy and Bliss (pain-free somatic rapture) 6th circuit shock of Uncertainty and Freedom (innate autonomy) 7th circuit shock of Indivisibility and Synchronicity (unity) 8th circuit shock of Impermanence and Death (nonlocality) SYMPTOMS OF VERTICAL DISCONNECT When any of the first four survival circuits lose contact with their higher “shocking” circuit, we begin to suffer loss of context, or sense of purpose, in our lives. First circuit pursued for its own sake—living for comfort, safety, and food—can result in a fear-based, low energy life enslaved by exaggerated security needs; “nothing is ever enough.” This can also lead to obesity and/or bulimia, shopping addictions, and a packrat fetish for collecting too many useless things. Second circuit vertical disconnect can manifest in many forms of power loss, emotional soap opera antics, a compulsion to control everything, a loss of humor, and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Symptoms of a third circuit vertical disconnect include over-thinking, claustrophobia, anxiety, hyper-literalist outlook, imagination death, and an overwhelming sense of alienation. When the fourth circuit social life is pursued as an end in itself we can manifest endlessly circuitous social activity, personal trivialization, gossip mongering, loss of individuality to herd trends, over-identification with impersonal social and religious moralities and the persistent compulsion to “be right” all the time. For more information on

these vertical disconnect symptoms, please refer to your own firsthand experiences when making any one of the first four circuits an end unto itself.

Week Two: Circuits 1 and 5 Mutual reception of biological safety and somatic rapture

“The Body is the only part of ourselves always in present time.” — Antero Alli, Angel Tech

Circuit One Feature Article

Nine Tips for a Healthier Diet Compiled and tested by Antero Alli 1. Hydration Water is essential for physical survival and optimal brain function. The brain is made up of 60% water and requires sufficient hydration to maintain memory and swift processing of information. Don’t leave hydration to the sense of thirst alone; the ability to notice thirst typically diminishes with age. The amount of water required depends on each person’s physiology and daily activity. Experiment with water. 2. Eat high-fiber foods Fruits, vegetables, beans, and whole grains (organic when possible). These are the “good” carbohydrates—nutritious, filling, and relatively low in calories. They act to slow the absorption of carbohydrates, so there’s less influence on insulin and blood sugar. 3. Adopt a diet rich in antioxidants Helps to relieve fatigue and boost exercise endurance in healthy individuals. Antioxidants can be found in green, red, orange, yellow and blue fruits and vegetables—blueberries, broccoli, spinach, carrots, cantaloupe, tomatoes, red grapes, and citrus fruits. 4. Limit intake of sugary foods Refined-grain products such as white bread and snack foods. Many sugary foods are also high in fat and are calorie-dense. 5. Reduce animal fat Avoid all trans fats and margarine. Choose lean meats, skinless poultry, and nonfat or low-fat dairy products (though whole milk products provide an excellent calcium source for women). 6. Eat more fish and nuts Contains high levels of protein and healthy unsaturated fats & omega 3 oils. Black cod (butterfish) and wild salmon may be two of the healthiest foods for

the human body. 7. Eat less In recent years serving sizes have ballooned in restaurants. Many of us have ballooned in weight and size by naively eating more than we actually need. 8. Maintain an adequate calcium intake Calcium is essential for strong bones and teeth. If you can’t get the optimal amount from foods, take supplements. 9. Exercise and weight control Balance energy (calories) intake with energy output. Exercise and other physical activity are essential to burn calories. Take in more calories than you need for energy, and the extra calories are stored for fat. Most people require no more than 2000 calories a day. Note: A daily intake of 12 ounces of soda (160–200 calories) can add up to 16 pounds over the course of a year.

The Eight-Circuit Brain Course

Week Two: Circuits 1 and 5 Mutual reception of biological safety and somatic rapture Course Text Readings: If you have Angel Tech, read pages 34–40 and 141–147 this week but replace the word “gear” with your own term for “circuit,” i.e., consciousness, trance, state, etc. If you prefer to continue using the word “circuit,” that’s OK, too. If you don’t own a copy of Angel Tech, you can get by with the reading material supplied here. Writing Assignment #1: First Circuit Fear & Safety a) Write about any real time experiences you have had with actual threat and fear, as opposed to “perceived threat and fear.” Explain your perceptions of their differences, if any b) Write about what you have done, either by reflex and/or intention, to restore a sense of safety in the face of any real or perceived threat Writing Assignment #2: Circuit 5 Rapture and Aesthetics a) Write about any real time experiences that brought you to a state of genuine rapture. b) Write about any person, location, work of art or music, scene in a film, or special moment that demonstrated exquisite beauty according to your aesthetic tastes. Notes on Quality and Commitment The sheer number of assignments, tasks, and rituals offered in the following five weeks can seem daunting at first, especially if you add them all up together. Taken one at a time, however, you have only to do the ones that you are actually willing and able to do, given the limitations of your existing schedules, commitment and energy. The quality of your results won’t be measured as much by how many assignments, tasks, and rituals you do but by your degree of commitment and attention invested in the ones you actually engage in and complete. The quality of results matters more than the quantity. The final two weeks of this course are set aside to catch up on assignments we missed and/or wish to return to and complete.

The C-1/C-5 Vertical Connection: An Overview C-1 survival pursued for its own sake can lead to a dead end life of ceaseless security fixations and futile attempts to impose control over an ever-changing universe. This compulsive habit pattern demonstrates excessive security addiction and a loss of C-1/C-5 verticality. When C-1/C-5 verticality is restored, the fulfillment of our physical survival needs can act as a foundation for pursuing the C-5 post-survival incentives of more leisure time, personal happiness and whatever gets us high. When we get too high, we can anchor (or ground) ourselves through any number of C-1 activities and routines—wash the dishes, do the laundry, fix dinner, etc. C-1: THE SELF-COMMITMENT CONTRACT Our most basic and urgent survival needs for food (& water), protection and shelter stem from our earliest infant vulnerability that knows that if we are not fed, protected, and sheltered, we will die. Though in later life the details of these core needs will differ for each adult, C-1 will remain unintegrated as long as we refuse to meet these needs ourselves. If you fail to meet these needs, they will be met by the Mommy Women and Daddy Men or Governments or Prisons or Re-Habs or any Institutions more committed to your physical survival than you are. Look at commitment as a force, as in the force of your commitment. C-1 work begins with whatever increases the heat and force of your self-commitment. The worldly manifestation of your dreams, goals, ambitions, and aspirations requires tremendous commitment; the greater the dream, the greater the self-

commitment required to realize it. Self-commitment means not bailing on, or abandoning, yourself in the face of difficulty, ridicule or disappointment. It means that you dare to stand firm by your side, no matter what Life throws your way. Establishing a bond of self-commitment amounts to a contract of trust between the Adult and the Child within you. The healthy Child expresses the most vulnerable, creative, and honest part of us that naturally responds with timidity, fear, and terror in the face of any real threat, embarrassment, ridicule, or heartbreaking disappointment. The healthy Adult expresses the tougher, most responsible and caring part of us that naturally responds with protective love when the Child feels threatened. This self-commitment contract must be initiated by the Adult. It begins by facing the Child, as the Adult, and firmly and without wavering communicating the following vow (use your own words, if you wish): No matter how afraid, embarrassed, or threatened you feel, I will not abandon you. I will protect you. I have your back. I am here for you. When spoken simply and directly as a process of self-communication, these words—and more essentially the intent behind them—are no mere ‘new age’ affirmation. These are words of power when spoken and followed through with commitment and action. They can also become words of self-betrayal if the Adult bails and abandons the Child. If this happens, you have only to make it up to the Child to earn your trust back, again. Consistency matters to the Child. If you betray this trust and don’t do anything about it, the Child remains afraid and your creativity diminishes. This is not a game; this is a measure of your self-commitment. Commitment takes commitment. Any fear or dread of fully committing yourself can be traced back to C-1 integrity loss and the wavering intent to fully commit to your own survival on this planet. Stop; take a look around. How much do you really want to be here? Your most honest response is called for. For our purposes here, the term “integrity” will be interchangeable with 100% commitment. Wherever we are committed less than 100%, we suffer

integrity loss. I understand this definition may seem extreme to any cyber-relativist commitment phobes who still live in their heads. I am not anti-intellectual. C-3 is not the problem; like all the other circuits, it awaits conscious evolutionary advancement through its absorption, integration and transmission. However, as long as C-3 remains naive to our most basic C-1 needs and realities, our daily lives can easily become trivialized by the circuitous looping action of an overly complicating and often over-educated Monkey Mind (more on this in Circuit Three). Hereafter, the term “commitment” refers to a living force that, once discovered, can be increased and applied to almost any area in our lives requiring more follow-through and integrity. C-1: FEELING THE BODY DEEPLY Beyond securing food and shelter, the physical body’s most central need is to be felt deeply. When this central need can be met with satisfaction, C-1 integration and transmission demonstrates itself as increased physical confidence. Lack of physical self-confidence can indicate a frustration of this central need. Examples of methods for FEELING THE BODY DEEPLY include: plenty of sex, Pilates, Yoga, fitness (weight) training, dancing, jogging, stretching the muscles, any cardiovascular exercise, walking, bike riding, kayaking, Martial Arts, boxing (pugilism), skiing, swimming, tennis, basketball, and overeating. All of these examples raise your cardiovascular rate and make you sweat. Overeating will eventually force you to feel your body deeply after you gain so much weight that you sweat and palpitate just to drag around the extra pounds wherever you go. Obesity is probably the least healthy way to feel the body deeply. As healthier options are pursued, C-1 becomes more receptive to the influx of pleasure shocks from C-5 endorphins and ecstasy. To meet the body’s central need, however, we must learn how to increase the heat and force of our self-commitment.

C-1 TASKS Note: The following C-1 Tasks can be applied in any sequence and on any day. The quality of your results will be determined by the degree of your self-honesty and the follow through of your commitment. Perform any of these tasks as many times as you need and record your results in your Lab Book. If you do not have time for all these tasks, choose the ones you can actually commit to and return to the others when you have time. OBJECTIVES The aim of doing these C-1 tasks is to increase the force of commitment and restore self-trust. A negative example: if you promise yourself you will do something that you personally approve of or want to do and then fail to follow through, you lose some self-trust. The more self-trust we lose, the more we fall back on a state of distrust, not only of ourselves but of others and the world. Self-trust can be restored by proving to yourself that you can follow through with the commitments you make. Follow-through does not mean doing something perfectly. Making honest mistakes and correcting ourselves can feed our integrity. Follow-through means doing something to the best of our ability. The overall objective of the following tasks is to rebuild C-1 integrity. C-1 Task #1: Locating an I.P. (The Integrity Point) Determine where, in the course of your daily life, you can say with total honesty “I can stand behind this 100%.” Call this area your I.P., your 100% integrity point. NOTE: an I.P. can be almost anything—your love for your dog, your favorite theory of everything, your car, your genitalia, your internet addiction, your God or Goddess, your morning cup of coffee. Your I.P. can even be your lack of commitment to anything (if you can stand behind your lack of commitment 100%). The I.P. acts as the high watermark of your selfcommitment. Throughout this course you will discover how your I.P. can also serve as a hidden source of power that can be redirected to other areas lacking commitment. Before that experiment, however, you must first locate an I.P. What or who can you can stand behind 100% without wavering? C-1 Task #2: The Salt Bath Ritual (approx. 20–40 min.) Draw a hot bath and add one to two cups Epsom salts (use approx. one cup salt

per 100 lb. body weight). Stir thoroughly, get naked and soak for fifteen to twenty minutes. During this soak allow yourself to become as physically passive as you can; slowly surrender to the experience. Remain conscious— don’t fall asleep—during this process. Don’t stay in the bath longer than 30 minutes. Afterwards, drain the tub and take a fresh water shower. Dry off and immediately enter a safe, dark place to lie down (secure this space beforehand so that nothing can interrupt you). Minimize external interference. Turn off the TV, radio, CD player, cell/telephone, etc. While lying down in this safe space, simply feel and listen to the biological processes of your own breathing, heartbeat, pulse, blood circulation, etc. If your thoughts beg for attention, return your awareness to your breathing. Watch your breath. If and when thoughts persist, simply say, “thinking” whenever you see a thought, or use any other mantra for relaxing C-3 chatter. Continue watching your breath. This rest period can be as long as you feel necessary and can even lead to sleep. The chief aim of the salt bath is to amplify a direct experience of pulsating biological intelligence after C-1 passive absorption. ALTERNATIVES TO SALT BATH RITUAL (for those with no access to a bathtub): 1) Ask a friend if you can use their tub for half an hour (plus 30 minutes to lie down afterwards). 2) Rent an hour in an isolation float tank: floatation.com/wheretofloat.html C-1 Task #3: Rigor Mortis Junior (approx. 5–10 min.) 1) Lie flat on your back on the floor, mat or bed. 2) Gradually tense both feet at once until you cannot tense anymore, hold for a count of five and then release the tension in your feet. 3) Gradually tense your feet and legs together until you cannot tense anymore, hold for a count of five and then, release the tension. 4) Let the tension creep up from your feet into your legs and continue this process, section by section, up to and including your head until the tension reaches through your entire body, hold for five and release. NOTE: Do steps 1–4 gently; do not force it. Do not hold your breath. After

having undergone the full body tensing and release, continue lying on your back while slowly deepening your breathing. Find your own closure and write down the results. Remember to move through the tension slowly and gently so you do not create violent reactions in your body. Rigor Mortis Jr.: The Short Version (approx. 1–3 min.) Start the tension in the feet and let it creep up your ankles and legs slowly through your pelvis and up your torso and then, out each arm and into each hand and then, the neck, face and head. The entire process should last no longer than a minute or so. Hold the full body tension for a count of ten and then release. Be gentle; there’s no need here for violent physical reactions. C-1 Task #4: Stretch, Sweat & Cool Off (approx. 20 min.) 1) Wear clothes you can move freely in. For five uninterrupted minutes, stretch your muscles. Do this in your own way; proceed gently and slowly (if you already know yoga or other stretches from Pilates, Dance or Martial Arts, apply these). As you stretch, breathe into the muscles. Seek out areas in your body that you are either not feeling very much or feel numbness in and focus the stretching and breathing into these areas. Your objective in these five minutes is to feel the body deeply by stretching and breathing into the muscles. 2) After your 5-minute stretch, use the next five minutes to perform any physical activity that doesn’t cause you injury and achieves the result of raising enough heat in your body to break a sweat. Pace yourself. Five minutes can feel much longer to the body than it can to the mind. 3) After your 10-minute stretch and sweat session, take a 10-minute walk to cool down. C-1 Task #5: Applying the I.P. (approx. 10–15 min.) Choose any activity that you have habitually demonstrated low commitment to. Apply yourself to this activity and at some point, begin applying the force inherent to your I.P. to the task at hand. Begin tapping into this force towards increasing your commitment to this new task. Take a few moments to experiment with this. Note any differences between your previous efforts yourself to do this task and after applying the I.P. and its deeper, steadier force of commitment. Record your results in the Lab book. NOTE: Applying the I.P. can also work with those tasks in which high commitment is already

demonstrated and where you may wish to further excel. C-1 Task #6: The Three-course meal (approx. 45–90 min.) The aim of this task is to increase self-commitment by the care shown for feeding yourself. With or without a recipe or menu, decide on a three-course meal based on food that your body finds the most satisfying AND healthy; that’s right, satisfying AND healthy. For more information, ask your body. Visit the market and purchase all the necessary ingredients. Come home and prepare the dishes with as much love, attention and commitment as you can. Find the gratitude for what you have prepared and take your time eating your threecourse meal. WARNING: Performing C-1 tasks with full commitment can result in spontaneous C-5 rapture and bliss.

Circuit Five Feature Article

“The No-Form Technique” Gateway to the Internal Landscape True initiation does not require ritual to occur; it is a spiritual event. At best a ritual can act as a device or a tool to assist the expression and integration of genuine initiation—that which has never occurred to one before and for which one can never truly be prepared. The first initiation is Self-initiation—the exposure of oneself to oneself. This means to leave the self-conscious watcher behind and enter the circle of participation. Words…images…explanations all belong to the watcher. To the participant—experience is everything. The void is, as a rule, pointless to talk, think, or write about. Its very nature is not subject to categorization by ideas, images or anything conceptual mind is capable of creating. There are no security, status, symbolic, or social rewards given out for being nothing. Nobody wants to be a nobody. However, as all self-governing bodies eventually realize, real power (not control), real freedom (not ego-independence), and real creativity (not entertainment) stem from ongoing personal rapport with the formless, invisible sources behind all palpable, visible, and manifest effects. To continue interacting with void, we must find ways to refer to it and invite its presence. This state of potential energy will be referred to hereafter as No-Form. Think of No-Form as a concept-free zone and the degree of comfort you can feel for being nothing; for being nobody…for being nobody but yourself…for just being. In this medium No-Form is approached in a standing position, rather than the traditional Zazen sitting posture. The No-Form stance is a position for cultivating profound receptivity to vertical sources. Through this internal receptivity, we first become aware of this potential state and then with practice we eventually realize that we are not separate from it, but an expression of it. There is nothing to avoid; we are the void. Though No-Form can never truly be willed or summoned directly, the following conditions may prove conducive to its occurrence:

Internal and External Adjustments This technique can be first learned in any standing posture that supports vertical rest, as in standing with minimal effort. Certain physical adjustments can be made to increase support and balance while standing: 1) unlocking the knees, 2) widening the stance, 3) dropping the pelvis, 4) letting the spine drop relaxed and suspended, and 5) focusing on the exhale, allowing the inhale to come as a reflex. Eyes are either shut or open as a slit to minimize external stimuli. Once the physical mechanics of the No-Form stance are established, certain internal adjustments can support No-Form: 1) withdraw the attention from any identification with the external environment and reconnect it within, 2) relax the desire to control the outcome of the experience, 3) relax the desire to control, 4) relax the desire, 5) relax into the process of becoming or being nothing, and 6) be nothing. The Dual Function of No-Form Though this technique is borrowed from traditional sitting ZaZen meditation practice, it is not done for its own sake or for any type of spiritual attainment; no samadhi or enlightenment is sought here. It’s used as a tool or a bridge to a more direct experience of forces embedded in the physical and energetic bodies. Within this receptivity we can begin to detect, access, be impressed, and moved by their innate forces, resistances, and impulses. This technique will be introduced in this PRAXIS course as a means to access the states of consciousness symbolized by the eight circuits. The first function of No-Form is to “charge” the ritual. By approaching a state of profound internal receptivity, we can begin attuning to autonomous forces within us. At this point, we can approach a deepening immersion in their presence and an eventual surrender to their effects. This can occur by relaxing the desire to control the outcomes of these forces and allowing them instead to express through us in movement, sound, gesture, and action. This immersion and surrender process marks the initiatic stage of this ritual work. The second function of No-Form allows us to discharge the ritual by releasing attachment and identification with whatever forces, energies, or states of being were merged with during the immersion phase. By dis-identifying with these energies, our consciousness returns to our true nature of being nothing, of

being nobody but ourselves, free of the delusional tendencies common to ego identification with the psyche’s unconscious contents. Once we can extract our identification from these sources and energies, we can return to being nobody but ourselves; we are left with our integrity intact. In this second function, NoForm serves as a trance-dispersion device. These two functions of No-Form—to charge and to discharge the ritual— occur when we set apart time before and after each ritual immersion to stand in No-Form. As a consistent guideline, this technique supports a scrupulous approach to the ritual of Self-initiation, of accessing any state of being or force in the physical and energetic bodies towards their authentic expression in movement, sound, gesture, and action. Without the consistent application of the No-Form technique—before and after every ritual immersion—our work can easily corrupt and disperse into rote forms of play-acting, spectacle, and forced improvisation. As with the learning and mastering of any technique, only ongoing diligence and practice can bring success.

Circuit Five Rituals NOTE: Please do not ingest any external drugs, alcohol or psychoactive agents when doing these rituals, as they can distort the required natural sensitivity of the CNS and the brain’s own neuropharmacy of drugs for getting high. C-5 RITUAL #1: The Polarization Ritual (approx. 30–50 minutes) — Wear clothes you can move freely in — Have a bottle of drinking water with you — Eat a light protein meal one to two hours before doing the ritual — Do not attempt this under the influence of any drugs INTENT: 1) To access the forces of a ‘charged polarity’ in the Body 2) To balance these energies in the Body Step 1. The Charged Polarity List A charged polarity consists of any pair of opposite states that carry a strong positive charge (excitement) and a strong negative charge (resistance). Make a list of five to ten personally charged polarities. Feel free to borrow from or add to this list: masculine/feminine; strong/weak; order/chaos; nourishing/toxic; dominant/submissive; safety/danger; mercy/severity; triumph/defeat; victim/savior; precise/sloppy; dry/moist; reward/punishment;

repulsion/attraction; satiated/hungry; mechanical/spontaneous; joy/sorrow; creation/destruction; failure/success; intoxication/sobriety; love/fear; parent/child; fool/magus; freedom/oppression; dead/alive; uncertainty/certainty; resistance/nonresistance; deception/honesty; earth/air; water/fire; lack/abundance; young/old; beauty/ugliness; reason/intuition; head/gut; right/wrong; angelic/demonic; perfect/flawed; control/abandonment; exposure/shelter; sensitive/numb; acceptance/denial Step 2. Secure the ritual setting You will need floor space free of clutter of at least 10 feet by 10 feet. If there are large objects and furniture in the space, move them to the periphery. Do whatever you can to secure this space for at least an hour of uninterrupted time by yourself. Your first ritual task is to energetically own that space. Do this in your own way. Commit to any movements, sounds and/or activities that infuse the space with a greater presence of safety and solitude for you. You should

feel totally safe and alone in this space before doing the ritual. Step 3. The Physical Warm-Up Cycle The quality and the results of your ritual depend on the presence of safety and dominion you create for yourself and then, the commitment you show in meeting the following four objectives in your own way. Take five minutes to realize each of these four physical objectives for a 20-minute warm-up cycle dedicated to feeling your body deeply. A) STILLNESS Any posture allowing physical stillness and meditation B) FLEXING THE SPINE Find ways to render the spine more flexible C) STRETCH THE MUSCLES Breathe into muscles while stretching D) GENERATING HEAT Any movements, within your personal area, that generate enough heat to break a sweat. Stay within your warm-up area to contain rather than disperse the heat generated. Towards the end of the five minutes of HEAT, mark the boundaries and the center of your area with your movements. Own this space. Step 4. No-Form After you break a sweat, stand in the center of the space. Adjust your stance to support a position of vertical rest. Unlock the knees, let the pelvis drop, and focus on the exhale. Begin your process of emptying, of approaching intimacy with the Void of potential energy. Enter a state of internal receptivity, of being nothing; empty. Don’t fret if this stage proves frustrating. No-Form takes (feel free to refer to the Circuit Five Feature Article, “The No-Form Technique” for tips and clues). Step 5. Choose a Polarity, Immersion While standing in No-Form, select a charged polarity from your list that feels relevant to you at this time in your life, not as a concept but as a living reality. Project one half of your polarity in front of you and the other behind you. Let their respective energies, qualities, colors and charges exist before you and behind you as you stand in the center of your space. From No-Form, step back into that side of your polarity placed behind you. Let its power and presence fill you. Don’t try to control or direct this energy. Absorb its influence and let it expand inside you. This can be subtle or dramatic; there is no predicting the outcome. Let this energy move and bend you as it wills. Yield to its direction and serve its expression through you. Commit to the expression of this force

through you. Don’t try to control it. Let the energy be the boss; let its force guide the direction and expression. NOTE: If nothing happens, wait a few long moments; if nothing still happens, return to the No-Form stance and try again. When you feel done, step forward into the other side of your polarity and subject yourself to its energies, qualities, colors and force, just as you did with the opposite side. Remain there until you feel compelled to return to the other side of your polarity and then, cross over and immerse yourself. Continue physically moving back and forth between each side of your polarity with the intention of giving more of yourself to each side as you go. Take your time. If you feel like you’ve lost power—lost connection with the energy—return to the No-Form position until you’re receptive enough to go again. If you have lost too much heat, return to your process of generating heat and sweat until you are ready to re-enter No-Form. Step 6. Return to No-Form, Discharge the Ritual, Closure You will know when the ritual is over when the energy runs out, or simply when you feel done. When this happens, return to No-Form. Let your emptying process discharge any residual force you evoked. Stay in your No-Form stance as long as it takes to release your attachment to these energies or states of being. Record your experiences, impressions, images, etc. in your Lab Book. As your schedule permits, return to this ritual as many times as you wish during this week to discover what develops. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” — Anonymous C-5 Ritual #2: Aimless Wandering Note: For those whose lives and schedules forbid the completion of the Solo Polarization Ritual, here is another C-5 ritual task with similar objectives for connecting C-1 and C-5 but with a very different approach. For those willing and able to complete both ritual tasks, you may be rewarded doubly towards stabilizing the C-1—C-5 vertical connection). This ritual requires that you take a morning or afternoon off and drive, walk, ride or be driven to any area of the city or rural region that is genuinely

unfamiliar to you. This ritual can be done anywhere you are most likely to temporarily get lost. Bring with you a cell phone, water, a little food and some emergency money. RITUAL INTENT: 1) To wander aimlessly until you actually become lost 2) To restore your sense of safety and orientation when lost 3) To remain open to the influx of fresh somatic experience (C-5) This AIMLESS WANDERING ritual acts as a test to your C-1 selfcommitment and willingness to restore a sense of safety and orientation in the face of honest disorientation. Any experience of wandering aimlessly through unknown territory can naturally open the senses and excite states of elation and bliss. With the influx of new information and experience, certain habits and fixed beliefs that have been maintaining the illusion of certitude can also begin to wobble and buck. This wobbling and bucking can increase the force of anxiety in our bodies. Anxiety as an Energy, a Force Anxiety is a natural response to reaching our Uncertainty Threshold; of how much uncertainty we can permit before becoming nervous monkeys. Anxiety is a force, an energy, that can be managed and directed as soon as we agree to become responsible—increase our ability to respond—to the anxiety by doing something to restore our sense of safety and orientation. As long as we refuse to be responsible for our own safety, we remain in a fear-based survival mode and either wait and hope for someone else to make us safe (the child’s choice), or become a nervous wreck (the neurotic’s choice). Once we agree to respond to any threat or disorientation by making ourselves safe, the neural pathways to C-5 open up. C-5 bliss expresses our natural state whenever we are free of survival anxiety, fear, over-thinking, and guilt. Learn to manage the force of your anxiety and you exponentially expand your chances of C-5 rapture. AIMLESS WANDERING can take anywhere from an hour to four or five hours, or more. The point here is not to endanger yourself in any actual way but to place yourself in unfamiliar terrain, wander without any goals and see what happens. You have the cell phone, water, food and money in case your physical survival is actually threatened. NOTE: If you plan to trek out into the

wilderness or into truly dangerous urban hoods, you may wish to tell someone where you’re going to minimize the anxiety of your friends and family, and in case you actually do get into trouble.

Week Three: Circuits 2 and 6 Emotional anchoring of accelerating perception

“The border between the Real and the Unreal is not fixed, but just marks the last place where rival gangs of shamans fought each other to a standstill.” — Robert Anton Wilson

Circuit Two Feature Article

“The Emotional Plague”

“The emotional plague” is a term initially proposed by Wilhelm Reich for the irrational insistence on beliefs and ideas that depend on dissociation of mind from body. Reich also referred to it as “the neurotic character in destructive action on the social scene.” Though this body/mind dissociation has plagued humanity for centuries, it wasn’t until the “The Age of Reason” that intellect was exalted to god-like status thanks to the immense success of Newton’s theories and Descartes’ “Meditations”. Since then, the snowballing effect has gripped the collective psyche with overly-literalist thinking made more dismal by the diminishing presence of Imagination in the culture at large. Imagination acts like a canary in the coal mine of the collective unconscious. Whether it’s on the personal or collective levels, imagination death precedes the death of the soul. In the current Hypermedia Era, the body/mind fissure has been dramatized via massive collective projection of vital physical, emotional, and sexual energy into mentally absorbent mediums such as the Internet, VR technology, video games, mass media advertising, and too much TV. If the emotional plague is maintained by constant disassociation of mind and body, we can expose the

virus wherever we are mistaking the virtual for the real, or taking any image or any idea of a reality for the reality itself. The emotional plague in the Hypermedia Era has surfaced in these two ways: 1) an increasing trend towards depersonalization, and 2) a steadily decreasing capacity for direct experience. As we lose trust and faith in the legitimacy of firsthand experience, we can naturally become more vulnerable and compliant to the dictates of external sources of authority and its endless cycles of obedience, reward, and punishment. Without enough trust in our own innate sensibilities, intuitions, and instincts we suffer from an absence of vital information leading to a growing incapacity to distinguish the real from the illusory, the true from the false, and what’s right from what’s wrong. Without self-trust—trust in our own direct experience—we remain as timid children dependent on parental approval and guidance for the way we live, work, create, procreate, and die. This fictitious body/mind split that was inherited from religious beliefs and cultural norms acts on our daily lives in unconscious ways that feed the emotional plague. When any fixed ideas, certitudes, and beliefs are imposed over the fluid vitality of the organism, the body absorbs and contains these invisible negations as muscular tension and armoring. The body never lies. It’s as if the body knows better and naturally resists these mental and moral impositions of a body/mind split by reacting with tension. As muscular armoring accumulates, the capacity for direct experience diminishes. Numbness gradually replaces what was once naturally heightened sensitivity. Body-based therapies influenced by Wilhelm Reich, such as the work of Jack Willis, Christopher S. Hyatt, and Stanislav Grof’s holotropic breathwork, all aim to break down this muscular armoring to liberate the body’s vital forces and restore the capacity for direct experience. Though their various methods may differ, their purpose is the same: to bring the people back to life.

The Eight-Circuit Brain Course

Week Three: Circuits 2 & 6 Emotional anchoring of accelerating perception INTRODUCTION The real work of this course arrives through applying yourself to the tasks at hand and recording your results in your Lab book (and the online Forum posts for those who have set this up). This week we explore the C-2/C-6 vertical connectivity in the emotional anchoring of accelerated perception and how emotional honesty can lead to new ways of seeing. COURSE TEXT READINGS: If you have Angel Tech, read pages 42–45, pages 85–95, and pages 166–169 (end by reading the “warning” section). If you do not have Angel Tech you can get by reading the material here and doing the work assignments. WRITING ASSIGNMENT #1 Confessions of Negative & Positive C-2 Bias Here is an opportunity to air your learned and inherited C-3 ideas and C-4 social moral judgments that carry the bias of distrust, negation, dismissal and/or condemnation of the emotions AND also, those C-3 ideas and C-4 social experiences that convey a bias of trust, affirmation, inspiration, enchantment and praise of the emotions. WRITING ASSIGNMENT #2 C-6 Accelerated Perception or Paranoia?! What do you know about the distinctions between accelerating perception (perceiving more reality) and paranoia (you define it)? Include examples of how you personally stimulate perception and how you personally notice and curb unwanted paranoia. WRITING ASSIGNMENT #3 Updating your terms for the three sub-phases It’s time to adjust and update your own terms for these three phases to better serve the processes of your personal style of intelligence increase. Examples: 1) engage, interpret, and convey, 2) immersion, organization, and articulation.

How does this process work for you?

C2 – C6: BRAIN PLEASURE & EMOTIONAL HONESTY Whereas C-5 rapture expresses the physical body’s innate capacity for pleasure, the highs of C-6 open the “third eye,” the sixth chakra, to the chemically rich neuropharmacy of brain pleasure. Just as C-5 rapture draws on C-1 physical energy to anchor and fuel its experiences (and why extended episodes of C-5 bliss require C-1 physical rest and renewal), C-6 brain pleasures draw on our existing supply of C-2 emotional power for support and fuel. The accelerated perception of psychic opening—telepathy, clairsentience, clairaudience, clairvoyance—and its relativistic outlook depend on a strong, flexible ego to help anchor our psychic awareness. A strong ego is not the same as a big ego. Ego strength does not refer to a forceful ego but an ego flexible enough to flow with your most honest emotional responses, both negative and positive, with minimal C-3 justifications and C-4 moral judgments. C-2 intelligence can be measured by the degree of spontaneity we express and can allow others. Big egos suffer loss of spontaneity by their brittle fixations in one-sided, exalted self-images; strong egos flow like rivers into the sea of life, like flowers reaching for the

Sun Absolute. Emotions vs. Feelings Emotions and feelings are commonly confused as the same thing. Though related, emotion refers to any preverbal visceral reactions to stimuli—a neurological impulse connected to immediate physiological reaction. Feeling refers to a navigational modality, as in, moving by “feeling things out” as opposed to “figuring things out” (C-3). Feeling also allows for cognitive engagement with emotion. For example, the initial visceral impulse of anger or affection or fear conveys an immediate reaction. Afterwards we can have a feeling about that. Initial gut reactions express emotion; cognitive engagement lets us have a feeling about it. C-2 motivation differs from C-3 reasons and C-4 duties for doing something. Moving from C-2 we do things not because we plan them (C-3) or out of social obligation or for the good of the group (C-4). From C-2 we do things for emotional reasons, irrational reasons that don’t necessarily make sense yet still feel right. Satisfying our desires, knowing what we want, expressing emotions, acting on our feelings…all these processes can fill the emotional tank. Emotional problems arise when our tank tips too full or too close to empty. An empty tank can lead to apathy, depression, and dismal attitudes that always accentuate the negative. A flooded tank, on the other hand, can express an inflated sense of self-importance, delusional behavior and/or immature posturing that others find emotionally toxic or “obnoxious.” If you are getting your way too much, your tank may be flooding. If you are not getting your way enough, your tank may need attention and filling. C-2 integration involves monitoring and managing the supply of your own emotional tank to minimize power loss. Power Loss and the Need For Control C-2 symbolizes the central brain’s territorial instincts and its primary survival functions of marking and controlling turf. Though the need to control turf expresses an authentic emotion and impulse it can become invested in what we have very little control over, such as other people’s opinions and their behavior, the weather, the government, and almost everything else under the Sun. With every investment of this territorial need for control into people or

places or circumstances beyond our control, we suffer power loss and oppression to our autonomy. Power is not the same as control, although meeting the need for control can increase power. When this need for control is frustrated, it can result in an out-of-control “control trip” where we try to control everything and everybody in sight—a vicious cycle going nowhere fast. This second circuit treadmill also can produce a maelstrom of negative emotions—helplessness, futility, envy, insecurity, rage, etc.—until the primary need for control is satisfied. What can we actually control? What is it that we can actually call and claim as our own? What turf can we rightly mark as ours? Important questions to be addressed and answered before C-2 emotional intelligence can be integrated. Emotions can be sticky. Wherever we’re emotionally invested, we’re also attached and “owned”; we are possessed by whatever we possess. Whether our investments result in assets or liabilities may depend on how wise we are to what can and cannot be controlled. Emotionally invest in anything you cannot control and watch your life spin out of control. This is not always a problem. Some make an art out of spinning out for the sheer adrenaline rush or to create drama and crisis when they’re bored. Boredom expresses a C-2 frustration of the need for self-challenge. The emotional stagnation of boredom stems from a lack of risk-taking and self-testing which, if continued, can lead to immobilizing indecision and other self-victimizing habits. C-2 emotional confidence, or courage, can be developed by exposure to new experiences and daring to do things we initially believe, think, or feel we cannot do. By proving ourselves wrong here, we can win. Since most things cannot be controlled, “control” represents an illusion. Yet until we satisfy our territorial needs and instincts, we remain frustrated by a very real and nagging need for asserting control. What to do? Find an area in your life that you can actually and rightfully control, and take charge there. Call the shots and make it your own. Remain oblivious to your need for control and you’ll spin your wheels in second circuit overdrive, trying to control what you have no business trying to control, a futile loser game of power loss. Two Culturally Approved Drains to the Energetic Body An integrated C-2 maintains the health, strength, and power of the energetic

body, the neuro-electrical double or “light body.” Two popular drains to the energetic body are: 1) The Poor Baby or Victim Syndrome and 2) The Courtship Compulsion. The Victim Syndrome corrodes and destroys the will of the individual by draining our power with self-pity and the infantile refusal to accept personal shortcomings, inadequacies, and flaws, while complaining and whining about feeling “not enough.” Poor Baby! This popular mechanism of power loss is not entirely our fault. Multimedia advertising geniuses have taken full advantage of the Poor Baby epidemic sweeping the land by appealing to consumer frustrations and unconscious inadequacies to push their product lines. If we are not defining and meeting our personal needs for C-1 Security and C-2 Status, corporate advertising strategies will cheerfully sell them to us (more on this in Circuit Three Feature Article, How To See Through Advertising). When afflicted with the Victim Syndrome, we soon become as emotional vampyres feeding off the sympathy of others while continuing the Pity Party in private. The Victim Syndrome acts as a disempowering cycle of debilitating self-indulgence that atrophies the decision-making muscle with the inertia of indecision. To restore your power, stop complaining and start accepting the full spectrum of your humanity—your strengths and weaknesses, flaws and talents, ineptitudes and skills, competence and inadequacies. Learn to become strong enough to be weak, independent enough to afford dependencies, smart enough to confess ignorance, and courageous enough to be afraid without becoming a coward. In short, learn to become more human. The Courtship Compulsion weakens the will and wastes the imagination. This complicated power drain occurs with: 1) the emotional investment in an idealized image of the “dream lover,” 2) obsessive preoccupation with finding “The One” or the “Soul-mate,” 3) automatic (unconscious) projection of charged emotion onto any person who looks and feels like said “dream lover” image. Though this compulsion may seem like a C-4 social issue, the massive projection and investment of emotional energy defines it as a C-2 power drain.

Courtship Compulsions can be dismantled in several ways. One approach requires a certain readiness to open ourselves to the numen of the archetypal realm by initiating a personal courtship with the immaterial, invisible, and autonomous transpersonal forces of, what Jung calls, the Anima (for men) and the Animus (for women). These archetypal forces make up the very projections that run willy nilly in the Courtship Compulsion. When faced on their own terms these projections can be traced back to their true spiritual origins in the archetypes, rather than imposed onto our lovers, granting us the critical perspective to begin perceiving others beyond our fantasies about them (also see “The Anima/Animus Shrine”, WEEK FOUR). As these C-2 projections are withdrawn C-6 perception can be allowed to expand. Courtship Compulsion expresses a symptom of C-2 vertical disconnect. When we can discover and establish more meaningful connections between C-2 emotional needs and C-6 psychic awareness, Courtship Compulsions can be seen for the soap opera melodramas they are.

On Defusing the Contaminated Id by Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D.

I have been asked numerous times “how do I get more power for myself?” The answer is simple. The process is difficult. The difficulties lie in repetition & tolerating the restructuring anxiety, along with real world threats from other monkeys. So here is the secret: “Power” as metaphor is divided unequally between what Freud called the id, ego and superego. Keep in mind that Freud’s labels are simply labels and do not exist in reality but only point to complex structures and processes. In most people, the contaminated id (masochism, self-damaging desires) is controlled primarily by the superego (inculcated authority/cop). Hence, power is expended in impulse and the counter impulse battle. How much power? I would guess the average person expends more than 75% of their total energies in the struggle between impulsive desire (id), and the self-flagellating response to the desire (superego). Ego functions, i.e., rational and social functions, represent about 25%. This hypothetical model requires reversal. What does this mean? The superego

(whose very existence depends on social and native processes) must be defused and its energy given to the ego. This contradicts Freud’s dictate, that in the healthy person the id impulses will be replaced by the ego. Instead the superego will be replaced by the ego and the contaminated id transformed back to the primal id. The contaminated id must also be defused and the energy given to the ego. This is the purpose and meaning of Undoing (see Undoing Yourself with Energized Meditation and Other Devices, Falcon Press). In practice, defusing the superego alone is not sufficient, as the contaminated id will begin to run wild and get the person into practical trouble with the external superego (the “authorities”). Thus, the contaminated id must be defused at the same time. One problem is that most monkeys cannot separate practical self-control from superego selfcontrol, due to conditioning at an early age to (external) authority. This process is existential, in that the helpless infant deifies the adult caretaker regardless of the caretaker’s qualities. Thus, the infantile processes of deifying the caretaker/authority suffer from an absence of objective evaluation and discrimination. Finally, the original superego is further built upon by other adults, media, and social pressure, continuing the innate deifying process to the grave.

Alan R. Miller (aka Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D.) 1943–2008 Courtesy of The Original Falcon Press, Nick Tharcher, and Linda Miller

C-2 TASKS INTRODUCTION C-2 Absorption, Integration, & Transmission Last week we learned about the central C-1 need for feeling the body deeply. If only C-2 needs were that simple. C-2 complexity embraces multiple criteria to assure our emotional survival. The web of our emotions makes up a dynamic interplay of contrary forces that follow their own “laws,” laws that rarely conform to C-3 analysis and reason or C-4 socio-moral considerations, unless C-3 learns to read C-2 signals accurately and C-4 can relax value judgments. For our purposes here, the following C-2 tasks will focus on the reptilian territorial instincts and the more mammalian needs for experiencing firsthand status, power, and the personal embodiment of authority. THE AIMS OF THESE C-2 TASKS: 1) educating C-3 how to read C-2 signals accurately; to relax C-4 moralities 2) to engage, assimilate, and express C-2 emotional power and intelligence THE OVERALL OBJECTIVE: To sanction the life of emotions and desires as a foundation for anchoring C-6 accelerated perception and brain pleasure. The idea: C-2 hungers for the emotional security of certitudes, set values, and a sense of status or personal significance. C-6 opens us to uncertainty as a creative state and a relativistic outlook that perceives multiple levels of reality, or multiple realities, as equal in value. C-2 pursued for its own sake makes dogmatic little bigots of us all. C-6 pursued for its own sake makes skitzy paranoid space cadets of us all. The main idea here is to find their links and how they work to serve and balance each other. C-2 TASK #1: THE INVESTMENT LIST Look at your personal supply of emotional energy as a kind of currency that gathers interest in your emotional bank (the “emotional tank” referred to earlier). Make a list of people, projects, objects, and abstracts (ideas, beliefs, values) that you feel most emotionally invested in. From this list, determine which ones act as assets and which ones act as liabilities to your emotional

bank by the degree each replenishes &/or diminishes your emotional life. Be as honest as possible. Assets enhance the bank; liabilities drain the bank. Wherever we are the most emotionally invested, we are also the most attached. Rate each item in your emotional bank on a scale of 1–10 with “1” signifying total detachment and “10” where you are “totally attached, addicted, and refuse to live without this.” CLUE: you are probably the most territorial and possessive wherever you are most emotionally invested; whatever we own also owns us. Identify your emotional investments and attachments. Determine what or who might be draining or replenishing your power, where you are accumulating interest or debt. Record the results in your Lab Book. C-2 TASK #2: STATUS REPORT We experience status by the emotional flux that affirms and/or negates our sense of self-worth. Emotions tend to shrink or expand according to our experience of status. We feel “smaller” when we lose status and we feel “larger” when we gain status. 1) Redefine status in the most personal and honest terms you can. What constitutes status for you? The university degree? Your father’s approval? Realizing your dreams? Knowing a famous person? To what extent does your experience of status depend on internal and/or external sources for its confirmation? If you automatically avoid or resist authority and/or success, your C-2 work starts by redefining the type of authority and/or success you can live with. By continuing to avoid defining our status criteria, we tend to avoid and/or fight against those people, organizations, governments that personify the kind of authority, status and success that we resist. 2) Where in your life experience and/or training can you say that you know enough—have enough knowledge—to claim expertise and establish your authority? 3) How are you defining SUCCESS these days? Status as a Symbol for Cultural Values Status symbols also indicate the cultural values of a society. For example, in a commercial society, having money or wealth and things that can be bought by wealth, such as cars, houses, or fine clothing, are considered status symbols. In a society that values honor or bravery, a battle scar would be more of a status

symbol. The condition of one’s body can be a status symbol. In times past, when workers did physical labor outdoors under the sun and often had little food, being pale and fat was a status symbol, indicating wealth and prosperity (through having enough food and not having to do manual labor). Now that workers usually do less-physical work indoors and find little time for exercise, being tanned and thin is often a status symbol in Western culture. — Wikipedia C-2 TASK #3: THE CODE OF HONOR 1) The Approval/Disapproval Mechanism We are empowered by doing things we personally approve of and disempowered by doing things we personally disapprove of. Note that doing also includes behavior, attitudes, beliefs, ideas, relationships, jobs, and alliances. 2) Exposing the Power/Disempowerment Mechanism Though your code of honor may not be known to you yet, it may still exist. You can expose it by clarifying what you actually approve of and disapprove of. If this seems too abstract, pay attention to situations that arise where you find yourself seeking external confirmation for what you already know to be true. What you approve of defines your code of honor. When you break your code, you experience self-betrayal. When you stick to your code, you experience self-enhancement. Don’t just take my word for it; experiment and see for yourself and then, record the results in your Lab book. 3) The Task: a) Make a choice to stop doing things you personally disapprove of. b) Make a choice to hold yourself to actions you personally approve of. Note: This task may be of special value for those of you suffering overly critical attitudes towards others by projecting your own standards onto them without the integrity of holding yourself accountable to those very standards. Defining and enacting your Code of Honor increases emotional integrity and overall C2 intelligence. C-2 TASK #4: THE DOMINION RITUAL Each of us expresses our own distinct, instinctive way of claiming an area as

our own or making our presence known there. This territorial instinct stems from our central reptilian brain and its behaviors often occur unconsciously. When this vital instinct can be made conscious, the action becomes a personal dominion ritual. The Ritual itself Choose a room in your current habitat and rearrange the objects to shape the space in ways to further establish your dominion there. If you live with roommates, negotiate this temporary change. Also find ways of moving and making sounds in this space to assert your presence and energy. If you feel self-conscious doing this—C-4 social moral embarrassment or the C-3 inner critic wanting to do everything correctly—remember, there are no right or wrong ways to own your space. There is only your way of owning the space. Write down your results in the Lab book. C-2 TASK #5: EMOTIONAL POLARITY RITUAL Don’t do this ritual on an empty stomach. Eat a light yet protein-rich meal and allow at least an hour for digestion before doing the ritual. This ritual follows the same structure as the C-5 Solo Polarization ritual with the addition of two things: 1) use the STRETCH and HEAT phases of the physical warm-up to strengthen the sense of boundaries of your personal area for greater dominion and 2) choose one polarity from the following list to work with: WINNING/LOSING; TRIUMPH/DEFEAT; SUCCESS/FAILURE; STRONG/WEAK; IMPORTANCE/INSIGNIFICANCE; DOMINANCE/SUBMISSION; INDEPENDENCE/DEPENDENCE; WORTHLESS/VALUABLE Overall aim To increase emotional flexibility, or ego strength, by accepting and engaging contrary sides of your nature. For example, are you STRONG enough to be WEAK? Do you have enough status to endure insignificance? Can you win by losing sometimes? Does your definition of success include failure?

Specific ritual objective To gain equal access to both sides of your chosen polarity. To enter each side of the polarity as a source of energy, rather than your concepts and judgments about that energy. If you cannot escape C-3 chatter or C-4 judgments, I suggest giving them the attention they crave by exploring one of these polarities first: CRITIC/PARTICIPANT or ORDER/CHAOS. AUXILIARY RITUAL: For the overactive C-3 or C-4 Resistance = energy. If you cannot bypass negative moral reactions or overthinking during the Emotional Polarity ritual, return to No-Form and project these resistances into the ritual space and subject yourself to them directly and give them expression. Once you get this negative static temporarily out of your system, return to No-Form and re-approach the original ritual of charged emotional polarities. ALTERNATIVES TO C-2 TASK #5: For those who cannot find space to perform the previous TASK 5 ritual, here are five small yet effective tasks that can be done almost anywhere. If they are performed with high commitment, each one can act towards cultivating greater emotional flexibility, ego strength, and C-2 intelligence. Choose the ones you know you will actually do. 1) During your next argument, admit to “being wrong” even if you are not. 2) Find ways throughout each day to inconvenience yourself on purpose. 3) When you feel the dread of “being stuck in a rut,” relax and be in the rut. 4) If you are used to winning and getting your way, help someone else win. 5) If you are accustomed to losing and not getting your way, create three small victories.

Circuit Six Feature Article

The First and Second Attentions “It is essential that you have Knowledge. It is also essential that you escape the Known.” — J. Krishnamurti HOW THE TWO ATTENTIONS WORK What we pay attention to informs the content of our minds; how we pay attention informs the quality of that content. Two types of attention will be addressed here to demonstrate these ideas. The first attention is that awareness linked to language, thinking, and the automatic assignment of labels and meaning. The second attention is not linked to language, thinking, or meaning, but to presence, energy, and phenomena. The first attention looks but cannot see; the second attention only sees. Most people know the feeling of being looked at, as if on display; far fewer know the feeling of being truly seen. Or of seeing. Both first and second attentions are important and necessary for differing reasons. The underlying purpose of the first attention is survival—to figure out how to stay alive. The underlying purpose of the second attention is creativity, of directly engaging the autonomous forces of creation. These two attentions can function separately and/or together at various degrees and consequences. Left alone, the first attention fixates awareness on survival issues—such as security, status, analysis and problem solving, social needs—with minimal access to the “post-survival” luminosities of rapture, clairvoyance, telepathy, and the powers of dreaming. The first attention expresses a function of physical sight and intellect; the second attention conveys a function of the energetic body and intuition with biological correlation to the Central Nervous System. The sense of sight (first attention) is linked to insight (second attention) by way of stimulation of the light-sensitive, serotonin-rich pineal gland via the optic nerve. This stimulation occurs naturally during the onset of sleep, resulting in the hypnogogic state of shifting imagery that bridges waking and dreaming states. Though both attentions are already linked, their mutual interaction is rarely made conscious

during daytime waking hours. Putting conscious effort into developing meaningful interaction between both attentions can also bring about fresh experience and information in our night dreams, as well as in waking states. The first attention is stable and stabilizes awareness; the second attention is unstable and destabilizes awareness. First attention stability is maintained by the pursuit of certitudes such as fixed beliefs, ideas, preconceptions, assumptions and dogmas. The unstable second attention is maintained by permitting more uncertainty, residing in silence and the experience of being unknown to yourself. Both attentions can be strengthened through different types of concentration. First attention concentrates by fixating on an idea, image, or concept; second attention concentrates by merging with the energy. First attention creates a picture and assigns a story, message or meaning to it. The second attention attunes to the signal, frequency or vibration of the energy. A message is the ordering of a signal. Second attention gets the signal, first attention organizes it into a message. This process already happens by itself, unconsciously without our control, and it happens at the speed of light. The second attention absorbs luminosity and is light sensitive; the first attention translates energy (light) with pattern recognition and is form-sensitive. The second attention acts like a radar dish receiving raw signals from outer space and the first attention is like the computer program that outputs incoming signals as readable data. The first attention can act as an anchor to the second attention, as the second attention can act as a catalyst or shock to the first attention. The first attention anchors the second attention when we can learn to find words, images and ideas that best serve the authenticity and truth of the signal. The second attention shocks the first attention to permit enough uncertainty to experience the unknown directly and without assigning it any label. If the second attention fails to anchor itself in the first attention, its absorption of luminosity can over stimulate the nervous systems—all lit up with nowhere to go. Not unlike an overheated electrical wire without a ground, the forces of creation are engaged but sputter, disperse and fail to manifest in time and space. If the first attention consistently avoids the shock of uncertainty and unknowns, the thinking processes can rigidify, grow brittle and overly literal, even paranoid. Both types of attention need each other; both are necessary to increase the power of dreaming.

Educational systems of western civilization have granted the first attention powerful a priori status that has inflated its sense of importance in our minds. This inflation has resulted in a kind of mental tyranny over the body/psyche by the mechanism of over-thinking in general, and over-literalist thinking in particular. This compulsion further complicates itself in nonstop, dualistic comparisons and associations until the psyche is turned into a tool for an inflated, arrogant intellect. When we learn to use the intellect as a tool, rather than being owned by it, we can begin to link the first and second attentions together in more meaningful ways. The first attention can be called “the knowing mind,” as the second attention can be called “the not knowing, or unknowing, mind.” Public education systems sanction the first attention by assigning the highest grades and status to what can be proven, justified and known. Who is assigned high grades for not knowing? Without activating the second attention’s unknowing mind, our focus remains severely limited by the overly literalist bias of the survivaloriented first attention. Claustrophobia sets in when the first attention dominates the psyche with its compulsive data and proof gathering habits. Our minds fill up with the cluttering detritus of random, impersonal information and eventually, with enough practice, become dead data depositories. If basic survival problems remain unsolved—and if security, status and/or territory become threatened—survival anxiety can naturally ensue. In an attempt to alleviate this anxiety, the first attention can begin fixating on absolutes as an, albeit unconscious, attempt to restore certainty where no certainty exists. At its extreme, an insatiable appetite for proofs and certitudes can persist and can mask the deeper agendas of frustrated survival needs. This dilemma can also manifest as a fixation on trying to make sense of everything or as a nonstop ranting of rationalizations. First attention cannot solve the problems created by the first attention. By attempting to solve problems with the very mechanistic mindset that created them in the first place, a kind of Mobius strip of mental looping occurs courtesy of Monkey Mind. The mad reign of King Monkey Mind can be overthrown by shifting the focus towards the second attention. The second attention can be cultivated by relaxing the search for meaning. This can be experienced by relaxing the tendency to project and/or assume meaning onto whatever is perceived, in lieu of direct perception of the phenomena. This

can also occur by dropping labels through an agreement to experience the world without naming what you are experiencing. Infants and very young children see this way most of the time. This begins a process of flexing a perceptual muscle that was at one time active and vital before it weakened and/or atrophied. As these two attentions recognize each other and find new ways to interact and work together, wisdom builds a bridge between their worlds.

C-6 Psychic Intelligence

“Freedom is just a hallucination created by a pathological lack of paranoia.” — Anonymous The Second Attention, Conscious Trance, Neuro-Tarot Brain pleasure, subjective experience of self as light. Opening of the “third eye,” clairvoyance, telepathy and other supersensual, or psychic, abilities. Incoming signals registered at light speed and relayed by an engaged intuition. The Self-Aware Brain/CNS. REALITY SELECTION The absorption phase of C-6 awareness—the second attention—allows us to perceive the existing conditions of the first five circuits as they are, without fantasy or fear or delusion; no big deal, existence is seen for what it is. What we can see within ourselves, we are also able to perceive in others. C-6 also shifts identification away from the physical body and towards the energetic

body, which the CNS/Brain acts as the neurological sheath and conduit for. This first C-6 absorption stage heralds an emergence of the self-aware Brain and CNS. C-6 becomes integrated as we find our own way to manage and navigate our lives as the energetic body. C-6 transmission occurs with various stages of telepathy, from nonverbal communication with others to interspecies communication, and onto the C-7 matrix of interacting with the living planetary entity (more on this in Circuit Seven). The activated C-6 enables a new capacity for perceiving parallel existences of multiple realities as equal in value, something Bob Wilson called Reality Selection. When perception floats free from identification with C-1 fear/safety survival issues, C-2 status and territorial agendas, C-3 theories and rationalizations, C-4 social considerations and moral judgments, and C-5 hedonic pursuits, we may be more free to observe the existing conditions of our lives as they are. This C-6 perception of simultaneity initiates the process of metaprogramming, the conscious redefining and implementation of new personal realities throughout the first five circuits, if that is what we want. C-6 is not bias-free but expresses a relativistic bias for perceiving simultaneous realities as equal in value. Einsteinian relativity becomes a new way of seeing. The danger here is that C-6 can seem as if it has no bias. This can easily lead to a false assumption of pure objectivity and a disastrous loss of C-2 anchoring and its incumbent threat to emotional and mental health. If we become overly convinced of how relative everything is—without also realizing how some things are actually more important to us than others—we clearly delude ourselves. If this self-delusion continues, we become CardCarrying, Fence-Sitting Relativists suffering from Bias Ignorance. The escalating states of uncertainty common to some C-6 psychic experiences can shock C-2 into craving more certainty. The certitude of our innermost convictions becomes necessary for emotional strength and ego resiliency. Yet how much certitude we actually need to anchor C-6 experiences differs for each person and each CNS. Human beings are clinging creatures. To stay emotionally anchored, we need at least one sure thing we can count on. What or who can you call your “one sure thing”? The sooner we identify the source of our convictions, the sooner we can relax the tendency to unconsciously invest C-2 emotions into C-6 psychic events.

Sensationalizing psychic stuff is a popular buffer to authentic psychic experience. Spook films produced by the Hollywood dream machine effectively confuse psychic phenomena with horror with tremendous great commercial success. This has had the regretful effect of hyping the idea of psychic stuff with terror in the mainstream mind. Whether the hype around clairvoyance is pro or con, it’s still hype and has nothing to do with the actual experience. In this spirit, I suggest approaching all C-6 processes with a certain nonchalance: don’t make it a big deal. The less self-involved you are, the greater your chances for C-6 to open up and do its work for you. Lack of self-investment accelerates perception. ON SAFER NAVIGATION OF PSYCHIC EXPERIENCE C-6 activation accelerates perception. As consciousness expands, we perceive more reality. We begin picking up signals from previously unknown sources. Our sense of novelty and depth perception increases. As perception continues accelerating, continuity of consciousness advances and our attention span seriously expands. At some point, we can even engage a subjective experience of the Infinite. When perception expands to the point of merging with the Infinite, 6th circuit enters its transmission phase and links with Circuit Seven Mythogenetic intelligence. We awaken to the illusion of the three-dimensional corporeal world. We discover that we are not our bodies, nor are we our emotions, or thoughts, or beliefs, or morals, or pleasures. We discover that we are not only more than we think—we are more than we CAN think. On Encountering Danger Signs The initiatic conversion of accelerated perception into the infinite nature of Universe can either manifest as a gnosis of benevolent unity—the basic goodness of existence—or spin out into the paranoid netherworlds of Chapel Perilous. How to stop accelerated perception from twisting into paranoia? How to minimize the descent into madness after reaching such breathtaking expanding awareness? The answers to these important questions can be found in C-2 and how emotionally integrated we are. The emotional anchoring of C-2 integration helps stabilize C-6 shocks. Schizophrenics also experience accelerated perception but suffer severe disconnect from their emotions and their bodies. Without C-2 anchoring, schizophrenics wander the depths and heights of the Personal and Collective Unconscious. Like a kite cut loose in an electrical thunderstorm, the divided psyche eventually rips and shreds until it’s

finally absorbed into the tempest itself. The flat affectations of certain types of schizophrenia reflect this emotional disconnect and lack of emotional anchoring in the body. Without C-2 anchoring, C-6 consciousness can destabilize, fragment and finally disintegrate into the various hybrids of psychosis. Without meaningful emotional connections and investments (C-2 anchoring), excessive psychic experiences can overwhelm the ego and cut us off from the emotional truths of what makes our lives worth living. C-6 can be easily turned on with any number of psychoactive drugs or techniques but without strong C-2 anchoring, no real metaprogramming can occur beyond the faux masterpiece you’d be painting on the inner dome of your very own Chapel Perilous. Mental illness is no joke; your vigilance is required. Get to know the symptoms of your own distinct paranoia, emotional disconnects and delusions of grandeur and how you are becoming a legend in your own mind. The brief descriptions below (©2009 Steve Connor, Science editor of The Independent; UK), are offered as warnings for your edification: Schizophrenia Schizophrenia is a severe, chronic brain disorder that usually strikes in late adolescence or early adulthood and is marked by hallucinations and delusions. Sufferers may hear voices or believe that other people are controlling them or reading their minds. Such experiences can be terrifying and can cause fearfulness, withdrawal or extreme agitation. People with schizophrenia have reduced brain receptors for the dopamine messenger. They may not make sense when they talk, or they can appear to be perfectly fine and normal until they are asked what they are really thinking. Treatments can be effective, but most people have some residual symptoms that can stay with them for life. Bipolar Disorder Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, is marked by unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. Like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder often manifests itself in late adolescence or early adulthood, although it may not be diagnosed for many years. The ups and downs are different from the normal ones that everyone experiences and they can result in damaged relationships, poor performances in school and jobs and even suicide. Sometimes a person with severe episodes of mania or depression

has psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations or delusions, such as believing that he or she is famous or has lots of money.

C-6 TASKS C-6 TASK #1: ENGAGING THE SECOND ATTENTION Review Circuit Six Feature Article, “The First and Second Attentions”. NOTE: Do not attempt engaging the second attention while driving a car or operating machinery. STEP 1) Relaxing the projection of meaning and labeling See if you can go a few minutes without assigning meaning to anything. Simply experience and pay attention to each passing moment without labeling anything. Look at a ‘chair.’ Relax the label of “chair” and see the phenomena itself. Apply this exercise of relaxing meaning and labels to everything you perceive, moment-to-moment, until you are unable to do it anymore. Record your results in the Lab book. STEP 2) Space-forming Throughout the day make choices to only pay attention to the spaces between things and people. Do not allow your attention to fixate on any one thing or person. Let your attention drift through the space between and around people and things. Navigate the pathways defined by the space between things and people. See if you can do this for five minutes and then, ten minutes, and for longer stretches of time. Experiment and record your results in the Lab book. C-6 TASK #2: CONSCIOUS TRANCE MEDITATION Please refrain from using any psychoactive drugs during this meditation technique. What is required here is the natural sensitivity of your CNS to pick up emanations from the energetic body. If done according to my specific directions, this meditation can support safe C-6 activation. However, this meditation does not guarantee that your “third eye” will automatically open to see auras, though it might. Use this technique to fan whatever psychic spark already exists in you into a greater flame. Conscious Trance induces a physically passive AND psychically active state. As with learning or mastering any technique, diligence of practice brings success. C-6 psychic intelligence requires a state of relaxed self-investment (unlike its anchor, C-2, which becomes active with emotional investment); if

you get too excited, the C-6 channels can shut down. Until this meditation is learned, limit it to no more than 20 minutes; when it’s mastered, no longer than forty minutes. As always, look to your firsthand experience as your final authority. THE SETTING Any quiet room with no external interruptions. Candlelight or low illumination suggested. Room temperature moderate and/or unnoticeable. A stable and comfortable chair with a firm back. A glass of water and a piece of candy, fruit, or chocolate (save treats for after the exercise). Preferred time of day: anytime after sunset. Wear comfortable clothes. Practice this technique for the first time in silence; feel free to add ambient music after you learn the technique if you like. STEP 1: GROUNDING: The Earth Energy Cycle 1) Sit in chair, both hands resting on your lap cupped upward, feet flat on floor. 2) Close your eyes and let your consciousness drift down to the base of your spine. 3) Relax the base of the spine and feel the soles of both feet on the floor. 4) Watch your breath without changing it. Choose any inhale to begin sucking up the energy of the earth below through the chakras in your arches (soles of the feet) and draw this energy up through your ankles, legs, and pelvis. On the exhale blow this earth energy down into the earth through your first chakra at the base of your spine. 5) Establish this cycle of inhaling the earth energy up and exhaling it down, so it becomes an unbroken flow connecting the bottom half of your body with the earth below. Practice this “earth energy cycle” for five to ten minutes in a gentle and unforced manner by following the natural rhythm of your inhales and exhales. STEP 2: ACTIVATION: Cosmic/Earth Energy Verticality 1) When your energy has stabilized from STEP ONE, rest your attention in the center of your brain while continuing the earth energy cycle of breathing. 2) Feel the top of your head. On the inhale, simultaneously suck cosmic energy down from above through your crown while pulling up the earth energy from below. Bring both energies into the first chakra, base of the spine, letting them mix and mingle there. To focus this energy, purse your lips so your

mouth is open just enough to allow unrestricted breathing. 3) On the exhale, “wiggle” the mix of earth and cosmic energies up the spine and out the crown AND out the arms and hands at the same time. This may take some practice to coordinate the influx of both energies on your inhale while moving them out the hands and crown on the exhale. Remember to “wiggle” the mix up the spine. If you can, keep at least some of the earth energy cycling from your body to the Earth below to stay grounded. 4) As the mix of cosmic and earth energy wiggles up your spine, let it pass through the attention point in your central brain. Let your attention remain in the center of your brain as the energy moves up through you and out the crown. Continue this cycle of earth/cosmic energy breathing for a few minutes. STEP 3: SCANNING: Detecting the Chakras NOTE: This third step may not be accessible to everyone in the same degree of engagement. If you find it working for you, continue with it. If nothing happens, practice Steps 1, 2 and 4 as a cycle unto itself. Step 3 requires a lack of self-investment or “trying.” 1) While resting your attention point inside the sixth chakra (center of the brain) as you continue the trance process, begin scanning the bottom five energy centers: (1) base of the spine, (2) a few inches below the navel, (3) the solar plexus, (4) the heart, (5) base of the throat. 2) Use your open hands to very slowly move up and down in front of you like radar discs scanning each chakra. Let your hands pick up any images, patterns and colors. Let your hands act as radar dishes for C-6, your third eye. 3) You can accelerate your trance anytime by narrowing your breath by closing your mouth into a smaller hole. This can have the effect of increasing the intensity of cosmic and earth energy as you wiggle it up and out the crown and your hands. Let your body respond naturally to this acceleration. C-1 may wish to gently convulse, jerk, or spasm; don’t force it, though. Let your body respond by itself. Be gentle; too much physical activity diminishes the psychic trance. STEP 4: CLOSURE: Break Trance 1) When you feel done with the meditation and while still seated, bend over between your legs and let your arms and head hang while growling like an

animal. I’m serious. The growling restores the body’s natural aggression and breaks the physically passive trance state. Bending over helps drain the excess cosmic energy. BREAK TRANCE. 2) You are now ready for your chocolate, candy or fruit treat. 3) Record the results in your Lab book. 4) The glass of water is there to re-hydrate after amplifying your electromagnetic field. 5) If you require further discharging of psychic energy (if you cannot sleep that night), a salt bath can serve to neutralize excessive electromagnetic charge.

Designing Your Own Circuit Cards

C-6 TASK #3: THE NEURO TAROT After reading the instructions, create nine cards—symbolizing your current vision of the eight circuits and one for Chapel Perilous. Mechanical details and visual cues are offered in the following article. Though the goal of this task is to create nine NEURO-TAROT cards, you may wish to expand it later to 25 cards by including the three sub-phases (absorb, integrate, transmit) for each of the eight circuits. On Redefining the Terms of Your Life Once we are ready to defuse the archaic, obsolete cultural ideations wrapped around the living facts of our lives, we can begin to experience those truths more directly and come to our own conclusions about what they mean. It’s in this iconoclastic spirit that the following ideas, principles, and techniques for designing your own oracle are presented. Many people would never dream of designing a tarot deck or an oracle, yet how cool it would be to play with cards you designed according to your own personal vision and magical symbology. You do not need Tarot experience to design a deck of neuro-tarot cards. If you know Tarot, you may wish to rethink those archetypes according to how you are now experiencing and defining the eight circuits and the precarious bardo zone of Chapel Perilous. The Workbench and the Research

I’ve discovered three basic methods for constructing a Neuro-Tarot: 1) cutand-paste collage 2) artistic illustration, and 3) combined collage-illustration. Each approach works well enough depending on the degree of your available energy, artistic talent, and time. To keep it simple we will stick with the cutand-paste collage method. Perhaps the illustrators and fine artists can deviate according to their given talents and creative processes. An effective NeuroTarot depends on self-knowledge and willingness to completely expose yourself to yourself. Self-honesty ranks a lot higher than artistic talent when you’re creating a divination device. The neuro-tarot can be designed olde skool style or new school via various computer design programs. Either way, you will first need a rich and diverse image bank. Olde skoolers must gather copies of magazines with the greatest variety of gorgeous illustrations, images and photos. In the service of Art, you will mutilate and destroy these magazines by cutting out choice images to create your cards. (Note: collage art bypasses copyright law when the combination of separate images creates an entirely new work of visual art: yours.) To complete your oracle kit, you’ll need a couple dozen blank index cards, glue sticks, scissors, felt-tip pen, and scratch paper. New schoolers with computers, PhotoShop/Design programs, and printers who want to actually handle their cards (highly recommended) will also need the blank index cards, glue sticks, and scissors. When the Personal Becomes the Universal You are creating eight cards that represent each circuit as eight separate windows into your world. Let Chapel Perilous represent the wild card in this deck. This process of designing your own oracle mimics a primitive filmediting project where you become Director, Producer, Writer, Editor, Star, and Cast. Now, get those scissors and magazines, or that image-rich file if you’ve amassed and saved on your computer. Start cutting out pictures that jump out at you. The key here is keeping your work personal. If you try to focus on too grand a scale, you run the risk of losing power or going bland. Designing these cards requires total integrity. If you commit fully to what is most personal to you and your life right now, you may have a far better chance at breaking through to more universal ground. Don’t hesitate to make cards that express the darker, frightening elements within your psyche if it’s honest to do so. This goes equally for the brighter,

more cheerful aspects of your psyche. By combining strong positives and negatives, your deck will tend to ring with more authenticity. The more personal you get with yourself when you’re designing your deck, the more personal your deck will get with you when you use it later. You don’t have to know why these images touch and move you, as long as they do. Trust your intuition. Create a deck full of surprises and your cards will continue to alter the expected for you. Another visual technique is setting up a “background/foreground” by finding images that make perfect backdrops for visual ideas you wish to highlight up front. This method brings a drama and depth into play. Try experimenting with the collage technique of juxtaposing dissonant images in your cards to form new visions, new ways of seeing things. The faculty of imagination cannot be underestimated here. Create windows and worlds your soul would inhabit. Expect certain cards to remain more subjective and esoteric, while others become more immediately accessible to the minds of others. More Tools in the Neuro-Tarot Toolbox When a card looks like it’s done, trim the picture so it fits onto an index card and then glue it down. After cutting and pasting it onto the card, you may wish to frame each card with a dark felt-tip pen. Glue or write a word onto the card, wherever appropriate, to communicate your insight. If a card speaks for itself without a word, leave it off. Number the cards to identify the circuit they represent. As you continue combining words and pictures, watch for configurations that surprise you by offering a new insight into an old memory or a bird’s-eye view on a previously banal issue. Look for visual feasts for the inner and outer eye, snapshots of eternity, close-ups of your inner life. To fortify the resilience of each card, you may want to paste two index cards together; a colored card makes a nice reverse side. To extend the life span of your completed deck, contact a printer that offers lamination services (the plastic cover enveloping restaurant menus) and laminate your cards for easier handling.

Week Four: Circuits 3 and 7 How Symbols Contextualize the Mytho-Genetic Matrix

“Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities—the political, the religious, the educational authorities—who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing and forming our minds to their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable openmindedness, chaotic, confused vulnerability to inform yourself.” — Timothy Leary

Circuit Three Feature Article

INFORMATION WARS “How To See Through Advertising”

“Believe what you’re told. There’d be chaos if everybody thought for themselves.” — TOP DOG hotdog venders, Berkeley, CA Information wars are not fought over physical turf but over the internal landscapes of the psyche itself. Those who are not busy learning new ways to keep learning and thinking for themselves are becoming Info-War casualties without knowing it. World Entertainment Wars exist at the level of mind. Information warfare implements massive infiltration of gorgeous images and catchy buzzwords upstaging personal and collective imaginations with externally produced images and fantasies. War is hell. The horror of the information wars begins when imaginations are over-stimulated, numbed, and replaced by corporate designer replicas. Imaginations corroded by TV Overdose, Video Game Debauch, Internet Addiction, and Advertising Bulimia suffer withering slow deaths. To what

extent have our minds become over saturated with slick simulations of realities that no longer represent anything we can actually experience or create in real time? Are we losing our capacity to care about whether or not our dreams and fantasies are actually our own or the tentacles of a larger octopus of mass-produced dreams designed by Corporate Imagination Killers?! Dampen a person’s power for imagining their own futures and you wash away the internal psychic environment and home to a living soul. Imagination loss precedes the death of soul. The Way of How The public education systems are, in part, to blame for teaching and rewarding students to memorize and absorb massive amounts of data, while ignoring the fundamental principles of how learning actually happens; not just learning more facts but how to learn new ways to keep learning. In most elementary and grade school, students are taught to value knowns over unknowns, content over process, as a measure of intelligence and self-worth. The highest grades and the greatest approval go to those young impressionable minds willing and able to retain the densest volume of known facts. Remember receiving your first “F” on a report card? When minds are taught to avoid, dismiss, and devalue unknowns, these minds start functioning as dead data depositories. Oversaturated with inert content, the once open and hungry mind eventually shuts down and is put out to pasture to graze with all the other fat cow and fluffy sheep minds. Any mind can fill itself with dead data and remain fundamentally ignorant; too many do. Real intelligence thrives on process, not content. The processes producing the contents that fill a mind actually govern and regulate that content. WHAT something is labels it; HOW something happens, shows us its essence. Did you ever notice how the way someone says something can mean more than the actual words themselves? The Way of How. The way of how is utilized to great effect by the Corporate Advertising Imagination Killers to change the contents of the consumer mind without asking their permission. Imagination lobotomy. Shame. Shame. Shame. Corporate advertising promotional tactics act on the naive consumers who have not begun thinking for themselves or governing their own lives. The most sophisticated front-line advertising strategies trick consumers into believing their lives are incomplete and deficient without the promoted product; only

through purchasing the commodity will the consumer’s life become “whole” or “better.” Successful advertisers expose a real need and then, make a promise to meet it for the price of whatever they’re selling. By superimposing the grid of the first four circuits over this general “deficiency” principle, very specific information jumps out at us. Our most basic four needs—physical, emotional, conceptual, and social—are driven by specific rewards assuring the satisfaction of those needs for more and more: 1) SECURITY 2) STATUS 3) KNOWLEDGE 4) SEX Everybody defines and meets their needs for security, status, knowledge, and sex in different ways. The content of these needs is universal; how they’re met is personal. When needs aren’t met, frustration sets in. This knowledge forms the backbone of all successful advertising: promise them anything but sell the product. By associating any product with the promise of more security, or more status, or more knowledge, or more sex, the consumer’s own unmet needs are touched and hooked. Corporate advertising will promise to deliver you whatever you’re not giving yourself. Imagination Boot Camp demands that we learn to identify and expose our own needs and then find our most honest ways of meeting them. Advertising is the business of promises, fantasies, and dreams: truth doesn’t sell products, images do. The 8-Circuit grid offers a good starting point for seeing through these lies. By redefining “security” and “status” and “intelligence” and “sexuality” according to one’s true responses and needs, something extraordinary occurs: an identity is born. Not a “self-image” (too often confused for identity), but an honest expression of one’s innate being. By defining one’s terms, one stands a better chance of living by them. Info-Warriors know it is too late to avoid selfdefinition; “define yourself or be defined.” Info-Warriors fight on the front lines under camouflage of poetry, trance-inducing music, and pirate cinema; they evoke where their opponents explain and get away with murderous humor. Info-Warriors hit the roads, rearranging highway billboard messages to expose dangerous truths while circulating posters of political candidates referenced by “Dial-A-Prayer” phone numbers. Info-Warriors use their imaginations as holy mojo healing totems for inspiring people to death. If religion is the opiate

of the masses, then the death of religion may be the rebirth of poetry.

The Eight-Circuit Brain Course

Week Four: Circuits 3 and 7 How Symbols Contextualize the MythoGenetic Matrix

“He who sees the Infinite in all things sees God. He who sees the Ratio only sees himself only.” — William Blake Course Text Readings: If you have Angel Tech, read pages 48–53 and pages 101–106. C-3 INTRODUCTION C-3 symbolic intelligence depends on duality-based intellectual processes of comparison, association, and deduction. In the initial stages of C-3 we passively absorb the ideas of others from books, media, schools, and wherever else we gather data. C-3 integration occurs by thinking for ourselves and by the interpretations we assign to whatever data we absorb. If we skip this second interpretive phase, we automatically absorb data but fail to truly think about it or communicate anything beyond parroting, or quoting sources of said data,

rather than saying anything original. Without this second integration stage— thinking for yourself and assigning meaning and context to data—whatever content we absorb busies the mind with the inner chatter of unprocessed data; the mind gets lost in the mind as an endless circuitous C-3 loop. Being logical is not the same thing as thinking. As C-3 continues absorbing and gathering data for its own sake—without bothering to integrate or interpret any of it— the mental regurgitation of all the unassimilated content turns into food for Monkey Mind, the name I assign any loopy C-3 intellect that has lost its vertical C-7 connection. THE AUDACITY OF BIAS Monkey Mind can be trained by learning how to think for yourself and by learning to identify your bias. Thinking for yourself demands a certain audacity. I mean, who are we to determine or decide what anything means? The nerve! Why, we are the consciousness seeking to reclaim our conceptual minds from autopilot Monkey Mind, that’s who! How do we determine and decide what constitutes the meaningful? This is an important question to answer for anyone wishing to advance C-3 integration and for those who wish to truly use, instead of being used by, their minds. Who’s your daddy? Are you C-3’s bitch? Does C-3 own you? Are you ready to own more of your mind or will you continue your daily life as a C-3 slave? Shall we turn the tables and invest more consciousness into the way we think, speak, and write? Are you willing to do the work to liberate the C-3 death grip on your body and the tyrannical correctness C-3 imposes over emotions? Your immediate rebellion is required. But how do we revolt in a way that doesn’t further entangle us in the complicating web of our own C-3 designs? How can we use C-3 to solve the problems created by C-3? We cannot. We cannot solve the problems with the same mind that created the problems in the first place. We must learn how to step outside the monkey cage and look the ape squarely in the eyes. The Mind is a Liar and a Whore! The mind is a liar and a whore that denies its bias and continues its tyranny of falsely assumed objectivity while casting its dreary spell of bogus authority. Such a mind will lie to save face rather than confess ignorance, and whore itself to whatever and whomever agrees with its delusions. Bias expresses an

outlook of how we know truth; not THE truth but YOUR truth. Our bias is informed by the filters of our beliefs, prejudices, assumptions, ideas, values, personal history, etc. Our bias shapes everything we say, think, feel, do and how we relate. Everyone has a bias. Pure objectivity is a lie. Our bias conveys something of where we’re coming from, our angle or slant. Everybody has an angle. Our angle informs the context of meaning in our lives, what makes something worth knowing and what we dismiss as meaningless drivel. Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle eloquently demonstrates how the observer influences and determines (defines) any reality by the nature of the observational techniques, maps and models used for interpreting that data. Pure objectivity is the wet dream of the pre-Quantum Newtonian C-3 intellect. To increase our powers of observation, we have only to expose and identify the bias that limits and defines our perception. Bias is not the problem but not knowing our bias—or denying that we have one—can be a big problem. Knowing your bias is a little like knowing the smell of your own shit; it helps you pick up the stench of other peoples’ B.S. (Belief Systems). For example, I interpret horoscopes. To me astrology is not a science, or a pseudo-science, or philosophy, or spirituality, or religion, or whatever newspaper columns say it is. Though these biases express the truths of others, I don’t buy into any of them. Since I choose to view astrology as a language, my astrological bias would be a linguistic one. Why? Real communication remains one of the most meaningful experiences in my life and studying astrology as a language helps me communicate. My linguistic bias renders astrology meaningful to me. C-3 Mind Links Conceptual intelligence expresses a natural curiosity and an impulse to share ideas with others. We love explaining ourselves in the hopes that our ideas and theories might find external confirmation and agreement. “If we both think it, it might be true.” Intellectual agreements swiftly form the basis of mutually meaningful conversations that can lead to C-2 political and C-4 social alliances. We can also experience the validity of our ideas in our own hermetically-sealed mental worlds. However, if our mental states never find translation in symbols and language that communicate our inner reality with

others, we become legends in our own minds. Some legends cocoon into their own worlds and wither a slow death. Others, with greater powers of persuasion, find those who buy into their ego fantasy and form the C-3 mind links that maintain that illusion of reality, that is, as long as people still buy it. Whether we are buying into our own super-hero self-images or convincing others to, there is something of the con artist to any C-3 that has yet to link with C-7. Like a carnie magician diverting audience attention before pulling a white rabbit from his trick-top hat, there is also something in the audience that wants to be fooled. The difference between the magic of C-3 and C-7 is that the former presents magic as an illusion of reality, whereas the latter reveals the magical nature of reality itself.

When Money Turned Funny Note how the collective power of C-3 mental consensus maintains the illusion of reality known as material currency and wealth. With so much consciousness invested in money, whatever happens to the economy also happens to the collective consciousness invested in it. The global economic crisis masks a deeper global crisis in consciousness. Back in 1971 that clever president Richard Nixon took the USA economy off the gold standard. He knew the national character of Believers well enough to know they would blindly maintain the value of money by sheer belief, faith and confidence alone. Money didn’t have to be backed up by silver and gold anymore—it could simply be printed up whenever the government needed more. This shift off the gold standard was diabolically symbolized by the “In God We Trust” logo the Federal Reserve printed on all paper money after 1971; before 1971 it was only minted on coins. Is money the greatest con or the greatest magical act in recorded history? Only the billionaires know for sure… We Are Not What We Know Monkey Mind fastens its grip on C-3 whenever we confuse our knowledge for who we are. When we confuse what we know (our information and experience) with who we are (the mystery of being), we can easily spin out in a C-3 tilt-awhirl of self-delusion and defensive behavior. For example, if someone questions the authority of what you know (your data sources) and you react defensively, it may stem from feeling that your very being was judged. What we know includes all the data, concepts, and information we have gathered, identified with and/or held onto as bits and pieces of truth and fact. Who we

are expresses our true nature. Who are we? We are more than we think and know; we may even be more than we CAN think or CAN know. As we become more comfortable with unknowns, within and around us, we naturally open up to greater sources of inspiration and creativity can avail themselves through us. This is one way that C-3 warms up to C-7. Theory, from the Greek, theo, for god— are all theories actually ideas about the gods? Until C-3 discovers C-7, it continues operating mechanically in dualistic modes of comparison and deduction to secure its ongoing justifications and rationalizations. We move from proof to proof in a nonstop C-3 treadmill correcting whatever we deem ‘wrong’ or ‘incorrect,’ a mental habit often misdirected at others, society and the impersonal world at large. This woolgathering can continue ad nauseum until we get lucky and stumble into an experience that genuinely blows our mind. Culture shock can do this, as can the sudden death of a loved one, or a financial windfall, or falling in love, or engaging any heightened and sustained state of creativity. In fact, any experience that momentarily stuns our mind into silence can open C-3 attention to C-7 signals. Inner Silence, Creativity, and C-3/C-7 Verticality The intellect’s heavy reliance on the sense of sight automatically absorbs most of our attention. Our sight-dominant lives can seriously diminish the sense of hearing so critical for tuning into not just the nuances of sound but, more essentially, the silent intervals between sounds, and onward to tuning into the reality of silence itself. Developing an ongoing intimacy with the reality of inner silence—through meditation or by other means—conditions C-3 into a more receptive state so that we may see beyond the products of mind and allow the experience of silence to act on the mind itself. As this inner silence becomes palpable we come to know that it is not, and never was, a product of the mind. This silence expresses the very ground of our ineffable being, well beyond any words or theories. C-3/C-7 verticality can also be cultivated by deep listening. The power of listening is why and how certain music transports us well beyond our rational minds. We hear exquisite examples of C-3/C-7 verticality in action anytime we’re exposed to the works of great composers and songwriters who use the

language (C-3) of musical notes to communicate their inspired states (C-7). Poets, writers, and artists also embody C-3/C-7 verticality through the various literary, visual, and material mediums of their crafts. Though it sometimes takes great self-discipline and commitment to transmit C-7 experiences through various C-3 language forms, we don’t have to be great artists to do it. These states of consciousness are universal and available to anyone with the humility to realize that they belong to no one and like true creativity, flow through us as vessels. In truth, we are not creators as much as interpreters of creation. When we confuse our egos for creation and take credit for what we never created, the C-3 self-image inflates—“I am the Artist!”—and the creative channels shrink and sometimes, shut down altogether. The Genius of C-7 The word ‘genius’ stems from the C-7 genetic term “genus,” or what is common or universal to a species. So-called works of genius are often marked by uncommon universal appeal. The early Greek idea of “genius” referred to an autonomous entity, sometimes called “daemon,” that inspired the most disciplined artists to create great works. Discipline here must also imply a wisdom for knowing how to live with the daemon and how to remain open to its wild and creative archetypal forces. This inspired relationship with genius required full acknowledgement of the daemon as separate from the artist’s ego. The artist provided the skills, the techniques, the time and the commitment; the daemon showed up and played the artist like a musical instrument. In this creative process, the artist becomes temporarily possessed by the daemon until the daemon is done with the artist and then, the daemon leaves; the daemon comes and goes as it wills. The artist eventually recovers and prepares for his/her next encounter. The dynamic mirrors two lovers, with one obviously more powerful than the other, who do not live together but part ways after consummation. It was only in later Western European culture that this idea of genius suffered corruption when it was romanticized into a cult of personality and its angstdriven life of the Tormented Artist. Here the C-3 self-image, or mental ego, mistakenly merges and identifies with the C-7 daemon only to be twisted, distorted, and broken by its powerful archetypal forces. The trick to maintaining healthy C-3/C-7 verticality lies with developing a strong, sane, and

sober C-3 mind capable of interacting with the C-7 archetypal realms without going insane. A certain humility and nonchalance may be necessary to foster an openness to the daemon within, which includes not trying to control it or own it or rationalize its existence. A new definition for sanity may be needed to allow and embrace the possibility of interacting with an autonomous, immaterial spirit. As we know, most textbook definitions for ‘sanity’ obviously fall short here and why the term must be revisioned before C-3/C-7 vertical stability can be achieved. Unsane; Beyond Sanity but Not Insane We commonly think of the human mind as either insane or sane but there is a third point. When our minds are blown, through any number of upper circuit shocks, we do not always have to go insane. We can also go UnSane, beyond sanity but also not insane. If you are unsane you are not legally insane, to the point of being committed to a mental institute, but you are not sane either, as most people define that term. When going unsane, you are probably in a state of mind where you are perceiving the world very differently than most people. In the face of C-7 shocks of Indivisibility, we don’t need to betray our leftbrain powers of analysis and critical thought if we can also embrace more right-brain faculties such as intuition and imagination to help solve our problems. If C-3 can be trained to take each situation at hand—case by case— on its own terms, instead of dominating each event with preconceptions, untested theories, and blind assumptions, C-3 opens up to new ways of seeing. Being logical is not the same thing as thinking. If compulsive C-3 logical analysis can be relaxed or bypassed, intellect can learn to follow intuition and a new faculty blossoms—what Carl Jung calls active imagination—leaving us poised to articulate the majestic tapestry of C-7 through the weave of our own C-3 ideas, images, words and symbols. If sanity sees the universe as made up of atoms and insanity sees the cosmos as a paranoid conspiracy, UnSanity might see the universe as made up of stories, myths, songs and other poetic articulations of the ineffable beauty and unity of existence. This marginal “unsane” state of mind links directly to the mystery of genius, a phenomenon often said to border and overlap madness while also embracing something else altogether: UnSanity. UnSanity has informed and inspired

countless innovations, artistic creations, ideas, poetry, music, visions, and memes through the work of all the great scientists, writers, artists, philosophers, spiritual teachers, composers, and leaders throughout history. I am choosing ‘unsane’ as a C-3 device (word or symbol) to represent a state of mind capable of absorbing C-7 experience and then integrating and transmitting it through whatever mediums of artistic, literary, scientific, and/or philosophical means possible. The aim here is not to explain away the ineffable—impossible!—but to proffer the experience of the ineffable for others. In this way, we participate in the transmission of archetypal numen through symbols and images in a revolutionary act of Art as Magick. Whosoever controls the metaphor also controls the mind.

C-3 TASKS

Two Primers for C-3 Receptivity to C-7 The process of cultivating enough C-3 receptivity to C-7 experience is not easy, yet with diligent application of the following two C-3 primers, it can be started. These primers are not tasks in the common definition as they don’t involve “doing” as much as “undoing.” These two tasks can act as primers to render C-3 more flexible and receptive to C-7 signals, while serving to expose outdated C-3 mechanical thinking. 1) Cover Your Mirrors Mirrors can be useful but they can also reinforce the C-3 habit of referring to oneself as an image or a “look,” diminishing the experience of self as an evolving or developing process. The use of mirrors can enchant and induce a subtle trance by reinforcing our identification with a reflection. For this week only, cover the mirrors in your place of dwelling and avoid them in the work place and wherever possible. By living without mirrors for one week, you can learn to find other ways to reference and validate yourself, while relaxing the sometimes insipid monkey grip of C-3 vanity. 2) The Talkfast Don’t talk for a day. Pick any day this week that you can hold yourself to not verbalizing. If and when you interact with others socially or at work, bring a pad and pen to explain yourself. The intent of this Talkfast is to expose 1) the nature of your internal dialogue and 2) the effect of silence on C-3.

INTRODUCTION TO E-PRIME E-Prime (short for English-Prime) is a modified form of the English language which eliminates all forms of the verb to be: “be”, “is”, “am”, “are”, “was”, “were”, “been” and “being”. Sentences composed in E-Prime seldom contain the passive voice, which in turn may force writers or speakers to envisage things differently than they might otherwise. To understand E-Prime, consider the human brain as a computer. (Note that I did not say the brain “is” a computer.) The wrong software guarantees wrong answers. Conversely, finding the right software can “miraculously” solve problems that previously appeared intractable. For our purposes here, we will only concern ourselves only with the word, “is”, as a cause of formulaic and dogmatic thinking, writing, and speaking. Consider how the word “is” reflects the mathematical sign for “equals” (=), the central symbol in all mathematical equations and formulas and you may get the idea. Formulaic thinking and writing exalts our most literal interpretations while taking the wind out of Imagination’s sails and slowly sinking C-3 chances of C-7 linkage. C-3 TASK #1 E-PRIMING YOUR LAB BOOK To encourage more imagination, creativity and insight through your thinking and writing processes, conduct the following 3-step experiment: 1) examine your written lab reports up to this point and circle the word “is” wherever you find it, 2) from this point onward, hold yourself to writing your Lab reports without the word “is” or keep its use at a minimum, 3) at the end of this week’s

Lab reports, write down any changes in your processes of thinking, writing, and speaking as a result of eliminating or minimizing the word “is”. C-3 TASK #2 ON DEFINING SANITY/INSANITY In your own words and contexts, define SANITY and then define INSANITY. Do not parrot dictionaries or medical journals or your psychologist friends. Use your own words as if your peace of mind depended on it. As with other examples of self-definition, these parameters can change over time with the influx of new information and experience. Define yourself or be defined. Record your results in your Lab book. C-3 TASK #3 THE DISAPPEARING MONKEY ACT (Meditation) Step 1. When C-3 runs on automatic motor-mouth mode, the internal chatter casts an illusion that these thoughts might be continuous, as in an unbroken stream. If you pay close attention you may begin to see this illusion for yourself. Pay attention to the tiny sparks of silence between these mental constructs. Watch these tiny gaps of silence until you can witness the so-called stream of thoughts as fragments, bits and pieces—quanta—with gaps of silence emanating between them. This fragmentation of thought expresses a distinct pattern and symptom of Monkey Mind. The silence between the gaps expresses our deep self, beyond the comprehension and analysis of Monkey Mind. Rest your attention in these silences and watch Monkey Mind disappear. Further Notes: When a thought distracts your attention, just say “thinking” and return to witnessing the gaps of silence. Keep paying attention to these gaps until they start expanding in your awareness. Let them expand until you experience more space than thoughts. Find out how long you can sit with this expansive silence. Write down your results.

C-3 TASK #4 NON-DIRECTIONAL AND DIRECTIONAL JOGGING Intent: to relax and regulate the C-3 monkey grip over the body. This task happens while jogging and takes 10–20 minutes. If you cannot find an open indoor space of approx. 1000 square feet, do this ritual outdoors. Wear clothes you can run comfortably in and rubber-soled shoes. This ritual can appear somewhat odd to outsiders. If you do not care about what other people think of you, this won’t be a problem. If you do care, do this ritual whenever and wherever nobody is watching. 1) Stretch your muscles for five minutes and then start jogging at a comfortable pace. 2) Begin relaxing the grip you have on your body while jogging. Let your head bob along with the rest of your body; jog loosely, as a rag doll or puppet, with minimal grip on your body. Discover your point of optimum abandonment of this grip without falling or injuring yourself. 3) After a minute or so of this non-directional jogging, start getting a grip on your body again. Determine the precise form, speed, tension and style of your jog. This is your “directional” jog. Take as much control (grip) over your physical instrument as you can. Gradually take this directional state to the hilt to find your own extreme expression of grip and control. 4) Pick a moment to release this grip and return to the nondirectional state of letting your body jog freely on its own impulses and rhythms without the grip

of control. 5) At your own pace, shift between nondirectional and directional jogging, giving yourself enough time in each to know and express their distinct qualities equally. 6) Now, find a jog that effectively combines both nondirectional and directional styles towards a dynamic balance of these contrary forces in your body. 7) Hone this jog down to a pedestrian walk that maintains both nondirectional and directional qualities, without drawing any attention to yourself. Make it normal.

Circuit Seven Feature Article

Hakim Bey’s Moorish Weather Report “Then said the weather god to the queen goddess: ‘We must act at once! We shall perish of hunger!’” “The Hittite Myth of Telpinu” (“The Disappearing God Type”) T.H. Gaster’s THESPIS “…Apollonius replies like a pure sophister: ‘And must I think then— saith he that the world is a living thing?’ Saith Jarcas: ‘Yea, verily, if you reason rightly; for it giveth life to all things.’” — Thomas Vaughan THE FRATERNITY OF THE ROSY CROSS (1652) If the Earth is a living being, what constitutes her skin? The Hermetic “natural philosophers” elaborated the Hesiodic cosmogony whereby Chaos, Eros, Earth, and Old Night, make up the original pantheon of becoming. The Hermeticists understood that we live and walk on the pelt of an animate body —just as Chinese mythographers called humans the fleas or lice on the body of the cosmogonic chaos-figure, Pan Ku. We are Earth’s symbiotes—or parasites—or (Allah forbid) her germs. The old Hermeticists also seemed to believe that atmosphere pervaded the entire universe; if they envisioned flights to the Moon or stars, for example, they never imagined the need for “spacesuits” to protect them against a vacuum. Air was everywhere. Cyrano de Bergerac dreamed of a way to reach the Moon by attaching to his body many sealed crystal vials of dew, which was believed to fall from and return to the Moon. Unable to escape from the vessels, the dew would lift Cyrano on rays of lunar attraction. Thus weather itself was—at the very least—sublunar in scope. Meteorological phenomena or sky-events, from rain to clouds to comets, were not seen as parts of Earth’s body, but rather as evidence that the universe is also alive. Thus every culture perceives a mating of Earth and Sky—an erotic

reciprocity with the universe—which fecundates the planet. Weather spirits or deities belong to that sphere which is precisely not the Earth. Sky or “heaven,” which includes what we call “space”—the aether which fills the universe and is also alive—expresses its sexual relation with Earth in the form of weather. For the early agriculturalists weather is the sperm of the spirits. One of the signs of this meteorological eros is the mushroom which (as John Allegro pointed out) has no seed but is planted direct from heaven by lightning bolts—an almost universal belief. Charles Fourier described the Aurora Borealis as the flickering remnant of a once-great “aromal ray” whereby Earth in former times held sexual congress with other planets and stars. Unfortunately, due to the malign influence of Civilization, which has degraded even meteorological phenomena, the “Northern Crown” no longer serves its proper function. If we could overcome Civilization and establish social Harmony, we’d see the Boreal Crown shoot forth a coherent laser-like 1000-hued ray of pure aroma, or stellar jizm, and simultaneously we would receive similar rays projected at us from other planets like sunbeams but even more concentrated and fruitful. No matter what “science” tells us, this viewpoint will remain valid to the extent that weather, as a sensuous event, really does come to us from “outside.” Looked at this way, the skin of the Earth is her dirt-surface, her water-surface, and her stable biota such as plants (her “hair,” etc.). The motile biota constitute an in-between zone or ambiguous third term between Earth and Sky. Humans, the upright pivots of this intermediate realm, are precisely the mediators between Earth and the weather, controlling rain by sacrifice or dance, and interpreting the falling stars. The Etruscans catalogued eleven varieties of lightning as auguries; weather has meaning, but the meaning is vaporous and evanescentas weather itself. The Taoists saw pictographic characters written in the clouds—but for the most part only spirits could read them. Even in modern meteorology the weather retains an uncanny ability to express itself in mysterious glyphs which seem to hover on the edge of meaning, like the Lorentz “Butterfly Attractor” which describes the ultimate unpredictability of weather in the form of a mathematic “writing” in the shape of a butterfly. In some way, weather always appears to us as an “Other.”

However, science no longer believes that dew rises to the Moon and falls again with moonbeams. Earth is surrounded by “hard vacuum” (a nice paradox) which may be virtually universal. We’ve seen photographs of the Earth which seems to recreate the visions of shamans in flight, and we have noticed that weather is a very local phenomena. At first it might seem that the weather (clouds, blue sky, etc.) makes up Earth’s cloak, a kind of close-fitting hallucinatory opalescent kinetic garment of atmosphere and moisture. But on further contemplation a more accurate metaphor occurs: weather is not the cape but the skin—the peau sensible—of the living Earth. None of us can escape this new world view. Even though as individuals we continue to experience weather coming to us from Outside, we must now superimpose upon this symbolism another and perhaps complementary symbolic structure. In this second view, we humans are no longer precisely the ambiguous between Earth and Sky. Our relation with Earth has become much more intimate. We are inside her skin. We are part of the weather itself, her kinetic flesh, her kaleidoscopic nudity. How we ourselves seem somehow much more permeable, such that clouds and blue sky, rain and lightning, might well move in us and through us, as much parts of our skin and organs bones as we in turn are parts of the skin organs bones of Earth. We are ourselves meteorological events, not unlike rain or falling stars. Courtesy of Talking Raven Quarterly Winter 1993, Seattle WA and The Mad Farmer’s Almanac

C-7 Mythogenetic Intelligence Earth Surrender, Numen of Archetypes, the Anima and the Animus

“When we deeply imagine we no longer imagine at all, but dive, at last, naked and alive, into the flesh of oranges, into the steaming jungle, into words that hang like orange rain, like love just before it happens…” — James Tipton C-7 ACTIVATION AND C-3 ANCHORING ADJUSTMENTS C-7 opening can happen in a number of ways. Those who have been at the birth of their children have experienced mythogenetic C-7. Those who have survived the hot rise of kundalini hissing blissfully up their spines and out the crown chakra have activated C-7. Those who have imbibed heroic doses of LSD, psilocybin, ayahuasca, and DMT may have blasted open C-7 portals. Those who have undergone full-blown religious conversion experiences also know C-7. Then we have the equally mysterious, spontaneous eruptions from the DNA matrix that no explanations can satisfy, eruptions that can occur anytime to anybody—without warning. For C-3 to anchor C-7 shocks we need to relax overly-literalist thinking and

learn to cultivate the faculties of Imagination and Intuition to solve our problems. When overly-literalist left-brain thinking dominates C-3 mental processes, we lose touch with the creative options of the more nonlinear right brain. Imagination thinks cinematically, in pictures and images; intuition links swiftly and directly with the energy and phenomena of any situation. With enough imagination and intuition, C-3 intellect can be educated to serve, rather than dominate, our experiences. But first we must learn to get over the bogus pride of intellectual vanity that causes us to save face whenever the limitations of our existing knowledge are exposed. On the turbulent seas of higher consciousness, all seaworthy vessels require sufficient anchorage before setting sail. The first six circuits represent the extent and the limitations of what our personal ego can do to shape and influence our own reality by individual efforts alone. Circuit 7 marks a dramatic shift away from identifying with all self-generated signals and codes—from basic survival needs to our beliefs, values, ideas, moralities, rapture criteria, perceptions—towards a unifying linkage with autonomous sources originating beyond the CNS/Body feedback loop. These self-generating signals—which include unconscious complexes inherited from unmet childhood needs and early traumas—develop the ego as a separate entity with its own fears, desires, likes, dislikes, ideas, beliefs, morals, aesthetics, visions, and the rest of it. The C-7 shock of indivisibility dissolves and annihilates this separatist ego through non-dualistic immersive experience with the geomantic mysteries of the Earth itself. The C-7 absorption phase links us with the living Earth as a vastly intelligent, unfathomably powerful entity incarnating and embodied as this planet. The Earth is alive and well. Spread the word. The Earth is calling the shots, has always been calling the shots. BEYOND 2012: SOURCING THE EARTH At the time of this writing (Summer 2009), numerous crosscurrents of prophecies abound around the year 2012 and what it might mean to humanity, the end of the world, and the future life of this planet. All seventh circuit issues. One current follows Terence McKenna’s Time Wave Zero theory—also known as Novelty Theory—which suggests that the end of 2012 will see a rapid acceleration of novelty, or what McKenna also called singularity. McKenna’s main source for this theory was metaphysical philosopher Alfred

North Whitehead, who defined this concept as an increase in the universe’s intuitively perceived interconnectedness. Whitehead’s revelation also finds correlations in Carl Jung’s initially controversial and now popular theories on Synchronicity. With the help of DMT, the I Ching, and mathematics, McKenna calculated a date in mid-November 2012 as the apex of singularity. He then changed the date to December 21st after reading about the end of the current 13-baktun cycle of the Mayan calendar on 21 December 2012, as popularized by visionary author José Arguelles in his books and in the more recent books of ethnogen researcher, Daniel Pinchbeck. What all this means to me is still up for grabs. I am reminded of what mythologist and circuit seven adept Joseph Campbell once said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” If the recent cresting and collapsing of widespread global materialism and its reigning economic structures are any indication, I’d say the immaterial and objective force of the Earth has been amping up its frequencies. The world is burning and the planet is picking up speed. If we really want the scoop, the front-line information about what is actually going on right now, we have only to point our antennas—our C-6 intuition—outwards to the Earth below and around us. Attuning to planetary energies brings us to the absorption phase of C-7 where the individual body/CNS links directly with the Earth as a primary source. I do not refer to any Gaia concept of the living earth but to an enactment of an earth surrender rite for accelerating the absorption and circulation of the immaterial, objective force of the Earth throughout the instrument of your own body and CNS. Here we go!

C-7 RITUALS The longer one is alone, the easier it is to hear the song of the earth. — Robert Anton Wilson C-7 RITUAL #1: BUMP CONSCIOUSNESS This earth surrender rite is best conducted outdoors and on open ground (no pavement or floors). The intent of this ritual is to stabilize individual and collective energy fields and can be done alone or in groups. In groups of three, sit in a triangle; four, a square; five, a pentagram; six, a hexagon (6-pointed star); any more than six, form a circle. If you are just two, sit across from one another. If you are alone, sit anywhere on the planet. When you are ready to begin, close your eyes and let your awareness settle in the base of the spine and feel the gravity gather there anchoring you. Begin the No-Form practice introduced in Circuit Five. Once you have cultivated enough internal receptivity, find your contact point with the base of your spine. Watch your breathing and let it be natural; don’t force or hold your breath. On the inhale, breathe earth energy up through the base of the spine and on the exhale, circulate this earth energy throughout your entire body. Continue this cycle of connected breathing—inhaling the earth energy into your body; exhaling while circulating it throughout your entire body. The more earth energy you take in and circulate, the more “dense” it will tend to feel. How much density can you permit? To increase the flow, breathe deeper while you are drawing the energy up from the earth. To decrease the flow, breathe less deeply. You are looking to find your point of maximum density without losing consciousness. Become aware of yourself as a bump on the planet. Get a sense of yourself as a protuberance of the planet where no difference exists between you and the planet. Be receptive to the vast support and strength of the Earth as it expresses itself through you. Begin resonating sounds that match the frequency of this earth energy. Do not try to control the sound or create a melody. Let the frequency of the earth energy determine the tone, pitch, and sonic direction. Simply resonate a sound to match the energy itself. While maintaining this cycle of connected

breathing, exhale earth energy through your arms and out your palms and fingertips. Keep cycling earth energy through your body and out your hands. Continue until you feel done. Send any excess earth energy back to the planet. Return to No-Form. NOTE: The quality and intensity of this ritual can differ according to the particular bioregion it is performed in and the innate energies there. After you have mastered this ritual, apply it to walking, other physical movements, and dancing.

“The Numen of Archetypes”

“Active imagination is a process of consciously dialoguing with our unconscious for the production of those contents which lie, as it were, immediately below the threshold of consciousness and, when intensified, are the most likely to erupt spontaneously into the conscious mind.” — C.J. Jung, The Transcendent Function numen (s), numina (pl) 1 A presiding divinity or spirit of a place 2. A spirit believed by animists to inhabit natural phenomena or objects 3. A spirit believed to inhabit an object or preside over a place 4. Creative energy; genius numinosity The condition or state of being numinous numinosum

1. Revealing or indicating the presence of a divinity; spiritual: “Many religious practices and performances are carried out for the sole purpose of calling forth the power of the numinosum at will by invocation, incantation, sacrifice, etc.” 2. Relating to the experience of the divine as awesome and/or terrifying; designating that which governs the subject outside of his or her own will. During the first half of the 20th century the term “archetype” was introduced to the collective consciousness by psychologist Carl G. Jung as an inherited pattern of thought or symbolic imagery derived from the past collective experience and present in the individual unconscious. Decades later during the pop psychology revolution of the 1960’s, the word ‘archetype’ became very popular and was applied to numerous contexts, perhaps too many contexts. Certain words can lose meaning with redundancy and misinterpretation and I think “archetype” may be one of those words. I use the word “archetype” to address the numen of an undeniably autonomous presence of Otherness. At its originating point, numinosity emanates a presence that sometimes appears in our night dreams by taking the form of recognizable personal images, behaviors, situations, and characters, depending on the complexes defining the individual psyche (more on this later). Archetypes also reside in the hidden heart of stereotypes and clichés— predictable and mechanical roles, movements, behaviors, self-images, personalities—as oversimplifications and cultural parodies as demonstrated by the commercial icons and stories in Hollywood films. Clichés may be archetypes distorted through the corruption of excessive redundancy. Stereotypes convey a banal sense of familiarity, rather than any numen of Otherness, yet conceal a grain of the deeper archetypal truth. Every cliché can be traced back to and linked with its archetypal origins. According to Jung, the impersonal archetypes interface with the individual personality in a particular psychological complex, or fixation. Archetypes take on human imagery—Anima/Animus, Hero, Senex, Puer, Crone, The Shadow, The Self, etc.—depending on the psychological complexes sustained by unmet childhood needs, traumas, fetishes and fixations and whatever obsessions are shaping the individual psyche. For example, the mother complex expresses an active component of everyone’s psyche shaped by experiences of the personal mother, then by significant contacts with other women, and on out to

collective assumptions and biases around women in general. For men, the mother complex links to the archetype of the Anima, the erotic feminine ideal within the man’s psyche. For women, the father complex runs a similar course towards linking with the originating archetype of the Animus, the masculine ideal as heroic protector, which can dramatize externally as a longing for older father-figure types as potential mates. Archetypal forces are not subject to any propriety; they do not and cannot belong to anyone. They are also not subject to our control. Archetypes come and go autonomously, much like our night dreams do, and operate at a much higher level of intelligence than intellectual comprehension. Though we may not be able to control or understand them, the archetypes can be experienced firsthand. C-7 Ritual #2: THE ANIMA/ANIMUS SHRINE This ritual requires a high level of commitment. The intent here is to engage C-7 activation through direct experience of the autonomous archetype of THE ANIMA (for men) and THE ANIMUS (for women). These archetypes are not the same as the Masculine/Feminine polarity existing within each human being. The Anima and the Animus express completely autonomous forces not subject to our propriety; we do not own them. To minimize self-delusion, I suggest that we not refer to them as “my Anima” or “my Animus” but rather, THE Anima and THE Animus. This simple and important semantic adjustment alerts C-3 intellect to the novelty of facing a numinous reality beyond our mental comprehension and control. The following article introduces a personal context of this ritual and the ritual instructions themselves.

The Anima/Animus Shrine A Soul Retrieval Ritual

Because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. — Anonymous This ritual emerged from a need to restore perspective around an intimate sexual relationship soured by my own rampant psychological projections. These projections were unleashed beyond my control and with the force and fury of the gods mistaking me for an abandoned plaything. I had fallen deeply and swiftly in love with an enchanting woman of extraordinary beauty. She embodied my every feminine ideal: Dream Lover, Goddess, Divine Whore, and Muse. With each passing moment by her side, my body and soul fell under the fainting spells of Eros and Hypnos, leaving me entranced, bewitched beyond reason, in a delirious state of insatiable longing towards what would eventually combust into a nonstop, catastrophic romance.

We fought whenever this woman failed to maintain the behavior, words, and deeds commonly reserved for goddesses. In other words, every time she acted like a human being I felt let down and unleashed more complaints and criticisms onto her person. Naturally, she took offense to my ranting and dumped me. In the sullen solitude of her rejection, I suffered horrible angst and felt profoundly drained. I entered a depressed state of utter blackness, hopelessness, and suicidal despair while contemplating my demise as a solace to my naive self-imposed agony. Picture a body walking aimlessly in circles, its soul spinning out in deep space. During this period I was reading Carl Jung’s seminal work on Alchemy, “The Psychology of the Transference” where he addressed the phenomena of the Anima, Animus and the complex processes of psychological transference. I learned how men project the imaginal, erotic dynamics of their souls onto living flesh-and-blood women who personify the man’s inner feminine ideal and how women project their inner will to power onto living flesh-and-blood men who personify the woman’s inner masculine ideal. Here was something that spoke to the nightmare my life had become, something I could finally connect with and relate to. I had read enough, put the book down, and began structuring a ritual to access this Anima archetype on purpose. I felt compelled to face her at the source, instead of through the woman I had fallen in love with. I also needed to ask Her a few questions.

THE ANIMA/ANIMUS RITUAL PREPARATION The Setting This ritual can occur in any indoor or outdoor area of at least 10 ft × 10 ft or more of open space free of any external interruption by others, phone calls, etc. Have a bottle of drinking water nearby to hydrate yourself. Wear clothes you can move freely in. Remove all mirrors from the space. If you want music, select the tracks that support the psychic or emotional climate of your ritual. Building the Shrine Assemble a shrine to the Anima or Animus. Place whatever elements— photographs, flowers, incense, candles, love letters, music—on this shrine

that somehow resonate with the energies you have unconsciously projected onto any external man or woman that has personified the archetype. Sanctify and otherwise devotionally bless the ritual space as an open invitation to the Archetype. Dominion Put the force of your territorial instincts to work by owning this ritual space, including the space above you. Discover how you personally go about physically, emotionally and psychically taking charge of the ritual space in order to feel completely SAFE AND ALONE there.

THE ANIMA/ANIMUS RITUAL STRUCTURE THE PHYSICAL WARM-UP Before attempting to access the archetype, it is imperative to stabilize your energies. You can do this by whatever supports your process of FEELING YOUR BODY DEEPLY. Include stretching, flexing the spinal column, yoga or Pilates, and any movement that breaks a sweat. This physical warm-up should last fifteen to twenty minutes. When you’ve raised your physical energy enough to break a sweat, you are ready for the next phase (the Warm-Up cycle in the Circuit Five Solo Polarization ritual can work well here). NO-FORM The integrity of this ritual depends on the integrity of “No-Form” (see Circuit Five Feature Article, “The No-Form Technique”). This point cannot be overstated, as the ego can easily trick us with its own self-made images and preconceptions of the Archetype. No-Form dissolves preconceptions and cultivates receptivity to the archetype. No-Form charges the ritual. POLARIZATION Divide the ritual space into two areas, designating each side to one part of an emotional polarity that holds strong charge, or personal excitement or resistance. Examples: chaos/order; good/evil; severity/mercy; love/fear; acceptance/rejection (the more personal the polarity, the better). Note: the rest of this stage is identical with the C-5 Solo Polarization Ritual. When

you’re done with the polarization, step outside the circle and return to NoForm. INVITATION Begin the ritual by standing in No-Form outside the parameters of the shrine, with your back to the shrine. Do not face the shrine. While dropping down to deeper gradations of No-Form, invite the archetype to visit the shrine behind you. Continue dropping into deeper degrees of No-Form. Note: Assume this archetype already exists within you as an autonomous presence or spirit; you don’t have to make it up. The archetype cannot be summoned by our beck and call. The autonomous archetypes of the Anima and the Animus are more likely to respond to invitation, than to a command. IMMERSION From No-Form, back into the shrine. Allow yourself to become an empty vessel for the Anima or the Animus. Stand there and absorb the presence of the archetype. If and when you feel the force of the archetype moving through you, yield to its direction (if nothing happens, wait a few moments. If no response, return to No-Form and re-enter the space). Surrender to Him or Her with your entire body and soul. Follow its directions, its impulses and its rhythms. Give your body over to Him or Her as a vessel. Let yourself momentarily merge with the Anima or the Animus. Let this immersive merging carry you, transport you, around this space and in relationship with the shrine itself. Let the archetype move you in whatever ways it wills; “not my will but thine”… EXTRACTION After you feel satiated with the previous immersion, extract yourself. It is time to stop being the archetype and time to start relating with Him or Her. Find someway of releasing the Anima or the Animus from your body. Extract yourself from Him or Her and let its autonomous spirit float freely about the shrine. Begin establishing a relationship with Him or Her. Physically move and dance with the Anima or the Animus. Find gestures, movements, and sounds that communicate this relationship. Ask the Anima or the Animus questions. What purpose does it serve in your life? What is your name? How shall I call you? Keep these questions simple, direct and personal to your own needs. Neither Anima nor Animus is simple-minded; you are the one who may need more directness in relating with this archetype.

CLOSURE When you feel complete, say goodbye to the Anima or the Animus. Give thanks to the shrine before returning to No-Form. This particular return to NoForm is very important as a time to disidentify with any residual archetypal identification that can only leave you confused and inflated. No-Form allows you to become nothing, again, releasing any attachment to the Anima or the Animus. No-Form discharges the ritual by defusing any lingering identification with the archetype and thus allowing closure. A NOTE TO THE PANSEXUAL COMMUNITY: Though this ritual refers to specific gender dynamics, the basic structure can be applied to any sexual orientation.

The Animus Shrine Lab Report by Lise Kvam The following Lab Report was written by a 31 year-old Norwegian woman during the Spring 2009 8-Circuit Brain online course at Maybe Logic Academy. Besides being impressed by its sheer honesty and candor, I really wanted to include it here as an example of how this ritual has been worked and reported by a female. I present her report here without any additional comments. — A.A. This ritual feels as both success and failure…but I experienced a lot and got something out of it so I put it here. I wanted to call it failure because the energies in it are so raw, brutal and “a bit too much drama” I think. I felt embarrassed of the experienced and yet so powerful and in rapture when performing it. It felt too risky for me to put it on the forum, so I will tell you instead. I began the normal warm-up, stretching and meditation. I had forgot to set up the shrine beforehand, so I went and got thing that I associate with the animus: a microphone, a painting made by me of my boyfriend, a design book, a book about sexual quickies and a bracelet with nails symbolizing aggression and boundaries held. I felt that I owned my own space and I felt afraid as well… I entered No-Form and got an immediate sense of balance. I had chosen (the polarity of) freedom/duty and asked where I was needed the most and got dragged to duty. I made a violent noise, slapped my hands and hammered on the floor and felt my arm go up like holding a gun and pointing it, saying “there, I want to go there” and I felt the duty transformed to will combined with that I must. I was so happy and felt immediately so free that I got confused thinking that I wasn’t supposed to feel free over here in the duty department, so I just continued anyhow and the aggression came up again and I spat on the floor and hammered and tramped with my feet. When I felt done I went to the other side I felt like a little girl and jumped a bit and then just stood there and saw a picture of me at last narchspiel, feeling wonderfully free and lustful. Smiling. I went back and forth two more times

and then I felt the need to unite the two so I swirled and swirled and changed the space from black and white to a scale that I could move upon. I then went into the No-Form and emptied myself real fast!

Animus: I waited in front of the shrine and said that I was here and that I was afraid. Then I felt a pull to come nearer in my body and my heart, so I went closer and then even closer. I started touching myself and asked him to make physical contact with me and I was really turned on and got chills all over my body. I stood there touching myself and I saw pictures of Lestat and the band Deathstars; this Is my animus. I pinched myself and hit my boyfriend’s face on the painting. I sensed violence, brutality, mercilessness and pure egotistical satisfaction. I was a bit scared with the almost torturing like pleasure I felt and wondered if this was not a part of my shadow; the brutality and need to inflict pain. Animus embraced me and we wavered together, he was holding me from behind…it was wonderful and exciting I felt like I had an amazingly fascinating man there with me which was so close to me and my mentor, lover all at once. We danced like for real and then we lay down on the floor and I asked him some questions:

* I asked what I needed to do with my boyfriend: “end it, end it!” * What about the band we have started together? “it is a dead end…you are afraid of having nothing without him, just end it.” * What should I do to feel fuller, to not feel alone? “make choices based on what you just sense is what you want, like when you just took the call of making poster for Artifact. You knew you wanted it immediately. Take more choices based on what you know and sense without thinking, just do it! Also when you need me you can masturbate imagining that it is me or in the form of the Deathstars band or Lestat.” I smiled and thought it was reeeally funny * What can I do to have better sex? “Have sex with more men.” I got the insight that the reason why I’m so turned on with Carlo is because he has this ravaging sexuality of sweeping over women and the same with my boyfriend… that is a projection. * When I felt done I went to the shrine and said goodbye kissing my books and spitting on my boyfriend. I said thank you and went back to the No-Form space and thanked the space and pulled my finger to it, smiling a cunning smile. We both got the humor and he said goodbye, I bowed to the shrine in my minds eye and closed my eyes and entered No-Form. I felt a relief coming over me when I made full contact with myself again and tingling in my whole body, like joy all over. My body was happy I was back.

Week Five: Circuits 4 and 8 The Social Personality, Ethics, and Transcendence

“Don’t let yourself be victimized by the Age you live in. When you put the blame on society, you end up turning to society for the solution. There’s a tendency today to absolve individuals of moral responsibility and treat them as victims of social circumstance. You buy that and you pay with your soul. It’s not men who limit women, it’s not straights who limit gays, it’s not whites who limit blacks. What limits people is lack of character. What limits people is that they don’t have the fucking nerve or imagination to star in their own movies, let alone direct them.” — Tom Robbins (from Still Life With Woodpecker)

Circuit Four Feature Article

Sex and the Eight-Circuit Brain Polymorphous Sexuality in Circuitland

The eight-circuit grid can be used to track, read, and otherwise discover the great variety of human sexual response. As long as we remember that sex, like Life itself, is messy at best—and will never conform to any mental construct we impose upon it—we are free to speculate. As we examine the first four survival-oriented circuits, we’ll see how our sexuality has been, and can be, experienced physically, emotionally, conceptually, and socially—in isolation and in conjunction with each other. When we envision the second four postsurvival circuits, we can imagine and maybe experience how sexuality might act as a vehicle for higher consciousness and unfathomable realities beyond our wildest fantasies in and out of our bodies! C-1 Visceral Sex Picking up the invisible, subtle scent of sex pheromones in others, we can elicit instantaneous reactions of visceral sexual attraction. This can happen so

swiftly, literally under our noses, that we have no time to moralize (C-4), think (C-3), or have feelings (C-2) about it. Acting on the scent of pheromones alone, without considering circuits two, three, or four, can drive us into the heat of impulsive, spontaneous visceral sex. As these impulses gain momentum in action they can accelerate and combust into explosive, volatile, and even violent sex. Some male homosexuals may know more about sexual violence than heterosexual men. In researching his book, You Are Going To Prison (Loompanics Press, 1994), Jim Hogshire discovered that twice as many men are raped inside American prisons each year than women are raped on the outside. C-1 sex is hard-wired to our most basic life and death survival instincts—self-preservation, aggression, “going into heat” and procreation. The growth hormone testosterone exists in both men and women, yet testosterone levels are twice as high in most men than in women. Researcher June Reinisch of Rutgers University discovered that increased testosterone levels in the body produce immediate aggression. Physiologist Julian Davidson performed a study on males with low sex drives. When given more testosterone, all showed an increase in sexual fantasy and desire leading Davidson to conclude that testosterone is “the biological substrate of desire, at least in men.” Consistent overemphasis in C-1 sexuality alone, without incorporating the other circuits, can be dangerous and even fatal. C-2 Emotional Sex In those sexual encounters where we are left feeling attached to the lover, C-2 has been engaged. Emotions express a powerful animistic force not always subject to the comprehension of C-3 intellect or the approval of C-4 morality. When emotions are stirred, they mobilize and travel into the lover’s astral body, just like spirits. If this sounds like voodoo love that’s because emo-sex can be like that. It puts you on pins and needles. Emo-sex always comes with emotional investment whether we want it or not. Emotional sex can satisfy unmet needs for status, security, power, and loyalty. Emotions dwell in our body until they’re aroused by another body showing profound receptivity to ours. If you’re physically absent from somebody that you are emotionally attached to you may find yourself pining—irrationally longing for them— when, in fact, it may be the spirits of your own displaced emotions you’re missing. Emotions have a life of their own and don’t usually bend to the dictates of C-3 reasoning or C-4 ethical considerations.

Emotional sex can also serve the purpose of establishing an attachment to someone, regardless of romantic ideals or images regarding the “perfect partner” or “dream lover,” if only to feel needed. Emo-sex can hide a desperate attempt to establish meaningful connection with someone as a coping mechanism for enduring an otherwise meaningless life—you may not want the attachment but you may need it. C-2 sex can also fuel a mutual dynamic of sadomasochism and bondage resulting in creative or destructive outcomes, depending on how consciously the master/slave roles are played out, and how much care and attention is paid to each other’s limitations and needs. Being tied up and physically immobilized can produce a profound sense of internal security to those whose early infantile needs were never met, given that these power rituals are performed in a climate of total mutual trust. In this way, conscious C-2 Power Sex can also enable greater emotional honesty and intimacy. Heavy emotional involvement can produce an assumed familiarity with the lover, as if we’ve known him/her for a long time, though we may have only recently met. For some, this assumed familiarity can feel invasive or annoying, leading to boundary problems. Emo-sex can also excite the taboo-laden incestual lust of sibling love, a kind of familial romance with someone who feels like our big brother, or little sister, or the nurturing mother, or the good father. Incestual love, not to be confused with literal incest, can also trigger the negative emotions of animosity, sibling rivalry, and other C-2 territorial power struggles. These kinds of infantile passions can make lunatics of us all if personal boundaries are overlooked and traded down for the loss of oneself in the other. Losing self-respect can corrode even the most strident confessions of love. Significant emotional bonds also develop without warning between lovers shouldering traumas together—miscarriage or abortion, extramarital affairs, domestic violence, divorce, death of parents, etc.—and between soldiers at war or with police officers bonding amidst criminal adversity and danger. C-3 Mental Sex Sexual experiences that leave you chatty, by either talking to yourself or chewing the ears off lovers who’ll listen, have activated C-3 conceptual intelligence. Watch for a lot of phone. A propensity towards mental sex suggests that you may need more communication before you are sexually

turned on. C-3 dualistic intellect can be attracted to sexual ambiguities, a quality some may interpret as bisexuality. Ambiguity, however, is not a bisexual condition but a human condition regardless of sexual orientation. If you’re aroused by ambiguity or androgyny, the promise of confounding complexity may arouse you. Those who find ambiguity erotic may naturally shy away from commitment in lieu of staying open to the options of their fickle fancy. C-3 mental sex can also mean that thinking, talking, and fantasizing about sex can be more scintillating than the actual experience. The tease and the chase may prove a greater turn-on than actually getting caught and nailed. Sometimes talking about sex can also act as a protective measure to inhibit the lovers from engaging in “dead sex” when their relations have gone underground and become temporarily stagnant. Without sexual heat, it may be wiser to read in bed together or take in a movie. Talking about sexual fantasies, writing erotic stories, and engaging in phone sex are all obvious examples of C-3 mental sex. C-3 sex represents the sexual polarity of exhibitionism and voyeurism: the thrill of physical distance, strong visual stimulus, and being seen or seeing another engaged in a sexual act. If you are turned on by the reality or the fantasy of watching someone else enjoying sex with him/herself or with another, you are aroused by voyeuristic passions. If you are turned on by the reality or the fantasy of others watching you having sex with yourself or with another, you are feeling exhibitionistic passions. Both sides of this C-3 mental sex Polarity—being seen and seeing—act on the body in erotic ways. When the sense of sight plays such a clearly dominant role, the C-3 mind drives the sexual drama. C-4 Sexual Tribes and Customs The most commonly used terms for sexuality—heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, pansexual, asexual, transsexual—act as sociopolitical labels to categorize and organize personal and tribal needs for security, status, sociopolitical identity, and a sense of belonging. Each of these sociopolitical labels represents a different sexual tribe claiming its own distinct customs, rituals, fetishes, icons, codes, and overall force of culture, subculture, and micro culture. As most people are openly heterosexual, they form the dominator sexual culture around which all other sexual tribes compete and struggle for autonomy and equality for legal rights taken for granted by

heterosexuals, i.e., marriage, welfare, child rearing, etc. Sexual orientation holds no prerequisite for tribal identity. We can know ourselves as sexual creatures without joining a tribe of others who share the same sexual orientation. The C-4 need for belonging can be satisfied in ways that defy assimilation into, and by, any sexual tribal mind or identity. Those who do not make an issue of their sexual orientation, or the orientations of others, can more easily link up with those of differing sexual realities.

Sexuality expresses a highly personal reality rooted in specific internal and external conditions and cues, fetishes, and settings that arouse us and keep us aroused. Our lovers know who we truly are by the way we make love. The conditions for personal arousal are as diversified and complex as the greater variety of human sexual response. C-4 sexual coupling, regardless of sexual orientation, revolves around the neurochemical dance leading to orgasm and its release of neuromuscular tension through intense physical pleasure. Sex also serves as a vehicle for emotional and social bonding, and procreation for hetero breeders and for artificially inseminated, domesticating lesbians. Sex with friends. C-4 social sex also includes friends with favors. These

interactions have far less emotional investment and more autonomy granted between partners, who come and go without the constant “checking in” that more emotional investment seems to demand. Sex with friends can also serve as an important interval between our more emotionally invested sexual relations where the social value of intimacy can be restored and maintained. All too often the bonds of sexual intimacy break down from a lack of true friendship between lovers. Without the social context of shared friendship, the primordial sexual instinct can easily become unfriendly, even hostile. Sex with enemies. When we become sexually involved with lovers whose values and morals—or lack thereof—are eventually revealed to be at war with our own principles, the relations become a testing ground for our own ethics. This can happen whenever our own ethical code has become obsolete and requires updating or, when we need to define our ethics more specifically. Sometimes we discover the true nature of our ethics by confronting what they’re not. Without this step of self-examination of our own ethical code, sex with enemies can easily degenerate into the unsavory blame games of mutual scapegoating, sadism and self-torment. C-5 Tantric Sex Beyond C-4 sexual realities the playing field opens up considerably. C-5 sexual tantra bypasses C-4 orgasm-as-a-goal orientation in lieu of exploring sexuality as a vehicle for extended durations of rapture and bliss, and the charismatic balancing of masculine and feminine energies within the body. As C-5 dakinis and yogis become more liberated from C-2 possessiveness and C4 consensus moral restraints, polyamorous “open relationships” can develop between agreeing parties. New models of intimacy are born and sustained by shared post-survival values such as pleasure, leisure and ecstatic play. As with the other upper circuits, advancement through the somatic fifth circuit can also bring its own unique set of problems to be faced and dealt with. When the levels of ecstasy exceed the threshold of what either lover can tolerate, the ego can automatically slow things down by acting out old habit patterns such as C-4 moralizing, C-3 over-thinking, C-2 possessiveness and C1 distrust and fear. In this way, the ego acts as an emergency brake to minimize pleasure and happiness too intense to contain. How much rapture and joy can a person take?

When our capacity for ecstasy is overwhelmed, we may find it necessary to fixate on something as familiar, banal and mundane as our personal problems or even project them onto our lover. This buzz-kill may seem wrong but it’s sobering effects cannot be ignored. Sometimes resistance to intense pleasure and joy can be a relevant warning signal for rechecking our limits, recalibrating our capacities, and restabilizing (grounding) our energies. C-6 Sex Magick When lovers are initiated into C-6 electric sex, they can benefit from the many esoteric traditions of sex magick or, create their own. C-6 sex engages the more subtle medium of our Central Nervous System (CNS), igniting the energetic body of the aura and chakras. Occult lodges such as the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, the O.T.O., Thelema and their numerous offshoots practice various ritual technologies of sex magick incorporating symbols towards achieving premeditated ends (C-3/C-6). With some sex magickians the long-term effect of these rituals can be so remarkable that when compared with the energetic bodies of most humans, theirs stand out like alien space beings. There’s probably good reason why these rituals remain esoteric and I suspect it’s because sex magick isn’t for everybody. C-6 sex magick can often start with C-5 somatic sex but it can also occur without actual physical contact. When the energetic bodies of lovers are turned on, sensuality can transmute into the supersensual neuro-orgasms of brain pleasure. Imagine the warm, glowing rushes of electromagnetic energy circulating within, around, and between them. Electricity travels at the speed of light—in or out of the body—and sex magick practitioners learn to act as conduits for its absorption, integration and transmission. Actual physical orgasm may be completely unnecessary or, in the case of nervous system over-amping, orgasm can become important for releasing and grounding the excess charge (the C-1 Salt Bath ritual can also help to neutralize excess electromagnetic energy in the physical body and can be useful in cases of insomnia). Of course, it helps tremendously if sex magick lovers are also emotionally mature enough to support each other’s autonomy and freedom of self-expression—the anchoring action of C-2 to C-6. C-7 Planetary, or Archetypal, Sex Certain sexual experiences of an archetypal nature can be so powerful and

overwhelming that none of the previous six circuit orientations can contain or define their transformative energies. These sexual encounters defy the romance of hot sex, emo-sex, falling in love, getting married, having babies, plus any other known categories of casual sex, tantra, polyamory, or sex magick. The lovers involved in these mysteries may feel an encompassing pull of fate towards each other, as if they were meeting again from some previous incarnation or past life (not as a concept but as a fully-embodied experience). There can be a kind of meltdown of their present-life personas that leave the lovers in a terribly vulnerable, essence-to-essence fusion experience, helpless to stop it, or to do anything about it. As the heat and light of bio-psychic energies accelerates between them, a stream of images flood their consciousness as their minds grapple with labels and behaviors in an attempt to manage the confounding reality. No image fits; many explode into thin air. Nobody knows just how to act and no previous categories are found. On realizing all of this, the lovers either run far away from each other or hold their ground and surrender to the experience together. If they surrender, new information emerges about how to serve these transformative energies, seeing how they obviously cannot be controlled. In a state of continual surrender, the lovers may dawn on the solemn revelation that the Earth itself may be arranging their meeting and that these energies are not personal but planetary forces using them as conduits for feeding the planetary entity. The lovers may still engage in rapturous somatic and electric sex, but now they become aware of a larger cosmic ceremony involving a third partner in the planet Earth itself; a planetary menage-a-trois. How this ritual unfolds may differ with each dyad depending on their personalities, culturally conditioned programs and intuitive sensibilities. This event, and its ritual, formed the basis of my book, The Akashic Record Player (Falcon Press, 1988) wherein a couple engages the Earth as a third conduit of a trinary circuit for circulating their combined currents to feed the planet (also see “A Neurolological Autobiography” in HOW I GOT THIS WAY). Impossible Love: The Anima and the Animus Love affairs that begin and attempt to maintain themselves in the subterranean romance of psychic projection, or what Carl Jung calls “anima/animus transference,” can lead to very brief and very intense episodes of archetypal, catastrophic sex (also see Circuit Seven, “Numen of Archetypes” and

“Anima-Animus”). The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. In these episodes, the ego is easily overwhelmed in the face of these unconscious projections of “the dream lover” and all its inflated expectations of living up to impossible ideals. Enter the melodrama of unattainable, impossible love. As the lovers’ egos fail to deliver on the inflated promise of big archetypal love, the romance backfires and devolves into humiliation, resentment, and animosity between lovers. The once exalted presence of “ideal love” and “the dream lover” suddenly downshifts into a nonstop catastrophic romance of C-2 emo-sex, territorial pissing, and control trips. If it cannot be stopped or if neither lover has enough sense to leave, the animosity can degenerate into psychic, emotional and physical violence and damage. Self-healing can come through enforced solitude (isolation deflates the ego) and any soul-retrieval rituals that support disidentification and differentiation from the archetypes themselves (see Circuit Seven, “The Anima/Animus Shrine”). C-8 Dreambody Sex C-8 dreambody (or disembodied) sex occurs in our dreams and in the more extreme waking out-of body experiences where two or more energy fields, independent of their physical bodies, unite for reasons of their own. In the midst of out-of-body experiences and other types of astral projections, the playing field opens up to infinite possibilities. Whether we experience dreambody sex in the erotic escapades of our night dreams or in our more disembodied daytime sexual fantasies, C-8 sex always occurs out of body, or in a disembodied state. The dreambody can also use the physical sex act as a kind of launching pad for astral projection, as with those post-orgasm experiences where consciousness drifts out of body, passes through hypnogogic corridors and takes flight over limitless, nonlocal terrains. We wake up feeling as if we have traveled somewhere and, we have! Dreambody sex may also be linked to the mysteries of near-death experiences, anesthetic out of body events in surgery rooms, and onto the more extremely disembodied extraterrestrial, interdimensional sex reported after alien abductions.

The Eight-Circuit Brain Course

Week Five: Circuits Four and Eight The Social Personality, Ethics, and Transcendence Inside a magician’s black bag, two mirrors were facing each other in a game of infinity when the magician asked, “What did one mirror say to the other?” A. It’s all done with people. OVERVIEW This week marks the final task-heavy week of this course. For those who feel left behind, this 8-week course was designed to allot its final two to three weeks for catching up to speed. Feel free to move between all the circuit tasks according to your available time, energy and commitment levels. This week we start examining how C-4 Social Intelligence incorporates the previous three circuits into a complex web of personal behaviors, habits, and tendencies in an attempt to fit into tribal and collective realities. We’ll also look at how the first four circuits represent stages of ego-development. We will also examine the vertical connections between C-4 and C-8, including the shocks of impermanence, void, and non-locality. Course Book Readings: If you have Angel Tech, read pages 56–62 and pages 113–124. WRITING ASSIGNMENT #1: C-4 Attraction Criteria Check List List five conditions, attributes, or qualities that must be present in another person for you to be attracted to them as sexual partners. WRITING ASSIGNMENT #2: C-8 Out of Body Experiences Write down any events that you would qualify as an out-of-body experience that can include those dreams that seemed to you more like an out-of-body experience than a dream.

INTRODUCTION: C-4/C-8 VERTICALITY C-4 Social Intelligence incorporates the previous three circuits into a highly complex web of interrelated needs, responses, and agendas for developing the personality for social and cultural survival. When C-4 is pursued as an end in itself, we become socialized by a chain of rituals—from courtship, to mating, to marriage, to domestication, to raising a family, to joining different clubs and groups or religions while working five days a week into retirement and death. It’s not a bad life and most people settle for it. When C-4 finds its verticality with C-8 nonlocality, the social purpose of our lives undergoes radical transformation. We can no longer proceed merely as domesticated cogs in a death-ignorant society. Any persistent awareness of our mortality and the objective truth of Impermanence changes all of that. Like a snake shedding old skin, when C-4 links to C-8 our life outgrows its previous survival-oriented purposes. In one way, nothing changes. Through this C-4/C-8 verticality we can still maintain a satisfying personal life complete with all the physical, emotional, conceptual, and social pleasures and trappings. The only thing missing would be ego-identification. By absorbing the C-8 shocks of Impermanence and formless void, we discover that we are not our C1 body, not our C-2 status symbols, not our C-3 concepts, self-images and/or beliefs and not our C-4 personality. Nor are we our bliss (C-5), our CNS (C6), or DNA (C-7). Well then, who are we then? Who are we, really? At the level of C-8 consciousness any remnant of separate ego totally vanishes into deep intimacy and merging with the Void within and around us—Void as true nature. We are nothing and it’s not a problem. We return to our true nature as an expression of the Great Enveloping Abyss of Existence and NonExistence. Given enough C-4 social integration, this metaphysical C-8 event can be anchored in our daily lives like an open window to the Infinite. We can know ourselves as the formless, timeless nature of Reality itself. We stand in awe and then, continue with our lives.

“Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity.” — Albert Einstein Though I am not a Buddhist myself, I view Buddhism as a classic example of how a strong C-4 socially-based religion can act as a support system for absorbing and integrating the C-8 shocks of impermanence and for maintaining an active intimacy with the indivisible and fertile void, basic tenets of Buddhism. A sophisticated socio-moral structure—as outlined in The Noble Eight-Fold Path (no connection with the 8-Circuit Brain)—resides at the heart of Buddhist doctrine. The many branches of Buddhist practice— Theravada, Mahayana, Tibetan Bon, Zazen, Vipassana—all approach

intimacy with Void and meditations on formlessness as a path to enlightenment. Unlike the more anarchist nature spirituality of Taoism, the social and the spiritual practice of Buddhism is married to the mundane rituals of everyday life for good reason. Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

Social Intelligence, Guilt, and Conscience “The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemmingin, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.” — Rainer Maria Rilke I and Thou—“Relationship” vs. “Honest Relating” Social intelligence does not depend so much on our capacity to do, feel or think, though all of these attributes certainly come into play when we socialize. Our social intelligence expresses how well we relate with other people. What does this really mean to relate? If we do things for another, are we relating to them? No, they don’t have to be present for us to do things for them. When we have feelings for another, are we relating to them yet? No, not unless they are also feeling what we’re feeling. When we think of someone, are we relating to them? Only in our minds. If we assume that any of these modes of doing, feeling or thinking (C-1, C-2, C-3 respectively) means we are actually relating with another person, we can unwittingly delude ourselves into fabricating something we label as a “relationship” even if no actual relating happens! What if there was no such thing as a “relationship.” We are either relating with each other or we are not.

The word “relationship” is a noun that, when imposed over the fluid organic process of relating, can slowly encase intimacy like some cooked pheasant under glass. What we assume to be a relationship may actually represent an attachment or a need structure—a simulation of relating—expressing more self-involvement than any process of honest relating with another person. Honest relating comes easier for some than for others. Consider the doomed romance of lovers who profess powerful feelings for the other, can’t stop thinking of the other, and do all kinds of things for each other, while treating each other badly. When one lover or friend leaves the room, the relating ends. Though one may start missing the other or start fantasizing about them, the actual relating with the person has ended, despite all of our thoughts and feelings and memories to the contrary. Honest relating refers to real time, in-person interaction where physical, emotional, verbal, and social signals can be experienced firsthand, unlike internet “relationships” that depend solely on text, virtual images &/or audio bytes. Honest relating recognizes the presence of another person and responds to that presence in present time. Philosopher Martin Buber’s vision of relating, “I and Thou”, reflects this well. According to Buber, human beings may adopt two attitudes toward the world: I and Thou or I and It. I-Thou is a relation of subject-to-subject, while I-It is a relation of subject-to-object. In I-Thou relations we are aware of each other as having a unity of being; we do not perceive each other as consisting of specific, isolated qualities, but engage in a dialogue involving each other’s whole being. In I-It relations, we perceive each other as consisting of specific isolated qualities that we desire or like, and come to know the other by what we want and can get from them. I-Thou expresses a dynamic of mutuality and reciprocity, while I-It conveys an expanding measure of separateness and detachment. We relate through our behavior and how we treat each other. When enough actual relating has occurred between people, social bonds naturally develop allowing us to safely assume that the relating will probably continue; maybe not in the same way but that it will probably continue. True relating can be a creative and even spiritual event when it sustains a spirit of improvisation and play. Can any true relating ever be planned? As individuals continue seeing each other in real time and stay committed to honest interactions, their shared experiences gain emotional and intellectual depth. Perhaps what crushes

spontaneous social interaction and honest relating more than anything are the oppressive forces of a guilty conscience, excessive self-consciousness, and bogus modesty. Morality, Ethics and the Spring-Action Reflex of Guilt Unchecked, repressed, and overwhelming guilt may be the greatest impediment to genuine relating. Guilt inhibits the flow of spontaneity that real relating demands. Guilt binds consciousness to the past while corrupting our capacity to be fully present with another person. Unjustified guilt—guilt for no apparent present time reasons—distorts our personality with excessive self-consciousness and leaves us feeling socially inept and embarrassed. Left unattended, guilt doesn’t just disappear but turns into resentment and toxic emotional sludge. Guilt sucks. Guilt sucks the air right out of the room. Passive-aggressive, adaptive behavior. As long as we suffer from a guilty conscience, we cannot truly relate openly and directly with others. Unchecked guilt can unconsciously force us into indirect, manipulative, and passiveaggressive modes of interaction. Unconscious guilt can also motivate the kind of false adaptive behavior for contriving our reactions to become more attractive or lovable to another. This adaptive behavior creates a kind of lockup account of the heart, where we can never feel loved for who we truly are but for a false face we have created and are expected to maintain. Before social intelligence can be increased, guilt must be exposed and dealt with. If we think we don’t feel or have any guilt, we may have effectively repressed it. If so, an unconscious guilt complex may be pulling our strings. The psychopath. For those who have given up on humanity and resigned themselves to the misanthropic mindset of the sociopath, guilt is a non-issue. The issue for psychopaths is more about whether or not the absence of social conscience results from accident or intention. Some accidental, or naive, psychopaths were raised without any real moral structure and enforcement. Many fatherless children become naive sociopaths. Then there are those naive psychopaths that are, by their very nature, amoral personality types. Neither moral nor immoral, the amoral person simply does not care about “right and wrong” distinctions. The intentional psychopaths are those socially corrosive personalities who, in one way or another, purposefully act out their hatred of humanity on the lives and reputations of others whom they do not necessarily

know personally. Enter the natural born killers, the mercenary predators, the homicidal maniacs, the power-starved rapists, the religious terrorists, the greed-monger CEOs, the pedophile priests, and all the other sociopathic threats to individual life in society. Guilt expresses a negative emotional reaction to betraying someone’s moral or ethical code that we have been conditioned to care about, whether it’s our own or our mom’s. Morality and ethics—two terms commonly confused for the same thing. I understand morality as any code of conduct inherited from society, family, and church/religion that defines, often times in black and white terms, what exactly constitutes bad behavior and good behavior, a good person and an evil person. We were raised and conditioned by the morality of whoever acted as our parents. Whether they were genetically related or authority figures in foster homes, nuns in the orphanage, wardens in prison, drill sergeants in military school, etc., all moralities function by a reward and punishment system. Violate the code and you are punished, i.e., you eat moral guilt. Conform to the code and you are rewarded, i.e., you eat moral pride. Ethics, as I use this term, express a personally defined code of conduct developed by making a series of tough decisions based on our judgment calls that determine the right course of action. When I say “right course of action,” I mean according to the individual making the assessments and the decisions. As these tough decisions continue being made, a personal ethos eventually forms and consolidates to form the bedrock of our conscience. When we learn to abide by this code, our conscience acts as a guiding principle in our lives. The degree to which we do not define and live by our own ethical codes is the degree the guilt complexes inherited from external moralities continue their grip on our psyches. To your own conscience be true or else, continue regurgitating the external moralities of society, family, school, and church. Developing a real conscience is obviously not for everybody. Not everyone is ready to take a stand and speak their truth, regardless of whether or not it finds agreement with the consensus. True conscience demands from us, and gives to us, increasing measures of courage, integrity and commitment. Spontaneous vs. Mechanical Guilt Two styles of guilt: spontaneous and mechanical. Spontaneous guilt stems from violating your own ethical code; mechanical guilt stems from violating an externally imposed morality. Both types of guilt can feel very similar with the

exception of one significant difference. The spontaneous guilt of violating your own code rarely happens after the act of violation occurs. The mechanical guilt of violating external moralities can happen before, during, and after the act. See for yourself. The next time you feel the onset of guilt, ask yourself if it’s happening before the intended act or behavior, or during and/or after it. When the feeling of guilt arrives before taking action, you may be about to do something you personally disapprove of. The warning signal of spontaneous guilt also means you have not been punished yet. When guilt arises during and/or after the act, it is too late; there was no warning. You have been punished. If you proceed to violate your own code of ethics, you may naturally feel remorse and regret for betraying yourself. If you violate an externally imposed moral code, you will probably feel the automatic oppression of a punishing guilt; the emotion of becoming a no-good shit. Mechanical guilt comes from violating a code that you did not create yourself and that was manufactured by external sources. Mechanical guilt can be traced back to family, societal, and religious morals we passively and unconsciously absorbed without questioning whether they were actually true for us or not. We all undergo similar kinds of conditioning as children until we succumb to its machinations, or rebel. Yet it may not be enough to simply rebel if we do not also replace the old robotic morality with a freshly minted code we can live by. Defining your own ethical code constitutes a creative act. This is why betraying your own code produces spontaneous guilt and not the mechanical guilt resulting from violating a prefab morality assimilated long ago that you may no longer believe in, or never believed in the first place. Family guilt keeps the kids in line and close to the hub with the ties that bind. Some of us suffer more family guilt than others. These are the late-bloomers in life whose burden of heavy family guilt complexes requires more time to sort things out to differentiate from clan identity. For others, the ancestral moral traditions serve them well enough and there is no need to change anything. For those seeking liberation from these ties that bind, the way out is through the gauntlet of defining your own code of ethics and demonstrating the audacity to live by it. As we define and live by our own ethical code, we also step outside the boundaries of consensus morality and risk social banishment. If we violate consensus morality, those who are consensus-identified may call us names with labels such as ‘freak,’ ‘weirdo,’ ‘failure,’ ‘idiot,’ and maybe even

‘evil’ if we’re perceived as a threat to herd mentality by persisting to exist beyond the comprehension of sheep. Those who continue fighting and rebelling against the established dominator moral culture risk persecution and scapegoating by the enforcers of herd morality. Fighting against “the man,” or “the machine,” or “the state” proves as futile as a common housefly caught in the web of a giant spider; whatever we fight against absorbs us. Those who wise up to a more progressive revolt have discovered what is actually worth fighting for. Whatever is worth fighting for defines the good fight. When we know what is worth fighting for, there is no point in wasting our time and energy fighting against anything or anybody. As for me, the good fight amounts to fighting for consciousness itself and its unfettered expansion. As consciousness expands, we perceive more reality. As we see more, we are better informed about what we actually care about and what we honestly don’t care for (trying to care about everything ends up caring about nothing). Unfettered expansion of consciousness evolves into conscience, a code that guides us according to our vision, rather than the unconscious dictates of inherited moral considerations.

C-4 TASKS INTRODUCTION If you let the first four circuits symbolize interdependent levels of ego development, then you can see how the personality develops and matures through the absorption, integration, and transmission of our various physical, emotional, conceptual and social realities. The more developed and integrated our personality, the more socially complex we become. As we embrace our own complexity, our so-called “contradictions,” we can allow more complexity in others and more chaos in the social spheres. A strong, supple personality is flexible enough to bear the manifestations of others, their successes and failures, whether we are in agreement with them or not. As we individuate, we find greater tolerance for differences we perceive in others. As our own autonomy and authority increase, we can allow more autonomy and authority in others. We are only as liberated as the freedom we can permit in others. Each of the following C-4 social tasks tests the degree to which C-4 has been integrated. In review, here are some reliable signposts to detect integration throughout the first four circuits (allowing for your own semantic adjustments): 1) “I am a survivor and can restore my sense of personal safety when threatened.” 2) “I feel where I am emotionally invested and I know what’s important to me.” 3) “I think for myself and use my own words to communicate my experiences.” 4) “I can relate with almost anyone until my ethics are challenged.” If and when you start to falter in any one of the following C-4 tasks, see if you can trace the social insecurity back to the circuit(s) causing the problem and then make whatever adjustments necessary. C-4 TASK #1 THE TRUE FRIENDSHIP CRITERIA

What constitutes friendship differs for each of us. One person’s best friend can be another person’s worst enemy. In terms that are personal and true to your experience, what makes friendships meaningful and important to you? 1) List the specific qualities, conditions and virtues that you expect to be present in another person, or in the circumstances you share, before you can form a meaningful friendship. 2) Once you have completed your list, review it and cross out or erase those qualities and virtues that you personally are unwilling or unable to embody and abide by. Whatever is left amounts to your true friendship criteria. NOTE: The first list expresses your expectations. If you can meet these expectations within yourself, you are ready to share them with others who also meet your standards. If you cannot meet these standards yourself, while expecting others to meet them, you may be enacting social hypocrisy. Task #1 Ritual: Make an attempt to start one new friendship this week. If you fail, fret not; what matters is that you make an attempt. C-4 TASK #2 THE SOCIAL TRUST RITUAL For People Who Don’t Trust People The experience of trust is important to social bonding. Without enough direct experience of trust, it can become easier to fall prey to social isolation, bitterness, and misanthropy. The word “trust” is often misunderstood as a synonym for “expect.” When we say “I trust you” or “I can’t trust you” see if it hides an unspoken expectation. When you catch yourself using the word “trust,” either verbally or in your head, replace it with the word “expect” and see if any missing information surfaces. Trust in another person develops over time as their behavior demonstrates certain patterns of consistency. For example, every time you see Joe in the market he stops and talks to you about his recent sexual conquests. Over time you may learn that you can trust Joe to talk about that. This demonstrates what I call trust. Every time you see Joe, it’s highly probable that he will brag about his conquests; he can be trusted to do that. Though you may feel uncomfortable with Joe being alone with your lover, it doesn’t have to destroy your experience of trust. You can trust that Joe will probably flirt with him/her.

The point here is to rebuild your direct experience of trust itself without confusing it with hidden expectations. The experience of trust does not have to be damaged if you can be completely honest about what you can trust in a person, based on time-proven consistencies of their behavior, action, and word. Trust is also not the same as faith. Faith signals a hunch, a gamble, a leap of faith requiring no previous information to proceed. But trust demands a time-intensive process to produce enough consistency to earn the sense that it will continue. Due to the naturally unpredictable nature of human behavior, social trust needs to be earned. The Ritual Task In the course of your daily life take note of any patterns of consistency in those closest to you. It’s not important to tell them about it, as that could just render them self-conscious. Tell yourself what each person can be trusted for, or depended on for, based on their time-proven pattern of consistency. The results may be more humorous than you expected. Apply this observation to people you have “trust issues” with, that you have deemed “untrustworthy.” Observe and be informed how they can be trusted beyond your expectations for them to act or behave in a certain way. After increasing your experience of trust in their presence, note any change in how they relate with you. Also, notice any changes in the way you relate with them. Record your results in the Lab book. C-4 TASK #3 TALKING WITH STRANGERS This simple ritual requires only that you initiate at least one conversation in the course of the week with a complete stranger. Your aim is to discover what, if any, interests or values or ideals or feelings or thoughts or beliefs you may, or may not, have in common. Pay attention to the levels of tension in various areas of your body during moments of confusion, disagreement, or judgment. The aim of this ritual is to challenge C-4 intelligence by responding to the novelty of this social situation. This is not about making friends, unless that happens naturally, but rather about testing your social intelligence. Record your results in the Lab book. C-4 TASK #4 THE EGO CORROSIVE RITUAL This is a C-4 intelligence test. Schedule an evening or afternoon to attend any

gathering or event that you would normally avoid due to your own political, aesthetic, intellectual, social and/or cultural biases, tastes, and preferences. The aim of this ritual is to enter an unfamiliar social setting to discover something of value beyond your own prejudices, as well as to expose any excessive rigidity in your own thinking, beliefs, ethics, and/or aesthetics. Consider this an ego-corrosive ritual for rounding out the sharper corners of your personality that can sometimes poke people when you’re not looking. Record your results in the Lab book.

The Eight-Circuit Brain Course

Circuit 8 Quantum Nonlocal Intelligence Consciousness Projection, Dreamtime, Formless Identity

“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” — Charles Bukowski

Circuit Eight Feature Article

The End of the World As I Want It An Incantation (to be read out loud) O GOD OF THE END OF THE WORLD, I am afraid to take you seriously; tell me you’re only kidding, show me how to be a greater fool than I already am by making me laugh at death without forgetting my mortality. O GODDESS OF BEAUTY IS BETTER THAN TRUTH, I am embarrassed by my need to be right all the time. Send me your most gorgeous drop-dead image, the Mother of All Visions, the vision that outgrows and destroys all other visions including itself, so I can see through myself when I am lying. O WRATHFUL DEITIES OF DOOMSAYING EVANGELICALS & DOGMATIC LITTLE BIGOTS, I am bored to tears with my intolerances. Grant me the enchantment to be entertained by the hidden pixie agendas behind all dreary, dismal grey-faced warnings so I can stop taking myself more seriously than the life I am actually living. O DEMIGOD OF POETIC TERRORISM, I am utterly and royally confused. Make me go crazy in the name of Creation, not Destruction, so I may freely sabotage the literalist virus immobilizing my imagination and learn to incite riots in the minds asleep to your splendor and glory. O GODS & GODDESSES OF EVERYBODY’S HOLY GUARDIAN ANGEL, I am fucked up beyond all recognition. Trick me into not knowing whether I am really a good person or really a bad person. Give me the wisdom to never believe my own PR and what other people think of me, no matter how much money they pay me. Deepen my gratitude for being a nobody in a world of wannabe somebodies and other hungry ghosts, so I can be touched in the head by your benevolence and tell your truths without wanting the credit. — AHMEN and AH!WOMAN!

C-8 Tasks INTRODUCTION Anyone seriously dedicated to expanding their consciousness using the 8Circuit Brain model can, over time, achieve palpable results. Two aftereffects I have noticed over two and a half decades of experimentation are: 1) Acceleration of perception results in perceiving more reality and becoming more sensitized to the subtle energies within and around us. These upper circuit openings require lower circuit support. 2) Once certain doors of perception are opened, there can be no reversing the process or turning back. Not everyone we meet can, should, or will understand you or join us in this journey. As a result, we can count on social alienation as part of the territory of consciousness research. In this light, your circle of friends (C-4) remains a critical support system for anchoring C-8 experience. The masses that maintain the narcotic hallucination of consensus reality will not follow us. Those exploring and manifesting higher consciousness must bear a moral responsibility to themselves and to those they care about. Moral responsibility means becoming fully accountable for yourself. As Gurdjieff suggests, “become a man or a woman without quotation marks.” As we expand our consciousness, we can perceive more reality and discover what we actually do and do not care about. Consciousness expansion leads to conscience. We sharpen our conscience, our compass, by asking ourselves big questions and mustering up the courage to address and/or answer them. What is worth fighting for? What makes my life worth living? What am I living for? Who am I? Without conscience we remain chained to family and societal moralities, and carry the cross of inherited guilt complexes that are based upon rules and regulations we never approved of or created in the first place. Knowing Who Your Friends Are C-4 integration takes on many forms but usually starts with knowing who your friends are. Where are your peers and your peeps, your people? With whom do you share a common-unity? A C-8 safety net can be established by forming

bonds with like-minded others. Without true friendships and the sense of tribal belonging that comes along with them, any strident pursuit of C-8 out-of-body experience runs the risk of turning into a one-way disembodied death trip. Know who your friends are. Living Without a Self-image C-8 introduces the fertile void as an experience. One way to cultivate intimacy with void is to expose and relax the C-4 social persona, that self-image generally preserved for impressing others. The social persona can be exposed and relaxed during any state of genuine embarrassment if the vanity buffer of ‘saving face’ can be bypassed—we blow our cover, make a fool of ourselves, and stand naked in the light. With practice, this process can support the C-8 experiment of living without a self-image. No longer identified with a selfimage, you are free to be nobody. Experiment with this for an afternoon.

NOTE: The following C-8 tasks do not promise C-8 activation. Their effectiveness depends on your state of readiness for the experience and the existing conditions of C-4 social support in your life. C-8 TASK #1: CONSCIOUS PROJECTION RITUAL The Setting: Any room where you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least twenty minutes. Room temperature should be moderate. Wear clothes that are loose enough to allow your body to breathe. Eat a light but protein-rich meal one to two hours before doing this. Optimum time would be between 10 pm and midnight, though any time can work as long as it is relatively quiet, with no sudden noises. Place a chair near the center of the room. 1) Preliminary Meditation. Use the C-6 Conscious Trance technique but skip the “Scan the Chakras” part. Just run the mix of earth and cosmic energies for approx. 10 to 15 minutes. 2) As the energy is running through your body, get a sense of or “see” one of

the upper corners of the room (eyes closed). Project your consciousness there and let it perch in that upper corner for a slow count of ten, continue running the energies in your body. Then bring your consciousness back into your body. With eyes still closed, get a sense of or “see” a different upper corner of the room and project your consciousness there, while continuing to run the energies. 3) After a slow count of ten, come back into your body. This time, project your astral body behind your physical body so that you are standing behind your seated physical body for a slow count of ten. Enter your body from behind and then clap your hands loudly while whispering, speaking or shouting your name, whatever tone best serves the situation. 4) Break Trance. Bend over and growl like an animal. Stand up, stretch your muscles, and jump around a bit. C-8 TASK #2: THE DREAMING RITUAL This ritual can take up to a week to prepare for, as it requires the dream recall of three separate movements from your dreams (the following article will clarify this). Once you have these three movements you will be ready to execute the rest of the ritual which takes anywhere from one to two hours. The physical warm-up cycle introduced in the C-5 solo polarization ritual works very well as a preparation for this ritual. This ritual can be done indoors or outdoors with at least 10 ft. x 10 ft. of open floor or ground space and, no external interruptions (no cell phones, music, or social visits). NOTE: This Dreaming ritual could be the most demanding and complex of all the rituals presented in this course. If you do not have the time, energy, or commitment to follow it all the way through, I suggest skipping it and moving on to other C-8 Tasks and maybe return to this ritual at a later date.

Non-Interpretive Dreamwork for the Energetic Body

The ParaTheatrical ReSearch group at Pinnacles Wilderness Park This dreaming ritual was inspired by an auspicious meeting with Aborigine, or Koori, elder Guboo Ted Thomas in Boulder circa 1985. Though I developed the ritual structure and intention, Guboo initiated an awareness in me that brought this dreaming ritual to life (read my interview with Guboo in my book, Towards an Archeology of the Soul, Vertical Pool, 2003). This ritual involves piecing together kinetic elements from our night dreams into a precise choreography that, when performed fully conscious, can trigger the forces, images, and emotions innate to the dreams these movements originated from. When done with full commitment, this ritual can catalyze at least four levels of the energetic body: 1. Social: to dissolve the alienation caused by imposed arbitrary boundaries 2. Mental: to exercise the specific dream recall of movement in dreams 3. Emotional: to bypass psychological interpretation in lieu of catharsis 4. Physical: to experience the dream in action through the senses This ritual is kinetic; to do it, you have to move your body. This approach is non-interpretive; it does not require that you know (or try to figure out) what your dream means. By relaxing the search for meaning, an innate meaning can eventually emerge on its own. The dream has its own story to tell us. There is also nothing you need to believe or disbelieve for this to work. Do the ritual and find out for yourself.

The Movements The first step is to recall a movement from your dream. It can be any movement—the turn of your head, bouncing up and down, walking. This movement does not have to have been executed by you; it just has to originate in your dream. However, the movement you select must be one you can physically repeat upon waking the next morning. These movements can come from more than one dream. When you have a movement, practice it throughout the day. This can help create a somatic memory for future recall when it is time to execute the actual ritual. The best time to do your movement is anytime. As you do your movement, stay as close as possible to the way it actually appeared to you in the dream. Do not embellish it in any way; keep it pure. This can help contain the power of the dreaming within the movement. As you perform your movement, it may trigger memories and/or emotions associated with the dream. If this happens, let them come and go. Do not try and analyze what they mean. The “meaning” will arrive when the dream itself delivers it. Before going to sleep, ask yourself to remember a new dream movement. When you find your next movement, execute it immediately upon awaking. If and when dream memory falters, lie still in bed a few minutes; listen and pay attention to whatever comes up. Do this new movement throughout the day, just like the other one. When it’s time to go to sleep again, stalk one more movement and practice it the next day. When you have three separate movements drawn from dreams, you are ready to begin the choreography. Three movements is the minimum for this ritual to work, though I have personally used four and five movements to good effect. Keep it simple. Don’t use movements that can potentially injure you or overcomplicate the choreography. Feel free to also replace any existing movement that fails to work for you with a new dream movement. Building the Movement Cycle When you have practiced these dream movements separately, you are ready to connect them all into a movement cycle that forms the mechanical stage of this Dreaming Ritual. When you are ready to do this, return to the ritual space of the controlled indoor or outdoor setting referred to earlier. Perform whatever actions are necessary to own the space of this setting and then

practice each movement separately to refresh your kinetic memory. Your choreography begins by “stitching” the end of the first movement to the beginning of the second movement to form a longer movement combining the two (it doesn’t matter which of the three movements you start with). Practice this for about two minutes. Then, stitch the end of the second movement to the beginning of the third to create a new movement combining all three together. Practice this until your body has memorized it. Finally, make a total movement cycle by connecting the end of the third motion to the start of the first one. This will form your movement cycle, the physical choreography of your dreaming ritual. Practice this choreography until it becomes a dance with its own rhythms. Let these rhythms subtly influence the form and design of the dance, without corrupting the integrity of each movement. Continue performing this movement cycle over and over, again allowing whatever dream memories, images and feelings to surface while staying committed to the integrity of the choreography. Beginning the Dreaming Ritual Begin with the 4-phase physical warm-up of the Solo Polarization Ritual (stillness, spinal flex, stretch, and heat). After the heat phase, mark the boundaries of your space and with any movements and sounds to take dominion over it. After you have finished the warm-up, proceed to No-Form. No-Form: On Charging and Discharging the Ritual Imagine a large egg-shaped oval on the floor before you, spacious enough to move freely in. Stand outside the oval while facing it. Apply the No-Form technique here. From No-Form, project into the oval area “the power of the dreaming.” Continue approaching No-Form while sensing the space that you have empowered. Relax your desire to control any outcomes and allow the power of dreaming its own life in the space before you. Step into the charged “dreaming” space and stand there absorbing its presence. Do not try to control or direct this energy; allow it fill you. When you feel ready, begin your movement cycle. Note: the pace, form or rhythm of your movement cycle may shift due to the influx of “dream charge.” Allow this dreaming force to move through you as you work to maintain the structural integrity of the movements. It may take some practice to maintain the structure and the internal influence of the power of dreaming. Keep following through with the movement cycle.

Allow any images and emotions to surface. Stay with it until you are done. You are done when you lose structural integrity—the ritual falls apart—or when you lose power—the dreaming energy dissipates. You can also be done when you feel like you’re done. This ritual can last anywhere from ten minutes to an hour or more, depending on the elements of force and form, the dreaming power and the structural integrity of the movement cycle. When you are done, exit the dreaming circle and enter No-Form. Take some time to empty out and release the dreaming power back to its source. No-Form now serves as a trance-dispersion device to discharge the dreaming ritual. When you feel more neutral again—not merged or identified with the dreaming—the ritual is over. Jog around the periphery of the dreaming area for about a minute as a way of returning to present time. Closure Write down your experiences and/or talk about them with others. This can help integrate the intuitive “depth experience” and your interpretive, conceptual mind. It can also provide a transition from the dreamtime back into the daytime. No-Form expresses an essential transition and bridge between the dreamtime and daytime, without which you may just wander around under the influence of the dream state. NOTE: Do not drive a car or operate machinery under the influence of the power of dreaming.

C-8 TASK #3: THE CLOUD OF UNKNOWING The Setting: any indoor or outdoor space that allows for uninterrupted time of approx. 15 to 30 minutes. Instigate the standing No-Form technique and add the following physical adjustments: 1) adjust your stance to relax and drop the spine into the pelvic basin 2) unlock your knees, let arms drop to sides, palms facing in 3) find your position of vertical rest, so that each part of your body from head down to feet rests upon the part below it, with the soles of the feet resting on the floor or ground below Continue standing in No-Form while maintaining these physical adjustments for approx. two minutes. Project a cloud slightly larger than your body size at a 45 degree angle, about five feet above and behind your head. Designate this as The Cloud of Unknowing. When you feel receptive enough in No-Form, invite the cloud to drift down and envelop your entire body. Do not drag or direct or bring the cloud down with your will. Simply put the invitation out there and let The Cloud drift down in its own way, on its own time. Stay the course with No-Form. When the cloud completely envelops your body, merge with the cloud. Become the cloud, so no division exists between you and the cloud. Stay the course of this merging. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do and nobody to be. When you feel done, you are done. When it’s over, do

something to break trance. The meditation is over. C-8 TASK #4: THE VERTICALITY RITUAL Verticality refers to the vertical column of energy coming down from above and rising up from below, through you as a continuous flow. This verticality idea was introduced in the C-6 CONSCIOUS TRANCE meditation as “earth energy” and “cosmic energy.” For the purpose of this verticality ritual, do not label these energies. Simply refer to them as expressions of your vertical source. Step 1. Begin with the 4-phase physical warm-up of the Solo Polarization Ritual (stillness, spinal flex, stretch, heat). After the heat phase, find movements to mark the boundaries of your space; make any movements and sounds to take dominion over this space. Step 2. After marking your boundaries and owning your space, step outside of this rare area (your warm-up area), stand facing your space. Start the NOFORM technique while facing your area. While in No-Form, project your vertical source into this space. Sense this verticality before you with your open palms. Step 3. When you feel ready, step into this area and absorb the currents of this vertical source. Merge with it; surrender to your vertical source. The degree of your surrender determines the depth of your immersion. Let this verticality move you in whatever way it does. Do not try to control or direct this energy but let it direct you, your movement, your sounds, your outcomes. Stay with this immersion process. Surrender to your vertical source. Step 4. When this vertical source energy eventually disperses or loses power, step out of the area and return to NO-FORM. Release any attachment to these forces. After defusing these energies, write down the results in your Lab book.

Notes on Vertical Stability

Strengthening vertical stability requires the cultivation of a habit not taught in schools; it must be learned on your own or in groups of individuals learning it on their own. To cultivate resonance with vertical sources is not easy; it’s a little like praying with no immediate results. Praying to what or to whom? Real self-work continues as an uphill struggle with decades of socially conditioned, externally directed habit patterns. For those who persevere, this struggle has its own rewards; there is no fire without friction and no life without heat. Not everyone wants or needs liberation from the creations of conceptual mind to experience life more directly. Imagine the least mediated perception and experience you are personally capable of. This is the experiment, the process, and the goal. The shock of authentic vertical contact, no matter how fleeting, can shatter unchecked assumptions about the world around us and about who we think we are. Any real intimacy with void can stir deep questioning about identity and the nature of reality. Some vertically oriented experiences can act as wake-up calls to sociopolitical oppression in our personal lives. In extreme cases, we can be bolted into upright renunciation or rebellion against all social dogmas, religions, and any externally imposed belief systems. However, any revolt, no matter how sincere, turns futile when our very resistance binds us further to the source of our oppression. While breaking out of oppressive self-imposed

and socially conditioned habits and reflexes, we must also be willing and able to replace them with a greater force of commitment to our own truths. It’s not what you fight against that matters as much as knowing what is worth fighting for.

Week Six: Chapel Perilous The Bardo Limbo Place Between Places

“The myth is the public dream and the dream is the private myth. If your private myth, your dream, happens to coincide with that of the society, you are in good accord with your group. If it isn’t, you’ve got an adventure in the dark forest ahead of you.” — Joseph Campbell

CHAPEL PERILOUS CINEMA Films That Look, Feel & Sound Like Chapel Perilous

Think back to the last time you exclaimed, “I can’t believe this is happening!” in response to the very thing that was happening to you. Sometimes the most difficult thing to believe can be the very thing that is happening to us. When we’re in the center of an experience we are often unaware it, or in the case of new experiences, have yet to label it or form a belief about it. So it is with Chapel Perilous. How can one tell when they’re inside? Though the journey in and out of Chapel Perilous differs for each person and circumstance, threads of commonality have been shared by artists, writers, musicians, and poets with the wherewithal to intuit their placement and the talent to communicate it. Sometimes being in Chapel Perilous can feel as if you’re in a movie. The multi-leveled textures of cinema can lucidly mirror the multidimensional experiences common to those visiting or residing in Chapel Perilous and why I believe so many film genres exist—noir, horror, zombie, psychological thrillers, dark fantasy, and even documentaries—to channel these visions.

NOW PLAYING ERASERHEAD by David Lynch ANGEL HEART by Alan Parker STALKER by Andrei Tarkovsky BARTON FINK by the Coen brothers THE SACRIFICE by Andrei Tarkovsky LESSONS OF DARKNESS by Werner Herzog HOUR OF THE WOLF by Ingmar Bergman THE ELEMENT OF CRIME by Lars Von Trier INLAND EMPIRE by David Lynch JULIEN DONKEY-BOY by Harmony Korine TIDELAND by Terry Gilliam SYNECDOCHE NY by Kaufman ORPHEUS by Jean Cocteau JULIET OF THE SPIRITS by Frederico Fellini THREE CROWNS OF THE SAILOR by Ruiz THE HOUR-GLASS SANATORIUM by Wojciech Has NORTHFORK by The Polish brothers JACOB’S LADDER by Adriane Lyne THE DOUBLE LIFE OF VERONIQUE by Krzysztof Kieslowski THE PASSENGER by Michelangelo Antonioni CATCH-22 by Mike Nichols JULIET OF THE SPIRITS by Frederico Fellini SARAGOSSA MANUSCRIPT by Wojciech Has BLADE RUNNER (director’s cut) by Ridley Scott BLUE VELVET by David Lynch EL TOPO by Alejandro Jodorowsky APOCALYPSE NOW REDUX by Francis Ford Coppola HEART OF GLASS by Werner Herzog

The Eight-Circuit Brain Course

Week Six: Chapel Perilous The Bardo Limbo Place Between Places

“Chapel Perilous, like the mysterious entity called ‘I’, cannot be located in the time-space continuum: it is weightless, odorless, tasteless, and undetectable by ordinary instruments. Indeed like the Ego, once you’re inside it there doesn’t seem to be any way to ever get out, again, until you suddenly discover that it has been brought into existence by thought and does not exist outside of thought.” — Robert Anton Wilson To those residing in or visiting Chapel Perilous: we know who we are. We are the dispossessed, the outcasts, and the outsiders, rebels with a cause who have upturned the mulch of our dead lives and seeded those fertile fields with incendiary visions of our future selves. Having already subverted the norm, we renounce dominator culture’s status quo of everything and drift happy disconnected—babes in the abyss—wavering in the ambiguity fog of dislocation. Free-floating between old worlds and the new, guided only by the shining paths of mother evolution. We have passed over, we have passed the point of no-return and since there is no turning back, we celebrate the momentum lifting us on the wings of perception, grace, and whatever skills we have earned from surviving the inevitable catastrophe of self. Only when we are over, does our real life begin.

Overview: Entrances and Exits The three final weeks are dedicated to catching up on missed reading assignments, tasks and rituals. To boost the novelty quotient Week Six explores the mysterious Chapel Perilous, where we will discover three ominous doors, the pathways leading through each, and a few exit strategies for those wishing escape. Course Book Reading: If you have Angel Tech, read pages 126–138. When I first wrote Angel Tech, I placed “Chapel Perilous” between C-4 and C5 to convey a discontinuity gap for keeping the 8-CB system open-ended. Since the book’s first 1986 edition I have come to see things differently; twenty-three years can change a man’s mind, ha-ha! I now view Chapel Perilous as a kind of nonlocal bardo realm hovering over all eight circuits like a magnetic fog or aetheric web absorbing whatever consciousness has yet to be integrated. I see Chapel Perilous as a metaphor for a place between places, where lost or abandoned souls remain in suspense until they’re ready to return to earth and embody the human condition. If the word “soul” bothers you, consider Chapel Perilous as a kind of Nonlocal Lost & Found Dept. for the unclaimed, neglected, and denied portions of ourselves. Throughout my adult life, almost everyone I’ve met or have gotten to know has frequented, or currently resides in Chapel Perilous. So far, all of them fall into any one or all of the following four categories (in order from the greatest percentage to the smallest): LIFERS (THE FLOCK), those who remain in Chapel Perilous unaware of their displacement CLERGY, those who are aware of being there but choose to remain and serve the flock HERETICS, those who have awakened and managed to escape as either agnostic or paranoid TOURISTS, those who have awakened, escaped with soul intact (neither agnostic nor paranoid), and who return for reasons of their own I count myself as a Tourist. I periodically return there whenever the Muses

decide I need a good shaking up. I can never predict when that will be but it usually happens when the Muses are ready to use me (I make films and create theatre). I am a love slave to the Muses and consider myself lucky to be a Chapel Tourist. I have known Lifers, Clergy, and Heretics who have not been so fortunate. Some of what I’ve seen and heard would make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and shout. There’s a reason why it’s called Chapel Perilous and not Chapel Happy. If there were one word that might save you some grief as a Lifer, Priest, Heretic, or Tourist, that word would be: nonchalance. Learn to treat the archetypes and their realms with the same indifference with which they treat you. Don’t take it personal; Chapel Perilous is anything but. Keep it cool, chill.

just another babe in the abyss HOW SHOCKS TRIGGER OBSESSIONS Obsession acts as a portal through which a great influx of energy pours forth and finds focus and/or a target. Any honest obsession can help organize and restore our sense of selfhood, especially after a shock or trauma and during times of personal crisis. However, an obsession can also consume all of our time and energy, and cause burnout. Many of us end up in Chapel Perilous via an obsession, or a series of obsessions.

Obsessions often follow traumatic events. The aftermath of any outside shock can lead us to fixate on something or someone as an attempt to regain lost ground and a sense of control over our lives. The obsession we experience after a trauma or shock can be a necessary stage of restoring a sense of normalcy and peace of mind, even though it may appear “crazy” to others. Post-traumatic obsessions can take on numerous forms: other people, sex, money, drugs, alcohol, religion, ideas, romantic affairs, work, health, big causes, our egos, our appearance, status and public opinion; the list goes on and on… (See “The Nature and Function of Shock” in the CIRCUITS chapter of the THEOREM section). Three things to know about obsession: 1) Obsessions express compulsive reactions to initial originating shocks or traumas and are not the shock itself; obsessions express forceful reactions to shock. 2) Our obsessions point to where we tend to be in the most direct, intuitive immersion of life energies; our obsessions show us where all the energy is. 3) Obsessions express symptoms of the ego working through the effects of past shocks and traumas as an, albeit not always successful, attempt to heal ourselves.

The Revolving Doors of Chapel Perilous

The Front Door, the Back Door, and the Trap Door Obsession can sometimes launch us into the Chapel. Some obsessions accumulate such a heavy force of inertia that our force of will can become overwhelmed with immobilizing indecision. These inertia-generating obsessions entrench us in the day-in-day-out redundancies of familiar routines that lead directly to the back door of Chapel Perilous. This back door path of inertia maintains itself by the sinking comfort of Familiarity Trance and can last for months, years, and decades. A very different type of obsession comes with the acceleration of novelty—of too many new experiences and information to assimilate—that spins us out into manic episodes of rapid burnout. Like moths to a flame, these fiery obsessions are often short-lived, unbearably exhilarating and typically end in disintegration. These are the neophiliac obsessions that lead straight through the Chapel’s front doorway.

There’s another way of entering Chapel Perilous that’s a bit more mysterious. It’s neither obsession with novelty or habit but a kind of serendipitous luck of the draw that I call “freefall.” Freefall usually involves some out-of-the-blue, brick-in-the-back-of-the-head, sucker punch that suddenly drops us down through the Chapel Perilous trap door. The bottom falls out in freefall as we drift disconnected through the abyss. In my travels and travails these are the three basic ways I have seen myself and others find Chapel Perilous and often when we weren’t looking for it. I have entered through the Front Door of Novelty flying by the seat of my pants on fire. I have crawled through the Back Door of Inertia up to my ears in the sludge of stagnation. When the Trap Door of Freefall dropped out from beneath me, I was just another babe in the abyss sucking my thumb on the way to nowhere. No matter how we get in, or which door we pass through, all who enter Chapel Perilous achieve Initiation. A chapel is a place of worship; perilous means fraught with danger. Chapel Perilous is a place where a certain kind of danger has become a point of worship. Whether or not that danger is accidental or intentional depends on your relationship, or lack thereof, with Chapel Perilous. Are you waking up inside the Chapel or did you fall asleep during the sermon? Do you recognize anyone here or do these haunted faces belong to complete strangers? Do you know where you are? Does your mother know where you are?

Patron Saints of Chapel Perilous

ROBERT ANTON WILSON Honorary Front Door Patron Saint of Chapel Perilous Status: Agnostic Heretic Prolific, iconoclastic author and neuro-anthropologist “Bob” Wilson escaped the Chapel and defeated paranoia with daily Sufi Heart Chakra meditations and pranayama (yogic breathing). FRONT DOOR: NOVELTY Neophilia. A tipping point of new information and experience collapses in on itself like a super nova turned black hole. This can manifest as overwhelming short-circuiting via C-2 emotional upheavals, C-3 data O.D., C-4 sociosexual addictions, C-5 bliss-out dispersions, and C-6 & C-7 psychic blowouts from excessive psychoactive drug use. Too much novelty too soon with not enough assimilation time can force consciousness into a perpetual tilt-a-whirl merrygo-round of accelerating chaos. Too high—going nowhere fast!

Patron Saints of Chapel Perilous

WAYNE NEWTON Honorary Back Door Patron Saint of Chapel Perilous Status: Clergy Consummate entertainer Wayne Newton performed over 30,000 solo shows in Las Vegas over a period of 40 plus years, earning him the nickname, “Mr. Las Vegas.” BACK DOOR: INERTIA Inertia. Symptoms include staggering redundancy, psychic and creative stagnation, and immobilizing indecision. The force of will is overcome by the overwhelming force of habit and familiarity overdose. The back door can several ways: in apathetic immobility OR a steely cheer OR an overly structured life OR an extremely cluttered life. Here rests in useless repose, the tomb of the perpetual comfort zone. There’s a fine line between a rut & a groove and the rut wins! Treadmilling—going nowhere slowly!

Patron Saints of Chapel Perilous

MIKE TYSON Honorary Trap Door Patron Saint of Chapel Perilous Status: Paranoid Heretic “Iron Mike,” the most dangerous boxer in history at his prime, also fought many heroic battles with the inner demons of alcohol, drug and sex abuse, parasitical sycophants, and wrongful lawsuits, which scarred his psyche with paranoia. TRAP DOOR: FREE FALL Catastrophic change. At the mercy of forces greater than we can control or comprehend, we free fall into the abyss without a clue, an anchor, or a compass. Common causes include unexpected windfalls of fame or wealth, sudden loss of loved ones to death, massive Anima and Animus attacks, the culture shock of not coping well in foreign lands, mass media overexposure, and government interventions in your personal life. Willy Nilly—out of control!

EXIT STRATEGIES If you’ve entered through the Back Door of Overwhelming Familiarity, you’re likely to remain in Chapel Perilous if you try to exit through the back door. Try the Front Door, instead. Break up your routines, take more risks and venture outside your comfort zones. The same goes for those who came in through the Front Door of novelty. Try the Back Door. Start building new habits of consistency and predictability, such as going to the same restaurant every day at the same time and ordering the same meal. Since front and back doors represent the polar orientations of change and stasis, they can be pitted against each other as counterpoints to neutralize each other’s influence. Unfortunately, those who fall through the willy-nilly Trap Door of Freefall may not find such simple solutions.

Hi, I’m not really here but I’m here. Couch-surfing in Chapel Perilous My very first visit to the Chapel was through the trap door. Many of my initial exit attempts failed. If I indulged in anxiety, or in any way drew attention to myself, I would end up sitting in the Chapel pews listening to the daily sermons. At the time I was trying to be a magickian but the way of the Magus was not working for me here. Any effort on my part to push my will onto the situation resulted in despair. I don’t recall the moment when I relaxed my desire to control everything but that’s when things started loosening up for me. As I continued letting go of my attachment to controlling outcomes, an inner stillness eventually replaced my anxiety. This new calm was my first step

towards escape. Since my trap door entrance coincided with falling in love for all the wrong reasons, I also knew I had to chill out on obsessing on my girlfriend, the femme fatale. But she also held the key to my soul in a heart-shaped box buried 23 feet below the Chapel altar. I wanted my soul back. That’s when I created and executed the Anima Shrine ritual (the same Circuit Seven task). This ceremony defused the psychic charge between us and lessened the messy animosity I felt in my body. After this healing ritual, I somehow found myself standing outside of the walls of Chapel Perilous with soul intact. What a great feeling to be free of my girlfriend obsession and to be walking away from the dark night I had once made my home. On my second trip to the Chapel I ran right through the front door with eyes wide shut. The staging of my play, Chapel Perilous, and my hot new romance with the gorgeous blonde actress who portrayed the “Anima” overwhelmed my ego with novelty. I could tell I was in Chapel Perilous this time because my timing was off. It didn’t matter what I was doing or who I was with, my timing was terrible. I felt like I was either in the right place at the wrong time or the wrong place at the right time. I was also going through the motions of my daily life like some broken marionette, without a shred of presence or conviction. Even I couldn’t believe myself anymore. Hi there. Pardon me. Do you have a moment? I’m not really here but I’m here. I was phoning in my life, not living it. In retrospect, I now see how timing coincides with believability. My timing was off because I did not believe in myself. Timing = believability. During a bardo netherworld of many sleepless nights, I held court with my good friend Dr. Laphroaig (single malt scotch whiskey) and the nocturnal sounds of Joy Division, Portishead, and Sisters of Mercy. I was not exactly depressed as much as psychically displaced. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. After awhile, this off-kilter condition took on a perverse attraction for me. I began twisting it into my own version of Rimbaud’s deliberate disorientation of the senses, a technique the Symbolist poet used to spin his psyche into a creative state. This worked for a while but it didn’t shake that haunted, haunting feeling that some part of me had already crossed over to wherever people cross over when they die and leave this place. I felt like I was already there.

As before, I looked to Art for redemption. This time it was poetry that saved me—the stark poetics of Robinson Jeffers. Jeffers’ sculpted arrangements of words conjured the same caustic spirits that had made a home in me. Reading his works out loud (all great poetry must be read aloud) brought some relief from this hungry ghost realm. However it was not enough to just read his poems. In typical theatricality I ended up staging a dozen of his works as abstract Mime Theatre (not the cutesy French stuff) in Carmel, California— Jeffers’ spiritual home—featuring Jacob Shefa, Johanna Modisette, and me as the abstracted mimes with Barbara Shuler reciting the poems, accompanied by Peter Metcalf improvising on cello. WHERE I? This woman cannot live more than one year. Her growing death is hidden in a hopeless place, Her death is like a child growing in her, And she knows it, you see it shine in her face. She looks at her own hands and thinks “In a year These will be burnt like rags in the crematory. I shall not feel it. Where I? Where I? Not anywhere. It is strange, it gives to her face a kind of glory. Her mind used to be lazy and heavy her face, Now she talks all in haste, looks young and lean And eager, her eyes glitter with eagerness, As if she were newly born and had never seen The beauty of things, the terror, pain, joy, the song. Or is it better to live at ease, dully and long? — Robinson Jeffers Once again I managed to escape Chapel Perilous by performing a ritual disguised as theatre (more on my first escape in “A Neurological Autobiography”; HOW I GOT THIS WAY). I’m aware that not everybody can exit Chapel Perilous in this way. Sometimes, I am unable to exit this way. I think that exit strategies can be developed once we are aware that we’re in Chapel Perilous and maybe discover how we got there in the first place. When I’m in doubt and in need of a good reminder of my options, I return to the story

of how my favorite Heretic Robert Anton Wilson escaped: “Chapel Perilous, like the mysterious entity called ‘I’, cannot be located in the time-space continuum: it is weightless, odorless, tasteless, and undetectable by ordinary instruments. Indeed like the Ego, once you’re inside it there doesn’t seem to be any way to ever get out, again, until you suddenly discover that it has been brought into existence by thought and does not exist outside of thought.” — Robert Anton Wilson There is a key that unlocks the Chapel gates in Bob’s final phrase. Chapel Perilous was brought into existence by thought and does not exist outside of thought. Those who discover how to use the mind to see through the mind, to see beyond the products of the mind, can also be free of this mind. I believe this type of “seeing through”—the mind seeing through and beyond itself— expresses a function of C-6 second attention (see Circuit Six Feature Article, “The First and Second Attentions” and C-6 tasks). For those contemplating escape and seeking clues for the means to make that possible, I offer the following Chapel Perilous Tasks. Good luck and godspeed.

Chapel Perilous Tasks “Exit Strategies of the Three Powers” 1) THE POWER OF CONFESSION This is a ritual of confession. If you have Angel Tech pick a sermon from the seven sermons in the CHAPEL PERILOUS section (pages 128–138) that most closely relates to your own visit or residence. Or, if you wish, write a more personal confession about what you have done or are still doing that keeps you inside the Chapel. Read it out loud as a confession to that part of you that is still caught or residing in the Chapel. Show yourself that you care. Make it count. 2) THE POWER OF PRAYER This is a ritual of prayer. Find a quiet place where you can feel completely safe and alone. In this place, set up an altar with a candle plus relics and/or images that somehow symbolize the parts of yourself that you feel may be lost or absorbed into Chapel Perilous. You will use this altar as a psychic focal point to send a message to those parts of yourself. When you pray to these aspects of yourself, you are praying for the return of the bits and pieces of your totality, your soul. NOTE: This ritual does not require that you believe in the soul or in God or any Deity, unless you already do. It simply requires that you pray for your safe return from Chapel Perilous and as such, requires sincerity of intent. 3) THE POWER OF BREAKING TRANCE This is a trance-breaking ritual. Look at each of the three doors, or entrances, into Chapel Perilous as a different trance: The Back Door and the TRANCE OF HABIT, the Front Door and the TRANCE OF NOVELTY, the Trap Door and the TRANCE OF FALLING (feel free to adjust these terms to serve your own semantics). After determining how you entered Chapel Perilous, experiment with finding or inventing ways to break the trance of that entrance. Identify the trance that keeps you in CHAPEL PERILOUS and find ways to break that trance. BREAK TRANCE. Trances can be broken by instigating activities that counteract the trance, i.e., what is the polar opposite of the trance you wish to break? BREAK TRANCE.

Week Seven: Progress Evaluation and Week Eight: Review Progress Evaluation Consolidating a Personal Assessment of Course Work Review Catching Up to Speed Towards Course Completion

PROGRESS EVALUATION QUESTIONNAIRE

1) Review the First Week’s SYSTEM OVERVIEW and reflect on how your understanding of this material has changed and/or remained the same since starting the course. 2) Check your Lab book for the first week’s assignment of how you measured your experience and integration of each of the eight circuits, on a scale of 1– 10. Update these measurements to coincide with the research results of your experiments over the first six weeks of this course; write down the new measurement. 3) Of the experiments, rituals, and meditations you actually completed, which ones resulted in the greatest success and/or surprises, and which ones resulted in little or no noticeable change or, felt to you like a failure or incomplete? 4) List the circuit(s) you feel need more integration and the one(s) that you feel integrated enough for the time being. Are there any circuits that you have not been able to access in any way whatsoever? What are they? Also report your frustrations, lack of motivation and/or need for more experience. 5) Has your definition of Intelligence changed since first addressing these questions in the first week? Update any changes to synchronize closer with your present time experiences.

6) Throughout this journey through the 8-CB, was there any one circuit that remains with you as a favorite place to either hang out in and/or to explore further? If so, please describe what, why, and how. 7) Was there any one circuit that you found yourself unusually and/or unexpectedly stuck in? If so, please explain what, why, and how. Also, offer possible actions or adjustments that might serve to mobilize or circulate the energies there. Would you consider this an area that you could use some outside guidance in? 8) To what extent has this course lived up to your expectations and/or delivered what you wanted or needed from it? Also, how did this course’s content and presentation work, or not work, for you? Give examples.

Review Catching Up to Speed Towards Course Completion The Course ends, the Work continues… No final arrivals, graduations, diplomas, or exams exist for this course. All the tasks, readings, rituals, and meditations were specifically designed to stimulate your own processes with the 8-Circuit Brain and whatever else they have inspired in you. Though associations and parallels can be found between the 8CB and other meta-forms—Cabbala, Hindu Chakra System, Tarot, NLP, Enneagram, Astrology, Buddhist Eight-Fold Path, etc—I heartily encourage its study and use on its own distinct terms. Though I can understand the C-3 compulsion for cross-referencing the 8-CB with other systems, especially towards the cosmic quest of a grand unified theory explaining everything about everything, I personally think it’s a waste of time. But then again, I’m not a meta-systems theoretician either. The focus throughout this course has been on the study and application of the Eight-Circuit Brain model with special emphasis on specific vertical connectivities bonding lower and upper circuits. Those who have completed most of the course readings and tasks will have enough firsthand experience to begin developing their own circuit theories. This final week is about catching up to speed on missed reading assignments and to complete whatever work was left unfinished. Good luck and godspeed!

COURSE INDEX Week One—System Overview Task 1 – assign numbers to each of the eight circuits Task 2 – your distillations of what each circuit means to you in your words Week Two—Circuit-1 and Circuit-5 Task 1 – C1: Locating your I.P. Task 2 – C1: The Salt Bath Ritual Task 3 – C1: Rigor Mortis Junior Task 4 – C1: Stretch, Sweat & Cool Off Task 5 – C1: Applying the I.P. Task 6 – C5: Solo Polarization Ritual Task 7 – C5: Aimless Wandering Week Three—Circuit-2 and Circuit-6 Task 1 – C2: The Investment List: Assets or Liabilities? Task 2a – C2: Status Report Part 1: Shrinking & Expanding Task 2b – C2: Status Report Part 2: Code of Honor Task 3 – C2: The Dominion Ritual Task 4 – C2: The Emotional Polarity Ritual Task 5 – C2: Five small alternative rituals to Task 4 Task 6 – C6: Two ways to engage the second attention Task 7 – C6: Conscious Trance Meditation Technique Task 8 – C6: The Neuro-Tarot Week Four—Circuit-3 and Circuit-7 Task 1 – C3: Report: On Defining Sanity/Insanity Task 2 – C3: Meditation: The Disappearing Monkey Act Task 3 – C3: Ritual: Nondirectional/Directional Jogging Task 4 – C7: The Animus/Anima Shrine Ritual Task 5 – C7: The Verticality Ritual Week Five—Circuit-4 and Circuit-8 Task 1 – C4: Report/Ritual: The True Friendship Criteria Task 2 – C4: Task: The Social Trust Ritual

Task 3 – C4: Task: Talking with Strangers Task 4 – C4: Task: The Ego Corrosive Ritual Task 5 – C8: Task: Consciousness Projection Task 6 – C8: Task: Dreaming Ritual Task 7 – C8: Task: The Cloud of Unknowing Week Six—Chapel Perilous Task 1: The Power of Confession Task 2: The Power of Prayer Task 3: The Power of Breaking Trance Week Seven—Progress Evaluation 1: System overview 2: Eight circuits measurements 3: Evaluation of completed tasks 4: Evaluation of circuits 5: Intelligence definition 6: Favorite circuit 7: Circuit You’re Stuck In 8: Course Expectations

Section 3: FORUM Q&A Featuring inquiries from those who completed the Praxis Course

THE PRAXIS FORUM

The following forum material was excerpted from a private eight-week online version of The Eight-Circuit Brain course as featured in the PRAXIS section. I include their anonymous contributions here for their honesty, candor and courage. I also believe that their processes and inquiries, and my own responses to them, might be illuminating to those already committed to the PRAXIS course in this book. I have also included a few offerings and responses from various online communities where I have found resonant inquiries. Each of the italicized sections of text, between the non-italicized sections of text, represents the views, processes, and questions of a different person. My responses are preceded by my initials, AA.

On the 8-Circuit course material in general I think I grasp all the circuits, and am moving towards integrating them, but I don’t know that I’m doing it right. My life has always been this desire for balance, and when I came across this model in Angel Tech, I was astounded at how well it resonated with my own research and experiments. Yet, are we to try to equally and incrementally grow in each circuit? I don’t feel like we should focus on one over others, but then what if one needs more work? How does one know which circuit needs more work? If we focus too much on the first four, will its corresponding “higher” circuit give us a shock? If a higher circuit is overemphasized, is there a counter shock from its “lower” correspondence signifying that anchoring needs to occur? If all your circuits are fucked, are you in Chapel Perilous, or the Robot Junkyard? AA: Your questions and concerns as legitimate. Since each CNS (Central Neural System) differs, each person engages the processes in this course at their own pace and according to what they are willing and/or unwilling to do. Individual integrity and autonomy count for a lot here. We are using the 8-CB as a diagnostic to discover the existing conditions of our internal and external lives, rather than idealize this system as any kind of Nietzschean super hero yoga, though for some this remains their preferred self-delusion. In working through each circuit we invariably discover strengths and weaknesses and where work is most needed. These exposures of “what needs work” and also “what can rest” become obvious over time. What is required more than anything else is self-honesty and a willingness to commit to actually doing the work, as opposed to thinking about doing the work. A big part of self-work is learning how to increase the force of our commitment. Commitment as a force can be increased at will when you know how and is addressed in the I.P. (Integrity Point) technique of WEEK TWO. WEEK ONE is about exposing our preconceptions, expectations, and existing knowledge of the 8-Circuit model. This preliminary ideational phase provides an important base to be tested against the truths of more direct experience and adjusting our map to better serve the real life territories we’ve encountered. In regards to the Robot Junkyard, I say be kind to the robot; s/he is your friend.

On Chakras vs. Circuits

Do you find correlations between the Chakras and the Circuits, especially the third chakra and circuit three? AA: Whereas the chakras refer to actual emanations from living organs in the human glandular system, the circuits do not. The circuits refer to a symbolic system—as opposed to the more “real” chakra system—that if used correctly (remembering that it’s a symbolic system), can refer to attributes of consciousness and intelligence of the chakras. The 3rd chakra (solar plexus region) and third circuit do have relevant parallels but there are also important differences. They are not a clean match. Certain esoteric systems view the solar plexus as a kind of dreaming portal through which the dreambody exits and re-enters the physical body at night during sleep. I think what ties the 3rd chakra and third circuit together is the state of being ego-identified. Check out that queasy feeling you get in your solar plexus the next time you surpass your uncertainty threshold.

On the I.P. (the Integrity Point) I had been contemplating my IP as: “connection with Gaia (Earth Intelligence)” to very strongly feeling: “connecting to/creating sacred space internally (eso) or externally (exo)” and now seeing as its a force of commitment I’ve reworded it like so: “commitment to the sacred.” I’ve been applying it as a force and well I feel like whenever I do it gives me energy to do things I have trouble committing to or enhances my focus with those things that I am good at. AA: It looks to me like your reflections have paid off. We know when we have discovered an actual I.P. by the positive results of applying its force to other areas requiring more commitment or its ability to enhance areas that we already demonstrate commitment in. You say you have discovered the sacredness of life. You will know if this is your I.P. by a total commitment to this experience. You see, it is possible to know the sacredness of life and still not be ready to fully commit to this experience. The I.P. is not an ideal or a belief or an aspiration. The I.P. refers to an unbending force of total commitment. I am totally committed to: sleeping well, the idea of a higher purpose to life, the music I love, finding new artists/musicians to love, the idea of

family/community, my cat, getting better at being myself and making more contributions to the world (learning how to do this), keeping in touch with certain people who have moved away, eating healthy tasty food, running, yoga, traveling more…my list is long because i believe my most basic trait is my enthusiasm. It is difficult for me to do things which do not enthuse me. To accomplish certain tasks I am not into sometimes I have to pretend I am excited— is this the trick? To not be fake about it and draw from one’s internal source? AA: The I.P. does refer to an internal source of energy and your enthusiasm could be it if you are 100% behind it when it happens. The I.P., however, is not about pretending unless you call your commitment to being on this planet pretending. The energy of the I.P. expresses a force of self-commitment that stems from the first survival chakra, at the base of the spine, which contains the truth about the degree you are willing to commit to being on this planet. Tapping into this energy, and then directing it to areas that need for of this commitment energy, is what the I.P. technique is all about. I’m pretty insecure. In examining the possible IP’s I always had a doubt in my mind like “but do I really support that?” So now I feel like the uncertainty of things puts me in a situation were I just don’t feel like I could back up anything. I always have this doubt in my mind. So I realized that my IP might possibly be this, my doubt about everything. Do you suppose I’m on the right direction or should I look further to find something more solid than my solid doubt? I feel this is meta-complicated or simply meta-boring. AA: Your doubt may indeed be an IP or, perhaps your uncertainty. Maybe what you call your meta-boredom is an I.P. Let’s consider other options. Consider that this I.P. is not a concept but a reality, and that I am asking you to search for what is real. For some this can seem an almost impossible task while for others, the answer is right under their noses. What I am saying here is that if you approach this task from a purely conceptual (C-3) orientation, you will only find a conceptual result. The I.P. links to C-1 and its innate biological “language” of instinct, sensation, action. The Body Knows what the mind can only guess at. Take a walk outdoors. I found my I.P. as honesty and applied that ‘energy’ to the chemistry class I was in. I immediately noticed many changes in my experience—I was much

more aware and concerned with the quality of my work (nothing too difficult, taking notes), but it also took less effort than usual to maintain this level of commitment. My mind was more clear and focused, and I understood the material easily. I needed to renew the effect several times, as I slipped back into my usual habits. I also felt a strange reluctance to the experience—it was if a lazy part of me didn’t want to put forward this strange, new effort. However, I plan on repeating the experiment as often as possible. AA: You did the work and got results; well done. Perhaps my I.P. is my commitment to evolving, getting myself together and realizing my potential. When I’m at my most self-destructive, or when I’m failing to follow through on things, the DESIRE to ‘do better’ or to initiate an upward curve in my evolution seems always there. Even in the midst of the dumbest shit I end up doing. Does that sound viable? AA: Viable? Perhaps not. Though strong desire can be a powerful motivator, desire alone can never fully achieve the high ideals you have set for yourself. Sometimes desire can become so strong it leaves us wanting for more and having less. Reflect on the distinction between Necessity and Desire. For example, the need for food vs. the desire for food. Maybe it can be a good polarity for your C-5 Solo Ritual. The cultural trance of materialism/consumerism has many of us so fixated on what we want that we lose touch with what we actually need. The only people that I can stand behind 100% are my husband and my mother. There is a mutual and abiding love back and from each of them and me that is incomparable to anything else in this world for me personally. They are my bedrock of support through thick and thin. This next part is harder to describe, but there’s certain experiences I feel I stand behind 100%: certain inspired moments making art or mixing live video, certain times playing strategy games, or making love, or playing guitar, or other kinds of performance or dynamic interactive activity. However, it’s less about the activity and more about the specific dynamic energy & intensity— it’s like they are vehicles for that experience. It’s the experience I feel 100% about, the moment of active bliss when everything is balanced just so by my own hand.

AA: Your use of the word “bedrock” says it all. This force of commitment (IP) may be as consistent as gravity itself and may indeed be an expression of gravity through the energetic body. Your husband and mother seem to me good examples of the I.P. in your life, as there is no belief required to maintain that force. If the other examples you listed require inspiration, they may be more like convictions and/or aspirations, both of which are important yet differ from the force of commitment in specific ways. Refer to your unwavering stance behind your husband and mother and you can sense, feel and register the steady force of your commitment. This force requires no inspiration or belief from you to exist. The force of commitment conveys remarkable consistency; it doesn’t just come and go depending on mood, circumstance, or inspiration.

On Apathy It is my view that in committing to self-work one will inevitably be confronted with their own (and others’) patheticness. Other than general inadequacy and powerlessness, what is the true nature of something pathetic? What causes patheticness? AA: I think part of any real self-work will expose us to the limitations of what we actually can and cannot do, that is, if we are totally honest with ourselves. For example, I think it’s natural to feel helpless in the face of any apparently insurmountable odds. The trick is not falling prey to Poor Baby selfvictimization by confusing our feelings of helplessness for actually being helpless. This confusion easily brings us to the bended knees of patheticness squared. Apathy expresses a symptom of the immobilization of the will and can result after any outside shock that delivers a serious blow to our self-confidence. Apathy signals a “why bother?” loss of self-confidence and energy so necessary to facing life’s challenges and the solving of our own problems. Apathy can also be instructive by the perception and receptivity it can bring unless, of course, this apathy is also tainted by negative emotions such as cynicism, bitterness, avarice, envy, resentment, guilt, etc. Some kinds of apathy can simply result from an increasing awareness of powers far greater than our ego, whether that be big government or big religion or big spiritual experiences, coloring our personalities with pathos. The exception to this pathetic disposition may be the degree we have accepted the absurdity of life

and can laugh at our so-called ‘spirituality.’

On C-1 Fear and Safety Issues Am I onto something when I think that what we call fear is more an energetic response to our environment, but when exaggerated or misidentified, this energy powers destructive thought patterns? More reflections on perceived versus real fear, and the simplicity of real fear—In cases of real fear, is it less stressful because it is a simpler situation? It seems that in situations of real fear, it may be easier to identify the threat and respond to it. With perceived fear, since its not real in the first place, the mind is able to confuse itself more easily. AA: Yes, I think you are onto something. Direct experience of the energy of pure fear is a raw signal free of C-2 dramatization and C-3 mapping about what it all means. When we respond instinctively (C-1), emotions (C-2) and thoughts (C-3) may have very little to do with it such as in the common response people show in real emergencies (not just perceived emergencies): they get real calm and act without hesitation. When I was a child I was always afraid of losing my mom. Some nights I would wake up feeling intense fear and then I would just crawl into my mom’s bed and stick to her tightly to make sure that she was still there. Real fear happened when she died. It felt like part of me died. It is strange that I still feel that void in me. I still have the fear of being left alone. Is it because I need to do something to restore my safety? AA: It is biologically and emotionally healthy for any child to need the mother’s love, sense of safety and emotional sanctuary. The child depends on the mother for these experiences and when the mother dies, it can be a real shock to the child within you no matter how old you are. The fear and void you feel inside may express the inner child’s cry inside the mature woman’s body, calling out to the mother in you. It may now be up to you to give yourself whatever love, sense of safety and emotional shelter you once depended on your mother for. Tending to these needs can help you reclaim C-1 and begin a new relationship with your Body, one that replaces fear with love. I suggest the polarity of Mother/Child in the C-5 Solo Polarization Ritual to engage these processes more directly, openly and consciously.

On the C-1 Rigor Mortis Jr. ritual I really tensed my muscles doing this task, I really felt them contracting hard and found it very difficult to build the tension from the chest up. Chest, neck and face tension felt like a threat to me, like hurting myself or blocking life. From the torso onward this task became very unpleasant. I know I could do this task better than this and would like some guidance to go past this point and to understand the feeling of unpleasantness and fear related to whole body tension. AA: Look at your experience of pain (or very unpleasant sensations) as an important C-1 signal from that you are trying too hard or pushing too much. Don’t hold your breath when you are reaching ‘peak tension’; if you experience discomfort, relax a little. Slow down. The fear related to the ‘whole body tension’ can mean a number of things. The body knows it’s going to die; the mind thinks it will live forever. And so, this whole body tension can feel a little like death to the body and why this ritual is called Rigor Mortis Jr. It is a small preview of the inevitable for us all. The fear can also stem from an ego fear of “losing control”; maybe you are afraid to surrender to this experience. Maybe you are afraid you will die, too. Maybe you are re in a rush. My suggestion is to slow down. Do not rush. Go gently. Talk to yourself; tell yourself, “we’re not going to die now. We are conducting an experiment in tension and release.” I did the rigor mortis ritual again and then after performing the warmup/stretch/cool-down this evening (a few hours ago) i am feeling better and better as the day has gone on. I feel lighter and more energetic and there is a sense of generalized positive anticipation. Maybe a little touch of some C5 bliss creeping through? AA: You are doing the work and getting results, well done. I don’t understand how I can be totally tense and at the same time breathe. If I encourage tensions in the belly and the chest the breath naturally stops. Should I tense the muscles only halfway? AA: Though it may not ‘make sense’ to your mind, follow the directions and see for yourself what it is that you can and cannot do. What the body naturally does may differ from what you think it can naturally do. Remember to slow it

down and go gentle on yourself. Find the level of tension that does not cross over into pain or unpleasant feelings. Pain and suffering are unnecessary to perform this task or any other task in this course.

On the C-1 Salt Bath ritual This ritual was pretty intense and show-stopping for me. I had profound feelings of allowing my body to do things, to relax the way it wanted. It made me realize how much of my stretching and relaxation exercises are usually expressing some regime I read about where the movements are prescribed beforehand. This time I felt like I was actually listening to my body for the first time in ages. I had womb-like sensations that were very profound for me; a sphere outside me keeping me safe, a sphere that somehow was the whole Earth, and some sort of umbilical cord connecting me to it. Around halfway through I was having oscillations between total vulnerability and need for protection, and also being the ‘mother’ figure who was offering protection to my body. I seemed to occupy both roles at once. I had an awe-inspiring sense of my body as a really incredible intelligence of a different order than what I’m used to valuing (intellect, largely). AA: Your words beautifully address the experience you had with the Salt Bath ritual. I totally understand how preverbal and pre-linguistic this primordial C-1 experience of Body Wisdom can be. I especially appreciated your notes on the oscillation between Infant/Mother with the defenseless state of real vulnerability genuinely in need of protection and nurturance. In the bath, I breathed out, waited for the next in breath, and it didn’t come. There was no discomfort AT ALL. It felt like I could have just not breathed for days, but I got scared (what if I die here?!) and eventually told myself to take a breath. I was scared. Not a panicky fear, more of an assessment from a space of total relaxation, ‘I wonder what’s going on,’ to ‘what if I’m going into some state that I don’t know how to get out of?’ I don’t wish I hadn’t taken the breath, but would like to know more about this state. Thinking about it, the breathing-halt was partly my body telling me how much I gasp for air in life. But it was really so unusual. Next time, if it happens, I want to keep waiting for the next breath…there’s nothing to fear, is there? Is there???

AA: To the best of my knowledge, I do not know of any instance where soaking in a salt bath caused an actual physical death. I do know that if you soak too long in salt water, it can exhaust the C-2 emotional body and pucker up your skin like a prune. You were evidently shocked by the awareness of your body’s innate capacity to stop breathing momentarily AND not die. This probably confused C-3 intellect, which could not make sense of the event. Consequently, C-2 was probably alerted into panic and flight mode to push you into making a choice to start breathing again. I believe you may have discovered something new about C-1 here and that is how biological intelligence has a life of its own and can operate autonomously and do things you were previously unaware of. Do the bath, again. When breathing, focus on the exhale and allow the inhale to occur as a reflex. To do this you must exhale all the way. You can exhale a little further beyond the point where you feel there is no more air. It may feel as if you have exhaled all the way but the body retains more oxygen than you realize. And if you cannot find the reflex to inhale, by all means intervene and choose life: INHALE. This kind of ‘connected breathing’ happens when the inhale is allowed to become a reflex. Connected breathing is familiar to most musicians who play brass and wind instruments and, the didgeridoo.

On the C-2 Code of Honor I have to admit, the more I grow closer to fulfilling the code of honor I have established myself, the better I feel all the way around. What if someone has the capability to follow their code of honor perfectly: couldn’t this too lead to a overly-critical spirit and an elitist attitude, or becoming analretentive? I’m wondering if I won’t develop an attitude of self righteousness or lack of tolerance for others’ shortcomings? Do you think are there times when being rebellious against your own code of honor and consciously doing something(s) “wrong” can actually be a healthy thing on some level? AA: As we know, some rules are meant to be broken and sometimes, those rules are the ones we create ourselves. The urge to break rules can sometimes indicate rules that have outgrown their usefulness or no longer serve present time needs and values. As for criticizing or disrespecting the shortcomings of others, this sounds like a good rule to break and replace with another rule that accepts your own shortcomings, if only to better endure the flaws of others.

On C-2 Status issues I discovered that approval from respected persons invoke positive emotional responses in me. If I take responsibility for choosing those I respect (or the traits in people that I respect), it still feels as if I am remaining true to myself and not seeking it out. However, there is still something fishy about this to me. It may be that I am over-conceptualizing the situation and assigning outdated thoughts of “don’t need approval from anybody” to those that I have consciously chosen to respect. I am confused by the conflicting feelings between my self-approval and external respected-person approval. Overall, I think that this is a C-3 issue, making a problem out of nothing. AA: Your awareness of C-3 complicating things may be the result of intellect not yet learning how to accurately read and understand C-2 emotions on their own terms. C-2 does not have to make sense to function. Emotions follow their own fuzzy logic as contrary forces and contradictions. To a naive C-3, this can seem wrong or like a problem to be solved because “it doesn’t make sense.” When we can allow contrary forces and contradictions to be what they are, without confusing them for a problem to be solved, what was once perceived as complicated may soon be revealed as authentic complexity. My sense of status is so tied in with how others respond to me, to the point where it feels that to restore status means putting them down, to be dominating and aggressive, because they are the only measure of my status. And ‘good people’ don’t do that to other people so I just slide into guilt and anxiety, giving up all my power. It’s a fucking nightmare. AA: Your concern for how others respond to you and/or what they think of you can also mask a genuine care and love for people that you have not yet found a more open expression for. You may not be as misanthropic or antisocial as you think; perhaps you’re just struggling with a socially primitive shyness.

On Paranoia Personally, for almost a year now, I have become aware that in social situations, I catch people staring at me more often than not. I’m talking about strangers here. It usually happens like this—I will scan the room of

people, and almost immediately make eye contact with another person staring at me. Then I will move on, and make eye contact again. Also, I often look up at a particular random person as they simultaneously look up into my eyes, with no apparent reason for doing so. This happens across distances and in crowded rooms. It’s not the case that I’m always being watched, but more often that not, if I look around, there is someone staring at me. Its no longer a big deal to me, but I’ve come to feel that I am, in a way, being watched. I don’t mean this in a malicious way, and I don’t think it’s a paranoid notion. I have felt the paranoia beckoning. AA: As you may know, we have entered an era of unprecedented change made obvious by the fluctuating and collapsing global economic structures. Due to the massive investment of collective consciousness in C-3 symbolic reality of money, all that consciousness cannot help but destabilize as these structures wobble and break apart. Collective consciousness is now in a state of shock and wavering and adrift in its own kind of collective limbo bardo or, “Chapel Perilous”, if you will, until it restabilizes at a higher level of awareness than before. As a result of this “crisis in consciousness” people from all walks of life are currently undergoing various stages of inner awakening. We see flickers of awareness and precognition but without full cognition yet about what is happening and/or how to best manage those energies. I remember walking the streets the morning after a big earthquake and looking into the eyes of people. Everybody was still in shock yet we were all strangely alert and open to each other, looking fresh into each other’s eyes without the usual baggage of biases and judgments so often clouding our jaded alligator eyes. It had this miraculous utopian feeling about it, like, why can’t we stay open to each other like this all the time? I had some paranoia about manifestation and external/internal influences. I worried that, because I was getting good at manifestation that there was no way for me to know if I was creating the information I was perceiving, or if it was being presented to me by the external world. A friend of mine, when I asked her about it, asked me back, “Does it matter?” And I said, “Oh. No, I guess not.” I figure that no situation is created by a single person and that helps keep me from being paranoid.

AA: “Does it matter?” Yes and no. You raise an interesting point about the origin point of creation. I have been creating theatre and films for most of my life and even though the closing credits at the end of each film reads “Directed by Antero Alli,” a part of me knows it’s a lie. Filmmaking is not only a teamwork process but an internal creative process involving genuinely mysterious forces that do not belong to me. I call them muses. Though I must earn everybody’s trust on the set as “the director,” I quietly proceed as an impostor who knows the truth: it’s not me that creates. At best, I can make myself into a worthy vessel for the expression of creation through me. At the end of the day what matters to me is how well I served creation.

On Shock About the ‘shocks and anchors’ idea. I’m comfortable enough with the lower circuits acting as ‘anchors’ for the upper, but does ‘shocks’ generally refer to a checking/cautionary experience sent from the upper circuit to the lower (so to speak) to let you know one of your lower circuits is lacking integration? This was the sense I originally gleaned from the readings, but you refer to the 5th circuit shock as ‘rapture,’ which is presumably a more ‘positive’ or desirable experience. I suppose I’m just asking for clarification on the idea of ‘shocks.’ AA: The term “shock” gets a lot of bad press. I use the word for specific events that catalyze growth, mobility and transformation of some sort or another. I do not view shocks as innately negative or positive but neutral. I see that how we respond to a given shock can determine the degree we enhance (positive) or diminish (negative) ourselves. Using the 8-Circuit model, I can track four types of shock: Ecstasy, Uncertainty, Indivisibility, and Impermanence. For example, 5th circuit shock of ecstasy can be positive for some and negative for others, depending on how we respond to more pleasure, happiness or joy than we’re accustomed or “allowed” to. I see C-5 bliss as our natural somatic state when we’re free of the burdens of unresolved survival anxiety, power issues, over-thinking, moral judgments and familial guilt complexes—innate to the first four circuits, respectively—that can crimp our bliss capacity accordingly.

C-5 Solo Polarization Ritual Lab Reports

Polarity: anger/peace. The first 3 or 4 times going fwd/back were selfimage and performance-based in that I felt I had to ‘keep going’ ‘do something.’ I was very self-conscious. When I imagined I was done, I tried to “stay in no-form as long as it takes to stop identifying with the energies” …‘I thought, I’ll step back and see if I can not identify, and then I’ll know the difference.’ I then stepped back to see what would happen. What followed felt like trance. One pole contained power with light, almost delicate, intensely focused movement, on the other was a ball of heat moving around my body, which crumbled and made feeble noises. There was a sense that it wouldn’t let me go til IT was done. The movement didn’t seem to relate to any concept I had of these polarities. It was simpler; a more simple connection. My body did what it wanted in relation to the polarities, nothing conscious. When I felt ready to stop I noticed that the only real way out of it was to resume some other, everyday trance. AA: Your report suggests the layers you underwent in this ritual from C-3 mental impositions down to the simpler C-1 biological impulses and reflexes. The self-consciousness you mention is natural to the beginning stages of this ritual approach that expresses a kind of embarrassment of the social persona. With a little more practice, you can get over this embarrassment and dive into a more engaged participation with the forces themselves. Your words convey a breakthrough to me, where the forces innate to the polarity were allowed to carry and move you, direct you, rather than you trying to control or direct them. I see the choice you made afterwards to break trance as an intelligent one. Returning to a deeper No-Form state can also break trance but what you did —“resume some other, everyday trance”—served you well enough it seems. A key to unlocking the Solo Polarization Ritual involves selecting a meaningful polarity, one that is “hot” or highly personal to you, and somehow refers to the existing conditions of what is already up for you in your life. The point here is to get personal with yourself, to challenge and even confront yourself with a polarity that might even scare you a little. Or maybe a lot… Polarity: urban/rural. The no-form state was challenging, but I found it useful to keep my eyes shut and focus on breathing, as my body was starting to recover from jumping around the space. When I projected the two polarities they came across my mind’s eye as a flood of images. I used

my hands and arms as a way of flinging each polarity into its side of the room. First I entered the “urban” side. I didn’t notice much. Maybe a little tingling in my left hand? I just stood there, catching my breath and wondering if I was going to get any results. The preparation period seemed so successful, I think I was hoping for more. I walked over to the “rural” side, and still not much noteworthy. Maybe my right hand was tingling now? That was a notable change from the other side. I walked back and forth again, without noting much. The third time that I stood on the “rural” side things started to change. My feet started moving on their own. I was kind of dancing around, shuffling my feet and twirling around a little bit. After a little bit of time, I naturally drifted back over to the “urban” side. My feet almost instantly lost their range of motion. They stepped up and down in the same place while my upper body swung around in a sort of unpleasant way. My shoulders, head and neck were wanting to move a lot while my lower half stayed pretty still. This proved to by dizzying and somewhat uncomfortable. After a short while, I returned to the “rural” side where my movements were once again more fluid and easy. I moved back and forth three or four more times, experiencing the same type of movements on each side, and probably spending a few minutes on each side before moving back to the other. My last trip to the “urban” side of the room really sapped me. I started to feel almost sick and definitely dizzy. I stumbled back to the other side, as it didn’t feel right to end the ritual without returning to the “rural” side. I felt better after doing that, but was definitely drained. When I returned to no form, my hands and upper body felt cold. I stayed there with eyes closed for several breaths until I felt pretty normal. I’m curious about how I should interpret this experience, or if I should try to interpret it at all. Is the purpose of the exercise to diffuse some of the tension between these seeming opposites by giving expression to the underlying energies? On a basic level, I wasn’t surprised to find that I was more comfortable on the “rural” side, but I’m wondering if there is anything else I should be taking away from this. AA: I am glad you stayed with the ritual after the first pass into each side of the polarity, instead of stopping out of discouragement. Your commitment to stay the course produced some very interesting results. This particular ritual form

is very simple and evocative. What emerges from it, once we get beyond the mental chatter, are nothing less than patterns of motion animated by forces rising up from the existing conditions of our lives, as they have been absorbed by and embedded in the Body such as your body’s innate responses to urban and rural life. Note the fluidity and grace in the rural zone and the marching in place in the urban zone. The body never lies. No interpretation required here. Your C-1/C-5 body wisdom showed you the whole story, practically spelled it out in black and white. Polarity: dreamtime/waking time. Upon beginning to enter the no form state I was not sure if I was really in it or not, though I felt like I was given a nod that I could step back into the waking time. As soon as I had crossed the threshold I was immediately possessed by some gnarly mechanical primitive force. Rigid with veins of iron steel bridges creeping throughout the space, wanting movement but instead faced with constraint. Sadness, frustration, and anger, and rage all took hold. I began crying, moaning and gnarling. Then I stepped forward into the dreamtime and I was liberated by the shackles placed on me and it transformed me into a wolf of sorts and this energy began howling through me. Then many different creatures, beings, and entities entered into the vessel, all having a ball celebrating ecstatic movement and dance. The most distinctive movements was that of a monkey and then a crane. Then it began to spin me and we were spinning one way and then another. Then it felt sexual, touching all over, moaning with pleasure. I didn’t want to return to the other polarity but knew that I needed to. So I backed into the waking time and this time it behaved more like a clown. It felt like it knew what it was and aware of its limitations. It began to be a bit curious of the other side but feared it, too. Then I stepped back over to the other side and found myself merging with a particular creature. It explored me as I began to explore it. I can feel it taking shape within me. From what I gather it was a faun and it felt a bit distrustful of its proximity to the waking time that was nearby. It was content just being where it was. I just stayed with it feeling its presence within me. Eventually it left and I returned to the other side and felt some infancy take hold. There was tenseness in the arms and legs, movement was constrained and the infant was unsure how to move. So it began drooling

and spitting saliva onto myself, and feeling amused about it and then annoyed that it had saliva on itself. I returned to the No-Form state, this time it felt like the entire space was in No-Form as this presence was everywhere. There was a general feeling of connection with everything. Standing there still until the energy of the experience began to dissipate. Upon further reflection regarding the experience it felt as though the vessel was being possessed and the I became the witness which had veto power over the ritual if necessary. AA: Your words speak of a very powerful ritual, especially the ending where the presence of No-Form expanded like that. It seemed that you found your way into this ritual and were able to access these sources fairly directly and so, I recommend you practice this some more at your own discretion; well done.

On Kundalini Yoga and Yoga in General I’ve been meaning to start a practice of Kundalini yoga and I am finally ready to commit to doing this practice every day. What advice would you have before starting this journey? AA: I see the choice to consistently work at kundalini activation—until it actually happens—as a life-defining decision. I doubt you can reverse this experience after it happens. Certain doors, once opened, don’t just stay open; the doors themselves and their hinges disintegrate. What I know about this kundalini journey is this: once the serpent rises, there’s no stopping it. Hence, my question why: knowledge of motivation being key here. In kundalini activation, there’s no guarantee the white, hot fluid will make it all the way up to the crown chakra, as many esoteric Hindu texts suggest. It can hit a ‘road block’ along the way depending on which chakra is blocked by lack of personal integration in the experiences that chakra governs or repressed complexes or hurt or whatever. When this happens, the serpent can detour out through the chakra below that one with all its intended fury of transformation. The many years of practice often recommended to those undertaking Kundalini yoga involve incremental exposures and releases of blocked chakras. For example, if the heart chakra is blocked the kundalini can bounce down through the solar plexus chakra and seriously amplify your existing power dynamics. This outcome can be advantageous for any ego-driven motives (I

have no issue with ego) involving dominance in competition and/or increasing the power for performing ritual magick through ego-state cathexis, the conscious projection of one’s power into objects (talismans), situations and other people towards one’s own ends. Whatever window the snake leaps out of brings an amplification of the existing dynamics of that chakra and its correlating areas of life experience. What are your general thoughts on yoga? Do you think yoga can benefit anyone? AA: Amongst the many respected traditions of yoga, all seem to have one thing in common and that is this mind-over matter approach to the body where a set of pre-made forms are superimposed over the organic fluidity of the organism. The practice of yoga requires that we conform precisely to specific physical poses developed centuries ago by yogini’s and yoga adepts towards releasing currents of energy in the body. I think this is why yoga works so well for those already demonstrating a strong mental grip on their bodies—the mind-overmatter types—that becomes a standard way of knowing and experiencing themselves. However, the same yoga poses can be anything but natural to others—the mind-under-matter types—who try to perform them in failure or even injury. Contrary to what most yoga teachers advertise, yoga is not for everybody. Eastern yoga practices work well for some people, while not working so well for others and I count myself in the latter category. To take an opposite “mind under matter” approach would involve conforming and surrendering to the innate forces and energy centers within our own bodies. This state of self-surrender would give way to authentically convulsive expressions of our own bio-idiosyncratic forms, exotic gestures and spontaneous mudras. This would result in a yoga born from surrender to one’s own internal landscape of sources. I think such a yoga would only be possible for those who have discovered ways to relax their desire to control and also, to be able to release the mental grip over their bodies. Practitioners would also have to be willing and able to develop their bodies as a physical instrument to be played by these forces, not unlike the way a flautist plays a flute. This “backwards yoga” has been the overall aim of my paratheatre work, my yoga, since 1977. And just like traditional yoga, it is not for everybody.

On No-Form

In the practice of the standing No-Form, would you recommend eyes open or closed for this? AA: At first eyes closed or open just a slit. This is to minimize external stimulus and allow the attention to be redirected within. Later as one becomes more proficient with one’s No-Form practice, eyes open or closed doesn’t matter as much (but this is usually after much practice). Would you see any downside to practicing it in spare moments in your day so you get better at entering it for when you’re doing rituals? It feels like something I could do to some extent even walking around, but more so sitting on the bus and things like that. AA: I do this all the time. This is actually a very good way to build a casual relationship with No-Form. Casual is key so that No-Form does not become a big deal. No point in making nothingness a big deal. Within the rituals, esp. when doing no form before a polarity, would it make sense to resist the first urges to go on to the polarity in favor of making sure you get to the bottom of no form first (pun intended)? I found in the Anima Shrine task that I wasn’t sure if I’d really achieved no form yet but felt pulled towards my polarity so just went with it. But maybe I should have stuck it out more. AA: From No-Form, sense the presence of the energies projected into the space until you feel its ‘pull,’ rather than the inner urge or push to enter. This gives credence to a presence beyond ego urge. There is also no achieving total No-Form which represents a process of an infinite experience. One can only deepen the No-Form receptivity by degrees until one reaches a certain limit where one can go no further (until maybe the next attempt). A key here is “no effort.” Any trying to deepen No-Form results in only trying. Let No-Form act on you as a solvent, a gentling force of dissolution. I have been at it 30 years and am still at Beginner’s Mind. This is the vaguest question: it’s about the technique and/or intention applied when doing no form. I’m seeing it so far as a deep listening down into myself to create internal space. I’m not sure how to apply words to this, but would you say the approach is largely ‘intentional’: i.e., you’re wordlessly saying to yourself ‘I am nothing’ and waiting for that to

manifest in your experience? An easier way to put it might be just to ask if you’re able to flesh out how to ‘do’ no form? AA: The process starts out intentional and voluntary; we make a choice to empty, to be nothing, etc. At some point, the experience takes over. This usually happens when that part of us that actually IS nothing steps forth and replaces the previous intentionality. It steps forth after the conscious mind sanctions and thus, invites, its presence by choosing to “be nothing.”

On Accidental Upper Circuit Openings I believe that the C7 is being activated regularly when I do software development, which at the moment is daily. While I am working on problems of this kind there tends to be a lot of, not necessarily interesting, mental stimulation (C3). What I’ve been noticing is that my perception is altered in some way that I’ve been seeing auras and wisps of light within the environment. This experience hasn’t stabilized yet though I feel like it may at some point. Is this C-7 or C6? AA: The sense-deprivation that sometimes accompanies long stretches of computer coding can sometimes abstract the consciousness into intermittent C-6 action. C-7 experience tends to engage the whole being as an allencompassing interconnectedness of everything; synchronicity is an example of the absorption phase of C-7.

On the First and Second Attentions In regards to the “First Attention” and “Second Attention”; are there more Attentions known at this time? I’ve always felt like I would manage to understand them better once I knew about the others. I’m still unsure if there are more that I just haven’t heard of yet? AA: Heh, there’s always more, isn’t there? However, until these first two attentions can be engaged and even mastered, what point is there to list any others beyond the intellectual itch to know they are there. The thing about first attention is that most people who are raised in western societies, schools, and jobs are primarily fixated in it. We can seek proof, evidence, and answers to satiate intellectual curiosity without actually experiencing anything beyond the

ideas in our heads. Not saying you are doing this; just saying how our sometimes voracious intellectual appetites can dominate other, perhaps equally valid, hungers and needs for other types of “food.” I don’t know if this is exactly the ‘second attention’ you refer to, but I have a general sense of zooming out that I first achieved when I discovered meditation, a sense of being outside the robot and calmly watching. This is the most in control and centered I generally feel, but I’m not sure if that’s the same as the second attention. AA: You may have cultivated an unintentional talent for psychic disassociation through your meditation practice. Second Attention, as I define it, is a C-6 attribute that refers to that awareness linked to presence, phenomena and energy and, without assigning it any meaning. Second attention is not a dissociative event but a linking event. Intuition links us directly with our inner voice and innermost impressions; it is not a dividing or dissociative event.

On Synchronicity How do you differentiate synchronicity from precognition? Generally speaking, does precognition concern thoughts correlating with reality as we experience it, while synchronicity is more about outside events correlating with each other? AA: I use the word ‘synchronicity’ to refer to the perfect timing of what is already happening all the time within and around us, whether we are aware of it or not. From the vantage of C-7, synchronicity is the standard time zone of the cosmos at large. As we get closer to our true centers and aligned or synchronized with our true selves, I think we become more aware of the phenomena of synchronicity; it becomes more obvious. Precognition is a word for the inner knowing that sometimes enables us to be cognizant of something about to happen before it actually happens, like thinking of someone and then they telephone you. I don’t see precognition as a function of thought but of intuition and second attention.

On Metaprogramming Do you have any thoughts on Robert Anton Wilson’s perspective on

Metaprogramming and why he thought it was a Circuit 7 activity? In my experience it is clearly a Circuit 6 phenomena. Why do you think he saw it as C7? Perhaps using the Autonomous Will of C6 to arrange C1–5 issues but with the energy and current of C7? AA: Good question. My speculation here is that Bob had an abrupt and powerful C-7 awakening, maybe with a very strong dose of LSD, and was exposed to that chain of biological command where DNA manufactures (and thus controls) the Brain & CNS which, in turn, control the Body. If during such a powerful C-7 activation his ego identified with the DNA matrix, I could see how he might come out of this experience pegging C-7 as the metaprogramming circuit. He also saw C-7 linked with genetic engineering which can be seen as a type of metaprogramming. I think if Hitler had studied the 8-CB model, he also would have pegged C-7 as the metaprogramming circuit but with obviously very different motives. Beyond genetic engineering, I don’t think we can “program” C-7 or C-8, which to me signify states of consciousness so far beyond ego volition they border on the absurd. I think ego volition stops with C-6. I also think C-1 through C-6 can be self-modified and even transformed through the Autonomous Will and Vision of C6 but only after it’s sufficiently anchored in C-2 (and aligned with the imperatives and bias of the emotional body to keep things “real”).

On the Conscious Trance Technique Is there a way to gauge the degree to which these might be relevant to my chakras and not just chatter in my monkey mind? I felt pretty focused during the exercise, but was definitely still experiencing errant thoughts. AA: With more practice, we can begin to discern between C-3 projections and C-6 perceptions. Projections tend to be more pushy and aggressive whereas perceptions tend to be more like the calm of a mirrored lake. Take note of the qualitative differences between them as they emerge. Errant thoughts can emerge if C-3 has nothing to do and becomes bored, curious and starts talking to itself (internal chatter). Trancing out and channeling energies may also be genuinely exotic or strange to usual C-3 functioning. To minimize errant thoughts, I suggest giving C-3 something to do while you are busy engaging in these meditations. Give it the task of witnessing, of simply paying attention, for the purpose of learning something new. C-3 naturally likes to learn and if

the meditation can be introduced as a learning event, C-3 may stop to take a look see.

On the Dangers of Psychic Trancework When you say this CONSCIOUS TRANCE technique can get you high as it activates similar brain chemistry as psilocybin, what do you mean by this? And are there dangers to this? AA: This trance technique can trigger a mild release of serotonin, a neurotransmitter chemical released naturally every night during the onset of sleep. In that hypnogogic state, between awake and dream, we begin to see images forming by themselves in our own minds or against the dark interior screen of our closed eyelids. The molecular structure of psilocybin mimics serotonin at the synapse level and tricks the brain into thinking it’s serotonin. When I started learning this technique, I stopped taking mushrooms and LSD because I felt that I could achieve similar results and with far less negative side-effects. This is also why this Conscious Trance meditation should be performed with prudence (no more than thirty minutes at a time) and then balanced by posttrance pleasure-inducing activities like C-1 eating or exercise, C-2 strength testing, C-3 writing and talking, C-4 socializing and C-5 raptures. This process of balancing our energies expresses a very important responsibility for anyone pursuing C-6 psychic awareness and abilities. The danger of psychic work comes with flooding the brain with too much neurotransmitter serotonin from too much trancework and not enough physical activity and pleasure. Neglecting to find pleasure-inducing activities for triggering dopamine and endorphins— to counteract and balance the serotonin—is not only stupid, but will eventually shut down the clairvoyant channels maybe turn you into a flaming asshole. Around 15 minutes into this meditation, things started to take off all by themselves. I began rocking and shaking around in my seat, and my breathing changed radically. I seemed to keep inhaling endlessly, and hardly ever breathed out; seemingly impossible but there you go. I started generating a huge amount of heat and actually broke into a sweat on my forehead. A jerking, nodding motion of my head began that continued for

the rest of the process (in the end it was actually hurting my neck but I didn’t feel the desire to stop it). I was shaking around like a rag doll. At times there were bursts of bright light behind my eyelids. During the scanning phase, I didn’t get many clear images or intuitions (perhaps a tree/mushroom cloud around the heart and solar plexus areas). I didn’t experience any frustration, just a lack of clear additions to what I was already going through. About 25 minutes in I very suddenly knew it was over. The energy just flew out of me and I flopped down and broke trance as per the instructions. AA: The spark of clairvoyance will not strike in everyone. Success depends on the readiness of each CNS to engage consciously at C-6. This readiness may involve the degree of C-2 integration in the individual. When done correctly, this technique enacts a physically passive, psychically active state. Rocking and shaking around in your seat and shaking around like a rag doll are not examples of a physically passive state. The body kicks and bucks like that when the ego identifies with the earth/cosmic energies, rather than simply allowing them to run their course freely throughout the body (while your attention continues resting in the center of the brain) and without identifying with them. This requires a lack of self-investment. Lack of self-investment means don’t merge with the energies; the ego must relax. By the way, your reaction here is common to many who attempt this meditation; it happened to me at the start, too. I was a juice junkie and couldn’t get enough of the psychic thrill factor, that is, until the thrill chilled the factor. Get too invested and the channels close down. If you have the time and inclination, please do this meditation again. Exercise patience and relax the tendency to merge with the cycling of earth/cosmic energies. Let your body become as a hollow vessel for these forces. Remember, we are looking to establish a simultaneous state of physical passivity and psychic activity. This involves a small ego death. Your first attempt will have been successful if you can discover what not to do next time. Is there a danger of overdoing this psychic meditation technique? AA: There can be danger in overdoing almost anything. Don’t do it for more than 30 minutes at a time until you feel comfortable with it and then, experiment with longer durations. Do not drive a car or operate machinery

under its influence for at least an hour after you break trance. When this technique is done correctly the effect is potent but in a gentle and subtle way, not in a violent or earthshaking way. It’s not like the Solo Polarization ritual which engages a physically active AND psychically active state together. Remember, this requires a physically passive/psychically active to work effectively and safely.

On the Anima/Animus Shrine Ritual I have always had this idea of a perfect dream lover. Not to sound arrogant but men of all ages get easily attracted to me yet I hardly get attracted to anyone. Out of curiosity I did this ritual to see what happens. I followed your instructions. I chose love/fear as my polarities. The first ritual did not take long. I oscillated between love and fear a couple of times and let the energies move me until they dissipated by themselves. Then the Animus came. To my surprise it was nothing close to what I had in mind. I felt a bulky figure with a sloppy miss match suit on, who had no idea about anything. I let it merge with me and move me around. At some point I started singing my favorite love song. After a while I separated from him and started dancing with him and then I let it go. The movements were very similar to ragdoll jogging and have helped my body get stronger and more flexible. AA: The Anima and Animus archetypes rarely appear as we might think or preconceive, as they dwell and emerge from the collective wellspring of autonomous forces with lives and agendas of their own. Sometimes this is why their appearance can act like a shock to the ego and yet, their presence is undeniable when they arrive before us. I am grateful that these energies are helping your body get stronger and more flexible. I approached the ritual with some fear & trepidation, afraid that either a) I wouldn’t be able to shut up my monkey-mind cynic enough to commit fully, or b) Something pretty disturbing that I wasn’t prepared for would happen. I managed to use this negative energy to increase my commitment, which I was pleased about. I threw myself into the polarity (CHAOS/ORDER) deeper than before. Returning to No-Form, I felt the shrine pulsing behind me. I swayed, feet, calling the Anima to visit me. A yearning welled up within me and I swayed upwards, felt almost lifted off my feet. The Anima seemed like

ghostly wisps circling the space around me I danced and stumbled around a lot while letting this spirit fill me. I said ‘I want my soul back’ a couple of times, and sang high tones, then low. I eventually extracted myself from the Anima and started to dance with her. This was very flowing and graceful compared with the previous stage. At one point I moved to embrace her but was compelled to keep my arms open and let her dance around me at will. I asked her ‘What is your purpose for me?’ Her answers were feeling-based, but she seemed to say something like: ‘You don’t own me, I’m a part of you. Don’t look for me in other people, there is more than enough inside you. Use me to take back your power and autonomy.’ I asked, ‘What should I do about impulses?’ and she said: ‘Live them. Don’t be owned by them. They’re part of your power, not your weakness.’ Again this is more the feeling I got rather than actual words. I said goodbye, bowed to the shrine and returned to No-Form. Found it quite difficult to break trance but actually the act of clearing up the shrine and rearranging the furniture in the living room gradually restored normal, non-ritual consciousness. AA: I commend your high level of commitment here and the courage to enter enough of a state of real vulnerability to be moved by the force of the Anima. I also note the respect you showed for not analyzing what in essence was a force and condition of deep feeling, an experience that brought you more truth than any amount of C-3 knowledge could have offered. I see that you discovered how breaking down the temple can act as a good trance dispersion device. Well done.

On C-4 Mechanical and Spontaneous Guilt I’m struggling a little with the spontaneous versus mechanical notion regarding guilt. I can clearly see its usefulness if you have a certain clarity about your own codes and so on, but I think I’m in danger of using a pretense of fighting external moral codes to indulge in things that are actually self-betrayal. A tangled web… I’ll engage in things that are unhealthy for my own integrity, but simply stopping it is pretty hard. I guess I’m fairly well entrenched in a reevaluation of all values with regard to the society around me.

AA: This conflict between one’s own emerging ethos and the external moralities of family and society can generate a certain internal pressure. However this conflict is not entirely destructive as it creates the friction and heat necessary for transformation. Without that heat, no struggle and without struggle, very little chance of rebirth. The trouble with fighting against any external codes is that we end up fighting and draining ourselves since we are actually a part of society and family. The key here, I believe, involves enacting a more conscious rebellion which requires more clarity on what is worth fighting for, so you can fight for that and stop fighting a losing battle against society, family or whatever. The good fight amounts to fighting for what you believe in. I find it difficult to distinguish between low self-esteem, powerlessness, shame and guilt; they all blend together. Antero, how do you define shame? AA: Shame seems related to the experience of humiliation and the impulse to cover oneself or hide as a reaction to being dishonored, disgraced or maybe even condemned. Whereas guilt is like just feeling bad for doing something perceived as bad, whether by oneself, others or society. Power loss can result in feelings of helplessness, which is not the same as being helpless (though it can FEEL that way). Low self-esteem relates to negative ego-inflation, of making yourself too important in a dissing, cutting down sort of way.

On the Cloud of Unknowing My experience was that my body got lost, nothing there but soft edges…a real feeling of there being no floor and the world way below. Then I was just the sound again, without a body, nowhere in particular. For a moment I imagined I was high above a landscape…it was a spontaneous imaginary thing, probably the suggestion of ‘cloud,’ with a real feeling of there being no floor and the world way below. Breaking trance involved wriggling and swaying and then bouncing up and down vigorously for a while. Does that sound like I’m pursuing the intent of the task, or am I in cuckoo-land, bullshitting myself? AA: You ask, “what sense could I imagine it with if it is behind me?” The same sense that lets us know someone is standing or walking behind us. We all have “eyes in the back of our heads,” however, this sense of our backside is

often ignored in lieu of the more socially accepted behavior of always “being upfront.” Backside awareness can also evoke more awareness of subconscious states (and why I suggest backing into a side of the polarity in the C-5 Solo Polarization ritual). Sometimes the imagination is not just “imagination” but a link to the imaginal world; not a make-believe pretend world but the internal landscape of dreamstuff. As to whether or not you were in cuckoo-land, bullshitting yourself or not, that’s a question for you to sit with. Though I must say something spoke to me in your words: “My experience was that my body got lost, nothing there but soft edges…a real feeling of there being no floor and the world way below. Then I was just the sound again, without a body, nowhere in particular.” Sounds like the Cloud of Unknowing to me.

On the Dreaming Ritual OK…that was fantastic! How can such simple movements create such fantastic sensations? Is it because the dream comes back to life and you, in a sense, become the dream? From those two simple movements the dream is as, or more vivid than when originally dreamed. This is really amazing to me. AA: Movements recalled and extracted from dreams carry the power of the dreaming in them. When these movements are performed as remembered (without embellishment), they can act as triggers for the images, emotions and forces innate to the dream they originated in. The dreaming movements act as living dream talismans in this way. When you have at least three of them and can piece them together as one fluid movement cycle (as described in the actual ritual instructions), another level of the dreaming is activated. I find this Dreaming Ritual works great with retro-dreams. I’m experiencing a dark depression though, not an overwhelming one, but a sad, contemplative one. Could this have something to do with entering back into dream modes that have a basis in depressing times? Any suggestions for handling the depression in connection to the Ritual work? I’m not sure it is connected to the Dreaming Ritual, as present circumstances are also causing a type of depression. AA: Are you sure it’s depression? As I know depression, it’s not an emotion.

It’s an emotional flatline. Sadness, grief and sorrow are lively compared to real depression. Depression can occur from any disconnect with C-2, especially after constantly repressing feelings you have not been ready to face. Depression can also occur by any event of significant power loss, where your emotional tank was drained by self-victimizing choices you’ve made and/or agreements to carry the heavy emotional burden of another. I have not seen the Dreaming Ritual cause depression in the 20 years I have been working with it. However, it does engage the conscious ego with the subconscious through our dreams and so, performing the ritual can trigger repressed emotions and expose whatever defenses you’re invested in to keep them at bay. Ongoing repression consumes a lot of energy and can drain the emotional tank.

On C-8 Consciousness Projection I really was up there out of my body! I felt relieved and free and enjoyed being so far up; I felt thrilled and lighter. It was easier to breathe and my vision was sharp. When I came back to my body I noticed that I felt my body more clearly that before; sensations and tensions. I notice that I was IN it instead of BEING it. I am frightened of this ability because I have lost contact with grounding before when I did these kind of rituals…floating off into cosmic foofoo land. I also have a very active imagination when being fueled with fear. Antero, do you have any advice as to fading out this fear response? Could it be a key to balancing it with C-4 activities like sharing C-8 experiences with others? I really want to integrate c8 consciousness in my life now. AA: This meditation worked for you and then I think C-3 got spooked. This C8 event goes against C-3 logic: “how can I be in two places at once? does not compute, does not compute.” If it could not analyze the event, it may have frozen up with panic, like a computer freezing up and crashing. It’s up to you to put your mind at peace and communicate with yourself about what’s going on with this experiment. Talk to yourself in a reassuring way. Explain how this experience is not the same as going insane. Perhaps it’s time to update your definitions of in sanity and sanity. One way to include C-3 in this meditation (and fade the fear away) is to instruct your mind to pay attention and witness

the experience, say, “hey, take a look at this. Check this out. Look what we can do. Witness this.” It can also help to have friends to share this experience with.

On Chapel Perilous Do you find similarities between chapel perilous and Gurdjieff ’s explanation of the moon or Castaneda’s relationship with the eagle’s emanations? AA: The experience of Chapel Perilous can differ for each person as much as the ideas and thoughts that separate us from each other. Castaneda’s ‘eagle’s emanations’ reflect the cultural imagery of the shamanic tradition he was absorbing and/or inventing, just as Gurdjieff’s explanation of being ‘food for the moon’ reflected his Armenian cultural bias around the Feminine which, in some cultures, is deemed inferior to the ‘Sun Absolute.’ I think Chapel Perilous represents the crosscurrents where our cultural reality tunnels intersect with our own conceptual maps and where our individual egos are entangled in the cross hairs. I think escaping the Chapel Perilous involves extracting our identification (our egos) from the cultural matrix we live in and strengthening the warp and the weave of our own tapestry. And with our hardearned autonomy, we can learn to weave in and out of the cultural cloth with minimal entanglement. About the Confession, Prayer and Breaking Trance: How does one know if portions of themselves are “stuck” in C.P.? Also, is it always a negative thing to have parts of ourselves “lost” or missing? Can we ever really become “whole” in this space/time continuum and, better yet, do we want to, meaning; are there or could there be benefits to having aspects of ourselves in other places (C.P.), provided we are functioning fairly well without calling these portions of ourselves back “home”? I’m amazed at the thinking processes this course has awakened in me, and will continue to work with the material you have presented here. AA: Typically, you can notice parts of yourself in CP by a certain vacancy within yourself. In Angel Tech, there’s a section called “Mechanical Problems” (pp. 64–124) with a sub-section called “Pretty Vacant” that details how you can identify those pieces. Sometimes we have to get lost before we can be found. By the way, you may want to eliminate the word “always” from your

vocabulary unless you really believe this word applies to anything real.

On Soul Loss and Retrieval I understand that the feeling of being lost in Chapel Perilous is similar to the concept of soul loss—What do you think about the need or process of Soul Retrieval? AA: To some of us soul loss is a reality and not just a concept. It’s a way of knowing something essential is missing in our lives but not knowing what to do about it or how to get it back, whatever “it” is. From my view, soul loss expresses a dominant condition of modern society. The causes of this malady are too complex to explain here but it also involves death of the imagination, a preliminary condition for soul loss. For those awakening to this crisis in consciousness, a naked need is exposed for what you call Soul Retrieval and this need, if listened to closely, can dictate exactly what is necessary to call or sing your soul back. Exposing this need can be a personally difficult and painful process. It requires the undoing of many family and socially ingrained programs towards uncovering a highly vulnerable state, a nakedness of being requiring its own safe settings and support systems to emerge and blossom. I think the current economic crisis (a symptom of a deeper crisis in consciousness) reflects how we have grown accustomed to getting our way too much. We know more about what we want than what we actually need. After such heavy immersion in material abundance, we have lost touch with our immaterial spiritual needs and have forgotten that we even have such needs in the first place. Soul Retrieval rituals are common to many indigenous tribes. Some of these ancient rituals have been appropriated by entrepreneuring ‘plastic shamans’ who charge exorbitant fees for the vision quest promise of getting your soul back. Soul retrieval is big business in any souldead materialist society. THE ANIMA/ANIMUS Shrine ritual in this course doubles as a kind of soul retrieval ritual that emerged out of a naked need of my own after suffering a massive Anima attack/projection where I was wandering willynilly soulless in Chapel Perilous.

On Evaluating the Eight-Circuit Brain Course

My understanding of the 8-CB model has changed in that I now understand more clearly the primacy of experience. Thinking about any given circuit can provide some degree of insight or understanding but cannot take the place of attempting to activate that circuit through one of the exercises or rituals. Most of my work during the last 8 weeks has focused on activating and understanding the lower 4 circuits, and I have a much clearer understanding now of how they can support the experiences available in C5–8. Realizing the relevance and role of my body, my emotions, my thoughts, and my community in relation to any higher circuit activity has radically changed my way of perceiving the world. This has also been a great foundation for changing the way I exist in the world. Before the course, I was fixated on having experiences of C6–8. Now I am more content to be patient, realizing that these realms will unfold as I nurture my lower circuits. AA: It seems you have earned some wisdom here. Many fall in love with the prospect of upper circuit adventures yet without lower circuit integration, they invariably end up as psychic casualties of one form or another while parasiting others for the lower circuit energy they are lacking. The framework provided here has also allowed me to understand my ignorance more easily. The distinction between C2 and C4 has been especially useful and has made working on these areas independently more manageable. Before the course, my emotional and social lives were sort of a chaotic soup, of which I struggled to get a clear understanding. Making some distinctions between C2 and C4 experiences and patterns has allowed me to more easily recognize progress when it happens, rather than feeling bogged down by the enormity of my emotional, interpersonal life. AA: Often times, C-2 is not as interactive with others as we may FEEL it to be but rather more self-invested in issues, fears, emotions tied to our own bodies and the memories and the histories they act as vessels for. Emotions remain a highly personal, often nonverbal and immediate expression of our responses to the environment and whatever “climate” that entails. Of the experiments I completed, the conscious trance, directional/nondirectional jogging, and C5 polarity ritual were the most effective. I plan to continue practicing each of these, and am also committed to creating a

physical space where I can more easily practice the rituals, as this was difficult for me to secure on a regular basis. Another important lesson, which this course helped me to realize, is that I am very sensitive to my physical environment. Establishing dominion of the spaces I inhabit (at home and work) has been an ongoing project throughout these 8 weeks. I have made some important progress and am also exploring how I can not only assert my presence in a space but make the space beautiful, functional, and productive. This is a rich area for me to explore, I think. AA: I agree 100% with you here and the only think I might add is to experiment with making statements. When you feel strongly about something or feel confident enough to stand behind something 100%, make a statement. No need to justify it or tag it with “I think” or other diminishing comments. C2 loves making statements and feeling sure about stuff, just as C-6 loves uncertainty. Certainty and uncertainty make a good C-2/C-6 polarity. Important exercises were the emotional asset/liability list, recognizing C3 biases, and the C6 2nd attention exercise (I’ve taken to practicing this whenever I’m walking alone outside) This has helped me to see the innate similarities between my dreams and my waking world. AA: C-6 second attention tends to avail itself more as C-2 becomes more integrated. It’s almost as if emotionally we need to fee what or who we can depend on, as well as where we can feel the bond of attachment and be invested as a way of establishing ourselves in the body and in real time. As we grow more comfortable with the knowledge of our emotional attachments and investments, we tend to resist it less and are less threatened by emotional commitment. This is especially true when we know how securing our emotional reality lays the foundation for C-6 experience. It may seem like a “paradox” to C-3 (which can be easily puzzled by apparent contradictions) but the more sure we are about certain things in life, the more uncertainty we may be willing to permit; the more uncertainty we can permit, the C-6 opens up. C4 needs a lot of work. I have made some progress getting over selfconsciousness (which has been deep-seated since childhood), and feel an improvement in the honesty and spontaneity I am bringing to my interactions with people. I need to work on engaging people. The “talk to a stranger” exercise was a hurdle I have yet to overcome. C5 is accessible,

but not reliably so. I am committed to my yoga practice and see this as an important access point for C5. C6 is also developing, as I strengthen my emotional boundaries and become less attached to my desire for experiencing subtle energies. C7 and C8 didn’t get a lot of attention during this course. I plan to focus on them some more in the coming months. AA: Getting over the self-consciousness you refer may require effort. If you do not apply yourself, it may nag at you like a needy dog. The application I refer to is the exercise of getting your attention off yourself. This can be accomplished by approaching any action with the intention of placing your full attention on what you are doing, rather than watching yourself doing it. If you’re feeling daring, apply this to the C-4 action of talking to a stranger. Place your attention on the other person, not on yourself talking with the other person. Keep eye contact and pay attention only to what you are doing. This task of getting your attention off yourself and onto the action at hand can be applied to almost any action but you may notice a bigger change if you succeed in doing this around other people. If you succeed it may shock you a little; surprise you. Your self-consciousness is like training wheels ready to be removed when you are ready to ride the bike. C6 was a nice taste of the world of subtle energies. My conception of subtle energies has been demystified considerably during this course. I feel like I am less invested in my preconceived notions and more open to experiencing these energies on their own terms. AA: This suggests to me that you have accessed the second attention and have opened the gates to further discovery, if that is what you wish for. The key here, of course, is relaxing self-investment and preconceptions to, as you say, experiencing these energies on their own terms. C4 is the area I feel most stuck in. I have realized that many of my relationships are vestiges of former aspects of myself. Thus, I feel like I need some new friends to accompany me on my next stage of development. This made me realize that I’m a little bit out of practice when it comes to making friends. My biggest struggle is taking the first step—initiating conversation, saying hello, trying to find a common ground. Once that has been established, it’s easier for me to move forward. I feel confident in my values and my capacity for living in accordance with them, and I don’t have

serious issues with trust. Community and belonging (on a deep level) are what I miss. Any advice you might have in this area would be most appreciated. AA: As we develop as awakening individuals, we often outgrow old social ties with those who either can’t keep up with us or have been revealed to be less than friends or were never friends to start with or insist that we remain the way they used to know us. The truth is, these kind of social mutations come with the turf of personal growth. Until we meet up with those who are also committed to their own awakening, we walk the solitary path until we find each other. The self-consciousness you refer to earlier may be your greatest C-4 obstacle. My guess is that at some point you will become bored with it when the need for friends and community upstages your self-consciousness. The social aspect of our existence is important for several reasons. All C-4 social experiences test, exercise, express and incorporate all previous circuits in a complex web of interactions. Sometimes, we find out more about ourselves by interacting with others than by staying in the house. As you risk more social exposure and interaction, especially with people that don’t always agree with you, the brain’s synapses fire up in the moment to moment discovery of not just who you are or who you thought you were but, who you are becoming. If C-4 experience is anything, it’s about a shifting field made up of some of the most highly unpredictable energies and entities on the planet: other people.

Section 4: HOW I GOT THIS WAY “A Neurological Autobiography” “The Eight-Circuit Brain Interview” “The Magus and the Mystic” “The Cosmic Trigger Effect”

“A Neurological Autobiography” A Personal Chronology of Outside Shocks and Hedonic Upgrades

Like many others, I have survived a series of real life shocks, all of which have coincided with specific turning points on my path. I have chosen to frame these turning points as a personal chronology of hedonic upgrades, shocks and imprints, from birth to present time. As you read through these episodes, see if you can identify the specific circuits activated along the way and the shocks that triggered them. You may notice that I have refrained from using the word “circuits” in my personal story. Oddly enough, I don’t naturally use this word in the ways I privately think, speak, or write about myself. I tend to focus more on actual experiences first and then, see if and how they might be symbolized later. — A.A. Helsinki, Finland, shortly after sunrise, November 11, 1952. I was born drunk. My mother told me she drank brandy to relax her muscles and ease the pain during her labor with me. I asked her if she thought I was born drunk and she said, “Probably.” If this is true, and I have no reason to believe otherwise, I count intoxication as my first infant imprint (which may help explain a few things). Though I really didn’t start drinking alcohol until I was forty, I’ve always felt a deep-rooted emotional need to get high. When I don’t meet that basic hedonic need, my emotional tank drains and when it’s running on vapors, depression sets in. Depression is not the problem, whereas not meeting my

needs can become very problematic. Fulfilling my basic emotional need to get high has meant doing whatever it takes to alter my consciousness towards an exalted state. This need is not unique to me but historically reflects one of the oldest human rituals we know of. For tens of thousands of years we humans have been extremely resourceful in finding and creating all kinds of ways for getting high. Whether it has been to escape the dismal drudgery of mundane existence or the dreariness of cultural ennui or simply to expand the outer limits of our consciousness, we humans are hard-wired to get high. A FATHERLESS CHILDHOOD, AN OPEN HORIZON Toronto, Canada, 1955–1961. My mother abandoned my father when I was three. She, her mother, my younger brother, and I migrated southwestward to Toronto where I enjoyed an uncommonly happy childhood. I satisfied my hedonic needs by playing ice hockey and soccer. I was never an indoor kid. Though I loved the speed and coordination necessary to excel in these sports, I was eventually bored by the increasing climate of competition. I found my next big thrill in the improvised war games my brother Timo and I, along with our new Canadian friends, played by fake-killing and fake-dying around each other. “Hit the Dirt” was a highly theatrical game that gave us many chances to die many times over and in as many different ways as we wished. Whoever died the ‘best death’ (and I don’t recall any argument about this) earned the role of Executioner who would then ask each of the next round’s condemned exactly how they wanted to die. This was no morbid kid sport. This was kid heaven on the empty suburban lots of south side Toronto. It also doubled as an accidental death/rebirth initiation ritual which, when looking at my life today, tells me how some things never change. Los Angeles, CA, 1961–1970. When I was ten years old, my family migrated further southwest to southern California where my highs also found new horizons. My brother and our new friends discovered the bum rush of hopping trains in Highland Park while getting dizzy puffing Lucky Strikes in the boxcars. We quit the hobo fantasy after a neighborhood kid got smacked by a train which sliced him into so many pieces the police had to carry him away in pillowcases. I didn’t see it happen but the image of the pillowcases scared the living daylights back into me. We soon discovered the underground expedition pleasures of the pitch-black sewer systems below greater Los Angeles; no

flashlights allowed and no turning back once we got in. Seeing nothing, all our other senses dilated to embrace the blackness before us. We were urban tunnel rats foraging in the abyss for the light to guide us out again. And it always did. Our expeditions were cut short with the 6 o’clock News report of flash floods filling the sewers, our sewers. It was time to leave the tunnels to the real rats and whatever else scrambled and slithered down there. From here, we graduated from the underworld to the rooftops of neighborhood apartment buildings, playing international spy games, gathering classified information from whatever and whomever we saw through open windows. The phrase “peeping tom” never entered our naive, inquisitive minds. In looking back, all these youthful follies were also positive social experiments. None of them could have ever happened without my younger brother Timo and our evershifting circle of friends. When psychedelic drugs came to town, however, it was time to put childish games aside. MY WORLD ON DRUGS As a rebellious teen growing up in the suburbs of the San Fernando Valley during the late sixties, drugs were not just a recreational habit—they were my world. Drugs were available everywhere. My drugs of choice were pot, shrooms, and acid, plus a few regretful detours into the rubber room zones of PCP and the chattering jitters of bennies. Back then, pot and acid were first rate and very inexpensive. Throughout high school, I did just enough dealing to keep a steady supply for myself and my friends. At fifteen, a shattering epiphany accompanied the peak of my first LSD trip. In a flash I realized that nothing I was learning in High School, except maybe typing class and Drama 101, could ever help me survive in the real world. Up until then I was a shy straight-A student trying my best to do the right thing. I decided that the New and Improved Right Thing was achieving the minimal grade point average necessary to graduate. This revelation marked my first renunciation of culturally imposed values, an imprint and a shift that would gather steady momentum in the coming decades. MY CATASTROPHIC FIRST SEXUAL IMPRINT Hollywood and Burbank, CA, 1968. I was fifteen and cruising the bustling Sunset strip for girls with my best friend Keith in the high hopes of ruining my virginity. We struck estrogen gold at His Place, a local make-out pad run by

Christian hippies, where my teenage romantic ideal—long straight dark hair, big eyes, hips, and lips, and a body to die for—appeared out of the blue and started hitting on me. I couldn’t believe my good luck and told Keith that I’d catch up with him later. Soon after locking lips she asked me to go outside with her where her car was parked. We piled into the back seat and went at it. Deep into the heat of lust, the front door of her car suddenly opens and this guy gets in, starts the engine and drives off with us in the back. I look at her and she whispers, “Don’t worry. That’s Bill. He’s just my brother. He’s driving us to my place.” She and I went back to business as her brother drove us off into the night. We were dropped off at her Burbank apartment where I had intercourse for the first time. She was four years older than me, just my type, and we were both suddenly in love. The next morning Bill appears at the door and makes himself at home. I soon discover that he’s not her brother at all but her husband and they’re in an open marriage. Seeing how Bill had no problem with me being in love with his wife, I felt no threat in the situation yet. This was the sixties’ sexual revolution in action and the whole experience not only felt right but very right. Very hip. Or so I thought. They invited me to quit school, leave my family, and come live with them. After a few days I phoned my mother and told her my life had changed, that I met the love of my life and wouldn’t be coming home. In a panic, she asked me if I was kidnapped. I said, “Kidnapped? No, this is my choice.” At that very moment Bill took the phone away and told my mother that I was alright, not to worry, and then hung up. In my reality I was having the time of my young life. In the shared realities of my mother and brother, Timo, I was kidnapped. Truth was, I was having the time of my life while I was being kidnapped. I learned that Bill was twenty-five, an avid runner, and an amateur boxer. He was also an ex-con who cut a plea bargain with the Burbank Police Department to snitch out drug dealers in exchange for time off for writing bad checks. I also discovered that he used his wife as bait to net me as his fuckboy. After successfully avoiding his advances, and with the help of his sympathetic wife, Bill dropped the issue and recruited me instead as an accomplice to his life in crime. I was taught how to break into houses and steal stuff for him without getting caught. This was all done under Bill’s verbal threat that if I ever got caught and snitched him out, he would find me and kill me. Between my

escalating sex hormones and the bloom of hot teen romance, all this seemed like a big adventure to me. As soon as I returned to school I was called out of class into the principal’s office. Waiting there for me were two uniformed police officers who gave me an ultimatum: either I testify against Bill in court or go to jail (juvenile hall). I didn’t know the details of how they found Bill, but to make a long story short, I testified against him in court and he was incarcerated. At this point I woke up to how masterfully manipulated I had been. The shattering of my young romantic ideals and the distortion of my sexual reality left me hurt, angry, and seeking escape from my nightmare world. RELIGION & SURVIVAL: TWO LSD STORIES Lutheranism is the default religion of most Finns and several months after my first LSD trip I decided to drop on my Confirmation day. Why? I insisted on a genuine religious experience, not just another Bible story about what God does or looks like. I was peaking as the Pastor read the catechism and saw God as an inner light emanating from all living things. I saw how religion got in the way of religious experience. I saw the bad joke of God as the Bearded Old Man Watching Over Everybody and Punishing Those Who Got Out of Line. I laughed anyway. I left my Confirmation ceremony having snuck a peek behind the stage curtain of organized religion where I saw the master puppeteer pulling strings to maintain the illusion of reality for a hypnotized audience. I felt shaken and elated by the thought of having discovered one of Life’s Big Secrets. Religion was a sham but spiritual experience rawked. Thanks to my good instincts for setting and context, I never had a “bad trip.” For the most part I only agreed to trip in nature with optimistic friends aligned with a spirit of adventure. The angst-ridden wannabe junkies typically avoided us acidheads. Besides, their drugs of choice were usually hash oils, quaaludes, booze, or whatever else could trigger their infighting rituals and nod fests. My LSD trips often occurred with friends venturing out beyond city limits, either to Vasquez Rocks in the Mojave Desert (where many of the first Star Trek TV episodes were shot) or the remote beaches of Ventura County. One night my best friend Keith and I decided to drive well beyond Vasqeuz Rocks for our next LSD trip. We head out around 10 pm. About an hour before our planned arrival, we decide to drop. Big mistake. We unexpectedly run out

of gas about ten miles from our destination while coming on to 200 micrograms of orange sunshine. We get out of the car and push it to the side of the road. We wander the surrounding desert of cactus, chaparral shrubs, and the occasional industrial warehouse. In this aimless wandering we suddenly hear a loud and long tone like an air raid siren. About a hundred yards away, we see two figures running towards us, laughing! We look at each other stunned, stoned, and a little paranoid. The laughing figures appear before us—two young and very drunk local guys bragging about breaking into a warehouse and getting away with their booty (probably petty cash). They tell us to run away, since the police would arrive soon, and then, they ran off into the night laughing their asses off. Meanwhile Keith and I look at each other a little more stunned, stoned, and a lot more paranoid. Those guys were right. Within maybe five minutes, nine or ten police cars approach the area and park in a large semi-circle, maybe 200 or 300 yards away, their headlights casting long shadows across the chaparral. I suddenly shift into survival mode and tell Keith we need to gather some tumble weeds, dig a ditch, get into the ditch and cover ourselves with the desert brush. We hear dogs barking and see policemen walking in the distance towards us, their flashlights bobbing in time with their swift gaits. The dogs! I tell Keith we need to rub dirt all over our bodies and clothes to cover our scent or the dogs would find us. Meanwhile, we are peaking on orange sunshine. While hallucinating our brains out, we bury ourselves in the ditch and wait for the police to either go away or find us. Our eyesight is at ground level and within minutes, we see the legs and feet of police searching for the perpetrators who tripped the warehouse alarm. We hear the dogs sniffing about for clues. After what seemed like an eternity of this, the police and their dogs go away. We remain in the ditch, covered with dust, our eyes aglow with gratitude. We are very free and very stoned. We fall asleep for a few hours. At sunrise I get out of the ditch and realize that my wallet was lost in the shuffle. We don’t have enough money to buy enough gas to get back to Los Angeles. We wander off the desert and into a suburban neighborhood where we go from door to door asking for help, i.e., begging. A family finally takes us in and the father leads us into their backyard. Here, he instructs us to scrub a huge pile of mud-covered red bricks until they are all clean in exchange for gas money back to L.A. We scrub the bricks clean and

then, we were served breakfast of pancakes. We finally make it back to Los Angeles. The experience for us was nothing short of a full blown initiation survival rite that, as a result of the LSD, imprinted us with a newfound survival confidence that continues in me today. Though the experience was harrowing to say the least, it left us both with a strong visceral sense that no matter what happens in life, we could get through it. We were survivors. THE THEATRE OF LIFE Big Sur, Berkeley, Los Angeles, Hollywood, Berkeley, CA, 1970–1974. Graduating from high school felt like being shot out of a Spanish Armada cannon. Ka-boom!! At seventeen I hitched up the coast to Big Sur where I spent the entire summer alone roaming the Ventana wilderness of meadowlands, forests, and shorelines, dropping acid, communing with nature, and dreaming about my future. At summer’s end it was time to return to civilization and start my new life in the real world. I caught a ride to Berkeley in a smoke-filled bus of other hippies who invited me to come live with them in their big, old Berkeley craftsman communal house. Between 1967 and 1973 a mass exodus of teenagers flooded the San Francisco Bay area and the police were ordered to check out any happy or lost looking teenager on the streets as a possible runaway. After an idyllic two months of rent-free, nonstop partying, the Berkeley Police arrested me for hitchhiking. I was booked as a runaway and spent the next seventy-two hours in a cell before I was flown back to Los Angeles. Two months shy of my eighteenth birthday and the real world was seriously harshing my buzz. Back in L.A., I dealt grass to raise enough money to return to Berkeley on my eighteenth birthday. In two short months I earned more than I expected, which got me to thinking about my future. Instead of heading up to Marijuana Heaven, I decided to become an actor. I auditioned and was accepted at the Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute in Hollywood. It was there that I met the incomparable William Traylor and Peggy Feury, two keenly perceptive acting teachers. Though they saw enough talent to encourage me to stick around, I chose to keep acting because it got me high. One day I found a note on the Theatre Institute community board offering a live-work situation for a gardener. I needed a place to call my own

and set out to meet Mr. and Mrs. Potter, the owners of a small mansion in the Hollywood hills, who introduced themselves to me as the former producers of the old fifties’ “Queen For a Day” TV game show. Though I had no real gardening experience beyond mowing the front lawn for my adolescent allowance, I saw this as a chance to test out my new acting chops. I got the job, moved into the tiny gardener’s studio, and continued my classes at the acting school while dealing grass on the side. Life was as good as it had ever gotten. While pulling weeds late one afternoon, I noticed Raymond Burr (the actor from the old TV series, “Perry Mason”) perched high on a balcony of the mansion next door. He was looking off into the sunset with sheer misery plastered across his face like a cracked mask. Two great danes flanked both sides of his tormented thousand-mile stare. Mrs. Potter appeared and walked over towards me, asking how I liked living there. I said, “It’s great, but why does Mr. Burr look so unhappy?” She sighed and told me he just received news that an island he recently purchased sank into the sea. Sank into the sea? Whoa. I looked up at him again and this time I saw a Grand Guignol gargoyle flanked by hell hounds sounding a message just for me: Get out of Hollywood while you still can! These weren’t exactly words I heard but my translation of a transmission from a source greater than Perry Mason that was using Raymond Burr to reach me. At least, that’s the way I chose to see it. I gave the Potters notice, packed my bags and headed up the coast to Berkeley. THE LIFE OF THEATRE Oakland, CA, autumn 1972. A maze of synchronistic events led me to the front porch of the Dudesheep Theatre Company. The DTC was a group of eight twenty-something actors and performers living communally in a three story, 23-room Victorian mansion deep in the hairy heart of downtown Oakland. This was a truly magical house with its own auditorium (with 25-foot ceilings!), two ballrooms, a winding staircase, secret passageways, and a tiny attic bedroom that I lusted after. I presented my case as an aspiring actor, they took a vote, and I was accepted as their ninth company member. The DTC was also a heady group of University of Irvine dropouts heavily inspired by Julian Beck’s Living Theatre and their own surreal collective dream they were living out every day. Within two weeks, I was cast as a Hungry Ghost in their upcoming theatrical treatment of a bardo ritual from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I had no idea what that was, what I was doing, or what it all meant. All I knew was that these

performances resulted in the most transformative experiences of my life so far. One month later I was performing with DTC on weekends at the Renaissance Faire and soon after that, accompanying them as pianist for their performances of John Gay’s “Beggar’s Opera” at the San Francisco Dickens Faire. Here, I met and fell in love with whimsical Bella, a Greek singer of Italian arias; she was eighteen and I was twenty. Bella’s sex-positive outlook encouraged me to begin healing the damage surrounding my first sexual imprint. My sexual healing happened one sunny afternoon at a remote Stinson beach cabin while we were both peaking on a large dose of blotter LSD. During our lovemaking, my body erupted in a series of physical contractions of powerful emotion. I went with it as Bella’s openhearted embrace guided me through all my old fears of being deceived and all the rage I felt at being betrayed. I shook, I screamed, I wept. There was no orgasm. We stopped making love when Bella cradled me in her arms and started singing. Through her soft pure voice, an unspeakably beautiful melody flowed and took flight, transporting me to a place I had never been before, a place beyond fear. And in this place we made love and our orgasms blossomed from a heart of pure rapture. The fears of deception were gone. Some rage remained but felt necessary, as if to say, you will never be betrayed again without knowing it. Back to my life in the theatre. Between constant performing and being in love with Bella, I was high almost all the time. Besides scripting, rehearsing, and performing together, the DTC also bonded around the occasional acid party. My social utopian imprints were humming with eternal delight. This idyllic life continued for three more months until the escalating bliss and brain pleasure began dispersing everybody’s focus. The theatre company soon unraveled, fragmented, and finally collapsed in on itself. Everyone, including myself, was too busy becoming legends in our own minds to notice that we were imploding. Our super-hero egos went super nova. Today’s star is tomorrow’s black hole. After I saw the vulgar decadence we had become, I left the company. For the next two years, Bella and I lived together and made an art out of poverty by turning our performance skills into the Hampshire Roundtree Story Theatre Troupe, a clown duet that performed at faires, conventions, and birthday parties. OUT OF BODY, OUT OF MIND

Berkeley, CA, 1975. Once an acidhead, always an acidhead. There was no way to forecast the long-term effects of all that acid until it caught up with me shortly after my 23rd birthday when I succumbed to a spontaneous, full-blown out-of-body experience. I was not on drugs; this was not a lucid dream, or some acid flashback. If only it were, I might have recovered. While fully conscious, an unbroken chain of internal psychic events rapidly unfolded resulting in my cognition of existing independently of my physical body. I still have no words for this astonishing event except to say it radically altered my outlook, destroyed my sense of body-based identity and shook the very foundations of my being. “I have a body but I am not my body” was no longer a metaphysical concept; it became my metaphysical reality. After the initial fears subsided, I did everything I could to replicate the experience a few days later but to no avail. I wanted to fly out of my body again and fly out further than before. I wanted to know what happened to me. However, this was not a shock I could conjure up with my will or perform by my efforts alone. Whatever happened to me was clearly dictated by a source far greater than my ego. A peculiar consequence developed from this out of body event—I began to see auras. I was now subject to an intermittent ability to see energy fields emanating from almost everyone I encountered. On the streets or inside my home, I saw friends and strangers alike as indistinct flashes of light, random bits and streams of weird personal information. Too much information, way too much information. My “third eye” was blasted open, out of control and overwhelming my daily existence. I did not feel this was a problem, as I was also feeling very high during this time. In fact, I was not feeling much of anything and had no idea I was courting schizophrenia. Around this time I developed this obnoxious behavior for mirroring the emotions of others. I also tried anchoring or grounding myself in the young women I was attracted to by feeling or feeding off their emotions. I didn’t know it was happening at the time. What was happening was I had lost touch with my true feelings and had become another amiable, twenty-something, emotionally parasitic acidhead on his merry way to his first psychotic break. Who knew? After reading Castaneda’s first four books, I thought I was an urban shaman surfing the Nagual on my way to becoming an urban shaman. To me, this state of overall weirdness was simply part of the shamanic path, which in

retrospect it may have been. Or maybe not. I was very lucky that someone cared enough to tell me point blank how unstable I was and how I really should learn to “manage my energy.” That caught my attention. Nobody ever called me unstable before. My friend suggested that I go see a professional clairvoyant by the name of Michael Symonds who was interviewing candidates for his next psychic training program. So, I went to see Michael and he told me that my sixth chakra was spinning out of control and that it was something he could help me with. I asked him if the others in his program were also out of control like me and he said, “No, you’re the only psycho in the group.” Then he laughed and said most of the others were psychos, too. We both laughed though I was left wondering what he really meant by that. Michael had a glint of the leprechaun in his eye. THE NEUROPHARMACY OF MY BRAIN Berkeley, CA, 1976–77. Around the same time I began Michael’s training program, I was invited by musician/painter David Rosenbloom to join a small group of individuals he was directing in paratheatrical processes inspired, in part, by the early work of Polish theatre director Jerzy Grotowski. Certain non-Grotowski principles, such as the “No-Form” of Zazen, and the exploration of energy polarities, were also introduced to help us access subtle energy currents in the body as movement resources. We learned how to detect and access sources of energy in the body towards giving them expression in physically active trance states. This new ritualistic work revived my relationship with my body. I began to experience and see my body in a whole new way as a kind of vessel that mixed and transformed its own alchemy of elements, conditions, and forces. This awareness inspired a new respect for body wisdom. Doing this physical ritual work also left me in an extended rapturous state but, unlike smoking pot, I didn’t feel spaced out, ungrounded or disconnected from my body afterwards. This work was clearly, deeply grounded in the body itself. These early experiments with David also marked the genesis of the paratheatre medium that would become my life’s work. (paratheatrical.com) Mr. Symonds taught our group a meditation technique resulting in a physically passive but psychically active trance state. This trance work stimulated the pineal gland, releasing just enough serotonin to increase the sensitivity to light

which, in turn, enabled more perception of the subtle currents of energy emanating from the energetic body of the chakras and the aura. With practice, we were trained to see our own auras and then, to see and read each other’s auras. More importantly for me, we also learned how to close the third eye; what a relief not to see auras, 24/7. Besides helping manage my psychic energy, this technique also got me very high in a very different way than the ritual work. I happily practiced this psychic trance meditation every day and as my psychic abilities improved, I turned my new talents into a career as a professional clairvoyant (from 1978 until 1986; more on this later). Just as Rosenbloom’s ritual experiments opened me up to new somatic pleasures, Symonds’ psychic trance meditations turned me onto even more novel brain pleasures. Both mentors discouraged any psychoactive drug use during their respective trainings and for very similar reasons. In their different ways, they explained how pot and psychedelics over stimulated and the natural sensitivity of the CNS, a sensitivity critical for detecting the more subtle energy centers and currents. It was a no-brainer; I stopped cold turkey. Why? The effects of these ritual and psychic technologies closely mimicked my psilocybin experiences but without all the pesky side effects like post-trip loss of concentration, apathy, and paranoia. The new dealer in town was my own brain and its complex neuropharmacy of natural and supernatural highs. It was time to change my life. I committed myself fully to restoring the natural sensitivity of my CNS and rebuilding my commitment to the body wisdom. PUNK’D IN CHAPEL PERILOUS Berkeley, Helsinki Finland, Carmel and Petaluma, California; 1977–1983. I was busy making an art out of poverty by teaching piano lessons to children, clowning at birthday parties, teaching theatre, doing aura readings and going on welfare for food stamps and Medi-cal. My chief sources for getting high were ritual, psychic work, romance, sex, and performing. The heady mix of these hedonic sources aroused new levels of imagination and inspiration. Over the next four years I would write, direct and produce four full-length experimental theatre works, all exploring mystical themes. The thrill of seeing my plays staged and touring up the northern California coast was a big thrill. I would have continued doing it had these intoxicants not been upstaged by the gorgeous chaos of Punk Rock. Berkeley, 1980 was a great year to start a band. I formed The Frozen Beauties with my dancer/singer girlfriend,

Sima the firecracker, and three other frozen beauties—Dick Doty on drums, Dean Webb (from Dudesheep days) on vocals, and a foxy lady bass player whose name I sadly cannot remember. Sima played synth, helped create the music and belted out the songs with Dean. I wrote the lyrics and played my blonde Rickenbacker until my fingers bled. We rode the punk/new wave with other local acts The Dead Kennedys, The Mutants, Crime, The Nuns, The Dils, The New Critics, and my favorite band, J. Poet and the Young Adults. After six months of gigging, The Frozen Beauties crashed and burned in a rubble of ego clash. In 1981 this prolific and creative era culminated in a return to Finland for a highly anticipated homecoming visit. On arriving at the Helsinki International Airport, I stood before the passport control clerks who asked me my name, age, and citizenship…three times. I found this odd but answered them three times: Antero Alli, 29 years, Finland. They then explained the law—all male Finnish citizens under the age of thirty must serve in the army. WTF? I was suddenly ushered down a corridor two floors below where I entered a holding cell, given a blanket, a pillow, and locked inside. WTF? Shock. Shock. Shock. The morning after my sleepless night I was driven by first class military escort to Helsinki Militia Headquarters where I was interrogated by two army officers and a medic. After speaking Finnish amongst themselves (which I understood but pretended not to) and after several hearty chuckles, the medic asked me to stand up. I stood up. He looked me up and down, told me to sit down and announced that I had passed the physical exam. WTF?! The two officers proceeded to explain to me, in no uncertain terms, that my life in California was over and that it was time to serve my country. Shock. Shock. Shock. Saturn takes about 29 years to orbit once around the Sun and I was officially in the dead heat of what astrologers call Saturn Return. I pleaded with the officers. “I haven’t been to Finland since I was three years old. Surely there must be some mistake!” They laughed and said it was my mistake to return to Finland before the age of thirty if I did not wish to serve in the army. They told me that my option to marching the icy tundra of the Finnish-Russian borders was prison time. Shock. I reluctantly signed up for active duty. They told me I had one week to get my affairs in order before leaving civilian life. The next sound I heard was the howling ghost winds of Chapel Perilous. I looked around. Where was I? There, above the altar, crucified, hung out to dry. Punk’d in Chapel Perilous.

As I drifted amongst the gravestones of the medieval Finnish cemetery in Mynamakki, it felt as if my entire consciousness had been jolted up and out of my body into a vortex several feet above my head. Here, this entity called “I” furiously radiated white heat, white light as the rest of me continued drifting throughout the tombstones. The feeling down below, inside my physical body, was a confusion of indescribable elation and panic. After finally finding my grandmother’s house, I told her all about my military catastrophe. She listened very carefully and then called her friend, an unnamed Finnish professor of political science, for advice. He soon arrived, and after some serious thought, introduced (under solemn vow of anonymity and secrecy), my escape plan. I made it back to Berkeley, but not in one piece. My personality felt like a thousand shards of broken glass. I remember thinking—this is probably what used to be called a “nervous breakdown.” Unable to cope with urban life, I accepted the kind invitation from my psychic friend Geri (who introduced me to Robert Anton Wilson; see “The Cosmic Trigger Effect”), to convalesce and recover at her home in the serene seaside town of Monterey, California. Though the outside shock of my exile awakened me spiritually, socially I was a broken person. Over the previous two years, I had written down scores of notes on Leary’s 8-Circuit Brain model and now I realized it was time to put them to task. Seeing as I was already out of body in circuit eight hell, I felt compelled to start developing and testing a series of meditations, rituals and exercises to find my way back in. My aim was to engage the other seven functions of intelligence, roughly corresponding to the seven chakras, as a means to re-enter The Body. I had no thought to publish these notes or the results of my research into any book. I just wanted to use the circuit system as a map to reclaim and rebuild myself. I began taking dance classes and doing more ritual work to restore my physical self-confidence. All my efforts at self-reclamation, however, were in vain since I was also hopelessly in love with an enchanting younger Piscean woman whose native charms aroused a nonstop catastrophic romance and a downward dog spiral into Chapel Perilous. Kendall, my love, my nemesis… “Chapel Perilous, like the mysterious entity called ‘I’, cannot be located in the time-space continuum: it is weightless, odorless,

tasteless, and undetectable by ordinary instruments. Indeed like the Ego, once you’re inside it there doesn’t seem to be any way to ever get out, again, until you suddenly discover that it has been brought into existence by thought and does not exist outside of thought.” — Robert Anton Wilson, Cosmic Trigger One thing I learned from Bob was how a certain kind of writing could, with enough imagination and will, act just like magick. With this in mind I decided to write myself out of Chapel Perilous by scripting a two-act stage play about a nonstop catastrophic romance between a Man, a Woman, the Anima of the Man, and the Animus of the Woman. After writing the play in Carmel, I traveled north to the quiet farming town of Petaluma where a cluster of theatre friends let me couch surf for a few months. I ended up casting three of them in the play and cast myself as “Anton” the Animus (in homage to Bob). In January of 1983, “Chapel Perilous: Dreaming Phases for Lovers” premiered at Petaluma’s Cinnabar Theatre and Studio Eremos in San Francisco. Chapel Perilous” was ritual magick disguised as theatre. Judging by audience response, it was also good theatre. The invisible soul-retrieval ritual worked well enough and I walked scot-free out of the dark wood, at least for the time being… MARRIAGE, FURNITURE & THE FACE ON MARS Boulder, CO, 1984–1988. Breaking up with Kendall also meant breaking up with Berkeley. I needed a change of scenery, somewhere beautiful where nobody knew my name. The rocky mountain region of Boulder, Colorado took my breath away; literally. The rarified air of the mile-high altitude made me naturally high. It even altered my digestive tract so I could no longer stomach red meat or junk food. I began teaching my ritual and psychic work as a way of fitting into the New Age mecca of Boulder. I never really fit in but I tried. After attending a lecture on Buddhism at Naropa Institute I was struck by a radiantly beautiful young woman gracing her way through the crowd. Transfixed, a voice in my head—a voice I had never heard before—said: “That woman could be your wife.” What?! Up until then, I was dead set against marriage, babies, furniture, and death by domestication. I dismissed this voice while my body involuntarily followed her. Who was this woman and why was I following her?

Three months later Christi and I were married, and eighteen months after that, Kallista was born. That strange yet familiar voice in my head was none other than the genetic entity of DNA whose biological authority trumped all previously held senses, beliefs, ideas, assumptions, pleasures, and reality tunnels that defined who I was. The awesome genetic rush of looking into the eyes of my firstborn completely upstaged all my previous highs. My head was not only in the clouds; my entire body was consumed by a cumulus of fate. As if in a dream, I was now married with a baby and buying furniture for our new home. All the beloved habits of the Single Male Artist bucked and swayed as I struggled to reinvent myself as Husband, Father, Family Man. I was in shock. According to the context of my previous life and self-image, Antero Alli was now either deceased, clinically insane, or both. In response to my shocking new life I began writing obsessively, day and night. Into the wee hours I organized, typed, and edited all my Eight-Circuit Brain notes towards my decision to self-publish my first book. I was on a mission from God. Around this time I discovered that visionary author, José Arguelles, also lived in Boulder. As a big fan of his earlier books, Mandala and Transformative Vision, I ventured out to meet him and he was kind enough to receive me in his home. This was 1986, the year before his Harmonic Convergence fame and sudden death of his teenage son. I mention this as those massive shocks catapulted José into very different trajectories than the unassuming man I met that day. What started out as casual small talk subtly and unexpectedly spun into Arguelles’ transmission of his Gaia vision and the infamous NASA Viking 1 photo of the “Face on Mars.” Listening to José share his story, my bewildered intellect could not tell if he had gone mad or gone genius until a light went on in my head and I saw him going both ways—going human. The nonchalant, matter of fact way he conveyed his vision of the Earth as this vastly intelligent entity that reincarnated as a planet held me spellbound in wonder and awe. Was I simply naive or just hungry for new truth? The more he spoke, the more I experienced his words as triggers for the very presence and power of the Earth moving through me, through him, through everything else around us. The more I listened, the more I realized how this presence of the planetary entity pervaded and unified everything I knew as my life. All sense of separate ego dissolved. I sat there frozen with astonishment and the unsettling, yet totally reassuring sense of being an expression—no, a protuberance, a bump—of the Earth itself.

And then, José pulls out the NASA photo and asks me to meditate on the face. As my attention rested on this grainy image, José’s words narrated a story of how the red planet was once blue like our own and, also like our own, whose civilization had reached full nuclear capacity. OMFG. Mars earned its mythic status as the God of War through widespread nuclear catastrophe that rendered the once blue planet, red and barren. Before all life was annihilated, a renegade colony of engineers and artists constructed a colossal face to warn future civilizations that had reached the technological advancement to see it in their telescopes. And then, José delivered the coup de grace. This colony migrated off Mars, landed on nearby Earth and started breeding. A cosmic déjà vu. We are the Martians looking back at ourselves as we approach a similar era of crisis in our planetary history. As expected, this Face on Mars story was met with all manner of government dismissals yet I could not deny the goose bumps racing across my body. As I left José’s place, I could no longer view or feel myself separate from the Earth. Over the next several months a widening chasm between my beautiful young wife and I brought new strife into our home. The recent birth of our child flooded her nursing body with lactose hormones, compelling new obsessions for more security, more territory; more was never enough. She was rapidly molting into a different woman than the one I fell in love with and married, and it was not her fault; it was DNA. If I knew then what I know now, I would have handled the whole domestication scene with more wisdom and treated her better. But wisdom was not in the cards. I was a hotheaded, hotshot wannabe author with his first book in the works and in demand as the hot new psychic in town. As the only breadwinner in our little household, my workload doubled along with my stress and I found myself doing far too many psychic readings for my own good. I slacked off with my ritual work, resulting in a chemical imbalance set off by too much passive trance work; too much serotonin on the brain. Without my pleasure-inducing dopamine and endorphin rituals, I sputtered out of control like a live wire without a ground. Growing increasingly irate and agitated, I lashed out where no lashing out was called for—a monstrous version of myself was born. Since I knew that I was chemically imbalanced, I also knew what I had to do: pump up my dopamine and endorphin levels by immersing myself in as much ecstatic experience as possible.

Since this marriage unexpectedly killed my sex life, I knew what I had to do. I told Christi that I did not like the person I was becoming and to avoid further damage to us all, I would leave her and Kallista after two more years. I thought this would give her enough time to get her life and body back together. Though I was clear and resolute with her, she did not believe me and failed to instigate a plan for her future. It was the start of what would become an extremely difficult separation for her and eventually, the most difficult decision of my life to date: leaving my firstborn behind. A PLANETARY MÉNAGE À TROIS I quit my lucrative psychic practice cold turkey (1986) and over the next two years, fell into an unbroken chain of sexual liaisons and one-night stands with over twenty women until I met Camille. The most sensual, leonine woman I ever met was also a wildly talented Julliard dance graduate, thirteen years younger than me and mesmerized by my ritual work. We first made eye contact on the night of February 12, 1988 after she saw a paratheatrical performance I directed. And that was it. The energy passing between us was impossible to contain or describe. It wasn’t just sexual magnetism or falling in love or another DNA baby-maker vibe. Neither of us knew what to make of it but neither of us could deny it. Camille was also engaged to someone at the time. The drama starts here. We met again to do the ritual work, which escalated these energies as I hoped it would. As the larger forces danced between us, I began feeling anxious about not knowing how to define this new relationship. I did not feel in control. Whenever I tried to impose an image or idea over the experience, it would disintegrate and explode. Stranger still, it felt like our meeting was somehow arranged, as if by some majestic presence using us for its own agendas. That’s the closest I came to describing it. I just couldn’t tell whether this was a good thing or a bad thing yet. This was much bigger than both of us and bigger than anything my mind could wrap around. The only other time I remembered feeling this majestic presence was at José’s place, hearing him talk about the planetary entity. Was the planet orchestrating our romance? If the planetary entity brought us together, what did it want from us? The experience itself was not frightening in any ordinary sense. It was more like the terror of reaching a threshold for how much beauty, joy, and divine intervention one could stand before annihilation by Angels.

“Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels’ hierarchies? And even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart, I would be consumed in that overwhelming existence. For beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to endure, and we are so awestruck because it serenely disdains to annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying.” — Rainer Maria Rilke As we continued our ritual experiments, we spontaneously began to source the Earth until the planet became our entire energetic focus. This led to a distinct physical pattern, a ritual action, erupting between us, revealing a kind of reciprocal feeding process going on between the Earth and us. Instead of gorging on these big energies, like the punch-drunk lovers we had also become, we simply redirecting them back into the Earth. As I recall, Camille absorbed the energy through her feet and lower body and directed these forces into my heart chakra. I then directed this energy back down to the earth’s core, which in turn circled back up to Camille in a continual cycling of earth energy. We were oddly at home in this eternal moment, as if we had done this ritual before. In the months following this experience, I wrote it into the story of my next book, The Akashic Record Player: A NonStop Geomantic Conspiracy and, in the following year, this same ritual formed the basis of ANIMAMUNDI, an orphic performance duet Camille and I created after we left Boulder and settled in Seattle (from August 1988 to April 2004; more on Seattle later). THE ACCIDENTAL PSYCHOPATH Boulder, CO and Sedona, AZ, 1986–1988. Rewind and backtrack two years. Two of the three highest moments of my life without drugs are the birth of my first daughter and the publication of my first book. These experiences seriously expanded my consciousness far beyond the bounds of ego and body, bridging me to deeper ancestral currents and the collective culture of the world at large (my highest experience so far was the earth surrender rite detailed in the previous paragraph). After the first “black cover” limited edition of Angel Tech sold out, I mailed a copy to Timothy Leary who unexpectedly mailed back a written endorsement

for my book, which was now also graced with a Preface by Robert Anton Wilson. I was beyond ecstatic. After the second “white cover” edition of Angel Tech sold out, Alan Miller’s (aka Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D.) Falcon Press took notice and picked it up in 1986 where it has remained in print for the last twenty-three years. I signed a three-book deal with Falcon that would include my next book (on ritual), All Rites Reversed, and The Akashic Record Player, a strange little novel featuring Dr. Hyatt and myself as principle characters. The synchronistic convergence of so many uplifting and meaningful directions over such a brief period of time overwhelmed what little conscience I had to start with. I was on top of the world and like Icarus, flying dangerously close to the Sun. How else could I have seduced so many women while married and then, turn around to abandon my wife and child by cutting out of town with a feral dancer without a shred of remorse? Like a moth fluttering into a flame, my trajectory met its fate in Dr. Christopher S. Hyatt (aka Alan R. Miller) when the Accidental Psychopath came face to face with the Psychopath with a Mission. Dr. Hyatt and I re-typeset Angel Tech every day for two weeks in his Sedona, Arizona home, which doubled as Falcon Press headquarters. Since typesetting is very tedious work, every day presented new opportunities for “Doc” to provoke and enlighten his new author. I had not read his book, Undoing Yourself with Energized Meditation and Other Devices and had no preconceptions of his approach or his ideas; to me, he was just my publisher. After a few days, his formidable presence changed all that. On a day-to-day basis, he took it upon himself to annihilate all my cherished pretenses and self-images. If he was just my publisher, why all the psychoanalysis? What was he trying to prove? He was seeing through me and telling me what he saw. I was appalled, delighted, outraged, and in shock. Doc told me I was still a boy, not a man; a mamma’s boy. I protested. He said my marriage was a sham, a need structure, not a relationship and that my many affairs proved it. I got defensive. He said I valued my life too much since it had become utterly meaningless. I denied it. He said that everything I assumed to be ‘me’ was a lie and that I was living a lie. This difficult encounter initiated an even more important encounter with myself. Once I had been “seen through and undone,” there was nothing more he could say or do. It was now up to me to start recalibrating my values and living more honestly. Though I hated his

tactics, their humiliations humbled me into an era of real self-work. As we got to know each other more, he suggested that we adopt a surrogate father/son dynamic to work through specific ‘family complexes.’ He was without a son (he abandoned his only biological son twenty years earlier) and I had not been raised by a father. This private pact confirmed the start of a mutual trust and respect between us. We also agreed that this would be a temporary social experiment. Doc’s fondness for conducting experiments was a carry-over from his earlier days as a clinical research psychologist working with monkey brains, a field he left to pursue his occult studies. To say he “loved and dreaded me as a son” and that I “loved and feared him as a father” would not be incorrect. I often felt mixed emotions in his presence. Our psychological transference finally came to a head, at least for me it did, when I began seeing myself in him and seeing him in myself. The naive, accidental psychopath I had unwittingly become resulted from a complete lack of early paternal moral structure and enforcement. Since the two loving, lenient women who raised me gave me free reign to do whatever, I never adhered to any morality since I had none and had no reason for one yet. This maternally sanctioned permissiveness also encouraged certain delusions of entitlement as one of Dr. Spock’s “cherished children,” raised in the fifties and rebelling in the sixties. Hyatt exposed these entitlement delusions as one link in a chain of lies that had become my life as I knew it. I was getting used to the idea of seeing through myself. Doc was always experimenting on himself and on others. As a promising new and youngish author in his stable, I also felt that he was priming me for his psychopathic cause. I came to know Doc’s inner self by the fantasies he confided in me of his ideal future life as a despot of a small army of followers sustaining their own culture on a tropical island. It was very easy for me to see him inhabiting this role, though it would take him another ten years to come out of the closet as a self-aware psychopath; his opus, The Psychopath’s Bible, was first published in 1999. After three years our relationship had reached an impasse of great pressure. A life-defining decision presented itself to me—either yield to Doc’s powerful shaping influence towards becoming a more conscious psychopath or, start defining my own code of ethics towards developing a real conscience. A genuine neo-Faustian dilemma, my proverbial panties were in a bunch.

Hyatt’s influence could guide me on a path of power as a magickian whose destiny could be shaped according to his own will. Following my own conscience would place me on a path of the heart as someone whose world was subject to serving what I loved the most. The love of power vs. the power of love. I was eventually redeemed by the invisible artistic muses, who always by my side and, who recoiled at the very idea of being shaped by anyone else,. I decided to leave Falcon. After completing my three-book quota, I told Dr. Hyatt in 1990 that I was moving on. This pissed him off and we had a falling out that continued to his untimely death in early 2008 (also see “The Magus & the Mystic”). POETRY, DEATH, & REBIRTH Seattle, Port Townsend, Seattle, WA, 1988 to 1995. 1988 was a good time to be in Seattle. An electric current of emerging subcultures filled the air. Nirvana was afoot. The art muses told me it was time to publish a newspaper as an outlet for the voices of this vibrant underground community of poets, musicians, performers and media makers, many of whom convened at the Weathered Wall, a large cavernous salon bar and performance venue. I told David Meinert, its young adventurous manager, about our literary project and he opened up the space to us. Talking Raven Quarterly was born in 1991 with a print run of 5,000–10,000 every solstice and equinox, and distributed absolutely free on the streets. Each quarterly issue revolved around a different theme serving the meta-theme of Insurrection of Poetic Imagination. For the next four years we ran quarterly benefit performance nights featuring local talent that miraculously covered our printing costs. A relatively ad-free TRQ featured the radical collage art of James Koehnline (who would later create the covers for four of my books), articles by Robert Anton Wilson, Rob Brezsny, Michael Ventura, and excerpts from Hakim Bey’s Temporary Autonomous Zone before its book publication. We celebrated the coup by hosting Hakim Bey himself at one of our Weathered Wall benefits. One day, while walking in Seattle’s University District, I suddenly lost muscle control over the entire right side of my body and fell swiftly to the pavement. Face down on the ground; I could not understand what was happening to me except I was in shock. Slowly I regained enough control over my body to stand up and walk to my car, where it dawned on me that I might have survived a

stroke. I had enough cognitive coherency to drive home and did not notice any further changes until I began talking or rather, trying to talk between stops and stutters. My thinking was all jumbled up. I had to invest more effort than usual just to find the words to say what I meant. My communication processes refused to be flippant, casual, or clever. I had only enough will to say what I meant. This mysterious condition forced me into a new relationship with thinking and language. The soles of my feet also felt like they were on fire, as if walking barefoot on hot coals. I met with a neurologist who prescribed an M.R.I. test that, given my absence of insurance, would have completely broken my bank. I decided, instead, to visit a chiropractic who x-rayed my neck and found the source of my problem. The occipital lobe and atlas were cemented together, seriously crimping the flow of signals between my brain and the rest of my body. I didn’t have a stroke. I had a fortunate rearrangement of my thinking, talking, and writing processes that was also treatable with chiropractic adjustments. This traumatic event led me to Rainer Maria Rilke whose poetry I pursued as a linguistic mentor to impress my newly destabilized mind. I apprenticed myself to his epic lament, “Requiem For a Friend” (the Stephen Mitchell translation), with a feeling of hope that something of his tone, rhythms, and arrangement of words might impress me somehow. I decided to direct my friends Jadina Lilian, Cyndia Pickering, and the now pregnant Camille, in a performance ritual using Rilke’s “Requiem” as a disembodied floating narrative that I would speak, sight unseen, behind the audience. Two months after our sold-out Rilke performances, Zoe was born into an entirely different domestic environment than my firstborn. No marriage, no furniture purchases, no death by domestication. Ours was not a cloistered family but an open house to performance rehearsals, art salons, and gatherings of kindred souls. The group ritual work was also in full swing. Our first paratheatre video document, Archaic Community was produced and a video document was made of the performance of “Requiem For a Friend.” Twenty months after Zoe’s birth she accidentally asphyxiated on a single peanut, went comatose, and one week later died. The worst thing that could ever happen to us just happened to us. We were in

the hospital when Zoe passed. Camille carried Zoe’s tiny body up to the rooftop where, with the help of her Buddhist friend Terry, we quietly performed a Tibetan ceremony for safe passage through the bardos. Impermanence is one of the great Buddhist teachings and one that remains with me to this day. One week prior to Zoe’s death we began working on Mass of the Iconoclasts, a death/rebirth ritual involving fifteen ritualists and a sevenperson chorus that we planned to perform over two winter solstice nights at the Masonic Temple and the Weathered Wall. The unfathomable devastation Camille and I underwent seriously undermined our confidence to continue this project. We soon realized that we needed this ritual to contain the lament, for ourselves and for Zoe. In the face of death and loss, our decision to perform Mass of the Iconoclasts also reminded us what brought us together in the first place, a ritual for containing forces greater than ourselves. VIDEO; FROM VIDERE, LATIN FOR “TO SEE” Seattle, WA, 1993. Great losses sometimes come with gifts. The annihilating loss of Zoe gifted me with big picture vision. The eyes of my eyes opened. I saw “death” as an illusion, an intellectual symbol for fear, social control and oppression. I saw through the lies of a death-ignorant society that hides its dying in hospitals, prisons and retirement homes. I glimpsed the eternal cycles of Life, how people come and go but Life continues. I saw that children don’t always outlive their parents. I saw how we are all expressions of Love. I saw Love trump Death. This accelerating perception differed from my earlier psychic experiences; no spontaneous aura sightings to report. But these visions lacked context. Beyond the initial phenomena of seeing through everything, I didn’t know what to do with this new experience of loss, the big picture vision and all the images now flooding my conscious mind. This was the year consumer video technology became financially accessible to almost anybody. With the help of a small A/V mixer, I compulsively started creating a series of short videos venting my lament. I felt that if I stopped creating videos, the constant influx of visions would have smothered me; it was time to create or die. This artistic resurgence turned into my next hedonic upgrade the moment I first saw my video work projected onto the big silver screen, a breathtaking sight that took my attention away from my worries, my sorrows, and myself. It felt like maybe things were on the upswing, again. I was

inspired to continue creating more videos, which led to the curation of works from others in what would become the Nomad VideoFilm Festival (1992– 2002), a popular west coast touring venue of experimental shorts. CHASING THE DRAGON BACK INTO THE ABYSS On July 27, 1993 Arizona was born and nine months later, we left Seattle for the small seaside village of Port Townsend on the tip of the Olympic peninsula. After moving into our quaint little house, I discovered Papaver somniferum growing wild in our new backyard. Thanks to the local P.T. high school dopers and Jim Hogshire’s book, Opium for the Masses, I learned the ancient art of milking the poppy (vertical, not horizontal, cuts bleed the pod) and chasing the dragon (quickly inhaling the invisible vapors released by the bubbling poppy sap). My new life in Port Townsend began in a haze of opium addiction and the education of “kicking.” The opiate molecule tricks the brain into thinking it doesn’t need to produce endorphins as long as the opium is there to replace them. When the opium disappears, the endorphins can take anywhere from 48 to 96 hours—depending on depth of addiction and the individual—to kick in and restore normalcy and peace of mind. During this kicking period, I was jonesing in a quasi-flu-like state of delirium with a sick lion’s roar in my ears. Without the brain’s natural output of endorphins, life was hell. I was caught off guard by how subtly opium snuck up on me and pulled me down to the ground. Respect. The experience of kicking left me with new respect for the poppy, for the power of plants in general and for the brain’s awesome capacities to supply its users with natural euphorics for enduring the howling winds of the abysmal abyss (not to be confused with No-Form). Kicking my opium addiction inspired the writing and production of The Drivetime (1995; 88 min.), a cyber-fi feature film collaboration with my famous friend Rob Brezsny, the Free Will Astrology columnist. The “drivetime” was a code word we used to address a nonlocal corridor of moving images interfacing daytime and dreamtime realities, with auxiliary links to virtual reality and cyberspace. Hakim Bey’s treatise of poetic terrorism seeded the subtext of the movie. Rob and I wrote The Drivetime to incite a series of tiny riots in the poetic imagination mixed into a sonically-charged, visual cocktail. After a successful Seattle premiere in the Fall of 1995, The Drivetime went onto screen in Portland, San Francisco and Los Angeles while

garnering critical praises in Wired magazine, Fringeware Review and other publications. After seven drama-rich years, Camille and I parted ways. The losses and the horror of losing Zoe had proved too much for both of us to bear. She had found a more suitable mate for herself and a stepfather for Arizona. I was devastated. I did not feel ready to break up with Camille. I had actively made plans to commit more fully to our relationship and to raise our family. Though I could not blame her entirely for dumping me, I felt dishonored. Not wanting to shoulder the daily humiliation of being replaced as father and as mate, I immediately returned to my familiar Seattle haunts. In a rented basement apartment my identity as Father-Parent-Family Man performed its last rites of heartbreak, grief, dishonor, rage, panic, anxiety, guilt, resentment, remorse, indignation, and finally relief. After hitting absolute rock bottom, I slowly found the resolve to start reinventing myself and for me this meant reinventing the Romantic. MY NEW LOVER, THE MUSE Rewind and backtrack. Six years earlier, a year after Camille and I arrived in Seattle, we met Cyndia, a talented composer whose music enlivened our performance rituals and my later videos. On first sight, I was fascinated with Cyndia’s intense yet quiet beauty but since we were both with mates (both exactly thirteen years younger than us!), I kept my relationship with Cyndia limited to our shared artistic projects. That is, until the summer of 1995, when I returned to Seattle and pursued her. Cyndia was my age, had no interest in bearing children and was fully committed to her Art. She represented to me a future life with someone fully aligned with my innermost values. Regretfully, I was not her “type” and it was very difficult to convince her otherwise. Through persistence, sensitivity and cunning, I eventually earned my place in her heart as Friend, Lover, Artistic Collaborator, as she did in mine. She also earned a bonus niche as my Muse, an exalted status that turned out to be an impossible expectation for any woman to consistently satisfy. Anima, Anima, where art thou, Anima? Berkeley, CA, 1996–2009. We migrated south to Berkeley and established ourselves as a business entity, an intermedia arts company called Vertical Pool. I also got the paratheatre group work going again. However, the woman as Muse thing was not working out for us. After several years of cat and dog

fights, I slowly came to my senses and withdrew all the Anima projections. Our mutual animosity subsided as I vowed to continue relating with the powerful autonomous archetype of the Anima—not “my” Anima (she belongs to no one!) but the Anima. This important psychological event initiated a prolific nine-year era of filmmaking (1999–2008) that produced eight featurelength works, all of them graced by Sylvi’s enchanting music (she had since changed her name). As long as I continued relating with the Anima, I didn’t have to become that nemesis of beautiful, erotic, and intelligent women everywhere: the anima-possessed, bitchy man of ten-thousand moods. On the eve of the publication of “The Vertical Oracle”, our neo-tarot deck and card set, Sylvi and I celebrated with a big sushi dinner that, unbeknownst to us, carried tiny malignant parasites that made a home in my intestines. I thought I was dying. After four lethargic months of trying everything to rid myself of the bad sushi bugs, my Maui friends Aleister and Sufi called out of the blue and invited me to their rain forest permaculture farm for an Ayahuasca ceremony. I told them I was too sick with parasites to attend and Aleister gleefully replied, “Huasca is a powerful anti-parasitic brew. It’s been used in the Amazon River basin for ages as an anti-parasitic. Come on over. You won’t regret it.” Since I quit using psychedelics I asked about its vision-inducing properties. “I thought you wanted to rid yourself of parasites!” Aleister laughed. Good point. The following week I arrived at their paradise farm and started my fast on the papayas and bananas growing next to my tent. The medicine quest had begun. THE REDEEMING ENTITY OF AYAHUASCA A few days later a small group gathered and headed out to cut a truckload of the DMT-rich yage vine that grew wild in the jungle and, the leafy bush, Psychotria viridis that catalyzed the release of the DMT from the vine into the human system. We were instructed in the complex preparation rites of the huasca brew by someone taught by a Peruvian shaman. Besides blowing tobacco smoke over every machete cut of vine, we pounded the vines afterwards into a pulp, boiled them in water for hours while adding hundreds of Psychotria viridis leaves into the bubbling cauldron. I naively bent over to smell the brew and the vapors instantly knocked me down on my ass. Respect. As night fell, the group gathered under a branch and leaf shelter constructed especially for this ritual. There was only one rule issued for the night’s ceremony: do not snore. We were told the huasca brew would first act on us as

a tonic that would put us to sleep and then, its visions would wake us up, dreaming. The brew could also greatly amplify our sense of hearing. We were told that the sounds of snoring might be misconstrued by any one of us as a jaguar and cause great upset. This vigilance to snoring also forced me to stay conscious until the very last moment before nodding out, infusing a kind of self-remembering into play as the visions emerged and woke me up dreaming, eyes wide open. Vine-like intertwining patterns formed a backdrop to everything. Through the cracks in the vines, numerous sets of luminous alien eyes peered in at me, as if to say, “what do we have here?” Behind this entwining quilted backdrop, I heard the muffled sounds of distant voices when a vision appeared—an 18th century schooner slowly sinking into a tempestuous sea. Near starboard, a life raft bobbed up and down in the waves as two tiny figures gesticulated and argued with each other. My huasca night vision zoomed in. There on the raft two ghostly figures appeared as the artist William Blake and the scientist Sir Isaac Newton. There they were, shipwrecked and enflamed in an eternal debate, the genius of Imagination and the genius Reason (this vision haunted me for several years until it finally found a home in the performance of my 1999 two-act play, The Hungry Ghosts of Albion). While I was busy having visions, the redeeming entity of Ayahuasca destroyed, assimilated and eliminated my parasites. I was sent back into the realm of the living with a new way of seeing. THE WELLSPRING OF VERTICAL POOL My second life in Berkeley (1996–present) has become the most stable, productive, and artistically prolific era to date. The paratheatre work has produced two to three ritual labs (lasting two to three months each) every year for ten years straight and counting. These facts confirm the theory that once the four survival-oriented circuits can be integrated, they can act as stabilizing anchors to manifest the heightened creativity and expanded consciousness of the four post-survival circuits. This was no longer a metaphysical idea but my metaphysical reality. As I approach the ripening age of sixty I feel at peace with myself, and hopeful by the consequences of my choices and my continuing commitment to respond to whatever life inevitably brings. In retrospect, I see how this very

ability to respond has defined my true responsibility. I am also aware that some grey-faced moralists may perceive my so-called “true responsibilities” and my life of “hedonic upgrades, shocks and imprints” as totally irresponsible, selfindulgent, solipsistic debauchery. And I say to them—by thine fruits shall ye be known, not by the fecund and wormy earth that sprouteth them. In the end I blame my shameless audacity on what my dear grandmother used to call “sisu”. Sisu: a Finnish term translated into English as strength of will, determination, perseverance, and acting rationally in the face of adversity. It has been described as being integral to understanding Finnish culture. The meaning is equivalent in English to “having guts,” and the word derives from sisus, which means something inner or interior. Sisu has a long-term element in it; it is not momentary courage, but the ability to sustain it.

Antero and Timo Alli, circa 1967, Los Angeles, CA

“The Eight-Circuit Brain Interview” by Mike Gathers

Ten years ago I discovered Robert Anton Wilson and the 8-Circuit Brain model, and began devouring whatever I could find online and in used book stores. Early in that journey, a copy of Angel Tech found its way into my possession. I never got very far into the book; I was not ready for what it offered, or rather what it demanded. Several years later I came to know Antero through his posts on the 8-Circuit Brain discussion group at tribe.net, where his authoritarian posting style often rubbed me the wrong way. Years of reading Wilson and participating in Wilsoninspired Internet discussions had reinforced my natural anti-authoritarian tendencies. Just who did this Alli guy think he was? Yet behind his delivery I found wisdom, forthrightness, and a spirit of inquiry that demanded my attention. Eventually I understood that Antero’s tone did not emerge from an overdeveloped sense of false security, but rather from someone who has courageously explored the mystery and lived to tell about it. Antero writes from the authority of direct experience and the sanity of someone who has integrated frontier explorations with a solid grounding in self. This interview originally took place in two parts. During the in-between period, I spent 48 hours with Antero when he invited a few of his virtual acquaintances

to stay with him in Berkeley for the cast and crew screening of his latest film, The Invisible Forest. Despite having never met before, I immediately felt at ease in his warm, open presence. He had an unexpectedly nerdy, playful quality about him, which I found delightful and endearing. I felt intimidated only once when he asked if we had any interest in a game of chess. Having played a handful of times since childhood, I declined the offer. In between paratheatre labs and with his film all but wrapped up, we enjoyed a largely quiet time spent with good coffee, good conversation, and casual walks about the Berkeley underground. After my brief time there, I left with a lasting impression of a man who lives life one hundred percent on his own terms. Although the opportunity never presented itself, he had a gleam in his eye and a cackle in his laugh that told me we could get into a lot of mischief together. And next time, I will take him up on that game of chess. — Mike Gathers MG: The process of making the unconscious conscious seems like a common theme among various traditions of self work. How does mindful awareness tie into the 8-Circuit Brain model?? AA: The complex conditioning received from infant imprints, our culture at large, early childhood and parental influences, peer pressure, teachers in our public education systems, and the mass media all serve to shape the definitions of the individual experience of Physical, Emotional, Conceptual and Social survival and intelligence. From my view, these bottom four circuits represent patterns of behavior, habit and response that remain for the greater part in most of us, unconscious. Though it is commonly assumed that we operate consciously and awake in all these four “survival” levels, contradictions to that assumption arise and persist in the face of any serious, ongoing self-observation. The 8-Circuit Brain model can be used in the process of “making the unconscious conscious” once the assumption that we are “awake and conscious” is relaxed and replaced with a spirit of inquiry into the very nature of consciousness itself and more specifically, the distinction between what is mechanical and what is alive; what is preconceived and what is spontaneous, what is habitual and what is truly natural. MG: Does a mindfulness practice such as sitting meditation create space

for insights into the upper circuits? AA: Mindfulness, presence of mind, accelerated perception…all these phrases relate to my experience with the 8-Circuit Brain model as fifth and sixth circuit consciousness events. Fifth circuit somatic intelligence ignites when mind and body start yoking, coming into union, as in yoga; bringing mind to body. The body expresses that aspect of ourselves always in present time, whereas the mind often wanders into imaginary and projected realms of past and future. When they come together as a conscious act, the mind begins a transformation and the body develops more confidence to keep living. The body also expresses that aspect of ourselves that always knows it’s going to die. When the conceptual mind (circuit three) is humbled into service to life itself, that is to say, to attune its attention to the body as teacher, as guru, as source of life and guidance, then we have the start of a kind of somatic enlightenment process. Body wisdom becomes exalted over intellectual cleverness. How circuit three intellect is humbled differs for each of us but usually it involves some kind of direct experience of unity, of the shocking objective reality of unity, the interconnectedness of all life. Before such a shock, the intellect typically functions exclusively (and often dogmatically) in dualistic modes of comparison and deduction. The direct experience of unity, the shock of unity, blows the mind. And the mind is forced to reassess its purpose and place in relation to all things. Or, flip out on some ego-tripping bender of insanity. Eventually this yoking, or body/mind yoga, naturally blossoms into sixth circuit “second attention.” When body and mind work together, perception of reality is released. This perception expresses an awareness not linked to thinking or the assignment of meaning, as with circuit three “first” attention, but with presence, energy and phenomena. It is a kind of seeing, rather than merely looking or judging, and also a kind of “seeing through” whatever illusions of separation the ego works to maintain and buffer itself against the objective reality of unity. MG: Lately, I have conceptualized the 8-Circuit Brain model as a system of four intelligences (physical, emotional, conceptual, and social) that each has two distinct modes of operation—ordinary consciousness (C1–4) and

transpersonal consciousness (C5–8). For example, I conceptualize C1 and C5 as polarities of the same intelligence where we normally operate on C1 and sometimes shift into C5. Does this align with your findings in working with the model? AA: I agree with you here regarding the upper four circuits acting like outgrowths of the bottom four. It’s like with clairvoyance being merely an amplification and acceleration of regular perception; clairaudience and the sense of hearing, clairsentience and the sense of touch, etc. However I have found that the upper four don’t sprout very well until the ground of the lower four circuits have been well tilled, fertilized and tended with care. This amounts to a complete overhaul of their definitions so as to replace the culture’s images with images developed from one’s own direct experience. And before that can happen, there has to be some way or method or self-work or spontaneous enlightenment to dismantle the old paradigms and the wherewithal to endure the transformation into one’s truer, more innate self. MG: I suspect that early linguistics and the assignment of meaning (first attention) belong more to C2 emotional intelligence than C3 conceptual intelligence. The toddler goes through a phase of asking first, “What is this?” and second, “Is it mine?” that seems to tie into C2 development of the me/not me territorial boundaries. Higher level conceptualizing still remains with C3 while the lower level labeling falls under C2 territorial processes. This also puts the first attention on C2, which ties in nicely with the second attention on C6. Your thoughts? AA: Having seen three of my own daughters grow into circuits one and two, I have to stand by the notion that C-3 is where the linguistic labeling really starts, the naming and the nicknaming, the comprehensible words (to C-3 savvy adults) assigned to events and objects. However, I have noticed a kind of C-1 pre-verbal gurgle-talk that some mothers can miraculously understand and translate into C-3 for the dumfounded, astonished fathers. I disagree with first attention assigned to C-2, no matter how neatly it fits into the whole sixth circuit association with second attention. I use the term “first attention” for its specific attributes of automatically assigning meaning to thoughts and words and also as a kind of attention that is really inseparable from thinking. C-2 engagement is usually busy emoting or testing personal

strength, boundaries and status (pecking order) in primarily nonverbal ways. An important side note. I know the borders between these circuits and what they represent to as blurry and with many messy overlays. They are not so clear cut. I think if we can keep this Mess Factor in mind, it may help minimize that hopelessly nerdy tendency for trying to squeeze the putty of real life too tightly into the cookie cutter ideas of our hungry minds. MG: Both Leary and Wilson wrote that the bottom circuits imprinted at acute, random moments in early childhood and adolescence, but I do not see the biological basis for such small windows of imprinting. Certainly birth is the primary C1 imprinting event and the universal human trauma, but I suspect it only accounts for roughly 30 to 80% of the C1 imprint depending on the individual and the circumstances of birth. It seems that C1 imprinting starts in the womb and continues well into the first several months of life. I suspect that C4 imprinting occurs over several years, and I struggle with Wilson’s assertion that the entire C4 imprint is taken on at the moment of first orgasm. What are your thoughts on imprinting? AA: What birth is not traumatic? If all birth is labeled traumatic, perhaps it is more like standard to the experience and not the exception. My experiences parallel Wilson’s and Leary’s here regarding the early childhood imprints of the first four circuits. Once imprinted, however, there are years and decades of affirmative conditioning that fortify and maintain those imprints, habits that can run throughout the rest of our lives and can run or rule the rest of our lives. Though C-1 imprinting does start with the infant dependency event with the mother, or surrogate mother, I think circuits two through four (especially C-4) can remain “un-imprinted” for years to come differing, of course, with each person and their circumstances. As for the entire circuit four imprint occurring with the first orgasm, this sounds ridiculous to me. If only it were that simple and easy yet circuit four has proven to be anything but easy and simple. It’s not just me; look at the world, look at our human history of warfare, genocide and social tragedy. Other equally complex imprints such as religious upbringing, courtship rituals, woman and manhood rites of passage, pregnancy, and parenting also inhabit the web of fourth circuit realities. MG: Could the development of morality fall under the C3 imprint as we

build our conceptual maps of right and wrong, whereas C4 imprinting involves the development of our individual identity within our tribe? AA: Look to real life examples for these answers. Look at friends of yours with the highest C-3 IQ or the ones with overemphasized intellects and ask yourself if they have developed any real sense of right and wrong. Maybe they can tell the difference between a “correct” answer and an “incorrect” answer or whether it’s morally wrong to cheat on a test but the whole area of ethics demands something greater than intellect; it demands conscience. As for tribal identity, that won’t happen unless you know the code of the tribe and can prove yourself worthy of it. That code would probably express how that tribe defines right and wrong. MG: Carlos Castaneda’s don Juan said, “For me there is only the traveling on the paths that have a heart, on any path that may have a heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge for me is to traverse its full length. And there I travel—looking, looking, breathlessly.” How can we work with the 8-CB model as a path with heart? AA: The term “heart” has been tossed about so much in pop psychology and other areas as to almost lose meaning. I define “heart” in terms of courage. Fighters have heart; great fighters have great hearts. Heart is not just about peace and love and flowers. It’s also about the courage to become vulnerable and to show compassion for your naked self. Heart is about facing life as open as the empty sky with the seriousness of a child at play. Heart plays a pivotal role in the integration process of the 8-Circuit Brain model. It’s one thing to understand the model, its basic definitions of intelligence and internal correlations and, it’s an altogether different thing to realize, to embody, your participation in the experience that the circuits act as symbols for. It takes a lot of heart to live nakedly enough to discover one’s most direct experiences and responses to the realities represented by each circuit. It takes a lot of heart to discover direct experience, period. MG: Could you define ego in terms of the 8-Circuit brain? Do you see a distinction between ego and self? AA: In context to the 8-Circuit Brain model, the first four circuits symbolize specific developmental stages of the ego personality as our physical,

emotional, conceptual and social survival strategies and defenses. However, until these levels or circuits can be experienced firsthand and redefined for oneself, our survival strategies and defenses tend to run, more or less, on automatic. Running on automatic means a life defined and driven chiefly by the unconscious parental and societal conditioning we were raised with, rather than a life dictated by our own innate sensibilities, values and ethics as an awakening human being. This shift from automatic living to awakening parallels Carl Jung’s Individuation, Dada Bhagwan’s Self-realization, Dr. Abraham Mazlow’s Self-Actualization, G.I. Gurdjieff’s Self-Work and other related approaches to differentiating the innate being from the unconscious complexes we have mistaken for identity. The 8-Circuit Brain can offer useful guidelines for revisioning these four survival modes, according to one’s own discovery of what each one means and how they interact with each other, towards the maturing of a strong, supple and flexible ego. How the term “ego” differs from “self” should remain an ongoing inquiry. In shorthand, ego refers to any self-image or idea we have become emotionally invested in protecting, defending and preserving; for whatever reasons. The term “self”, for me, represents a process not a goal; self as a verb, ego as a noun. Our experiences are mediated by our bias, beliefs, ideas, ideals, etc. When these mediations can be minimized we can open up to a more direct experience of whatever is happening. As we experience life more directly, or with minimal mediation, a new kind of self develops…one that must stay open and flexible to persist, rather than the ego tendency for fixating on a set image or idea of who we are or what is happening. Again, self as verb, ego as noun. Since the ego is made up of ephemeral image-stuff, it is naturally insecure and understandably covets the idea of being in control or the boss of it all. Even though deep down we may know it’s an illusion to feed the ego’s fantasy, we do it anyway. That’s sleepy human. We also forget that ego is a fantasy and end up taking it way too seriously. Dreaming humans. The process of selfhood, on the other hand, seems more guided by experience itself where the situation becomes the boss. When we become fully engaged, the ego completely disappears into the experience itself. Ah! The awakening human! MG: Where do the “upper” process-oriented circuits 5–8 fit in?

AA: Whereas the first four circuits symbolize a hierarchy of survival needs, circuits five through eight represent states of consciousness and functions of intelligence operating with, what I call, transpersonal post-survival agendas. These agendas push and stretch human consciousness to their outermost limits and can be thought of as evolutionary triggers. Upper circuit experiences are often triggered by specific types of shocks, such as fifth circuit shock of ecstasy, sixth circuit shock of uncertainty (or relativity), seventh circuit shock of unity and eighth circuit shock of impermanence. When I use the word ‘shock’ here I mean these experiences are only shocking to the ego-personality that remains naive to, or in denial of, the objective realities of ecstasy, uncertainty, unity and impermanence. Cultural conditioning, or cultural trance, keeps us asleep to these innate realities until we are ready to become aware of and live with more reality. As we know, real life delivers these types of shocks all the time. We do not need to study psychology or the 8-Circuit brain or meditation to experience them. However, these examples also represent methods and systems through which the outside shocks of our lives can be integrated and even transformed towards productive ends, rather than leaving us devastated victims of circumstance. How the “upper” process-oriented circuits 5–8 fit in is as a kind of language or grid to help us organize our perceptions around those unsettling, yet consciousness expanding, experiences that don’t always come with their own explanations, instructions or descriptions. The 8-Circuit brain model provides a context through which to view and apply the transpersonal experiences of our lives in more personal ways. MG: Does the shift from goals to processes necessitate the activation of these upper circuits? AA: Though this shift you mention can increase the probability of activating these upper circuits, I don’t think it’s guaranteed. Circuit five opens naturally enough through any somatic experience and practice such as tantric sex, yoga, Tai Chi, or creative dance, as well as, more spontaneous events such as the chemistry of falling in love or the joyous culture shock of traveling in a favorite foreign country. However, activation of circuits six, seven and eight rarely avails itself to the assertion of our personal efforts. An exception to this might be the ingestion of certain psychoactive substances, which I, for the

most part, do not recommend due to their tendency to force the circuit open. I am more biased towards the disciplined alchemy of simmering low heat or gradual opening, than white light/white heat blowtorch tactics. It seems that the further consciousness extends into the transpersonal, the less personal effort or ego is required to sustain the experience. This is where the notion of Gurdjieff’s “outside shocks” comes in; they are outside of the ego’s control and comprehension. And as I mentioned earlier, outside shocks happen all the time. What protects us from the awareness their objective realities is what Gurdjieff called kundabuffers, the buffers of our conditioned beliefs, ideas, ideals and assumptions that over-mediate our experiences. As these buffers relax or fall away, the upper circuits become more activated. These buffers are often there for good reason and why their forced elimination or disintegration using high-octane drugs can become traumatic in and of itself. MG: Can the lower, goal-oriented circuits be experienced as processes? AA: I think the lower, goal-oriented circuits can be experienced as processes after we discover the post-survival context their survival agendas can or could serve. For example, attaining security for the sake of security alone is results in a kind of cul de sac, dead end life. We are animals who need to nest, breed and sustain our shelter but we are also more than animals and will become bored, frustrated and even violent if denied our higher human need for fifth circuit ecstasy, for instance. A life lived solely for security, as it turns out, is not enough for some of us. This is why the 8-Circuit brain model and the exploration of higher consciousness are not for everybody. This is not a populist system nor is pursuing post-survival agendas a viable mainstream objective. I do see specific ways the lower and higher circuits can be linked to serve both survival and post-survival agendas in harmony, given there is enough commitment and self-motivation to realize such a Promethean enterprise. The bottom four survival circuits, once integrated as fulfilled needs, act as anchors to stabilize the shocking experiences transmitted through the upper four circuits in these specific combinations: 1/5, 2/6, 3/7 and 4/8. When basic 1st circuit security needs such as food, shelter and safety are actually met, we become free from survival anxiety and move naturally towards 5th circuit bliss. When 2nd circuit emotional needs for status, territory and power are genuinely fulfilled, we naturally grow more empowered and able to

permit more uncertainty, supporting a 6th circuit relativistic position allowing greater simultaneity of multiple views. When 3rd circuit intellectual needs for problem solving, communication with language and creative thinking are met, we are better equipped to find or invent the symbols and images to represent and anchor 7th circuit impressions of ineffable unity and boundless indivisibility with all of existence. When 4th circuit social needs for getting along with people, making friends and forming clans are met, we find a sense of belonging that allows us to live with the awareness of 8th circuit experiences of our mortality, impermanence and intimacy with the all-encompassing abyss of existence. Thus ends a brief summary of how the lower, goal-oriented circuits can be experienced as dynamic processes when linked with the upper circuits in more purposeful ways. MG: Earlier you mentioned that physical, emotional, conceptual, and social survival strategies compose our ego, but that ego also refers emotional investment in protecting, defending and preserving self image. Does it then stand that ego is not necessarily our various survival strategies themselves, but more so our C2 emotional investment in these strategies? AA: The way I use the term “ego” is more like a metaphor to help me understand the human needs for security, boundaries, sanity, love and morality. All these reflect distinct survival criteria of the first four circuits, respectively. There are other needs but these can help explain how the first four circuits symbolize a kind of hierarchy of needs that, when met and fulfilled, nurture the development of a unique personality and distinct ego. And then, there is that level of ego that expresses an emotional investment and attachment to a particular self-image, an image often justified by our proven, and unproven, talents, skills and/or means of employment, i.e., since I read astrology charts for a living, I must be an “astrologer.” As this attachment to self-image persists, we demonstrate defensive behaviors when confronted by anybody who decides that we are not who we think we are or posing as a fraud or impostor. “How dare you!” Emotional investment under this duress reveals itself as “hurt feelings” until we lighten up, laugh it off and realize we were simply taking ourselves—our self-image—too seriously. The real crisis of ego lies with forgetting that it’s just an image.

It is my experience that ego becomes more and more refined as the personality develops and matures. As we learn to fulfill our personal security, status, intellectual and social needs we become more well-rounded as personalities and, we can easily take pride in that. We pride ourselves as being a “good person” (C-4 ego), or a “smart person” (C-3 ego), or an “important person” (C-2 ego) or a “stable person” (C-1 ego) and become invested in these self-images; that’s a lot of ego. As the ego becomes more well-rounded and refined, new problems arise. You see, the refined ego is more difficult to track, identify and expose than let’s say, a louder, more obnoxious and obvious ego. A sufficiently refined ego can easily masquerade as “no ego,” as demonstrated by the countless spiritual gurus whose ultra-slick egos went by unnoticed until scandals of one sort or another eventually caught up with them. These are not necessarily bad people, just as “ego” is not necessarily bad, but people who mistakenly bought into the illusion of their own more esoteric, slippery self-image. They confused a part of themselves for the whole self. Our actual survival strategies can act separately from ego. We are all animals and like our four-legged friends, much of our planetary survival tactics function as pure instinct. However, as humans we suffer from selfconsciousness and that ego causes suffering. We suffer differently from all the other animals. Most of the suffering I see in the world is self-imposed suffering and often, unconsciously so. It is a kind of cheap suffering with no payoff beyond bitching and moaning about trivial drivel. I think there can exist, at the most primordial levels of each circuit, a very pure expression of intelligence relatively free of fixation on image, pride and/or false propriety. However, to access this purity and to maintain it in this society is almost impossible. I mean, we can hold it as an ideal but practically speaking, I think it’s the lesser of two evils to just accept the ego, remain vigilant of one’s own egotistical tendencies and try not to have too many ideas about who you are. My own ego-image is about minimizing ideas about myself —or not to take any of them too seriously—as they just get in the way of direct experience. Besides, there are far more interesting uses for ideas than to cake them onto myself. MG: Setting the tangled thing called ‘ego’ aside, the emotional investment and attachment to self-image strikes me as a function of identification, which contrasts against the C6 shock of relation. Does the C2/C6 verticality

lie in a shift from identification to relation? Does the process of relating suggest more awareness, more choice, and thus the capability for “reality selection?” AA: It’s true, when we have become completely identified with something or someone, it becomes nearly impossible to relate with that thing or person due to a lack of spatial awareness. Relating requires space. Like the synapse gap between interacting neurons, I don’t think there can be any authentic relating or communicating without an increase of spatial awareness. This literally means assigning value to one’s own personal space and the personal space of others. The parameters of one’s personal space differs for each of us but usually it’s the three to five feet of actual space around one’s physical body that I refer to. Once this space can be honored and respected, then we all have more choices about who to let in and how to navigate within the sphere of our own exclusive energy field. Honoring personal space also allows for more trust that this space won’t be as easily violated or invaded. In terms of C2/C6 verticality, I see the fixed idea you are attempting to impose —that identification belongs to C-2 and relating to C-6—over what is essentially a fluid and unpredictable state. But people can and do get fixated or overly-identified in C-6 in ways that are not C-2 involved, that do not involve the emotions. This happens often enough with those training to become psychic or clairvoyant who forget to anchor (or ground) their newly opening third eye and its relativistic outlook in the body itself, in emotional honesty. In the extreme, they become emotionally disconnected and their previous clairvoyance, or clear seeing, turns into a clear cruelty to others and ultimately, themselves. ‘Reality selection’ is a C-6 term I use for an attribute of perception that allows for the simultaneous existence of multiple realities sharing equal value. This C-6 attribute carries a strong relativistic bias where no status or prioritization of realities has been assigned yet. Pure awareness. Reality selection is made possible by the relaxation of the first attention and the activation of the second attention. This can happen by accident, as with certain outside shocks to our attention, and/or it can occur with conscious training. The first attention is that awareness linked to thinking, language and the automatic assignment of meaning to what is being observed. The second

attention is that awareness linked to presence, energy and phenomena without any projection of meaning involved. The second attention is what Carlos Castaneda wrote about in his “don Juan” books when we referred to “seeing.” Many of us look but do not see, in other words. Reality selection is a metaphor for the process of dialing into the different bands of the spectrum of realities opened up by the second attention. What you do, or can do, with that vision depends on how well anchored C-6 is with C-2 emotional reality, or how engaged you actually are with your feelings, passions and the motivation to make things happen. MG: In my own experience, I can “see” the differing perspectives (realities) of various individuals, but I have trouble integrating all those perspectives; I struggle to “dial into” them as you suggest. Tim Leary used to say, “you can be anyone, this time around,” but that has not been my experience. AA: When you talk about integrating all those perspectives you’re really reaching towards C-7 experiences of cosmic unity but that magnum of indivisibility cannot be forced, contrived or “integrated” as any conscious act. To do so expresses the C-3 ego arrogance of attempting some unified field theory by imposing conceptualizations over something that remains essentially unfathomable to intellectual scrutiny: the underlying interconnectedness of all existence. C-7 intelligence lives with and knows the existing unity weaving all those perspectives together. They are already integrated. The trick is anchoring this experience of unity—which is at essence beyond words and beyond duality— with C-3 intellect using symbols, language and images that can communicate that somehow. Those of us opening up to C-7 also become responsible for maintaining our sanity which involves maintaining our communication lines with other minds. Without this C-3 anchoring, our consciousness drifts far and away beyond the body and mind and, from the bodies and minds of others. Many assigned to our mental asylums are actually C-7 casualties who never found or created C-3 anchors. Their ghost ships sail the high seas of eternity, forever and alone. As for Timothy Leary, he was perhaps the most misunderstood famous person of the 20th century. I think what Leary meant when he said, “you can be anyone,

this time around,” was that through conscientious use of LSD one could reimprint their nervous system and, if you were willing to die to your old self and be reborn anew, transform your life accordingly. MG: Earlier you mentioned experiencing firsthand and redefining the circuits for one’s self. Could you say more about the process of defining one’s own terms? AA: It feels like maybe you have hit a frustration point here, of not finding what you were either looking for or hoping to find. I have found your line of inquiry up to this point to be incisive and thoughtful. Your question about the process of defining one’s own terms is a big question, and may be too general for me to address but I will try. This process of defining one’s own terms reminds me of a C-1/C-5 process we explore in the paratheatre work around expanding what we call our “movement vocabulary.” As animals, we all express a distinct movement style, an instinctive way we move through space or how we enter a room for the first time without thinking about it. This personal style forms the basis of an entire movement vocabulary made up of a set of specific patterns of motion in the way we walk, crawl, run, and otherwise move across the floor through space. In paratheatre work, we strive to expand and stretch our movement vocabulary beyond the comfortable and habitual so as to discover entirely new ways of expressing the physical instrument. On a C-1/C-5 level this amounts to defining the terms of our physical self-expression. But to do this, we first must expose the existing conditions of our limitations, where we are in a rut and mechanically repeating the same old movements over and over, again. And so that marks the first stage of this process. After we become familiar enough with our particular rut, we explore what we call ‘movement taboos’…moving in ways we normally wouldn’t due to shame, or fear or embarrassing exposure of some kind. Breaking our movement taboos opens up the playing field for redefining our movement vocabulary and liberating a wider, more dynamic range of motion. I think we can apply this same principle of defining and redefining our terms to the other circuits, as well, given that we remain true to the distinct integrity of each one, i.e., their emotional, conceptual and social realities. MG: So defining and redefining our terms isn’t so much a simple C3

exercise of labeling each of the circuits and what they mean to you, but rather a much more rigorous practice of determining one’s “comfort zone” in the context of the reality or medium of that particular circuit, and then moving past that comfort zone into a new areas of experience? AA: Exactly. There’s a reason why self-work is called self-work; it’s actually difficult and requires effort, rigor and diligence. When we’re defining C-3 terms it can be as simple as renaming, labeling and making any symbolic adjustments necessary to change the lines on a map. But when addressing the other seven circuits, we really have to yield to their innate values, properties and attributes or we’re fooling ourselves. Each circuit has its own code, or language, that can be detected and learned by any illuminated C-3 intellect that has outgrown its tyranny for imposing its conceptual code onto everything else. An illuminated mind gives off more light of perception, allowing greater receptivity to the signals, patterns and codes originating in the other centers, or circuits. The process of identifying our various comfort zones in the various circuits is key to understanding the nature of formidable forces of habit, inertia and redundancy there. When our various physical, emotional, conceptual and social habitual comfort zones can be exposed, I think we stand a greater chance of stepping outside those parameters and going against the grain, you know, rattling our cages a bit more. Sure it can be uncomfortable; genuine growth usually is. Sleep is comfortable. Invest a priori status on comfort or living a comfortable life, and you will go to sleep. If that suits you, then you can be content with that. But you will not grow or evolve beyond whatever habits maintain your comfort zones.

“The Magus and the Mystic” Journal Entries of an Empirical Mystic

The author, circa 1985 When I was about sixteen, I made a private vow never to become anything or anybody when I grew up. This private pledge was a heartfelt response to what I saw as a vapid persona problem plaguing most of the teenagers I knew who seemed hypnotized by the spell (promise?) of premature adulthood. It seemed most kids my age were in a big rush to become somebody. Whether that somebody was the “self-image” of their own creation or the public image of what others expected from them, the very idea put me off. There was a vulgarity in trying to encapsulate the mystery of their being into some understandable concept that seemed absurd to me. In high school they called it an “identity crisis.” To me, it was a ridiculously white Judeo-Christian mental construct to shroud the embarrassing fact that they did not know how to live their lives yet. Who could blame them? Nothing in high school taught us how to survive in the real world. When I realized this, I also realized that I was on my own. This vow to “be nothing” inadvertently initiated a specific self-defining perspective through which the rest of my life would gather momentum and focus. By not becoming anything, I was naively yet sincerely confessing my fervent adolescent devotion to what ancient Kabbalists call “ayn sof,” what

Buddhists call the “Illuminated gate of the Void,” and what the Book of Tarot names “The Fool.” In other words, the mystical impulse had made a home in me. A primary long-term effect of this impulse has convinced me that the very core of my being may be made of this nothingness. The fertile void as true nature? Yes. I know my center as pure potential energy—void of form, shape, or color. Another side effect has been this sense of ordinariness about this revelation: I am nothing and it is not a problem. Magick vs. Mysticism For the sake of semantics and to clarify my own bias, I draw important distinctions between mysticism and magick. I see the mystical path as primarily devotional, a path of the heart. Mystical tendencies encourage us to yield, acquiesce, and eventually surrender to forces we experience as greater and more intelligent than ourselves. The mystical bias remains unconcerned with the outcomes of destiny. It follows a wisdom of nonchalance for letting things happen, letting others be and flowing with the forces at play. Mysticism can be defined simply as any sensibility encouraging direct openness to the universe through a reverence of its innate mystery. Magickal work amounts to self-determined wish fulfillment anchored in the will to power. Magick is rooted in the development of whatever volitional skills enable us to effect change in the outer and inner worlds according to our will, that is to say, on purpose. The magickian works to utilize the forces of nature to fulfill his/her intentions. This can also occur with the use of magickal tools, i.e., ritual implements, herbs, incantations, sigils, etc. Tendencies of both the mystic and the magus exist within each of us at various degrees of latency and realization. When the terms “mystic” and “magus” are used hereafter, they refer to (pre)dispositions and tendencies within us rather than any pure type. Aleister Crowley’s magickal axiom, “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under Will,” speaks precisely of the magickian’s alignment with Will as a superior principle under which Love, or devotion, serves. Crowley’s life and profuse literary heritage remain a chief prototype for many a magus today. The poet, William Butler Yeats was a member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, as was Aleister Crowley. Crowley discounted Yeats as an ineffective magickian and how right he was! Yeats was more mystic than magus. One has only to read his lavish poetry and

his experimental no-plays to ascertain this much. No doubt Yeats probably considered Crowley’s prose and poetry lame by comparison—it was! Mystical or magickal practices express two diametrically opposed approaches and responses to engaging the living forces of the universe. The magus, not unlike the scientist, approaches the universe’s mystery as a relative phenomenon to be understood in gradation through a series of repeatable experiments with predictable results. The mystic, not unlike the priest, relates to the mystery of the cosmos as an experiential process to participate in and eventually be sacrificed to through an act of conscious surrender. “Life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived.” — W.B. Yeats “What is the meaning of Initiation? It is the Path to the realization of your Self as the sole, the supreme, the absolute of all Truth, Beauty, Purity, Perfection!” — Aleister Crowley The Shaper and the Shaped The mystic approaches ritual-making in a completely different manner than the magus. Mystical rituals, from the liturgy of the Catholic High Mass to Native American Sundance ceremonies, engage the celebrants in the physical, emotional, and mental preparations necessary to cultivate direct experience, or gnosis, of sources greater than ego. Receptivity is achieved for merging with higher sources as mystical union. The mystic is “shaped” by this process. Ritual magick, from the Gnostic Mass of the O.T.O. to Golden Dawn ceremonial magick, trains the aspirant to banish and command whatever forces are necessary to evoke and invoke the desired effect(s) of the individual and/or group involved. Energy is summoned, focused and then directed at a target with a goal clearly in mind. The magus “shapes” this process. Within the polarity of the Shaper and the Shaped, we find a spectrum of degrees between magick and mysticism. Whether we lean towards magick or mysticism, we are shaped to some extent by any prolonged influence in either approach, just as we also shape each

approach. To discover the inner workings of each path we have only to examine the different ways we might respond to the phenomena of acceleration, or intensification, of life force in the body. When this happens, I see three basic ways to respond to acceleration: 1) resist it: contracting away from the experience, we tighten and otherwise withdraw our will and consciousness from having the experience; you deny or avoid the experience (self-denial is the boss) 2) control it: directing the experience of the energy according to our will, we grow more aware of gaining influence over the energy itself; you control the experience (you are the boss) 3) serve it: yielding to the experience, we allow the will and consciousness to blend with the experience of the energy; you serve the experience and its innate direction and force (the experience, or situation, is the boss) All three responses express distinct self-defining trajectories and outcomes. In the resistance response, we gain self-knowledge of our limitations—how far we are willing to go with a given force before stopping; here, we are the bosses of ourselves. In the control response, we discover how our will manages the forces by shaping their direction towards self-determined ends; here, we are the bosses of the energy. In the service response, our direct intuitive connection with the energy itself leads to unpredictable outcomes where we are moved and shaped by the energy; here, the energy or the situation is the boss. All three responses exist at various degrees of expression and latency in each of us. Using these three responses as a model, we can read the extent of our own magical vs. mystical bias by the degree we favor control/power over the forces and/or the degree we favor service/devotion to the forces. Resistance seems innate to the challenges of both magickal and mystical orientations. The Sorrow of Too Much Understanding The first “resisting” option is usually the more instructive of the three, insofar as its capacity to expose self-work yet to be attended to before any genuine control or service can actually happen. Like ice to water, resistance expresses energy in its frozen state; it is not different than life. Working to face and express resistances augments the flow of its latent forces. Even though I feel more innately mystical, I have spent far more time operating in the magickal

realms. In retrospect, I can now see how this created a conflicted friction between my essence and personality. In mundane terms, I was a controlling, manipulative person most of my life while harboring secret mystical yearnings within my hidden heart. As it turned out, I was a false magus and a closet mystic, a control freak with a heart. Maintaining control over my external life depended on constantly testing and strengthening my faculty of comprehension. Understanding myself and my place in the world brought me a sense of being in control and solidified my social status as person of “understanding.” People often came to me for advice and perspective on their problems. I did not know it at the time but exaggerating the importance of the faculty of understanding eventually resulted in a self-isolating paranoia. The more I comprehended, the more it became clear how much I could not know and since I was addicted to understanding everything, I started feeling more and more irate and easily annoyed. When comprehension is assigned a priori status, emotional repercussions arise as that status shrinks. Over-emphasizing the value of my understanding resulted in an enflamed sense of self-importance. I was slowly becoming psychopathic, a control freak without a heart. Corrosion of the False Magus An older magus from a well-known magickal order and temple initiated me to my own process of dismantling the false magus within. After accepting his offer, my life as I knew it began to unravel. Whatever metaphysical understanding I had accumulated was lambasted by the magus as inconsequential and frivolous; I was shaken to the very core of my being. Whatever was not innate to this being was subject to more shocks of undoing. I felt terrified. This magus was not terrorizing me. I was terrorizing myself by exalting my bloated assumptions about being a magickian. My lifelong metaphysical understandings and occult pretenses were all revealed as a tyranny of self-oppression. I was living a lie and not coping well with facing that fact. In response to these shocks of self-exposure, my more authentic nature began to emerge. In my heart of hearts I realized the truth—I did not live for power but for love. I was no magus but a mystic. The power of love triumphed over the love of power when emanations of this love emerged and the magus retracted in displeasure and disgust. He called me pathetic and weak. I called

him cruel and heartless. Truth all around. I saw the magus as a brilliant yet sociopathic psychotherapist whose final aim was not to serve the other but to serve himself. The magus helped reveal my true nature by showing me who and what I wasn’t. I left him wounded but assured of my integrity as an individual. This initiatic ritual was over—we had no more reasons to meet or converse. In my eyes, the undoing of the false magus within turned out to be a process of mutual transference between the real magus and myself. His elusive persona cast the illusion of being a mystic himself. The false mystic within him seemed as subverted by my genuine mysticism as my false magus was undone by his magick. His dismantling of my pretenses continues inside my own efforts to live more honestly and for that, I salute the magus. As the persona of the false magus finally fell away, I was left feeling how the need to be seen was equally valuable as my need to see, and that the need to be known was as equally valid as the need to know.

“The Cosmic Trigger Effect” How I Met Robert Anton Wilson In the No Coincidences Dept.

Spring 1979; Berkeley, CA. I’m playing my electric guitar when the phone rings. The nervous voice on the other end introduces himself as Larry, a former Air Force Lieutenant Colonel with a kundalini problem. We don’t know each other but he heard through some grapevine that I knew about kundalini problems. I ask him to explain the circumstances around the spontaneous eruption of the hot spinal fluid and he goes on about his discovery of an encampment of extraterrestrials near Edwards Air Force Base deep in the Mojave Desert. “Extraterrestrials? You mean, like UFO people?” I ask. “Yes,” he says, “and that there were a lot of them using the earth’s energy out there as some kind of fueling station.” OMFG. I asked him if he had been able to talk to anyone else besides me about his experience and he said, no. I told him that I thought he might be undergoing some kind of kundalini krack-up. I explained how his neck was linked to his throat chakra, where the kundalini met up with resistance. Seeing how he was avoiding communicating his experience to anyone, the energy had nowhere to go but implode in his neck. He was silent for a moment and then told me that I was probably right and that he would call back after he thought about what I said some more. We hung up and I went back to playing my 1975 blonde, semihollow body six-string Rickenbacker.

A week later Larry calls back, except now I am calling him Scary Larry in my mind. He wants me to join him and a group of psychics on a trip out to youknow-where, deep in the Mojave Desert. His plan, as he spelled it out, was to get all these clairvoyants out there to validate his life-shattering experience so that he could get on with his life. He invited me to a pre-trip meeting with him and the psychics. I told him I’d attend the meeting but didn’t know whether or not I’d join them in the desert. Five days later I’m standing in Scary Larry’s living room with about a dozen or so bug-eyed psychics eyeballing each other and wisecracking about the upcoming extraterrestrial trip to the desert. In this group I met Geri DeStefano, a large and ebullient Italian-American woman radiating enough shakti for ten men. She asked me if I was going and I told her, probably not. Then she asked me if I would participate in a remote viewing experiment when they were out there and I said, sure. We got to talking and she asks me “What else do you do besides read auras?” I told her I was scripting my next play, a psychic soap opera called As the Worm Turns, but that I was suffering writer’s block. She laughs loud and long after hearing the play’s title and then tells me, “There’s someone I want you to meet. His name is Bob. He’s a writer. He writes books.” I ask, “What kind of books?” She laughs and waves her hand as if I were asking her an impossible question. Scary Larry took Geri and all the psychics out to the Mojave Desert while I stayed home concentrating on that remote viewing experiment. I had played a little with R.V. during my training with Michael Symonds so I figured I could get the process going. After entering trance I couldn’t see any extraterrestrials but I did see a raucous group dancing and partying under the desert moon. It didn’t make any sense to me so I broke trance and went to sleep. A few days later Geri calls me up and tells me about their desert adventure. Since they didn’t see any UFO people out there, she decided to get Larry good and drunk on lots of tequila. She even convinced him to eat the worm. A grand old time was apparently had by all. I told Geri about my remote viewing experiment and she laughed that big laugh of hers and said, “You’re good. You’re for real.” She asked me how my stage play was coming along and I told her it wasn’t; damn writer’s block. She said she had just the thing for me and invited me to a private “salon” up in the Berkeley hills hosted by Bob and his wife Arlen. It wasn’t until after hanging

up the phone that I realized the book I had been reading for the past month, Cosmic Trigger, was also authored by someone named Bob—Robert Anton Wilson. Probably just a coincidence. Two weeks later and I am sitting on the couch in Robert Anton Wilson’s living room, dumbfounded by the rapid-fire laughter and brainpower of the intelligencia bouncing off the walls around me. At 26, I was clearly the youngest person in the room, the baby of these illuminati of scientists, authors, mathematicians, magicians, and discordians. Geri and her husband David were also there. The person who stood out beyond all the other lights in the room was Arlen Wilson. Bob’s wife Arlen struck me as almost mythic, wizened yet totally human, a full-bodied woman with a bawdy sense of humor and an astonishing literary intellect. There was also something about Arlen that was peculiar and complex, simultaneously severe and merciful and very kind. Arlen was also clearly Bob’s muse. A serene, elegant looking fellow with a well-clipped beard walked over to me and introduced himself as a Discordian. He shook my hand, saying, “Greg Hill.” I remembered his name from Cosmic Trigger as the author of the infamous Discordian manifesto, Principia Discordia. He asked me why I was there. I told him I didn’t know yet, but that Geri had invited me after telling her about my writer’s block. He asked me what I was writing. I shared a few plot details from As the Worm Turns and he cracked up and walked over to where Bob was sitting. I couldn’t hear what they were saying over the buzz of words ricocheting off the walls like so much flying lasagna, but Bob was laughing. I felt lightheaded. My gaze drifted over to the window and the night sky beyond. That’s when I saw it. A slowly moving point of light, paralleling the horizon, took a sudden ninety-degree vertical turn straight up and kept climbing. I sat there transfixed when I heard my name called… “Antero. Antero.” It was Bob. “Greg says you’re writing a psychic soap opera. Any chance we can give it a virgin reading at the next salon?” My jaw must have dropped because my words came out sounding funny. “Yes, I can definitely can have the first draft ready in a month.” My gaze drifted back over to the window and there was that light again, only this time it was blinking. Or rather, winking… at me. Now I knew why they called UFO’s unidentifiable flying objects. I didn’t know what it was and that somehow made me feel very, very happy.

A month later As the Worm Turns was finished, just in time for Bob’s next Discordian salon. I was stoked. My new play was scheduled for a virgin reading with Pope Bob himself. I also became a certified Pope that night, at least according to the little yellow card Greg Hill gave me when I arrived with seven copies of my play stuffed under my arm. There I was again, sitting on a couch in Robert Anton Wilson’s living room wondering whether I would see another UFO but mostly just plain wondering. The place was hopping. Jack Sarfatti and Saul Paul Sirag, two cutting edge quantum theorists, were riffing on something traveling faster than a speeding photon. They were jazzed about a superluminal theory that claimed information traveled faster than the speed of light. A wiry heavily bearded, bespectacled Saul reminded me of Allen Ginsburg’s younger brother. Jack struck me as some kind of medieval science fiction wizard— brilliant, mercurial, totally present, and not completely there. I sat there dumbfounded in the crossfire of the superluminal highway. Later that night Bob was in fine form reading excerpts from his upcoming book, The Trick Top Hat, from his Schrödinger’s Cat Trilogy. I sat there astonished by the highly compact, information-rich writing style he had developed. It was as if every other word triggered a different chemical in my brain. Bob had this unique way with words that acted on my ear-brain loop just like drugs. I remember thinking to myself, “This is what writing is all about! Writing is all about magick.” After the initial round of quantum banter and raucous limericks died down (Bob loved them naughty Irish limericks), Arlen asked me to assign roles in my play to those who wanted to read. I assigned her the role of Sylvia, the trance medium who channeled the ghost of Marilyn Monroe. I gave Bob the part of Frank, her droll husband in charge of putting Sylvia into a trance and after the spook left her, bringing his wife back into her

body. They both got a big kick out of that idea, maybe bigger than I’ll ever know. The reading went far beyond my heightened expectations and after a short break, the subatomic socializing fired up again.

from “The Holy Chao” Neuro-Tarot (1979, unpublished) At this point, I should mention that Bob and Arlen’s previous salon inspired me to create, with my limited cartoon-panel talent, an entire deck of neo-tarot cards based on the premises of Greg Hill’s book, Principia Discordia, specifically on the wildly decentralizing central principle of the “Holy Chao” (pronounced “cow”); a ‘chao’ represents a single unit of chaos. I called the Zero card “No-Form” and named the number 1 card “Holy Chao” and the 1.5 card “The Chaoboy”. I showed my cards to Greg. Nodding his head while slowly flipping through the deck he mumbles, “You’re one of us.” He then showed me a tarot spread he called 5-card Catma, a kind of discordian fivecard stud or, evolutionary poker, where the winner was decided by the best creation story told using your final five cards. I asked Greg how he could tell which one was the best story. His pause created a big moment for me. He said, “You’ll know; it’ll be obvious. Sometimes the best story is the funniest, sometimes it’s the saddest one, other times it’s the most bizarre but usually people know right away which story is best.” I asked him, “But what if there are two best stories?” He laughed outlaid and said, “I suppose then we enter sudden death.” Certain books can change your life and Cosmic Trigger changed mine. Though

it was not the first book to blur the lines between “reality” and “fantasy,” it was the first one to suggest that no such lines existed beyond my beliefs in those lines. It was the first book to challenge my beliefs about beliefs, period. Bob’s way with words acted like drugs on my brain and reading this book set off a chain reaction of time-release psychic explosions lasting many years to come. Cosmic Trigger was also where I first discovered Timothy Leary’s EightCircuit Brain model. The Bob Wilson I came to know (circa 1979–86) was at the peak of his game. As far as I could tell, this game was initiating his readers—in books and in person during his many worldwide lectures—to the most operational Einsteinian language possible and to do this in the most entertaining ways his imagination could conjure. I was, and still am, bewildered by how he was able to recontextualize quantum physics through the interactions of his fictitious characters and labyrinthian plot designs in The Schrödinger’s Cat Trilogy and Masks of the Illuminati. Though Bob was clearly a master of this game, I never saw him treat actual living people as characters, or their interactions as games. He knew the difference and took the time to show others that he knew. Bob was very soulful that way. He seemed to simultaneously belong to two generations; the Caregivers of the World War Two era and the Hedonic Seekers of the Sixties. I suddenly saw Bob as a psychedelic mensch with a genius IQ, which for me was as hilarious as it rang true. As I continued attending Bob and Arlen’s Discordian salons, now at their new home in a San Francisco condo, I began to notice a change in my attitude. Though my presence remained one of a gleeful fly on the wall that occasionally buzzed agreement, I also began to see important differences distinguishing Bob’s views from my own. I did not voice these at first for dread of appearing arrogant or stupid but I did not disregard them either. One of the down sides of being in the personal presence of people with more brains and heart than yourself is a kind of gorgeous oppression that took the form, for me, of wanting to be just like Bob or wanting to write just like Bob. At the next salon Bob announced, “Disciples are assholes looking for a human being to attach themselves to.” That was the moment I knew there would be no guru worship at Bob’s house and that Bob would never wish that kind of oppression on anyone.

Though I never felt any oppression from Bob personally, I do recall struggling in his presence with my own unmet and often unconscious childhood needs for a father figure (I never knew my real father). As with many other young fans, my own star struck projections oppressed me more than anything else. That he never encouraged or accepted these projections enabled me to eventually release them and observe him closer, as he was, with little or no emotional investment. What I saw was a man fully inhabiting a world of his own creation —a sophisticated, entertaining and byzantine network of reality tunnels where his consciousness traversed and cross-referenced with astonishing artistry and humor. Whether he was high or sober I noticed that whenever anyone questioned Bob, a consistent delay of silence followed. It was as if he was so abstracted into his internal labyrinth that it took him a few moments to gather his response and surface with it into present time. I began to wonder whether Bob had lost the capacity for direct experience and spontaneous response by living so profoundly in the multiple reality tunnels of his epic mind. Funny thing about Bob and emotions. I never heard him say a good word about emotions, which he humorously dismissed as “territorial signals” and “barnyard politics and soap opera antics.” If Bob professed a certain freedom from territorial signals, they acted out anyway whenever he felt his publishers were withholding royalties or that his books were not getting the recognition they deserved. Bob seemed very emotionally invested in his legacy as a writer. He also showed strong emotion whenever he protested any form of government oppression of the people. All of these personal protests revealed his humanity to me. Something else. Despite all of his so-called extraterrestrial communiqués with the Sirius star system and his own Pookaville of invisible rabbits, Bob consistently struck me as one of the most genuinely sane people I had ever met. Spring 1981, Berkeley, CA. My presence at the Discordian salons began to wane, as I grew more aware of certain key differences between my views and Bob’s. The main difference had to do with The Body. I decided that Tim and Bob overlooked The Body when writing their tomes on the 8-Circuit Brain. Though they certainly wrote “about” The Body, their language was still steeped in the language of the mind, of spelling things out in rational and scientific terms that stimulated the intellect but failed (in my opinion) in its appeal to the

senses. This awareness marked a critical weaning stage for me. Summer 1984, Boulder, CO. My bohemian California lifestyle ground to a halt. I had unwittingly become a parody of myself and was desperate for a big change. For me, this meant getting serious about my 30-year-old life. I migrated to Boulder, Colorado. Within a year, I was married and soon afterwards, a father. In the summer of 1985, I co-produced Bob Wilson’s first visit to Boulder to talk about one of his favorite topics, “Anomalies, Coincidence & Synchronicity.” I remember Bob reveling in the exquisite irony and high humor staged by the venue we booked him in: a church, complete with stained glass windows, a multi-tiered altar and rows and rows of stained wood pews. I opened with a brief solo mime shtick and then Bob the Pope of Chapel Perilous preached to the choir; a rollicking good time was had by all. November 1985, Boulder, CO. Five years after starting my book Angel Tech, I hit a massive writer’s block and decided to throw in the towel. That I was overcome with doubts and insecurities was the least of my problems; my marriage was also falling apart. As beautiful and gracious a person as my wife was, a significant conflict between our separate values surfaced exposing the folly of having wed too soon. I was at a total loss for direction and wandered the streets aimlessly as I’m apt to do when I don’t know where I am going. Wu wei; aimless wandering. That’s when I noticed a poster on a telephone pole announcing a lecture by Timothy Leary on November 11th, my 33rd birthday, at the University of Colorado just five blocks from our basement apartment. The topic was The Eight-Circuit Brain.

Up until then I had only seen Dr. Leary once in person at Berkeley’s Keystone, a former rock club where he was the opening act for several bands. He performed his live wire, standup comic philosopher act as a ruse for delivering rapid-fire jolts of high octane data on the human brain, species evolution and fascism in America; I believe this was 1980 or 1981. I wondered if the stoned out rockers knew what to make of Tim. I was astonished by the clarity of pure signal transmitting from this man. I could have sworn I saw a bolt of blue light shoot right out of his third eye, hitting mine. And now he was scheduled to talk on my 33rd birthday about the 8-Circuit Brain. Aimless wandering led me straight into The No Coincidences Dept. November 11th, 1985, University of Colorado. No longer playing the fool, Tim now embodied the cool academic charisma of a seasoned philosophy professor. His lecture on the Eight-Circuit Brain was electrifying. I thought of approaching him afterwards but couldn’t bring myself to saying, “Hello Dr. Leary, I am writing a book on your 8-Circuit Brain theory. Would you care to look at it?” Right. Who was I kidding? Stumbling out of the lecture hall I drifted across the snow-covered Boulder streets that night, my brain on fire. I could not sleep. I was too busy destroying my writer’s block with fresh hot inspiration for completing my book.

Spring of 1986 Angel Tech celebrated its first “black cover” edition of 300 copies self-published under Vigilantero Press. This first edition was not typeset on a computer. Each page was typed on an IBM Selectric II typewriter and these pages became the original masters for the printer. This first edition came out to a hefty 367 pages (later reduced to 242 pages for the 1986 Falcon first edition after the publisher told me we had to minimize print costs; oh well). I decided to mail Timothy Leary a copy of this first edition in the hopes he might, as a long shot, approve. Several months later I received a letter from Los Angeles containing a computer print out signed by Dr. Leary that said: “Angel Tech is a witty, rollicking, wise rendition of the stages of evolution we have been experiencing. Antero Alli is that special brand of human—a frontier scout for the species—out there on the rim where the past and future intersect.” I couldn’t believe it. Timothy-Fucking-Leary just endorsed my book. OMFG. Beyond the swelling in my head, something changed in me that day. I felt initiated as the next link in an unbroken chain of vessels continuing the transmission and circulation of the consciousness evolution meme. As much as I wanted to feel this moment as some personal triumph, it was not personal at all. It was, and remains to this day, a privilege, one to be passed on to others after my purpose is fulfilled. Hail Eris! Hail Tim and Bob, too!

Artist Credits (Page numbers refer to the 2009/2014 hardcopy editions) © 2009 BEAU CAUGHLAN Pages 46, 101, 114, 135, 140, 145, 173, 180 contact: beaucaughlan.com © 2009 JAMES KOEHNLINE Pages 45, 123, 148, 155, 160 (and book cover art) contact: koehnline.com © 2009 ORRYELLE DEFENESTRATE-BASCULE The Book of Kaos Tarot: Pages 65, 105, 124 Other art: Pages 127, 136 contact: crossroads.wild.net.au/tarot.htm © 2009 MISCHA Pages 73, 133 contact: [email protected] © 2009 BOBBY CAMPBELL Pages 174, 182, 183, 184 contact: bobbycampbell.net © 2009 ZACHARIAH H. WEST Pages 74, 85, 89, 97 contact: swingbabyswing.com/zach_art.html © 2009 LINDA JOYCE FRANKS Page 176 contact: nimbvs.com © 2009 NINA FIKE Pages 50, 112, 178 contact: amorecolore.wordpress.com © 2009 LEARY FUTIQUE TRUST Pages 12, 298 photos, 19 Bob’s letter to Tim Denis Berry, Trustee contact: TimothyLeary.org

© 2009 LANCE BAUCHER Pages 12, 290 photos contact: maybelogic.org © 2009 LINDA MILLER Page 299 Falcon logo contact: originalfalcon.com © 2009 ANTERO ALLI Pages 94, 268, 294 contact: verticalpool.com © 2009 V’SAR 23 Page 66 © 2009 ORIGINAL FALCON PRESS Page 75 photo contact: originalfalcon.com © 2009 SYLVI ALLI Page 12 photo contact: verticalpool.com © 2009 LAPO Page 300 photo contact: verticalpool.com © 2009 KAIJA H. ALLI Pages 236, 267 photos © 2009 JESSICA BOCKLER Page 165 photo contact: jessicabockler.co.uk © 2009 ELIZABETH CHRISTI ALLI Page 284 photo

Suggested Reading Books that have influenced my research EXO-PSYCHOLOGY by Timothy Leary THE GAME OF LIFE by Timothy Leary NEUROPOLITICS by Timothy Leary THE INTELLIGENCE AGENTS by Timothy Leary PROMETHEUS RISING by Robert Anton Wilson COSMIC TRIGGER by Robert Anton Wilson SCHRÖDINGER’S CAT TRILOGY by Robert Anton Wilson MASKS OF THE ILLUMINATI by Robert Anton Wilson TOWARDS AN ARCHEOLOGY OF THE SOUL by Antero Alli ANGEL TECH by Antero Alli A MODERN SHAMAN’S GUIDE TO A PREGNANT UNIVERSE by Antero Alli and Christopher S. Hyatt UNDOING YOURSELF by Christopher S. Hyatt FOOD OF THE GODS by Terence McKenna ARCHAIC REVIVAL by Terence McKenna TRUE HALLUCINATIONS by Terence McKenna ZEN MIND, BEGINNER’S MIND by Shunryu Suzuki TOWARDS A POOR THEATRE by Jerzy Grotowski SELECTED POETRY OF RAINER MARIA RILKE (Rilke translations by Stephen Mitchell) PSYCHOLOGY OF THE TRANSFERENCE by Carl Jung

THE BOOK OF SECRETS by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho) TEACHINGS OF GURDJIEFF by C.S. Nott BOYHOOD WITH GURDJIEFF by Fritz Peters STRANGE LIFE OF IVAN OSIKIN by P.D. Ouspensky IN SEARCH OF THE MIRACULOUS by P.D. Ouspensky TEMPORARY AUTONOMOUS ZONE by Hakim Bey MANDALA by José Arguelles EARTH ASCENDING by José Arguelles THE TRANSFORMATIVE VISION by José Arguelles THE INVISIBLE PARTNERS by John A. Sanford HE; SHE; and WE (three books) by Robert A. Johnson A BLUE FIRE by James Hillman